Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

I Need a Full Bouquet

Macklin

I go out for a morning jog and head over to the flower shop. When I get there, they are just opening.

“Hi again,” the lady, who I think is the owner, says to me.

“Hi, I hope you have irises in periwinkle blue because I am going to need a full bouquet,” I say.

“Ah! I’m happy things have worked out. You said you didn’t think they would last time,” she replies.

“Yeah, I had things all wrong,” I admit.

“Well, I’m happy for you.” She grins. “Now how full would you like the bouquet?” she asks.

“Very full,” I tell her.

“I’m also going to need some white roses,” I add.

“Sounds like it’s a special day. Lucky lady.” The woman smiles.

I want to tell her I am the lucky one, but I just smile. She prepares the bouquets, and I feel on edge. I shouldn’t be nervous about today. I’m not a virgin but this is the first time I’m sleeping with someone I love, someone who I feel connected to, and it scares me because what if things don’t work out? What if Hayden doesn’t accept us? What if Abuela doesn’t accept us? The thought makes me nauseous or maybe it’s my anxiety. I push the negative thoughts away as the florist finishes wrapping the bouquets.

“I’m giving you a student discount.” She winks.

“Thanks,” I tell her.

I remind myself this is what Ruby wants. It was always all about her.

I take the bouquets and do a light jog home since I don’t want to ruffle them too much. When I am a few minutes away from the house, Finn messages me that they all left. My heart races a little with anticipation.

When I open the door, I see Ruby on the couch with her laptop in front of her and tears in her eyes.

“What’s wrong, baby?” I immediately go to her.

“I didn’t do so well on my exams,” she says.

I exhale. “I know your marks are important to you.”

“Mack, this is awful. Like I don’t know how I let this happen. No, I do know. I couldn’t stay away from you. I should’ve been studying in the library not hooking up.” Tears begin to stream down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry I was a distraction.” I place the flowers on the coffee table.

“Are those for me?” she hiccups.

“Yeah, baby. I wanted to surprise you. The bouquet of irises is for you, but I planned on placing the rose petals on my bed,” I explain.

Her features soften. “That is so romantic.” She reaches out and touches my cheek. The way she looks at me has me completely undone.

“I’m not sorry about our time together. I’ve never felt this way before, and I feel very consumed by us,” she confesses.

“I understand. I feel the same way. I was low-key freaking out at the flower shop because I love you so much, and I don’t want to screw anything up,” I confess.

“Aren’t we a pair.” She laughs through her tears. “I’m disappointed in myself, but it has nothing to do with you.”

“You’ve always put so much pressure on yourself to succeed,” I say to her.

“I could say the same for you,” she responds with a sad smile.

“Life circumstances made us this way, Ruby. Abuela pushed all of us to succeed so we would have something to fall back on. But you don’t need to worry. A few bad exam marks aren’t the end of the world. I know to you they are, but you can do better next semester. I’ll make sure to let you sleep a little so you can get your work done,” I joke to lighten the mood.

“I know you’re right.” She takes a deep breath. “I’m just feeling overwhelmed. I’ve been waiting for this day, and now that it’s you. . .”

“I get it,” I say to her. “I’m overwhelmed too.”

“You’re overwhelmed?” she asks through a sardonic laugh. “But you have so much experience.”

“It isn’t about the experience, Periwinkle. It’s about how I never had any feelings for those girls, and you mean everything to me. I placed a tattoo over my heart so I would feel close to you when I couldn’t be close to you. What I feel for you scares me.”

“Oh, Mack.” She reaches over and wraps her hands around my neck. “I love you too, so much.”

I hold her tight and bury my head in her hair. I take in the sweet scent of her shampoo.

She pulls away. “So, what is the plan?”

“The plan is I am going to take a shower. Then I am going to make us breakfast, followed by a slow seduction.”

“Not too slow.” She laughs.

“Not too slow,” I agree.

She leans in and pecks my lips. “Thanks for the flowers and your thoughtfulness and just for being you.”

Her words feel jarring because I’ve gone through most of my teenage years feeling like I wasn’t enough. Hell, Leila also made sure I knew I wasn’t enough, but something about Ruby’s words in this moment make me want to believe her. She is so sincere and honest and she wants me. I see it in her eyes, and I feel it in my bones. I hope I can live up to all her expectations because she is the last person I want to disappoint.