Chapter 16

SIXTEEN

Claudia

Hana and I normally talk about everything, so I’m surprised when she tells me she’s tired and promptly goes to sleep. I know it’s been hard on her since graduating from college, and she’s both proud and stubborn. She’s let her brother help her financially because they have a genuinely close relationship, but I get the feeling she’s pulling away now that he’s involved with Sloane, and I’m not sure why.

From what I can tell, nothing has changed, but her behavior says something else. It bothers me that she won’t open up, but that, at least, is typical for her. She has to work things out in her head before she’ll ask for advice or even want to talk. I just wish I knew if it had to do with Felix, Aiden, or something else entirely.

I’m up early the next morning, but so is Hana. She’s just getting out of the shower as I’m pulling on the shorts and tank top I’ve chosen for the day.

“That’s a cute outfit,” she says with a soft smile.

“Thanks. What are you wearing?”

“Shorts and a T-shirt. I think that’s pretty standard for South Florida this time of year.”

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” I say after a moment.

She smiles. “Spend as much time with Anders as you want. Really. I’m not going to be upset.”

“But this is our trip,” I whisper guiltily.

“Yes, and we’re together. We’re doing group things, we have our nights and mornings at the hotel. It’s okay for you to meet a cute guy and want to spend time with him.”

“What about you? Are you planning to see Felix or Aiden again?”

“I’m not going to see Aiden again,” she whispers. “He’s too much like every guy who’s ever broken my heart. The bad boy with a motorcycle.” She shudders. “No way. And Felix has to work out what he wants to do with Celine before we can do anything, so I think this trip will be mostly celibate.”

“That’s a shame. Aiden seems fun.”

She rolls her eyes. “Oh, I’m sure he is. Which is why I’m keeping my distance. The writing’s on the wall with that one—one kiss and I’d probably lose my mind over him.”

“Tell me about it.”

“You and Anders got frisky during the fireworks.” Her eyes twinkle with amusement.

“Yeah, yeah.” Why am I embarrassed to talk about sex? It’s always been that way, and I don’t understand it.

“Enjoy yourself and whatever time you have with him,” she says sincerely, squeezing my arm. “Johan says he’s a great guy. Things may or may not go somewhere, but not because he’s a jerk.”

“No, he’s not a jerk,” I admit softly. “He’s sweet and funny and has been incredibly patient with all my sexual neuroses.”

“Maybe he’s the one,” she teases.

“The one what?” I ask, laughing. “The one who can get me off? He is definitely the one for that. Anything else, well, I’m going back to Philly in a few days.”

“There’s this cool new invention I heard about,” she replies. “It’s called a plane? I understand it can get you from Philly to Fort Lauderdale in about two hours.”

I roll my eyes. “Very funny. You know what I mean. We’re not going to start something long-distance.”

“Why not?”

I frown. “Because that’s not…I mean, look at him! You think he’s going to stay faithful to his asexual long-distance girlfriend?”

“Based on what happened at the beach, I’m fairly certain asexual is the wrong term for what you are.”

I flush.

She’s right, of course.

I’m more traumatized than asexual, but a word like asexual makes it easier for me to wrap my head around my lack of interest in sex.

Well, my previous lack of interest.

I’m pretty interested in it when I’m with Anders.

I’m still nervous because my past trauma is always brimming just beneath the surface of my psyche, but he’s made me rethink a few things.

Maybe a lot of things.

But not whether or not I want to see him again.

Because I do.

And he’s picking me up in twenty minutes, so I need to get moving.

We’re taking two cars down to Miami, with Anders and me in his Corvette and Hana riding with Johan and Sloane in Johan’s SUV.

“Don’t think so much,” Hana says lightly.

“I could give you the same advice.”

“I need to be thinking,” she replies in an edgy tone. “My life is kind of a mess. No job, no direction, no relationship, nothing going on. I’m living off my brother—who’s expecting a baby and getting married—and wondering what kind of future I’m going to have in Bratislava. Because there really isn’t much for me there.”

“We’re going to try to get you a job with me, in Philadelphia. But you can probably live here if they let you work remotely.”

“I can’t live with Johan and Sloane!” She seems almost angry.

“Why not? Don’t you like her?”

“What? No. That’s not it.” She looks genuinely startled. “She’s wonderful and I adore her.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“He has a family now. A fiancée. A baby on the way. A house. He’s responsible for so many important things; he can’t be responsible for me too.”

“He sends money to your grandmother, doesn’t he? To your dad? He bought them a new house, right?”

She nods. “Yes, but that’s different. He’s our father. He sacrificed a lot for Johan to get to the NHL. I sacrificed nothing, but he paid for me to go to college in the US. He’s paid for me to do a lot of things. I need to pay for myself.”

“You’re very stubborn, you know that?”

She lifts one shoulder in a wry shrug. “I may have heard this once or twice.”

“Look, I get it. Truly. But at the same time, Johan wouldn’t do it if he didn’t want to.”

“He does it because he feels sorry for me, stuck in our tiny town outside Bratislava. Where there are few good jobs and even fewer good prospects. The only plan most people my age have is finding a way to get into Czechia so they can live and work in Prague.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, wishing there was something I could say or do beyond talking to my bosses about her as soon as I started my new job.

“This isn’t on you,” she says with a faint smile. “Life isn’t always fair, and all I can do is work through my struggles. We all have them.”

“We’ll figure something out. You’ll see.” I hug her tightly.

“You’re the world’s best bestie,” she says, grinning.

“You could marry Aiden to get a visa,” I suggest playfully.

To my surprise, instead of laughing, she nods solemnly. “I’ve considered it, but I don’t want to do something like that with one of Johan’s teammates. That could get complicated.”

“You’re not serious, are you? How is that different than just letting your brother help you?”

“It’s different because it’s something I can do myself. I know it sounds crazy to someone like you, but you’re American. You have no idea what life in Slovakia is like. I have a wonderful family, and yes, there’s food to eat and a place to sleep, but my future is bleak. I’ll have to find a roommate or a husband. We’ll have to scrimp and save to be able to afford for me to stay home if we decide to have a baby. Yes, lots of people do it, but most people in my country are struggling. Healthcare is sub-standard in many ways. We are a depressed, frustrated culture. We’re just too proud to admit it.”

“Is that why you were interested in Felix?” I ask softly. “To get married and get a visa? No judgment, girlfriend. But he’s so not your type.”

“No, not exactly. I just thought someone like him, someone who isn’t my usual type, might be the type to want to marry me.” She sighs. “That makes me a shitty person, right?”

“No. It makes you a frustrated one.”

“Thanks for giving me a pass, but I kind of hate myself for thinking that way.” She shakes her head. “Look, let’s not talk about me anymore. Let’s go enjoy our day. Especially you.”

She nudges me.

I nudge her back, but I can’t help grinning.

Despite worry about my friend, I can’t wait to spend another day with Anders.