Chapter 14

FOURTEEN

Claudia

I don’t know what possessed me to say that, but the words are out there now and I’m all but holding my breath as I wait for Anders to respond.

Instead, he nibbles the side of my neck. “Okay,” he whispers. “We can stay in. Wanna watch TV at your hotel?”

No.

I want him to make me come again, multiple times, without even taking off my clothes.

I’d assumed it would be pleasant if it happened.

I had not been expecting mind-blowing.

Powerful.

The kind of thing that makes me rethink my stance on everything I thought I knew about sex.

How had I never managed an orgasm before? Not even on my own.

I’d tried, but fear and probably a bit of shame had always been in the back of my mind, keeping me from being able to get there.

Anders had managed it without even undressing me, sitting on a towel on the beach with our friends less than ten feet away.

He’s still waiting for an answer, though, so I nod. “Okay.”

We start gathering up our things.

It’s late, and everyone is getting ready to leave.

I watch as Hana puts on Aiden’s helmet and then climbs on the back of his Harley.

I don’t know what she’s doing, but there’s something going on with her. At some point, we’ll have to talk about it, because I’m worried, but not now.

Ten minutes later, Anders and I are in his Corvette heading south to Fort Lauderdale. I’m tired from a day in the sun and the ocean but exhilarated at the same time. Being in Anders’ convertible makes me feel young and free, like I don’t have a care in the world. Which isn’t like me. But it’s not like me to hump a guy’s erection on a beach blanket in public either.

I feel silly, because I know everything about what I’m doing is a bad idea.

I just can’t bring myself to care.

He’s got one hand wrapped around one of mine, there’s a Kelly Clarkson song on the radio, and the wind is whipping through my hair.

I close my eyes and lean back in the seat.

“You tired, sweetheart?” he asks in his soft, deep voice.

“No. Just relaxed. And happy. Which isn’t a common thing for me.”

Saying it out loud makes me realize how pathetic that sounds.

“How come?”

“I don’t know.” I turn to gaze at him, taking in his strong profile and handsome face. “I’ve always been hyper focused on something. School, internships, job hunting. I’ve always had a plan.”

“For what? Your career?”

“Career. Money. Buying a house. All the grown-up things.”

“Grown up things? You’re only twenty-four.”

“I know, but my parents have never had much money, so I just want to be smart with it now that I’m going to start working and making a significant salary.”

“Planning and saving are important but aren’t there things you want to do?” he asks curiously. “Travel? Dance on a bar top? Sing in the rain? I don’t know—flights of fancy.”

I’m thoughtful for a moment. “You have to have money to travel, and I don’t have a good singing voice, so that’s probably not on my list.”

“It’s not about having a good voice,” he says patiently. “It’s about enjoying life. Living in the moment. There’s a lot to be said for spontaneity and adventure.”

“Is that what you do?”

“Sometimes. There’s a time for work and a time for play. And we should all do both.”

“I’m trying. Hana and I did a little in college, but since she left, I’ve had my nose to the grind, focusing on my goals.”

“But you haven’t started your job yet.”

“It’s less than a week away.”

“Then you have just under a week to do all those things you’ve been missing out on.”

I chuckle. “You think that’s enough time?”

“I don’t know. But I think we should try.”

When I look at him, though he’s staring straight ahead, I realize he’s serious.

And I’m suddenly intrigued.

I want to know why this gorgeous, sexy, successful man wants to spend the next week—hell, even the next hour—with me.

“Why me, Anders? There have to be prettier, more interesting, and certainly sexier women than me.”

His sigh is barely perceptible, but I see it. “Why do you have to make things so black and white? My attraction to you has nothing to do with how you compare to other women, or what they have that you don’t. I saw you at the beach and I was drawn to you. I don’t know exactly why, I just was. Does it have to be any more complicated than that? I mean, why are you attracted to me?”

“Because you’re very nice to look at on the outside, and the more I spend time with you, the more I like what’s on the inside.”

“Is it so hard to believe I feel the same way about you?”

“Most guys always take one look at Hana and forget all about me.”

“I’m not most guys and that’s their loss then.”

“You wanted to marry her,” I gently point out. “I know it was a joke, but no one jokes like that about me.”

He sighs again, more audibly this time, as if I’m frustrating him, but it feels important for me to get the rest of my insecurities out in the open. Otherwise, I won’t be able to continue whatever this is we’ve started.

“In this particular case,” he continues patiently. “I was joking because Johan was so chill about it. The first time I said it, I kind of thought he’d get upset, and basically all he said was that who his sister dates is none of his business. He’d only get involved if someone hurt or mistreated her, which I obviously would never do. But he only ever showed me pictures of her . I’d never seen you until the other day at the beach. If I had, I would have been interested because I happen to think you’re beautiful.”

That’s hard to hear. Mostly because I don’t believe it.

Has anyone ever told me I was beautiful before?

Brilliant. Efficient. Hard-working.

Those are the adjectives I’m used to.

This is something else, though.

And coming from Anders, it means everything to me.

“My mother always says I’m terrible about taking compliments, so I guess I should say thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

I’m not sure what else to say at this point.

I like him.

He likes me.

We want to spend time together even though I’m supposed to be hanging out with Hana. She hadn’t hesitated to take off with Aiden tonight, though, and she wouldn’t begrudge me spending time with Anders. Nothing would make her happier than me hooking up with someone.

She worries about me.

And I’m currently worried about her.

But there will be time for us to talk even if I spend a few evenings with Anders.

“I still have to spend time with Hana this week,” I say after a moment. “But I want to spend time with you too.”

“Then we will.”

“Other than the sightseeing we have planned, what do you want to do?”

“I’d like to take you out on a romantic date. Dinner. Maybe dancing. A walk on the beach.”

“That stuff’s right out of the movies.”

“I know.”

“Are you that much of a romantic?”

“I can be.”

“I like it.”

“I hoped you would.”

“What happens after the walk on the beach?” I ask playfully, squeezing his hand.

He returns the pressure, using his thumb to rub little circles into my palm. “Anything you want.”

“Yes, but what would you want? What would you want to do on a date with someone who isn’t me. Someone who didn’t have a very uncooperative hymen that made her scared of sex.”

He chuckles. “You sure you want to know the answer to that?”

“I very much do.”

“I’d want to take her home and teach her how to suck my cock.”