13.Positive Reinforcement

13. Positive Reinforcement

“Hey, how are you?” I say when crossing the threshold into Liam’s apartment.

“Oh, just fine and dandy. I’ve been watching TV while you were fighting off a dragon. Come here.”

He hugs me tightly, and I melt into him. He must have been worried. I arrived later than I planned.

After Razor’s attack, I spent a few moments wondering whether I could keep casting. The adjustment to our arrangement lets me cast without Liam while in danger, but the danger had passed.

Deciding to be on the safe side, I called and asked for permission to right the railroad tracks I pried up and fix Toby’s car. Then as I worked, I had to promise Liam numerous times that I was alright and talk him down from rushing over.

A bit tricky trying to cast and calm a frantic boyfr—dominant, so I was tired by the time I finished. I’m still tired, so what the nightbrand says next surprises me.

"I’ve got a big night planned for you, Oliver."

He has classes to teach tomorrow, so I figured anything we did tonight would involve lighter playtime. Apparently, Liam used his nervous energy to plan something while waiting for me to arrive.

"What—" I cut off the question and shake my head. "No, never mind. You won't tell me."

"Yes, I will,” he says. “You used your powers to defend yourself against a damn dragon, just like I asked you to. That requires a celebration. I ordered the finest food and am going to take very good care of you tonight because of how damn proud I am of you."

"Oh, so tonight isn’t sexual."

Liam looks around like there’s someone who might overhear and whispers, "I am planning on giving you a victory blowjob before bed."

"You know what I mean." No ordering me around or ‘playtime’ tonight.

"Tonight is all TLC," he confirms.

Well, I was hesitant about taking control of my powers back early. So hesitant he made it an ‘order’ to use my magic and defend myself against danger. Since I followed orders and escaped a dragon, all while keeping myself and Toby's car in one piece, I guess a celebration isn't the worst way to spend the night.

Liam always dotes on me after a scene. The aftercare, though lovely, is something of a blur. Now there's a whole night of him spoiling me to look forward to and I'm aware enough to savor every second.

He pours us red wine and we eat the decadent food he had delivered to his apartment while we cuddle on his couch and watch a chick-flick.

"How are you feeling?" he asks during a commercial break.

"Weird." Snuggling up on the couch with Liam is nice. However, "I thought I’d feel guilty. I tried to hurt the dragon."

"Who attacked you," he stresses.

"Yeah. It was in self-defense. I really can’t see myself ever using magic against anyone for any other reason than defensively. I’m not even tempted to use my powers… nefariously. If I intentionally cheat or lie, I’ll feel guilty forever. I know that because I can still remember every single time I ever intentionally cheated or lied. I still feel badly about each one.” Even if it doesn't always feel like it, my powers are safe with me. “There is virtually no chance I'm secretly an evil mastermind."

"Were you seriously concerned about that?”

“It crossed my mind. My family being criminals totally blindsided me. What if I can’t see the same flaws in myself? ”

“Then trust me,” Liam says. “You are the least bad person, possibly the least bad person ever.”

That’s a nice thought. It gives me the courage to continue.

"Using my powers without you was strange. It felt awkward and weird." I swirl the remaining wine in my glass and frown. "That's to be expected, I guess, given my strained relationship with my magic. But I hated it. I hated being so disconnected from a fundamental part of me. What if something happens and I'm not ready to defend myself or you?"

"That would unsettle me too." Liam's arm is draped comfortably over my shoulders, and he pulls me towards him and kisses my temple. "Just remember that this isn't a battle you need to fight alone."

We fall silent while we finish the movie, yet I struggle to pay attention to the rest. His support is appreciated, but I’m not sure I like the idea of someone else—of Liam—putting himself in harm’s way when I should be capable of defending myself. Me and my magic need to start playing on the same team again.

Liam pulls me up from the couch when the credits roll, studying me with a small smile on his face. "You’re taking to this better than I expected."

I thought the same thing about him. Liam is pretty irresistible when he's in control. But him being gentle can be just as desirable .

"You think it's a hardship for me to accept cuddling and nice things?" I ask.

"Just a bit. You strike me as more of a glutton for punishment." His grin widens and turns filthy. "Too bad we didn't explore that side more."

I can't say I disagree with him, but that might have been too much for me to handle for my first moon cycle.

"I do need to relax," I admit. "Things at home are tense. My mother and I haven't had a proper conversation about... well, anything. It’s especially unfortunate because we know the dragons are serious now and we need answers about why they are after me.”

"Don't worry about that now. It's time for a bath."

We head into the bathroom, and I lean against the wall as Liam lights some candles. Then he carefully pours oils into the rising water, creating bubbles that rise to the surface. The scent of lavender and chamomile tickles my nose.

My thoughts drift back to my upcoming confrontation with my mother as he draws me a bath.

"Am I a fool for wanting to trust her?"

"Nope," he replies without missing a beat. “She’s your mother. You aren’t doing anything wrong by still loving her.”

"But I had no idea my parents were lying to me before. She could be lying now. "

"You don't really think that," he says as he adjusts the temperature of the water.

He's right. It does seem like she's learned a lesson. She rarely leaves our small apartment and has lost all the constant companions she's had for three decades: magic, my father, and money. My mother seems truly remorseful, following the terms of her probation to the letter and making an effort to reconnect with me. I want to trust that she won't repeat the same mistakes, but…

"What if I'm wrong? Did I even know my parents at all?"

"There are some questions that not even professors can answer."

"Gee, thanks," I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

Our conversation slows as Liam concludes the bath is ready and then switches to getting me ready for the bath. His gentle hands carefully undo the buttons of my shirt. He peels off each layer of my clothing slowly, in no hurry as he caresses all the skin he reveals.

"Alright, let's get you into the bath."

The bubbles have multiplied, covering the surface of the water like a frothy cloud. I sink beneath the bubbles until only my head remains above the surface.

"Are there too many bubbles?" Liam asks.

"Huh?" I respond absently, opening my eyes to take in the sight before me. Only his sandy brown hair is visible where he stands on the other side of the tub, the mound of bubbles between us blocking most of him from view.

"I put in too much soap," he admits sheepishly. "That's my mistake. I take responsibility for that."

He's taking bath time very seriously, trying to make it perfect. It’s absolutely adorable.

"Maybe," I concede with a laugh, "but I think it's perfect."

The warmth of the bathwater envelops me, and the bubbles are fun. I stretch out in the tub and relax, closing my eyes as I let the warm water work its magic.

Liam kneels outside the tub, his arms coming around me as he reaches for the shampoo. I lean back against him, feeling his strong arms bracket me. He starts massaging the shampoo into my hair. His touch is tender, fingers working in small circles across my scalp. As he rinses the suds away, I can't help but sigh in contentment.

"Want to know what I think?" Liam wonders softly.

"Yeah.”

He continues his gentle ministrations as he speaks. "I think your parents showed you the best version of themselves. They didn't want you to know what they were capable of. They probably didn't want you to become them."

"They wanted me to be a metalbrand too and follow in their footsteps," I counter.

"I think they wanted you to carry on the best parts of them. They saw the good in you, just like I do.” Liam moves so I can see him, his blue eyes filled with gentleness. He brushes a damp lock of hair off my forehead. "Everything I’ve seen shows me a kind, caring man who is so afraid by the idea of hurting others that he's willing to sacrifice a part of himself he loves just to prevent the chance he abuses the same forces his family did. If keeping their darkness away from you for as long as possible is even part of what allowed you to become who you are now, then I'd say that's the best thing your parents ever did."

The warmth in his eyes and the glowing way he talks about me is nearly too much to handle. I tip my head back and close my eyes, the water sloshing around me. Liam just moves behind the tub again and starts washing my back.

I struggled with how I could ever be offered a brand. I felt undeserving. Maybe my resolution to not repeat the mistakes of my family is what makes me deserving. I would give magic up if I thought I would abuse my powers. That’s why the magic is safe with me.

I’ve seen the good and bad sides of magic, and I’m determined to use my powers only for good.

And even though I doubt myself from time to time, I don’t doubt Liam. I’d like to live up to the way he sees me.

"You lied to me," I murmur, eyes still closed as I lean back against the tub's edge.

"Oh? "

I open my eyes and give him a small smile. "That's a pretty good answer."

~

Sunlight filters in through the blinds when I wake up in the morning. The bedside clock tells me it's almost one in the afternoon, indicating that I've slept in. A late start is a luxury I rarely allow myself. The only way to improve it would be…

"Are you up yet?" Liam calls as he enters his apartment.

Some company. A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth as he finds me curled up in his bed. "Good afternoon, Oliver."

"Hey," I mumble back, rubbing my eyes and sitting up.

"We need to return Toby's car today," he reminds me, and I nod in agreement.

Toby apparently forgot some assignment or prior commitment in his haste to get to Atlantic City. I’m not sure about the details, but he needs his car immediately when he returns to do whatever he put off while on vacation—while learning at an important symposium.

I slide out of the bed and quickly dress. I drive Toby’s car the short distance over, grateful no portly, glaring man does yardwork in the front lawn this time. Liam follows in his own vehicle so he can drive me back to his place. He’s faster than me when we pull into Toby's driveway, meeting me at the vehicle when I exit to take the keys to the house.

"Toby isn’t back yet. I’m not much of a gentleman, but I’m too much of a gentleman to subject you to Bill." Liam plucks the keys from my hand.

Toby’s parents don’t approve of the kinky ways Liam uses his magic, but I can't help hoping that dropping off the keys will be as simple as sliding them under the mat, avoiding any confrontation with Liam’s estranged family.

Of course, the door swings open abruptly as Liam stands on the front porch. Toby's father, Bill, stands in the doorway, his thinning brown hair disheveled as if he just woke up himself, yet he’s instantly able to switch into judgmental mode.

"Stay away from Toby," he snarls at Liam. "You're a bad influence."

"Bill, I'm just here to return the car.” Liam’s composure doesn’t dampen Bill’s outrage.

“You and your boytoy can’t just drop by whenever you want. This is a family neighborhood.” Liam holds the keys out instead of trying to argue. Bill keeps his arms crossed and glares daggers at his brother-in-law, then spares a hateful glance for me.

"Alright, I’m just going to leave these keys on the porch."

"Don’t act like I’m the bad guy here. I tried to be okay with Toby taking your class, I really did. "

I watch Liam's shoulders clench, "Do you think you deserve a medal for letting my nephew see me?"

“You’re trouble,” Bill spits. “Setting a terrible example. Toby is better off staying far away from you.”

They both turn when they hear me approach the porch. “Liam, why don’t we just go?”

Liam nods and steps off the porch when Bill sneers. “Oh, is that how it works now? You take orders from your little plaything?”

The professor freezes, turning back with a deadly calm and coldness I’ve never seen when we play. “I’m used to your insults, but you don’t even know Oliver. Don’t say another word about him.”

Bill is on the porch and taller than Liam, but there’s no question who has the upper hand. Pissed off Liam is scary, and Bill flinches and barely hides his fear. Does he think Liam is going to turn his powers on the other man? Stupid.

My legitimate concern is that Liam might punch Bill and then we’ll get the police called and it will become a huge mess. Liam doesn’t strike me as particularly violent, but even I’m tempted to punch Bill, and I’ve never even hit an inanimate object with my fists, let alone a real person.

“You need to go.” Bill’s shaky voice sounds hardly louder than a whisper this time. “Don’t come back.”

Sounds like a good plan to me. I place a hand on Liam’s shoulder, and the tension drains from him. He turns to me like Bill doesn’t exist at all and inclines his head towards the car. “Let’s get out of here.”

Liam tosses the keys toward Bill, who fumbles the catch if the clatter of keys is anything to go by.

We’ve already started walking away when the judgmental idiot finds his nerve again, grumbling something loudly enough that I pick up on the highlights. “Coming here… freaks… not safe… bad news.”

The man beside me just keeps on walking. He’s used to turning the other cheek and holding his head high despite his estranged family’s low opinion of him.

I really should keep walking too now that we’re nearly free, but it’s all so unfair.

I turn around and march right back over to Bill. “You have no right to judge anyone. From what I’ve seen, you're the one causing trouble.”

“Oliver,” Liam warns.

“Better listen to your master,” Bill taunts, low enough that Liam doesn't hear.

He doesn't even embarrass me this time; I’m too angry.

"Liam and I have been nothing but polite. Before you lecture anyone about setting a bad example, you should probably ask your son who he thinks is the better role model. Only one of you is a belligerent, intolerant fool who doesn’t treat people with respect. ”

"You can't talk to me like that on my property,” Bill bellows indignantly.

"We’re leaving. But maybe instead of judging Liam’s magic without understanding it, you should practice your own more. Hating his powers won’t make yours any stronger."

I turn on my heel and walk back to the car, not giving that hateful man another second of my time. Liam gets in the car a few moments later. Nobody speaks. We get two blocks away before we pause at a stop sign, and he turns to me.

"Did I overstep?" I wonder nervously, trying not to fidget in my seat.

"My family and I haven't been on good terms for a few years," he explains. "They aren't really bad people, so I try not to make anything worse."

"Oh, I'm sorry–"

"No, you have nothing to apologize for," he insists. " I try not to yell at Bill because it won't do any good. However, watching you stand up to him was incredibly satisfying."

"Really?"

He smiles at me, a genuine smile that reaches his eyes. "Thank you for standing up for me."

"You deserve it," I say earnestly. "I don't know how you can put up with them."

"Well, I don't make a lot of appearances at family gatherings anymore," he confesses. "It's mostly just tension, judgmental stares, and distance. Usually Bill isn't so vocal."

"No? "

"Well, I suppose he is, but instead of yelling he's more the grumbling under his breath, talking behind your back sort." Yeah, I can believe that. "Bill's been on a rampage lately. It's unfortunate they saw us that day – you're the only person they've seen me with since they found out I like BDSM, so I guess he's decided to vent all the disgust that's been building up the past few years at you."

"He doesn't bother me anymore," I assure him. "I don't want to waste my breath being as petty and small-minded as him."

"You know what?” Liam decides. “I think you deserve a reward for putting up with all of that."

"Another night of TLC?" I guess.

He chuckles. "No, this time I was thinking I would show my approval with incredibly kinky, incredibly enthusiastic sex."

Well, who am I to argue with such a wonderful idea?