Chapter 7

We're losing this fucking game and it's all my fault. I've let two pucks into my net already and we're not even done with the second period. What the ever-loving fuck is my problem? Why am I even asking myself this question when I know exactly what my problem is? Or rather, who my problem is.

Ada Lewis.

Elsie's fun-loving, sweet as sugar, hard-working nanny. The woman who has literally been saving me from sleepless nights and endless stress as a single father with a demanding time-intensive career.

Fuck, everything was great. Smooth sailing for me, for Elsie, even for Ada.

Until I opened that damn photo album.

Until I saw Ada Lewis posing for the camera wearing nothing but satin, lace, and leather and simulating the most provocative poses. I couldn't have dreamed them up if I tried.

Now I can't get her out of my damn mind. Everywhere I look it feels like she's there even when she's not. She's invading my every thought and I'm allowing it to happen.

Get your head in the fucking game, Miller!

I watch down the ice as the guys fight for control of the puck. Malone tries twice to get it in the net, but even with an assist from Nelson they're unsuccessful. Foster has it now, swinging around the net but then it's stolen by Louisville's right wing, Olaf Mackleson. The River Frogs now have control and are headed toward me once again, only this time I'll be damned if I'm letting that puck past me.

Mackleson shoots to Simon McCray, who narrowly avoids being checked by Quinton, and passes to their team captain, Patrick Donoghue. He pulls his stick back on my left and sends a slapshot directly toward my chest.

"Miller!" I hear Quinton shout but it's all good. I saw the shot and readied my hand to catch the flying puck. It lands in my mitt and the crowd is on their feet cheering for the save…

Until I open my hand to make sure I indeed have the puck and it's not there. It's on the ground.

"Shit!" I drop to my knees to save the shot once again, only my pads knock the puck back toward my feet and when I try to move to find the damn thing, my own foot pushes it over the line into the net effectively scoring a third point for the Louisville River Frogs.

"Son of a fucking bitch!" I scream as the River Frogs celebrate my blatant stupidity.

The siren blows signaling the end of the second period and I'm the first one off the ice. I slam my gloved fist into the door and stomp inside, ripping my helmet from my head and throwing it across the room.

"FUCK!"

The guys follow behind quietly knowing full well that this game and it's inevitable loss is my fault and mine alone. I'm supposed to be the best fucking goalie in the league. Nothing gets past me. I'm good at my job, but today I'm a fucking sack of shit in a Chicago Red Tails uniform.

"Hey," Colby says, storming into the locker room. "Calm your tits, Miller. An outburst like that on the ice isn't going to win us this game."

"Yeah? Well, you may as well put Remi in the goddamn game instead of me for all the good I've done tonight because I'm certainly not doing you any fucking favors."

Hawken scrunches his face in confusion. "Dude, we're only down by one. We can make that up, eh?"

"Yeah well, we're down by one because I've let three fucking pucks past me today."

"Meh." Dex shrugs. "We've all had bad games. And we've come back from worse. Just…you know…" He shakes his finger at me like a scolding mother. "Don't do that again."

Hawken steps up to me, cupping my shoulders in his hands. "You know what Lasso would say?" He smirks. "He would say be a goldfish. So, fix your shit and go back out there and be a goddamn goldfish Zeke."

I slump to the bench, hanging my head in frustration. "I wish it were that simple."

"Uh oh," Milo mutters. "This doesn't sound like game talk anymore." I glance up at him with a reddening face. My hair dripping with sweat.

"I think you might be right, Landric," Colby says, lifting a brow. "You want to tell us what's going on?"

"Not particularly."

"Alright then I guess we're just going to take the loss, gentlemen, because Miller here doesn't have his fucking head on straight and is too much of a pussy to talk about it."

"Leave it alone, Nelson."

Quinton leans over. "Something going on at home? Things with Ada aren't good?"

I let out a resigned sigh because Quinton is my friend and these guys are my family and I hate that I got here today and didn't say anything to them and now I'm not just fucking myself over, I'm fucking them over too.

"Ada's fine. More than fine. She's…perfect."

"Oh shit." Dex huffs a laugh but his brows shoot up and he has a goofy smile on his face. "Are you telling us we're losing this game because you finally fucked the nanny and she's got you by the balls now?"

I shake my head. "I didn't fuck her. No."

All heads turn toward me. All eyes on me expectantly waiting for further explanation.

With another heavy sigh I tell them, "But I did open a photo album of hers a few days ago expecting to see her late husband and they were definitely not pictures of her late husband."

"Oooh" Quinton sits back with an understanding grin. "I think I know where this is going." I shoot a glance to Quinton and with a cautious smile he asks, "Were they pictures Kinsley may have taken?"

I nod silently.

"Boudoir photos?" he asks.

I nod again.

Dex laughs. "Oookay so you didn't fuck her but now you want to fuck her. You want to fuck the nanny."

My elbows on my knees I push my hands through my hair. "I…I don't know what I fucking want at this point but those pictures…they were…fuck…she was…"

"Yeah." Milo chuckles. "We all have pictures of our women that Kinsley took last season. We know exactly what you're talking about."

I sit up, glancing at each one of them, relieved at their understanding expressions. "Oh, thank fuck because I think I'm going crazy here you guys. Every time I look at her I see…a different side of her. It's all I've been able to think about. I struggle to talk to her now. Like she'll see that horny teenager inside of me who so desperately wants to tell her how insanely hot I thought she looked in those pictures. How am I supposed to keep looking at her like I haven't seen them? Like I don't know what she looks like under her normal clothes?"

"Does she know you saw them?"

"What? No way." I shake my head. "I was just grabbing something out of her room for her while I was upstairs and I accidentally knocked the book off her desk. And then once I saw them I couldn't unsee them. But I don't want to unsee them, so what the fuck am I supposed to do now? Am I supposed to fire her?"

"Fire the nanny because you saw pictures of her she didn't intend for you to see?" Quinton scowls. "How's that fair?"

He's right. It's not fair.

Colby takes a long gulp from his water bottle. "Is she doing a good job?"

"A spectacular job. Elsie would be heartbroken if I asked Ada to leave."

"Then you have to get your shit together and put it behind you. Seems like she just knocked you off your game."

"Oh, he's so far beyond the game right now," Dex adds. "Maybe you should just scratch the itch."

All the guys scoff at Foster who doesn't seem to know when to leave the subject of fucking the nanny alone.

"What?" he asks with a shrug. "I'm just saying if he can't get her out of his mind, then he should fucking do something about it."

My blood pressure starts to rise as my anger and frustration grows. "Like what, man? You think I should walk through the front door when I get home tonight, bend her over, and fuck her brains out whether she wants it or not just because I saw a few sexy pictures of her?"

"Maybe not tonight, Zeke." Quinton smiles. "The girls all went over to your house to keep Ada company and watch the game."

"Oh, great. So now she's at home watching me play like a complete fuck nut."

Dex cocks his head. "What does it matter how you play in front of her? She's just the nanny."

"It doesn't. I know. I'm just—"

"Do you like her?"

"I barely know her!" I shout. "It's not like we sit at home at night and share our deepest darkest desires, Dexter. She's doing a job for me. She's taking care of the most important part of my life and I'm paying her to do it."

"I understand that but let me ask you something." He turns to me. "When was the last time you got laid?"

"Why is that even relevant? We have a game to win."

"When was the last time, Zeke?"

"I don't…" Ugh. "A long time ago. Before Lori left."

Dex's eyes practically protrude from his face. "You haven't—?" He starts to say before I glare at him with a don't-fuck-with-me-right-now expression. He holds up his hands in defense. "Okay, okay. So, it's been a while."

"Yeah." I nod, feeling even more pissed off than I was when I walked in here. "It's been a damn minute."

"So, she's your dangling carrot."

"What?"

"That part of you, the sexually active part of you, has been dormant for years and yesterday you opened a book that reawakened you a little. You haven't as much as looked at another woman since Lori left. Why not?"

"Because technically we're still married and I'll be damned if I willingly give her the chance to call me a cheater."

"Okay so first of all, that's a load of shit and you need to cut ties with her because until you do you've put your personal life on hold and that is completely unfair to you."

"How am I supposed to do that when I don't know where the fuck she is?"

"You call your lawyer, man," Colby says with a scoff. "Or are you hoping she comes back?"

"Not in a million years. It's not just me. I gave a damn that she left me three years ago but she went way too far by walking out on Elsie and that is unforgiveable to me. She doesn't deserve to walk back into Elsie's life whenever it's convenient for her. Fuck that."

"Okay." Dex nods. "Then Colby's right. It's time to contact a lawyer and finish what she started. And as far as Ada is concerned. She's like a dangling carrot. Something you didn't know you wanted until it was dangled in front of you. It's completely normal to be attracted to a pretty woman, Zeke, but you have to decide how you're going to manage your thoughts. If you like her and you're attracted to her, then maybe you should do something about that."

For the first time today, what Dex is saying is beginning to make sense.

"So, you have choices," he says. "You can fantasize about the nanny and jack-off all you want in privacy, you can watch some hot porn and try to erase the pictures from your mind, you can go find a puck bunny after the game and get some action, or you can literally go after the dangling carrot and see if it's a snack you enjoy."

Hawken leans over on the other side of me with a smirk and whispers, "I can have your very own fleshlight delivered via Instacart tonight if you want one, Zekey. It can probably be here before the end of the game if you need to relieve some pressure."

His question breaks the tension in the room and we all laugh. I bump his shoulder with my own. "Fuck you very much, Malone. I think I can handle it."

My fist will work just fine.

___

In the end we pulled out the win. I blocked every single goal attempt made and Quinton and Milo both scored in the final period, thank God. I took a long cold shower after the game relieved that my teammates came through for me, disappointed in myself for needing them to come to my aid, and determined to put my thoughts of the sexy nanny behind me.

She's just a person.

There's nothing between us.

She has no idea I've seen her pictures and that's the way it should stay.

I pull up to a darkened house after trying unsuccessfully to dismiss an invite to Pringle's with the team. I promised Ada I would be home before midnight, but after what happened between periods tonight and then pulling out the win, the guys insisted I go with them for a drink. I texted Ada earlier and told her I would be later than I thought so that she knew she didn't need to wait up but when I walk past the foyer towards the kitchen I stop short at the sight before me.

"YAAAASSS! GO! GO! GO!" Ada whisper shouts with two arms up in the air, a beer in one hand, as she cheers in front of the television. She's a fucking sight for sore eyes in her extremely short black sleep shorts and pink tank top. The way the lamp light illuminates her body from the side of the room, I can see the outline of her breasts through the sheer fabric of her shirt.

Fuuuuck me. She's not wearing a bra.

My dick stirs in my pants but I refuse to allow it to embarrass me further. Squeezing my eyes shut, I tell myself,

She's ugly as hell.

Looks like Nanny McPhee.

She smells bad.

Her breath smells like tobacco and onions.

And the braided armpit hair is definitely a turn-off.

None of those things are true, but a man has to try, right?

"SAFE!" she shouts as quietly as possible, doing a little happy dance in front of the television. She turns herself around in celebration until she spots me in the entryway. With a huge smile on her face, she skips over to me and puts her hand up for a high five.

"Hey! Congratulations Zeke! Awesome game tonight! That was quite the comeback."

I don't know how she does it, but with one smile, and one sentence, she breaks me away from my intrusive thoughts and reminds me that she's just a woman. A super cool, seemingly fun woman.

And she watched my game.

"You watched?"

She furrows her brow. "Uh, yeah. Of course I watched. "Elsie will be excited in the morning to hear that you won. She was talking about it when she went to bed." Her eyes grow and she points to me excitedly. "Oh, I almost forgot the best part of the night! Kinsley brought the girls over to watch the game so I could meet everyone. I mean not Carissa, obviously, though I've obviously already met her, but I met umm, Charlee, Tate, and Rory. They were all so sweet and so much fun!"

"That's great. I'm glad you got to meet everyone. Sorry I played like a fucking loser tonight."

She cocks her head with a scowl. "Okay first of all, you did not play like a loser tonight. Did you see you in the third period? You were on fire! And besides, everyone has a bad game. You came back in the end and won so chin up." She elbows my side. "You want a beer?"

She walks toward the kitchen and I follow her every move, watching her perfect ass sway with every step she takes. "It's twelve-thirty in the morning."

How does she have so much energy for this time of night?

She pulls a bottle of beer from the fridge and opens the top with the bottle opener attached to the cabinet. "Yeah but it's only ten-thirty in California and my brother's also playing tonight and it's one of his last games of the season and it's been a fantastic game so far! He hit a grand slam at the top of the sixth and I bet he's flying high right now and I wanted to wait up for you anyway so two birds one stone, you know? Carter's game is keeping me awake and also I maaaay have had a little too much caffeine about an hour ago but now here you are and the game isn't over so you should relax and watch it with me."

That was a lot of words she just rattled off. But also, her excitement for her brother is heart-warming.

And also, "You wanted to wait up for me?" I ask, dropping my duffle bag and taking the beer she offers me. "I told you, you didn't have to worry about it."

"Of course!" She beams. "You won tonight. You fought the good fight. I wanted to be able to congratulate you so I found my brother's game on my app and streamed it to the television while I was waiting for you. Come on." She plops down in the middle of the couch and pats the seat next to her. "Come watch." She stops and looks at me with huge round eyes. "Oh, unless you have some kind of strict schedule you keep. Especially after a game. I totally understand if you have—"

"Nope." I shake my head and kick off my shoes, taking the seat next to her on the couch. "We're off tomorrow before our away games start next week."

"Great!"

This might be an actual first in my life.

Lori never waited up.

Lori didn't give a damn about sports of any kind.

Lori hated what my career demanded of me.

And now I'm sitting next to someone who not only watched my game tonight, she waited up to talk to me about it. And now we're relaxing on the couch together with a beer and a baseball game.

And her shoulder is touching mine.

And she's not wearing a bra.

And if I don't stop thinking about that, I'm going to need to hug a pillow for the rest of this game.

The eighth inning has Carter's team, the Indianapolis Bobcats, trailing six to five. Ada has been on the edge of her seat, literally, for the last several minutes praying the game has a positive outcome for her brother. Admittedly, I've very much enjoyed watching her get all worked up. She's a loyal fan of not only the game of baseball but also of her brother. I'd like to think, in time, she'll be a devoted fan of mine as well. And I'm grateful she appreciates the lengths athletes must go through to be good at their sport.

"They cannot piss on his grand slam. He's having a great game. They have to pull this out. Come on gentlemen! There's still time."

I'm so fucking relaxed. After the two beers I've just downed, I couldn't be happier sitting here with Ada watching baseball after an evening of playing hockey. This is quite literally a dream come true. The night could only get better if it ended with some wildly fun sex.

Not that I'm relying on that or anything.

Ada's hot, there's no question. And at least twice tonight, I've enjoyed watching her tits bounce up and down when she jumps up to celebrate her brother's team. I am a guy after all. I can look even if I can't touch.

"Fuck YES!" Ada jumps up again when Randall Simon hits a double at the top of the ninth. "Come on Carter! You can do this! Just one home run and you're all in."

She holds her hands in front of her mouth like she's praying as her brother comes up to bat. Even I find myself on the edge of my seat. Ada's energy for watching the game is contagious. The pitcher throws his first pitch and it's a strike for Carter.

"Shit!" Ada whisper-shouts. "Come on Carter. Eye on the ball."

"He's got this," I reassure her.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Look at his eyes. You can always see the focus and determination in someone's eyes. I know the look well."

The next pitch is good and Carter has a strong hit.

Ada throws her arms up in the air and it's like watching her do an aerobic workout. She circles her arm like a base coach telling their runner to keep going.

"Yes! GO! GO! GO! RUN CARTER!"

He taps first base and runs for second but he doesn't stop there.

Holy shit.

How's he going to play this out?

One of the outfielders throws the ball to the pitcher who sees Carter stuck between second and third base.

"Fuck," I mumble.

Carter pretends he's running back to second causing the pitcher to toss the ball to the second baseman, but it's a fake out as Carter shuffles his foot just as I would my skate to change directions and runs to third. The second baseman chases him until he gets close enough to toss the ball to the third baseman in hopes he can tag him out. But he drops the ball and now Ada and I are both on our feet watching the intense finish.

"OH MY GOD! CARTER GO!!"

The third baseman scoops the ball and chases after Carter when he shuffles back toward second but then he shuffles again and tries to get back to third. The pitcher moves toward third base but Carter dives in and taps the base with his hand before the ball is caught and he is—

"SAFE! OH MY GOD! THAT WAS IMPOSSIBLE!" Ada jumps up and down.

"That was fucking amazing! I beam back at her. My hand in my hair, I blow out a huge sigh of relief and laugh in astonishment as she gives me a joyous high five, jumps into my arms, throws her arms around me excitedly, and kisses me.

Full. On. The. Mouth. With. Tongue.

Hooooly shit.

Her tits.

Her tits are brushing against my chest.

Fuuuuucking hell.

I haven't kissed a woman in an extraordinarily long time.

Please God, do not let me forget how.

I'm just about ready to believe she really wants to be kissing me when she stops suddenly and jumps away from me. Her eyes are like huge round saucers and she gasps, bringing her hand to her lips and shaking her head. "I…Oh, my God, Zeke. I'm…I'm so sorry. I don't know what…"

"It's okay," I try to reassure her and play it off. "I figured maybe that's how you celebrate in baseball. Thought maybe hockey could learn a few things."

She laughs and I'm grateful to have broken the tension a little. "I…" She brushes her fingers over her lips and I wonder if she's thinking about that kiss the way I'm thinking about that kiss because that kiss was the start of something amazing and she hasn't stopped staring at me.

Her soft lips moved against mine.

Her tongue was in my mouth.

I tasted her.

And now I can't stop picturing her in that red lingerie laid out on the bed. A feast for my eyes and a vivid memory for my dick.

Fuck, where's that pillow when I need it?

"I'm so sorry. I just got—"

"Caught up in the moment," I finish her sentence. "Don't worry about it. I kiss the guys all the time when I'm excited."

She laughs again and throws the nearest throw pillow at me. "You do not, jerk."

"You're right, I don't." I grin. "But if I wanted to, I'm pretty sure Dex would be all too willing."

"You're probably right," she laughs.

"But pick me first, alright?" I tease even though I'm so not teasing. "Don't kiss Dex. His breath smells like pork rinds. Just kiss me instead. I'm the far superior kisser anyway."

She blushes. "I'll keep that in mind."