Chapter 26

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

F amily Forever

Ruby

My alarm goes off at seven thirty and I groan. This mattress is shit.

“What is that hellish noise?” Riley says from beside me.

She scares the living shit out of me because I forgot she slept out here too. I barely know the girl so waking up beside her is awkward.

I close the alarm on my phone. “It’s my phone. I need to help Abuela with the cooking.” Even though I am a terrible cook, it’s the bonding time with Abuela and the memories we make that are important to me.

I head over to my suitcase and take out my little travel pouch with my brush, toothpaste and toothbrush, and head over to the bathroom.

On my way I see Macklin by his bedroom door. He’s stretching his arms out and yawning.

“Mornin’,’” I say as I pass him. “Is Hayden awake?”

“No clue. He’s still in the other room,” Macklin says, his face scrunching like he feels bad for sharing that news with me.

“Ew, gross. Can you go wake him? There’s no way I’m going in there,” I state.

He nods and I head into the bathroom. I use the toilet and brush my teeth and hair. When I get out, I see Hayden.

“I can’t believe you,” I tell him.

“Stop being so judgy,” he replies he looks exhausted and pissy.

“Dude, this is Abuela’s house, have some respect. Not just for her but for yourself,” I retort with an attitude that is snarkier than I mean it to be.

“Whatever,” he says, walking past me into the bathroom.

I look over at Macklin. “Go easy on him.”

“Why, he didn’t have a different situation than I had. Our parents left the both of us. Doesn’t mean every person on the planet will behave like them,” I counter.

“Not everyone can be as optimistic as you, Rubes,” he replies.

“Nothing wrong with seeing the positive in the world,” I respond to him.

He walks up to me slowly and dips his head close to my ear. “It’s one of the things I love most about you.”

His soft voice on my sensitized skin causes goosebumps to pebble down my nape, but then he walks away.

I head back to the main room. “Aren’t you cute trying to change your brother’s ways,” Riley says.

I don’t answer her because it isn’t any of her business.

“Was Macklin the same?” she asks.

Her question irritates me. I take a change of clothes and head upstairs, figuring I will change in one of the bathrooms upstairs.

“Aren’t you going to answer? I can find out myself,” she calls after me.

Bitch. She was nice for five seconds last night. I had a feeling she couldn’t be trusted. I guess she needed a place to crash so she was being nice for a bit.

I head upstairs to see Abuela watering the plants in the family room. “Good morning, mija. Did you sleep well?”

“All right,” I say. I don’t want to say that Riley slept on the mattress with me because then I need to share about the little party they had in the next room.

“Good. Ready for cooking?” she asks. Abuela was always a beautiful woman with her long raven hair, cut cheekbones, and plump lips. I always thought it was weird I turned out with light skin and hair, even though my mom was Mexican. Hayden is a little on the darker side but not by much.

“I’m going to change for a second.” I hold up my clothes.

“I’ll wait for you in the kitchen, I’ve already prepped the ingredients.” She winks. I head to the bathroom on the main floor and get dressed in a pair of leggings and a long-sleeve waffle shirt. It’s loose and comfy. I can easily push up the sleeves to help while cooking. Abuela knows Macklin, Hayden, and I are not the best cooks, but it is still always fun to hang in the kitchen and be a part of preparing Christmas dinner.

I leave my pj’s on a chair in the family room and head into the kitchen. “Put me to work,” I say.

“I will make the tortillas,” she says because she always likes to make them from scratch. “You can cut up the chicken and grate the cheese.”

We both get to work.

“How was the rest of your semester?” she asks.

“It was busy, as usual. I didn’t do as well on my exams as I wanted to, but I’ll just have to try harder,” I report as I cut up the whole chicken she left on the counter.

“You’ve always pushed yourself so hard, I’ve always told you that you need to learn how to relax a little,” she counsels me.

“Relaxing isn’t going to give me a secure future. I’m not like Hayden and Macklin with all-star careers in my future,” I remind.

“You said on our last call that Charlie was trying out for Team USA, you could do the same,” she suggests.

“I’ve thought about it, but it would be hard to manage my senior year and the team. Besides, I’m not passionate about running like Charlie is. It’s probably why my stats aren’t as good. I’ll just have to work really hard next semester so my GPA doesn’t tank.”

“That sounds like a solid plan,” Abuela says. “Is Campbell Hall ready for move in when you get back?”

Her question throws me off. I don’t know why. “It will be ready but things have changed. Charlie is now seriously dating Finn Heaton, and she wants to stay in the hockey house. There is no way I am going back to the dorms without her.”

“Have you spoken with Hayden about your living arrangements?” she asks.

“He said the guys are cool with me staying until the end of the year. And we are saving so much money by me living with him. It’s a win-win.”

She begins to fry the tortilla batter on a pan. “You know, Charlie isn’t going to be in school with you next year. You need to learn to get by without her.”

“I know and I plan on moving back into the dorms next year. I still have Briar and Annie at school so I’m not alone, and I’ve become friends with the guys in the house.”

“So you and Mack are good now?” she asks, throwing me off.

She’s referring to the fact that we barely spoke my first two years at Riverside U and it showed when we came home. Macklin barely looked my way and because I was offended, I didn’t pay him any attention.

“We’ve made up since I moved in,” I say with nonchalance.

“I could tell at Thanksgiving,” she returns, and her words seem odd and make my stomach drop.

“What do you mean?” I swallow hard.

“Nothing, just that you seem to be getting along. I’m happy,” she says and the tension inside me eases.

Macklin and Hayden stroll into the kitchen together.

“Good morning,” they say simultaneously.

“I need coffee,” Hayden groans.

Where Macklin looks well-rested, my brother looks like a tired mess.

“There’s a fresh pot over there.” Abuela points. “Let’s get everything cooking and then we can have some breakfast burritos.”

“That sounds amazing,” I say, and Hayden agrees.

“Mack, you can grate the cheese,” Abuela says to him.

“Hayden, you chop the green onion,” she orders.

We all listen to Abuela. She sings in Spanish as we cook, and she asks each of us about our lives. It feels weird to hide the fact that I am in love with Macklin. I’ve always shared everything with Abuela. She knows I was never able to find the right guy to lose my virginity to. She always said that when it was meant to be it would happen, and she was right.

“Well, I’m happy the three of you are living under one roof,” she continues.

“Rubes knows she always has a place by me and that means in Tampa too. You can look for a job out there after graduation,” Hayden suggests. Macklin eyes me, probably wondering where he fits into that picture.

“That’s not a bad idea,” I say to appease my brother.

With all the food cooking in the oven or on the stove, we all sit down for breakfast together.

“This reminds me of old times, even if it is a new house,” Hayden states.

“Kids, there is something I need to tell you. I’ve been keeping a secret for a long time and it’s always been eating away at me, but now that I’m getting older, I keep telling myself what if something happens to me… what if I die and I never tell you guys the truth?” Abuela starts. Macklin is sitting across the table from me and I watch his jaw pulse. We are keeping a secret too, and it’s eating away at him more than it’s eating away at me because I feel like what we have has been our own business. We’ve needed this time without intrusions and opinions from the outside, and I am happy we’ve had the time to explore our feelings.

“What is it, Abuela?” Hayden asks.

Abuela’s lower lip quivers. She looks behind her, maybe to check if there is anyone around. “I asked Mario to take the kids to buy a tree this morning. He couldn’t lift one by himself this year, so we weren’t going to have one since I didn’t want one of those fake things. His son is helping him, and I am assuming the kids are still asleep.”

“This sounds serious,” Macklin says.

“I just don’t want you guys to hate me,” she worries. “I’ve always been so scared of losing you.”

Panic rises inside me.

“Whatever it is, we’ll get through it. That’s what you’ve always said,” Hayden reminds.

Tension crackles between us. It feels almost unbearable. I can’t explain it but I feel like blurting I am in love with Macklin, but this is clearly not the time. It must be my anxiety getting the best of me.

“You’re right,” she says. “My daughter, she was always passionate, determined and strong. When she met your dad you guys were already born. They decided together they weren’t going to tell you. I always told them it wasn’t right but then they split up, and your dad took off, leaving you guys with Carmen. She was in a bad place and left you with me and never came back. Losing Carmen was hard, but I always wanted to believe she was off on some island somewhere living her best life, but the truth is I worry something bad happened to her.” Abuela begins to cry.

I’m in a state of shock.

Hayden looks like he is barely breathing, and Macklin looks like he wants to hug all of us. “Family isn’t defined by blood. I loved you kids from the first day I met you. You needed me to step up and I did,” Abuela explains, then she looks between Hayden and me. “Please say something.”

“I mean, it explains a lot. I always wondered how I could be so blond with Carmen having such dark features,” I say, but I feel a little delirious.

“What you’re telling me is that our birth mom may be out there somewhere?” Hayden asks because he also assumed over the years that something bad happened to our mom, I mean Carmen, and that’s why she never came back for us.

“I think so,” Abuela says. “I don’t know much. Johan never said much about your mom other than she left when Ruby was one. It was too much for her having two small babies and she took off. He was a single dad when he met Carmen. She fell in love with you guys right away. She was your mother in every sense of the word but when Johan took off, she broke. She wasn’t taking care of you guys properly and that’s why she dropped you off with me,” Abuela explains.

Growing up, none of us ever spoke about our parents. It felt like it was a subject that was off limits because it was depressing for us. Now it feels like we didn’t speak about it because there were so many secrets being hidden away and if it came up, the secret would be revealed.

“I feel sick,” I blurt. I get up and run to the bathroom. I barely have time to close the bathroom door when the contents of my breakfast come up.

Hayden is behind me in a flash. “Damn, Rubes. This doesn’t change anything.” He rubs my back.

I take some toilet paper and wipe my mouth.

“How can you say that?” I ask my brother. “It feels like our whole life has been a lie.”

“What’s changed, Rubes? We knew Carmen as our mom and she took off. We held on to that pain, but she wasn’t our mom. Our real mom took off much earlier and our dad was a coward who took off too. The only one who has ever taken care of us is Abuela. She was so scared of telling us the truth because she feared we’d leave her,” Hayden recaps.

“Abuela is the only one who has ever been a parent to us, but she lied,” I retort. It’s then that it hits me. I have been keeping my own secret. Loving Macklin isn’t just about me, it affects the whole family. I can only hope Hayden will be this understanding when the truth comes out.

“She lied to protect us, Rubes. She loves us. She’s done everything for us. I wouldn’t be going to the NHL if it weren’t for her,” Hayden reminds me.

“And I wouldn’t have gone to college if it weren’t for her. I get it. She felt like she was protecting us. We’re all she has,” I relay.

“And she is all we have,” Hayden adds.

“We should walk back into the kitchen and tell her we love her,” I say to my brother.

Hayden hugs me. “We have each other, and we have Mack and Abuela. We’re lucky.”

I laugh through my tears.

“What’s so funny?” Hayden asks, pulling away from me.

“We can still be so positive after all the shit we’ve been through,” I reply to him.

“You know, that’s something Abuela taught us both,” Hayden reminds.

“We really do owe her a lot.”

“Come, let’s go tell her that. I think now more than ever she needs to hear it,” Hayden says.

I follow my brother into the kitchen. There may be some aspects of his life he needs to work on but when it comes to family, he is reliable.

We walk back into the kitchen. Macklin is sitting at the table beside Abuela. It looks like he is consoling her.

“Abuela,” I say, and she turns her head. It hurts my heart to see she’s been crying. “We love you and we are so grateful for you. It doesn’t matter that we aren’t blood related. You will always be our abuela.”

“I feel the same, we love you,” Hayden adds.

Abuela stands from the table and hugs us both. Then Macklin stands and grips us all into one big hug.

“Family forever,” he says.

I just hope that will be true when they find out our family dynamic has changed.