Chapter 13

13

SLOAN

O ur hotel room's heavy door closes with a loud click as the lock engages behind Bones. I knew being the bait to lure out Father Xavius was going to be difficult, but I didn't realize that having Bones be my shadow would be the worst part. When we're out, exploring the city and playing happy vacationers, I can almost believe that we're together. All the little touches, sitting close, holding him while we ride his bike. Every damn moment outside of our hotel room is exquisite torture. I've tried ignoring how much he turns me on, but I'm dying here. Because the moment that hotel door closes, it's like Bones is on a different continent than me. If it wasn't for the ruse needing us to share rooms, I'd ask for my own. That way I'd at least be able to take care of how damn horny I've been.

It's not fucking fair. Bones, a damn demon in human form, tattooed to look like a living skeleton, who smells like everything warm and comforting, and kisses like he needs to devour me is able to just . . . ignore me. Like I'm as interesting as the barely comfortable padded chair at the generic so-called work desk against the wall.

What's it going to take for a girl to get some relief?

I drop the cross body purse I've been using during the trip on the bed I've claimed, not that it holds much other than a wallet with some cash. I don't even have an ID anymore. Bones, of course, insisted on having the bed closest to the door for safety reasons. I watch as he shrugs off his leather club vest, squirming at the ripple of his shoulder muscles under his slim fitting red shirt.

"I need a shower," I mutter. A very, very cold one.

Bones freezes. Not even bothering to look at me, he pulls the vest back on and turns back towards the door. "I'll be downstairs."

"Oh my god!" I practically screech at his announcement. He stops, hand still outstretched for the door handle. Anger and frustration drowns any arousal I'd been feeling an instant ago. "What is your problem, seriously?"

Bones twists towards me, his frown giving him a more frightening visage. "I don't have a problem."

I let out a humorless bark of laughter, shaking my head. "Yeah, you clearly do. A problem with me, since there's no other thing I can guess. Was the kiss so bad that you can't even stand to be around me anymore? Had I known it would make you so uncomfortable I'd never have asked you." My tone turns snarky, unable to hold it back. "Let me apologize sincerely if that's your problem. Message received loud and clear."

Bones turns fully around to face me, leaning his back up against the hotel door as he matches me glare for glare. "And what message would that be, Sloan?"

I snort derisively and gesture at him. "That you can't stand to be around me anymore unless you absolutely have to. I mean, the moment we're in this room, you do your best to ignore me. Whatever. I've been on my own for most of my life. You don't have to worry about me bothering you. But seriously, you think I haven't noticed you leaving any time I take a shower? It's like I'm so gross to you that you think I'm going to jump you naked or something."

"Stop talking."

I stomp over to him, closing the distance at his cold order. I poke him hard in the chest, my anger tinting my vision red. "No." I state. Then punctuate each word with another jab. "No one tells me what to do anymore. No one."

Bones' bronze eyes narrow and his hands flash out, grabbing my wrists. My breath catches at his sudden closeness. His fingers are hot, and the pressure of his grip makes me ache to feel them elsewhere.

"You want to know why I've been staying away from you? I'm trying to protect you," he growls, his voice vibrating deep in his chest. He tugs me closer, his face dipping towards me until I have to crane my head back to maintain eye contact. "You think I hated that kiss? You couldn't be more wrong. That's why I've been staying away from you. If I'm close to you, if I can smell you or hear your voice, all I can think about is stripping you down and fucking you until you're screaming my name."

My mouth goes dry as I try to process what he's saying. He--what?

"Wait. What?"

"I said," Bones repeats, his voice turning rough. "That's the only way I can fuck you. You screaming my name. Otherwise, you'll be screaming for me to stop. To let you go. For me to leave you alone. And I'll do it. I'll leave you alone. You're safer that way."

"Bones," I whisper, the last vestige of my anger fleeing.

He squeezes his eyes shut, and he presses his forehead to mine. "Fuck, Sloan. Don't say my name like that. Please. You're not safe with me. You're a good person, and I'm not. I'm a monster. All that shit they taught you about demons? It wasn't all wrong."

I tip my head back, pressing my lips against his. Bones' hands tighten on my wrists and I think he's going to push me away, but instead, he kisses me back. Desire surges through my veins as he pulls me closer, his body flush against mine. His tongue sweeps against my bottom lip and I moan, opening my mouth to him. My nipples pebble and I press my thighs together, my pussy aching with the sudden rush of arousal.

I break the kiss, panting hard, and Bones loosens his grip. I pull away slightly and he lets my arms go. My heart pounds as I step away from him, my blood burning.

"You're not a monster."

Bones' expression twists, and he shakes his head. "You don't know me. If you did, you'd never kiss me again. I'm no saint."

I can't stop the bark of laughter as I shake my head. "If you were a monster, you wouldn't have stopped when we first kissed. I felt how much you wanted me. I was willing. I'd have let you and you pushed me away."

"You don't know--"

"Stop," I snap, cutting him off. "I know you. I know you better than you think. I've watched you with the other Knights, when you don't think anyone is looking. You're protective, and you're loyal. You'd do anything to protect your friends and Devil's Haven. And that includes Reaper, and the other demons. Why else would you have joined the Knights to begin with? I'm not saying that you're not a dangerous man, Bones. I'm saying you're not a monster. Maybe you're a little broken." I throw my hands out to the side. "Guess what? So am I. I'm not going to ask you to tell me your secrets. I'm not even going to ask you to stay. I'm a big girl. I know the risks, and I know what I'm doing. You don't have to walk on eggshells around me. I'm not a victim. I'm a survivor."

I can't stop the self-deprecating chuckle that escapes, and I shrug. "Besides. You're not the only one with secrets. You think I'm a good person? I'm not."

Bones' eyes narrow. "Why do you think that?"

I wave a hand at the door. "If I'm not a monster, then that makes me the monster's accomplice. I believed the lies, Bones. I believed that I was helping to bring justice to the world. I wanted to be special and I fucking loved them at first. Because I was so naive that I believed every pretty word they told me until I was too deep to leave."

Bones reaches out and cups my face in his large hands, his thumbs caressing my cheeks. His expression is intense, the bronze of his eyes practically glowing. "No. You're not a monster. You're strong and brave and beautiful. And I'm not a good man. Not by a long shot. I'm not a hero, Sloan. I'm a soldier. You think you're broken?" He pulls back and lifts up his shirt with a hand, revealing his heavily scarred torso. "I did this to myself. My commanders had me use my own bones as weapons. I tortured innocents. I killed them in the most brutal of ways. I pulled their bones from their bodies one at a time, without hesitating."

He takes a step forward, his eyes glowing with a darkness that has my heart rising into my throat. He takes another step forward and I fall back. The edges of my vision darken, but then I realize it's misty shadows. Bones bares his teeth in a harsh snarl and yanks off his leather vest. Then he grips his shirt by the neck, tearing it over his head and off as he takes another step towards me. I retreat, unable to look away from the predator stalking towards me, death in his eyes.

"I'm a Hells-forsaken demon, Sloan." Bones' voice has changed. It's hollower, echoey like we're in a vast cavern. He's changing before me, growing taller until he's hunching over to avoid the ceiling. Somehow he's shoved his jeans off but the fact that he's naked before me means nothing. Not when he's growing larger, not when he's no longer human. "It seems like you need a reminder of that."

I keep walking back, my eyes going wild as I try to take in everything before me. Where Bones was--is, is a giant wraith. Bones, in his human form, already towered over me but now in his true form, he's at least eleven feet tall. Instead of his lean, whipcord muscles and tattooed skin, he's gaunt--nearly skeletal. Gray skin clings to each bone, every rib visible, every tendon and ligament raised. His hands -are- nothing but bone, ending in wicked looking talons. Every scar I'd glimpsed on his human chest are worse now. Instead of silvered with age, they're red and ragged like freshly healed wounds. Traveling upward, his true nature is impossible to deny. Instead of a humanoid head, his burning bronze eyes glow in the black cavities of a massive coyote skull, two spiral horns as long as my arm curling up out of his forehead.

This is what I am, Sloan. That echoing voice is all around me and inside my head. You need to accept that I'm a monster. A demon. I'm not a human like you. You shouldn't want anything to do with me.

He's right. I should be quaking with fear and yet that's not what is making me shiver. He could snap my spine like a brittle twig. His mouth gapes open, fangs the length of my hand on display. His eyes are nothing more than floating orbs set in the eye holes of the white skull.

Except, like this?

"You take my breath away," I confess without thought. I raise a hand, longing to explore this true body of his.

Bones inhales deeply, then hot breath rushes from him to billow over me. It's the same scent I've always associated with him, but evolved. The warm, comforting autumnal scent of his human form has deepened to the rich petrichor of a forest after all of the leaves have fallen and each tree slumbers.

When he says nothing, I step forward. He holds still, bronze eyes flaring brightly. I get the sense that he's anxious, that this is unknown territory for the both of us.

I place my hand in the middle of his chest, the muscles twitching underneath me. Bones is forced to twist and drop his chin to his chest to keep me in his sight. Enthralled, I bring my other hand to him. From his appearance, I expected him to feel cold and hard. Maybe even fragile, like the thin skin of someone in their 90's. In reality, he's warmer than I've ever felt him and his skin reminds me of velvet. I don't even fight the temptation to rest my forehead against him, nuzzling and breathing in his scent.

With the Light Justicars, I was taught my duty was to fight creatures like Bones. It never sat easy in my mind but now that I'm surrounded by him, in his truest form, I know how wrong Father Xavius and the others are.

I could never believe someone who made the chaotic world seem so far away, who grounded me with a single touch, who made me feel safe despite their evident power, was evil.

The silence relaxes around us, transforming from tension to warm intimacy. Bones shifts and I smile against him as a massive hand rests on my back, holding me closer.