Chapter 35

THIRTY-FIVE

Anders

For the first time in my career, my hockey schedule is frustrating me. There are no weekends between now and Thanksgiving that would work to fly Claudia in, and she can’t take off any days during the week. I thought that first weekend would work out, but we don’t actually get in until late on Friday night from another trip, and leave again Sunday morning, so it would be a lot of flying for her for us to barely spend any time together.

There’s no doubt she was disappointed when I told her, but things will settle down once she’s past her probationary period at work. It would be ridiculous to continue doing the long-distance thing when her job will allow her to work remotely, and I can afford to fly her back to Philly if she needs to be there for meetings and such.

Money is something we probably need to talk about sooner rather than later, but she seemed uncomfortable when I brought it up in relation to buying her plane ticket to come down in December. She almost definitely won’t be happy if I try to buy her a car, so I won’t mention that, but we’ll need to discuss finances if we’re going to continue to move forward in the relationship.

She’s been working crazy hours since I saw her in Philadelphia, often not leaving the office until nine or ten in the evening and going back in by eight. She said she feels like she has something to prove since the other new hires are either more experienced or have more or higher-level degrees than her. I don’t think it’s a competition, but I’m not going to tell her how to feel, so I do my best to be supportive. And frankly, the busier she is, the less she misses me. I hope so anyway. There were a lot of tears at the airport in Philly, which is one of many reasons I want her to move to Fort Lauderdale with me. The plan is to bring it up at Thanksgiving and give her the key to my apartment I made for her.

I already discussed it with Felix, and he said he’s going to start looking for a place of his own. I don’t want to rush him, but he said it was time to think about buying something, and that’s on my mind as well. Our lease goes until July, so I figure that will give Claudia and me time to think about that once we’ve gotten settled. And if it’s too soon, I can always renew for another year.

I’m watching TV in bed, just about to fall asleep when Claudia’s name flashes on the screen of my phone.

“Hey, babe.”

“Hi.” She sounds exhausted.

“You on your way home?” She usually calls me as she’s driving home.

“Yeah.” She yawns into the phone. “Sorry. I’m so tired.”

“You’ve been putting in a lot of hours.”

“Yes, but guess what? I only have one more module of the training program left, and then they’ll start me on the help desk for a week.”

“Then what?”

“The goal is to be done with all the training type stuff by December. Then I can enjoy the holidays and spend time with you.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Also, I have news about Hana.”

“Yeah?”

“They’re flying her in next week for an in-person interview.”

“Oh, that’s great! I didn’t realize things had moved that quickly.”

“I didn’t either. I knew she had a phone interview, but apparently, they did a video interview yesterday and decided to bring her to the US to see if this is a good fit for both them and her.”

My heart sinks, because although I want this for Hana, I’m afraid that it will make Claudia less likely to want to move. The plan was for the two of them to get an apartment together, assuming Hana got the job. I’d forgotten about that, a casual conversation they had back before Claudia had even started her job.

Now it worries me a little.

“When would she start?” I ask cautiously.

“I don’t know. Probably not until after the new year. I don’t think she wants to move right before Christmas. Plus, they’ll have to get the ball rolling on a temporary visa, which will take time. I think that’s why they’re rushing the interview process, because if they want her, it’ll take some work to make it happen.”

I hate myself for being relieved, but that gives me time to convince her to move to Florida. I should mention it, since she’s the type who’s going to want to mull things over, but it’s not the kind of conversation we should have on the phone.

“Sounds complicated,” I say.

“It is. I really hope it works out because she’s so excited about the opportunity. And the job market in technology in Bratislava is abysmal.”

“You’ll have to keep me posted.”

“I will.” She yawns again. “God, I’m so tired. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I love what I’m doing and I’m getting plenty of sleep, but it’s like I can’t keep my eyes open the moment I get home.”

“Your body is probably trying to tell you something.”

“Yeah—that it desperately needs an orgasm.”

I chuckle. “I’ll do my best to rectify that as soon as possible.”

“I know. All right, I’ve just pulled up to the house. I need to eat something and get some sleep. I’ll text you tomorrow.”

“Okay, beautiful. Sweet dreams.”

“Good night.”

I disconnect and stare up at the ceiling.

This situation with Hana might put a kink in my plans.

I know I’m rushing things with Claudia, but is it wrong to want to take things to the next level with a woman I’ve fallen in love with? She’s only three years younger than me, but in some ways, it feels like more. Maybe it would be better for her to live on her own before she moves in with me, to give her a chance to experience some of the things I’ve already been through. Moving from her parents’ house to mine, so to speak, might be a mistake.

Except that’s not what I want.

I know we need to talk about this stuff, but I’m reluctant for so many reasons.

First and foremost, we’re not together, and I’ve always been a firm believer that important conversations should happen in person. I like being able to look in someone’s eyes, to see and feel their emotional response to whatever it is. In Claudia’s case, I can see everything in her eyes, so I feel like it would be ridiculous to have that kind of conversation on the phone.

Second, she’s crazy busy at work. She’s being what I assume is her usual over-achieving self, trying to prove her worth to her new bosses, and probably to her coworkers as well. I don’t want to distract her at a time when she’s got her nose to the grind.

And finally, and this might be the biggest reason—we’re still so damn new. Having never fallen in love this fast, part of me is worried that Claudia’s being swept up in emotions that are new to her, and she needs time to catch up. New job, new boyfriend, new car on the horizon…how do I throw moving into not just a new apartment, but a whole new city and state into the mix?

Just because I’m ready doesn’t mean she is, and my biggest worry is that I’m going to push her away with too much too soon. At the same time, slowing down makes me uncomfortable because our disparate lives make it difficult for us to spend time together. As I get deeper into hockey season, there will be more meetings, special workouts, and more variables than I can count. All of them could mean less time for Claudia, and I want our relationship to be a little more stable before the potential chaos that comes in the second half of the season.

I really need someone to talk to, but I don’t dare say anything to Johan—talking about Hana could get tricky—and most of my single friends don’t have a clue when it comes to relationships.

I could call my mother, but she’ll be too excited that I have a new girlfriend, and I’m not ready for the conversation yet.

Coach Petrov is easy to talk to, but we don’t usually go to him for relationship advice, and in my heart of hearts I already know what I have to do: Tell her how I feel, ask her if she’s ready to take things to the next level, and give her the key I made for her.

The only catch is that I have to do it in person.

Two weeks until Thanksgiving.

That’s when I’m going to take my shot.

Until then, I’m keeping my head down and focusing on hockey.