11.Ups and Downs in the Light of Day

11. Ups and Downs in the Light of Day

Liam is good.

I’ve known that for a while. He’s a natural, capable of being so firm and unyielding one moment and then becoming soft and gentle the next. He’s genuine when he offers to listen to my troubles but doesn’t mind or press me when I decline.

He’s just really good at intimacy and trust and, obviously, sexual situations. He’s really great at… life.

Then I wake up the morning after stringing myself up in metal chains for him and it really strikes me just how good he is.

“Oh my god. Did I really beg and plead for my powers last night? ”

Half of Liam’s face is pressed into his pillow. Amusement lurks in the one eye I can see.

“Yep,” he says. “And if you were so certain last night, your magic must not be so bad, huh?”

My brain wasn’t exactly the body part running the show last night, but I understand his point. I worked for years to get my brand. I never wavered about becoming a wizard. Not until later when my family secrets surfaced. I used to love magic and couldn’t wait to have my full powers.

Last night, it was like that again. I was eager for more magic.

Which means… he’s really, really good.

“We talked about whether I needed control of my powers.” As a precaution in case my dragon hecklers were sticking around. “I didn’t want my powers back. And then you had me begging and screaming for my powers a few hours later.”

“You were also on your knees at the time,” he adds gleefully.

I give him a half-hearted shove and flip over, away from him. “You really don’t fight fair.”

“In my defense, begging plays a large role in many of my plans for you. You’re not done begging. Your powers are just one of the many things I need to hear you beg me for… It’s just a nice piece of timing that I picked last night as the night you’d beg for your powers, and it ended up being the same night dragon assholes dropped by with threats, and we debated whether you should regain control of your powers. ”

I sigh and flip over again to face him. “So, if I begged for my powers last night, would I be a total hypocrite today if I refuse to take them back?”

“No, but I was hoping you might be a bit more open to the idea.”

“I am,” I admit slowly. “It’s smarter to play it safe.” Especially when there are violent dragons in your life. "I just like this better.” I like being in his arms and under his control.

“Alright… would it help if I made it an order?”

The tightness in my chest relaxes instantly at the thought. He won’t make me take my powers back, he won’t go back on the dynamics we agreed on without my consent, but he will ‘make’ it an ‘order’ if that makes it easier to accept.

If our arrangement needs a few tweaks because of an unexpected potential threat, then this is a pretty good compromise.

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

Liam opens his mouth and then frowns, tilting his face up into the sunlight that streams in through the window. “Hold on.”

He tosses the covers over us, hiding us from the sun. The glow of his eyes isn’t as brilliant as usual, but it’s enough to cast a glow over the scant space between us.

“If you’re in danger, then your powers will be available to you. I order you to use your powers to protect yourself, Oliver. If I’m not there to take care of you, then you need to take care of yourself and return to me in one piece. Got it? ”

“Okay.”

Liam leans forward and presses a soft kiss to my lips. So mote it be.

~

The new freedom doesn’t end up bothering me as the days pass. No winged beasts or jerks with fanged earrings pop out from the shadows and put me in danger, so it isn’t any different than the first week. No danger means that I only have my powers when I’m with Liam and he allows it.

I’d like to spend more time with him on a Friday afternoon, but he won’t skip his next class.

"Are you sure your TA can't cover for you?" I ask while watching Liam readjust his tie.

"I need to do some teaching; it is my job. We'll have the whole weekend to ourselves."

He was able to meet for lunch but is already on his way out the door again. While we didn’t do anything heavy the night before, I spent the night on Thursday, and it seems easiest to just stay for the weekend.

The days pass by so fast, and it’s hard to believe that we’ve reached the end of our third week together. We’re already almost done. I'm having so much fun with the professor, I don't like the idea of the finish line and force the thought away .

Surprisingly restless at the prospect of staying inside at Liam's place all day, I take advantage of the nice day and sprawling campus to go for a walk. Primrose University is much more peaceful when everyone else is in class.

"Is that... he looks the same..."

“Disgraced family… Brass, right?”

Okay, obviously some students are out and people watching. I refuse to let shame conquer me this time. My fingers graze the thick strap of my watch, knowing my metalbrand rests underneath. I need a bit of steel in my spine to give me courage.

With a deep breath, I raise my head and stare back at the gossipers head-on, making a few of them jump in surprise as we lock eyes. The seconds pass in what seem like a tense eternity, but the staring contest probably only lasts a few seconds before the group disperses, averting their gazes and moving on.

Well... that wasn't so bad.

I'm thinking about heading back to the apartment when Liam texts to tell me Toby asked for my number, which is fine with me.

Toby either walked to school today or spent the night at someone’s dorm. It’s hard to say because he always looks like he slept in the clothes he wore last night. Either way, we meet near the front of campus and walk to his place as he tells me about his plans for the weekend .

“In a few short hours, I’ll be at a week-long symposium for magical studies,” he tells me eagerly.

"Why do you sound so excited about that?"

Branding isn't an exact science. Learning from others is important but there's no guarantee expert wisdom will grant us our own brands. Practicing magic is fun for novices, but listening to others lecture on magical theories that may not even work for another caster? Students are less receptive to those lessons.

“Welllll, the symposium may or may not be 20 minutes away from Atlantic City. I may or may not already have some free food and drinks vouchers for the best buffet on the casino strip."

Ah, that explains his excitement.

"Have fun," I laugh.

"Good news for you," he says. "I won't be driving, and Liam mentioned you don't have a car, so you can borrow mine while I'm gone."

I stop walking, surprised by his offer . "Uh... that's very generous of you, but I can’t do that.”

"Dude, just agree," he insists. "Having your own ride will make it easier for you and my uncle to see each other."

"Y-yes, that's true." That's another conversational minefield altogether, so I focus on giving him fair warning. "My track record with borrowing cars isn't great. I’ve learned my lesson there."

"I trust you. Liam’s a good judge of character. "

His resemblance to Liam gets clearer every time we meet. It's not only the hair or the eyes, but his kindness and friendly nature that really show his likeness to his uncle. Just when I'm about to thank him and accept the keys, we arrive at his house where his car waits in the driveway.

But that’s not all that waits for us.

“He’s not welcome here!” roars an enraged man in the yard across the street. He’s doing some yard work with a wheelbarrow and mulch, and he drops the handle of the wheelbarrow to raise his fist at me. "Get the hell out of here!"

“Knock it off, Dad!” Toby yells right back.

“I’m serious, that pervert isn’t coming into my home!” Am I imagining things or do his eyes flash red?

Apparently, Toby lives at home. And his father Bill remembers me from our brief meeting.

Note to self: never set foot on this street again.

In our old neighborhood, all the homes were estates. There was ample distance between the mansions and numerous fences separating the estates. Somehow, gossip still traveled fast. With the amount of modest houses crammed together on this block, there must be even less secrets. Everyone knows everything about their neighbors. How many people heard him call me a pervert?

Yep, never setting foot here again.

“Excuse me,” I say. “I need to go far away and never come back. ”

I put my head down and start walking away as fast as possible.

“Hold on, Oliver. Wait for me!” Toby catches up easily. I can’t actually go very fast when not looking where I’m going. “Let’s keep walking and circle the block. Once he’s gone, you can take the car."

"Or maybe this isn't such a good idea."

Are people peeking out at me from behind their blinds? Probably not. I feel self-conscious anyway.

Bill’s judgmental stare was harder to ignore than the gossipers from campus. Unlike anyone who’s heard rumors of my infamous family, Bill is judging me for what I’ve actually done . He may not know the exact details of how I get on my knees and beg to suck off his brother-in-law, but whatever put that look of disgust and fury on his face is much too close to the truth for comfort. When met with his adamant outrage, it’s easy to forget I have no reason to feel guilty.

"Sorry you got dragged into our family drama,” Toby apologizes. “Sorry about my dad.”

"Please, I’d never judge someone for their family." At least felonies aren't attached to the skeletons in his family's closet.

"Really? Not even my parents?" he grins. "They deserve it."

"No, I’m not judging them..." I return his smile, feeling a bit more relaxed with more houses between us and his father. "I'm not disagreeing with you either. "

"Dad will go to work soon." Toby points ahead of us to a simple two-story house with overgrown grass and a driveway packed full of cars. "He does maintenance for a lot of rental properties like this one that students use during the school year."

"Liam mentioned that a lot of your family are casters. Is your dad the exception?"

Toby shakes his head with a grimace. "Nope. Both my parents have magic, but you wouldn't really know by looking at them."

"It's hard to tell Liam is a wizard too," I comment.

"Yeah, but nightbrands are the exception. A bit of stealth and mystery is actually, well, on brand for them."

We reach the end of the street and come to a stop. If we wait here for a few minutes, we can circle back. A man walks his dog across the street, and a few young kids are playing tag in a yard. Nobody is accusing me of being a sexual deviant, so they missed Bill’s performance.

Suddenly I understand nightbrands much better. Some things are better suited to the shadows. That doesn’t make them wrong, just private.

"Look,” Toby says. “My parents aren't the only ones in our family to clutch their pearls and act righteously offended about what Liam does in his private life. It’s all BS, but that’s not what really bothers my parents so much."

"No?” They seemed pretty bothered to me .

“Dad’s powers aren’t strong, and Mom’s aren't strong enough for her to be competitive in the magical job market since she has one of the most popular brands. Neither of them work with their powers."

His mother had green streaks in her hair, and she seems too conservative to have dyed it herself, so she’s an earthbrand. And that explains Bill's red flashing eyes. With him in a tank top while doing yard work, I thought I saw a red tattoo on his forearm too. Must be his firebrand.

"Liam doesn't work with his powers either," Toby says next.

And I instantly defend him. “Why would he? Liam’s gifts aren’t something that any school teaches.” A degree in education was far more useful than magical studies for him.

“Right, Liam went into teaching and doesn’t show off his magic. When he isn’t teaching, he writes about how literature and magic influence each other. Most people wouldn't even guess that he's a wizard just by looking at him. For a long time, I bet my parents thought he was just like them. Getting the brand is their biggest accomplishment but they can’t do much with it. Before he was outed from the kinky closet, they thought Uncle Liam wrote about magic because he was terrible at practicing magic. They were all stuck settling for weak powers.”

Oh. That puts things into perspective .

"Not only did your parents discover the ‘shocking, deviant’ way he uses his magic, they also found out his powers aren't weak at all," I fill in. Liam has a unique, powerful gift that he uses as he pleases with others who feel the same. It’s easy to see how a petty person would get resentful and jealous of Liam "perverting" his powers.

"Exactly. It’s shitty everybody in my family knows. I get why they’d be surprised, but did whoever found out first really have to spread it around? Liam didn’t tell us himself, so they should have gotten over it and kept their damn mouth shut."

"We agree on that,” I grumble.

Toby looks down the street, trying to see if the coast is clear, then he turns to me. "Liam wouldn’t take advantage of anyone, so I know that whatever you’re doing with my uncle is whatever makes you both happy and also none of my business.” He huffs a laugh. “ Okay, if he wasn’t my uncle and you and I were at the swapping sex stories part of our friendship, I’d be curious enough to ask for details. But since he is family and you strike me as the type of person who is never at the swapping sex stories part of our friendship, I think it’s best we never speak of this again.”

I only nod. Seeing how far I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone already by doing this with Liam, one day I could be comfortable talking about sex. But that day isn’t today. Or tomorrow. Or the day after .

“Cool,” Toby says. “Just know I support you and I’m always here to listen if you want to talk about anything other than sex with my uncle.” His sincerity and humor almost make it easy to relax while discussing this outside.

“That’s very reasonable.”

"So relax,” he says. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re just my uncle’s boyfriend and my friend. That’s why you're borrowing my car while I’m gone."

"Thank you," I say quietly, grateful for more than just the car keys he hands over. "Thank you."

Liam's boyfriend and Toby's friend? It makes a pleasurable shiver run up my spine at the thought, but I wouldn't say the first part is completely accurate. And the second part is a new development, but I find myself unable to protest. It feels good to have a friend.