Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

C razy For You

Ruby

“Oh shit,” I screech, knowing I must look like I just saw a deer in my headlights.

“Ruby, what is going on?” Charlie asks, her green eyes wide and her tone shock-filled.

“Ah, da. . .” I’m at a loss of words. I’m still tipsy and that warm shower and amazing orgasm has my mind floating in the clouds.

“Periwinkle. . .” Macklin walks out of his room in his boxers, probably because he was expecting me to walk in right after him. “Oh shit,” he mutters when he sees Charlie and Finn. “I can explain. . .”

“Really?” Finn says, looking more curious than anything.

“Okay, look,” I cut in. “Charlie, this is why I wanted to talk to you before, then Aaron threw this party and I didn’t get a chance.”

“How long has this been going on?” Charlie asks, looking hurt.

Finn mutters something about going to his room and leaves, which I appreciate because I am in a towel.

“Can we not do this now? I promise I’ll tell you everything,” I assure. She understandably looks hurt. She confided in me about her secret relationship with Finn, and I didn’t do the same.

“Yeah, okay.” She frowns. “We’ll talk later,” she says quietly, turning to Finn’s room.

“Charlie,” I call out. “I’m sorry, this is very complicated.”

The loud music radiates through the house and the party seems to be going strong downstairs.

Charlie nods and walks into Finn’s room. My stomach turns as I enter Macklin’s room. Tears sting my eyes, and I begin to cry as I close his door and lean against it.

“Oh no, Periwinkle.” He walks up to me and gathers me in his strong arms. He holds me tight. “Please don’t cry.” But I cry against his chest.

“I screwed up, Mack. Finn knows and he could tell Hayden, and your friendship will be all screwed up. I don’t even know why I am crying so hard.”

“Probably because you’re a bit drunk and the alcohol is intensifying your emotions,” he says, sounding soft and sweet. “But I’m not sorry about any of this, Periwinkle.”

I pull my head off his chest and look him in the eyes. “You aren’t?”

“No, I really like you and I cherish what we have here. I know we aren’t going to be together, but you trusting me with something so important to you means a lot to me.”

My chest expands, the same feeling of warmth and comfort I’ve been feeling in his presence returns with a vengeance. “I’m happy it’s you, Mack. I don’t want you backing away from me now. Please say you won’t.”

He cups my face, and his thumb slowly strokes my cheek. “I couldn’t walk away now. I’m in too deep.”

He kisses me with a tenderness that makes my heart beat different. He takes his time and spreads the kisses down my neck before undoing my towel and allowing it to drop to the floor. My breasts press against his chest. Against the tattoo he said means nothing. Being skin to skin with him makes me feel things I can no longer deny.

“I need you, Mack,” I whisper in his mouth.

He breaks the kiss. “Not tonight. We both drank too much and emotions are running high. When it happens, I want it to be special. Something you’ll remember.”

“Okay,” I concede and then he swipes me off my feet and lays me on the bed. I squeal and laugh. “What are you doing?”

“Spread your legs, honey, I’m going to eat you like you’re my last meal,” he declares, leaning on the bed with one knee on the mattress, using his hands in front of him for support. He looks like the best kind of predator. Strong, stealthy, with his steely gray eyes filled with so much heat I am a mess anticipating what he will do next.

I spread my legs.

“Good girl.”

With his fingers he spreads my folds and dips his tongue into my seam. My back arches off the bed. It doesn’t take much for my body to respond to Macklin. He licks me like I am dessert. I moan and moan, not caring who will hear, which I know is wrong.

“I need more,” I cry out.

He pauses.

“Why did you stop?” I ask.

He gives me a crooked grin and shifts off the end of his queen-size mattress to the top of the bed and lies on his back.

“What’s happening?” I ask with confusion. His cock is tenting his boxers and things were just heating up.

“You’re going to ride my face,” he says with all seriousness.

“Are you insane?” I respond with a nervous laugh.

“I’m serious. You’re going to like it,” he assures.

“That’s not a thing,” I say, convinced he’s lost it.

“I promise you it is. Now get that sweet pussy of yours over here and spread your legs over my face,” he demands.

My cheeks heat from the thought, but I trust Macklin and so I do what he says. I straddle him and hold on to the black metal headboard at the top of his bed.

“Good girl,” he praises. Then he is putting his hands on my ass and pulling me down closer to his mouth. “You can ride me, baby. It’s going to feel so good.”

I do as he says, and his tongue licks me from seam to clit. I don’t ride him as he suggested, but as he holds my ass and sucks on my clit all reason leaves me. I begin to ride his face with wanton abandon. I don’t know who I am in this moment, but the pleasure he’s delivering is too much. Too good. I begin to moan.

“Mack, this is so…”

He doesn’t say anything, he just holds me tighter. His tongue works faster and I feel like there is a bomb ready to explode inside me. It’s building so good. My hips thrust along his tongue. I wonder if he can breathe, but he’s urging me on. “Just like that, baby. You taste so sweet.”

I ride his tongue like a fucking cowgirl on a bull.

And then it strikes, the orgasm is intense but from this vantage point I’m in control and I totally lose myself, screaming out as I ride his delectable tongue. The bed is bouncing a little and I worry we are making too much noise, but the music is still blasting downstairs so it must be drowning out my cries of passion.

When I come down, I am panting, out of breath, and floating on cloud nine.

“Holy shit.” I shift off his face and move to lie on my back on the bed. I am staring up at the ceiling in awe.

“It was that good?” Macklin asks, looking pleased with himself.

“It was better than good, it was. . .” I’m speechless.

He laughs. “I wouldn’t know, but it feels as intense as sex I would think.”

“So, have we done everything? I mean except for sex?” I ask.

“I may be able to think of a few more things, but I think you’re ready,” he replies.

“Can it be tomorrow?” I ask.

“Someone is impatient.” He chuckles.

“After that, how could I not be?” I ask him and I take him in. His cock is still tenting his boxers. “What can I do for you, Mack? How can I make you feel good too?” I ask him.

“Let me fuck your tits?” he suggests.

“Today has been a day of lessons.” I laugh. “Would you like that?”

“Very much,” he confirms, his gray eyes turning to storm clouds. “Sit at the edge of the bed.”

His domineering voice gets me wet every time. I squirm as he discards his boxers on the floor. I sit at the edge of the bed with my feet touching the floor. Macklin walks up to me and tweaks my nipples and then he is rubbing them with his thumb. I feel it between my thighs; the ache growing and growing out of control. When he stops, I am disappointed but he takes my breasts in his hands and squeezes them together, and then he is rocking his cock in the crevice between. He closes his eyes and his head tips back as he fucks my breasts. It’s one of the hottest things I’ve ever watched. His abs strain and the look of pure ecstasy has me undone. I help him by holding my breasts together. I lean my head forward and lick his tip. His cock is big enough that he slides it into my mouth and pulls back.

“Fuck, this feels so good. I can’t believe we’re doing this. This is a fantasy come true, Periwinkle.”

His words jar me. I can tell he’s attracted to me and that he likes what’s happening between us. I know he’s been enjoying our make-out sessions in the library, but hearing him voice that I am a fantasy come true does something to my insides. Maybe because I’ve wanted him for so long and knowing he’s thought about it too means maybe this is more than him helping me out with my situation. I obviously can’t jump to conclusions.

“Should I lean back? I want you fucking my mouth like I just did yours,” I suggest to him.

He strokes his cock and takes a deep breath, like he’s trying to make sure he just doesn’t cum from my words.

“Fuck yes,” he crows. I lean back and shift up the bed. Only the angle doesn’t seem right so I lean forward on my stomach and Macklin stays on his knees. His cock slides into my mouth and he groans.

I swirl my tongue over the tip. “I don’t want you to go easy on me. I want you to fuck my mouth like I just did yours.”

“I don’t want to choke you, I’m big,” he replies.

“Don’t argue with me. I want this.”

“If you want me to stop, put up your hand,” he instructs me.

“Is that like our safe word?” I ask with a laugh.

“How do you know about those?” he asks.

“I’ve read Fifty Shades of Grey . The way she describes Christian reminds me of you with the gray eyes,” I tell him.

“I don’t know the story all too well, but I am not laying a finger on you,” he insists.

“I didn’t think you would, and I’m not asking for that. Now stop wasting time,” I urge.

His cock is back in my mouth as his hips thrust forward. I take him to the back of my throat and suck and then when he pulls back, I take a breath and do it over again. My eyes begin to tear a little, but I look up and watch Macklin come completely undone. His pace picks up, and I find myself getting turned on too.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come. Should I pull out?” he asks, his voice gruff.

I shake my head and he lets go. He grunts and stiffens and comes down my throat. He looks lost in ecstasy. His muscles straining. His body covered in a sheen of sweat.

When he pulls out of my mouth, he’s breathing hard and I take a large intake of air. I also use the back of my hand to wipe at my mouth.

He lies back on the bed and pulls me into his arms. Our naked bodies rest above his covers.

“What did you mean when you said this is a fantasy come true? Was it a just in the moment kind of thing?” I ask, feeling vulnerable. My feelings are here to stay. I can’t hide them or tuck them away. I’ve been thinking of Macklin nonstop since he agreed to this little deal. I’m even worried I compromised the end of the semester with not studying enough for finals.

He looks down at me and sighs. “It was the truth, Periwinkle. I’ve wanted you so long that it seems like forever. I don’t deserve you and I need to keep my mouth shut because this arrangement wasn’t about feelings, it was about me helping you. I’ll do better next time.”

His words jar me in a bad way. “Mack, why would you think you don’t deserve me? I’ve wanted you since I was like fourteen,” I blurt. “Don’t you remember the night Abuela had the heart attack? You were there for me. I was a mess and you held me together when Hayden wasn’t there.”

“I remember,” he sighs. “It was a rough few months after that.”

“Do you remember how I wanted you to sleep next to me? How we held hands?” I remind.

“I could never forget that night. I knew, even then, you were too good for me,” he confesses.

I shift up in bed and take his hand in both my palms. I’m naked but his words need to be addressed right away.

“Mack, you’re the best person I know. We’ve laughed together, we’ve cried together. You have always been there for me and Hayden. Why are you talking this way?” I ask, feeling so hurt he feels this way about himself.

He pulls his hand out of my grip and sits up. He stands and slips on his boxers, and then he takes a seat at the edge of the bed with his head hanging low.

“I don’t want to do this. I knew what this was going in. You don’t need to spare my feelings,” he says.

My heart fractures down the center because I don’t understand why he is feeling this way. “Mack, I asked you. I wanted it to be you because no one makes me feel the way you do. When you’re close to me, you don’t even need to touch me and my body responds. I’ve never been this way with any guy. And I trust you. I trust you more than I trust anyone in this world. I know you care too much, and you have my back. I know growing up you were dealt a shitty hand, but you are amazing inside and out. I don’t know when I fell in love with you. But I did. And these last few months, the care you’ve taken with me. The sweet tender touches you’ve shown me. It’s made us grow closer, and I know it’s a problem. . .”

“Periwinkle, there was nothing sweet or tender about what just happened in this bed. I may have been with a lot of girls. But none of them were you. They didn’t matter. But you love me as a good friend.”

I shake my head. “No, Mack, I don’t have very much experience, but I know what my heart wants. I know I couldn’t take guys up on their offers because I wasn’t attracted to them, or I just didn’t connect with them. But the truth is, they weren’t you. The kind of love I have for you may have started with friendship, but today it’s so much more,” I confess as tears stream down my cheeks.

His finger swipes at my cheeks. “I never want to make you cry, but I’m broken. I want to believe your words. I told myself I could handle this arrangement because you needed me. I can’t say no to you, but my heart has been on the line from the start. I love you so much, Periwinkle. I lied to you about the tattoo. I got it because of you. Because you were always in my heart and I knew I couldn’t have you, but I wanted you close anyway.”

“Mack.” I kiss him softly. “I love you,” I say against his lips. “I love you,” I repeat. “I love you. I’ll say it as often as I have to because I can’t imagine being with anyone but you.”

“You don’t know what your words are doing to me,” he says, and his eyes are filled with tears that don’t fall. In all the years I have never seen Macklin cry. “Your brother won’t accept us.”

“He will,” I assure him. “He has to understand.”

“He won’t, and he’ll want to beat my ass because tomorrow I am going to take your virginity, and I am not going to feel bad about it.”

I break into laughter. “Hallelujah,” I chant.

“You’re crazy.” He laughs, shaking his head.

“Crazy for you,” I tell him.

“I’m crazy for you too, Periwinkle.” He kisses me. “We should get dressed and head downstairs. It sounds like the party has fizzled out and we’ve been up here for hours.”

“You’re right.” I sigh. “Although I like being in the bubble of your room.”

“I like having you here.”

Macklin puts the clothes he was wearing before and I slip on the fresh panties and bra I brought up with me before the shower. Then I put on the cropped tank top and my jogging pants . My hair is a complete mess so I brush my fingers through it and put it up in a loose bun.

We head downstairs to see that a lot of the guests have left.

“Where have you two been?” Aaron asks. He is so drunk he falls over a second later. Luckily the couch was there to break his fall. He stays horizontal on the couch. Macklin and I don’t answer him and he seems to have lost interest. Hopefully, he forgets seeing us together.

Finn and Charlie have started cleaning up. My best friend doesn’t look my way.

The other guys from the team are gone and there are still a few girls hanging out on the couch where Aaron is half passed out.

“Time to head home,” Macklin says, kicking them out. They sigh but they get up and leave.

With everyone gone and Aaron passed out on the couch, I look over at Charlie.

“Can I talk to you in the kitchen?” I ask her.

She nods.

I follow her. I just hope I can repair the damage I’ve done to our friendship.