22. Blasted Interruptions

BLASTED INTERRUPTIONS

A melia arrived in the dining room to find Leopold's seat empty, and although there were two settings at the end of the table, she couldn't help but wonder if he would absent himself tonight.

He'd come to her chamber, but it had been Amelia who'd done the unthinkable, approaching him, kissing him. Straddling him!

It wasn't simply that she'd decided to break every rule she'd ever learned, but she was doing it with relish. The old Amelia simply sat back and watched while this new Amelia dove into all manner of trouble utterly unchecked.

It was surprisingly satisfying.

He'd touched her bare leg and, afraid there'd be no turning back, she'd faltered. Two minutes after that, he'd shuffled her off his lap and made a hasty excuse to practically sprint out of her chamber.

She glanced outside, through one of the windows that lined the long room. It was nearly dark.

That kiss had taken place less than two hours before.

The door opened, but she was disappointed to see it was a servant rather than the man she'd been waiting for.

"Would you care for a glass of wine, my lady?" he asked, carrying a decanter with a linen cloth draped over one arm.

"Yes, please. He is coming, then? Mr. Beckworth?"

"Cook expects him, my lady."

As he poured the contents into her glass, the servant's stare barely flickered to her neck but then just as quickly back to his task.

Amelia's cheeks warmed. Despite dabbing the affected area with lavender water, red marks had already blossomed there from Mr. Beckworth's… attentions. By the time she'd realized she had a problem, it had been too late for her to prepare one of the gowns in the wardrobe. The best she could do was drape a shawl around her shoulders. She'd tried to tug it higher up around her neck, but the material refused to stay in place.

Did this servant know what had caused those marks? Could he guess? The possibility was… too appalling to think about.

Mr. Beckworth had been in her bedchamber. They had been alone.

"Thank you," Amelia croaked, and then she cleared her throat, staring down at the empty plate in front of her.

Who was she now? What had she become? She'd shed some of the armor her parents instilled in her, leaving her feeling light and free, but did shedding that armor also make her more vulnerable?

If Mr. Beckworth did decide to join her for dinner, what would they discuss? The weather? How long he intended to keep her here?

The fact that she'd kissed him?

Thankfully, she didn't have to sit alone with her thoughts for long. And this time when the door opened, Mr. Beckworth's presence filled the room before she could even look up.

"My lady." His gravelly voice echoed off the walls.

"My Lo—Mr. Beckworth." Amelia barely caught herself. She had nearly my lorded him!

She waited until she knew he'd taken his seat before looking up. His eyes met hers, as unreadable as ever. Could he feel this too? This crackling in the air?

"My apologies," he said. "For making you wait."

Civility. It seemed he'd decided on civility.

The irony wasn't wasted on her.

"I haven't been waiting long." Amelia kept her voice cool and level, grateful now for all of her rigid training. She forced a polite smile and refused to allow herself to dwell on his mouth.

He cleared his throat.

Amelia dropped her gaze.

And then the doors pushed open, and the aroma of a savory meal drifted in along with the three servants carrying it. Thank the heavens . Amelia nearly mumbled her feelings out loud. For a few minutes anyhow, she had somewhere else to look, and she wasn't the sole recipient of all that intensity in his eyes.

The servants set out the platters efficiently, however, and disappeared all too quickly.

Leaving the two of them alone, the air so thick she could slice it with a piece of her cutlery.

"There won't be a repeat of what occurred in your chamber earlier." He spoke so matter-of-factly, he might as well have been asking her to hand over the salt. "It was a mistake."

"Why?" Amelia asked without thinking. But she wouldn't take it back. She knew all the reasons she shouldn't have kissed him like that, but what were his reasons?

As far as she knew, he wasn't the one with a reputation to protect. Was there another woman somewhere? Someone that he loved?

The second that possibility crossed her mind, a cold, ugly sensation unfurled inside.

Of course, he didn't reply right away. In his usual way, he carefully considered his answer before speaking.

Or perhaps he simply enjoyed watching her squirm. With this frustrating man, anything was possible.

"This is only temporary," he finally said. "Look at me, Amelia."

She obeyed his request immediately and was surprised to see something soft in those black eyes of his. In that moment, all she could think about was that kiss and all the sensations she hadn't known she'd been craving.

"I followed all of your rules," she said. Even to her, it sounded childish.

His mouth softened as well, however, one corner jerking in a not-quite smile.

But it flattened just as quickly. "I shouldn't have asked you to."

"Why?" she asked again. All her life, she'd been kept in the dark. At least here, in this other world, she wanted to know all the reasons. And if she had a choice, she wanted to make it for herself.

Again, he waited nearly a full minute before responding.

"This isn't real." He leaned forward. Surely, Mr. Leopold Beckworth, king of everything outside of London, wasn't imploring her? "In a matter of weeks, you're going to be back with your parents, dancing at balls and taking tea with other ladies like yourself."

Amelia shook her head. "I'm ruined?—"

"You don't know that." He blinked. In the candlelight, his lashes looked inky and thick. "You know how I feel about all the trappings you grew up in—about society, the aristocracy, the ton . But that is your life. It is your future."

His words should have reassured her. Instead, they felt like arrows piercing her one by one.

She… She didn't want — "I am not unhappy here."

"You only think you aren't." He turned his attention to the food, spooning stew and potatoes onto his plate. When she didn't move, he reached across the table and spooned some of both onto hers.

Aside from the night she'd spent trapped in her corset, this, right now, was possibly the worst she'd felt since she'd been snatched from her parents' carriage.

But… Amelia narrowed her eyes. It was real. And although he was wrong, she couldn't help but believe Mr. Beckworth was trying to protect her.

Not only from some unknown danger he refused to explain, but from… himself.

He thought that by protecting her from him, he was protecting her from herself. Something she'd experienced enough of to recognize as something she'd no longer allow.

Not from her father. Not from her brother. And definitely not from Mr. Beckworth.

"Do not pretend to know my feelings." She ignored the food on her plate. "I followed your rules because I wanted to. And it's true, you aren't like any of the gentlemen my parents have in mind for me. You aren't pretentious or fawning. You have purpose. You've given meaning to your life. I've never really liked any of the men who have been courting me. None of them were… genuine."

He grunted, still looking unconvinced, but Amelia wasn't finished.

"I kissed you because… I like you."

It was a grand and forward admission.

He deliberately lowered his fork. "And you stopped because deep down, you knew it would be a mistake."

"It wouldn't be!"

He shook his head. "Then you are a fool."

Before she could defend herself or argue anymore, footsteps sounded outside the door and it creaked open, albeit only a few inches. She could see Mr. Fitzgerald peering through the opening.

"My apologies, Boss." He awkwardly pushed his spectacles up the bridge of his nose using only one finger. "I've an important matter to discuss with you. It is imperative."

"Of course. Give me one moment." Mr. Beckworth held up a finger, and his assistant disappeared as quietly as he'd come.

"I am not a fool." Amelia felt it necessary to reassure him of this.

"Perhaps." He glowered across the table. "But neither am I."