Prologue

PROLOGUE

M acklin

Seven years ago

It was a hot summer night. I had come home from my job as a gardener’s helper. At fourteen, finding a job was tough but there was a guy in the neighborhood willing to pay cash and minimum wage, so I spent the summer mowing yards and doing all kinds of landscaping work. After a hard day, I liked to come home to a nice warm shower since it was sticky outside, but it sucked having to face my foster mother sitting on the couch where she’d been all day, eating peanuts. She was unpleasant, cold, and irritable. Add to it, she liked to remind me she had been using me for the paycheck she received bi-monthly. I was not wanted, only needed for her survival.

“Oh, you’re home?” she muttered as I came through the door. She didn’t even look my way. She wasn’t maternal or affectionate, but I had a roof over my head and food to eat. It wasn’t the best diet, but I wasn’t hungry either. My parents died in a car accident when I was ten. Since there were no family members to claim me, I fell into the system. At age ten my survival skills kicked in. I was passed around from foster home to foster home until I landed here three years ago. At the ripe age of eleven, I knew not to be picky. I had to behave and make myself almost invisible because my foster mom, Leila Dolores Trout, did not like children. She made that clear off the bat when she had me cleaning every inch of our apartment the first day I arrived to live with her. My best friend, Hayden Foxx, and his sister, Ruby, got me through my shitstorm of a life. They lived with their grandmother across the hall. Abuela was the second best thing to happen to me, outside of Hayden. The woman always made sure to invite me to meals and she let me hang out at her place as much as I wanted. Leila didn’t care as long as I kept the apartment clean.

It was after my shower and I wanted to just lie down and chill when I heard my foster mom’s raspy voice. “Mack, you want to grab me a beer from the fridge?”

Once she sat on that couch in the morning, she didn’t like to get up. She tried to have the coffee table in front of her stocked for the day, but beer wasn’t an item she liked to leave on the table since they were better served cold.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed a cold beer from our almost empty fridge. Since I started working this summer, she started buying fewer and fewer groceries. She didn’t voice it, but she made it seem like she wanted me to pitch in when she asked me to grab milk from the convenience store without giving me money to pay.

“Here.” I passed it to her and walked away. She wasn’t going to say thank you or crack a smile. I was pretty sure she’d been sitting in that one seat on the couch so long it had an indent the shape of her ugly ass.

I heard a scream.

“Did you hear that?” I asked Leila.

“Hush, would you?” she replied, fixated on her old television screen where some soap opera was playing.

Another scream.

I knew that voice.

I wasn’t wearing a shirt, but I dashed across the hall. Hayden was out of town on some Boy Scout trip his abuela paid for, and Ruby was home alone without him. Hayden was very protective of Ruby and for good reason. She was the kind of beauty who seemed surreal with honey-blond hair and perfect round blue eyes. Don’t even get me started on her smile. I may have had a crush on Ruby since the day I moved in, but I obviously didn’t let it show. Hayden was only one year older than us, but he protected her like she was his life, and in a way she was. Ruby was his only living relative outside of Abuela. Since he was my best friend, I promised him I’d always look out for Ruby’s well-being and that is exactly what I did.

Now I was banging on the door of 2C with no shoes or shirt on.

Ruby swung the door open. Her eyes red and tears streaming down her face.

“She went down,” is all she could say. I looked past her and saw Abuela lying on the floor unconscious.

“Did you call 911?” I asked, feeling the adrenaline spiking my veins.

I dropped to the floor, placing my ear by Abuela’s chest, watching her chest, and listening for her breath.

When I saw her chest moving, a sense of relief washed over me, but I knew the danger wasn’t over.

I heard the paramedics coming down the hall and I ran out to them. “She’s in here,” I called.

There were two large men and a lady. They had a gurney with them and one of them carried a large black bag. I pulled Ruby away to give them space. I held her close as the paramedics got to work. One paramedic placed her on her back while another attached small stickers to her chest.

“Can you tell us what happened?” the male paramedic asked.

Ruby explained how Abuela had come home from the hair salon where she worked and they had dinner together, but Abuela seemed tired and complained of chest pain and nausea. She stood up and said her chest was hurting her. She fell forward and Ruby caught her, but she wasn’t strong enough to hold her and slowly placed her on the ground where she passed out.

The paramedics had Abuela hooked up to a machine and they were using a lot of words we didn’t understand.

“Is she going to be okay?” I asked because Ruby was so terrified it seemed like she was frozen.

“Looks like she’s had a heart attack,” is all the female paramedic said.

I heard Ruby’s sharp intake of breath from beside me. Those words had sucked the air out of my own lungs.

“Is there another adult here?” the male paramedic asked.

“No, only my brother. He’s a year older but he is out of town,” Ruby said, her voice shaky.

“Only one of you can ride with us,” he said.

Ruby looked at me like I was a life preserver, but I felt helpless.

“You’re strong, Ruby. Abuela needs you now. Go with them to the hospital and I’ll take the bus and meet you there,” I assured her.

Her lower lip quivered as she stared into my eyes. “Okay,” she croaked.

I nodded. Ruby slipped on her flip-flops at the front door. She was wearing a tank top and shorts, and her long hair was wet down her back. She had spent the summer working at a backyard camp as a counselor for small children.

I watched them leave and ran back to my apartment. Leila was still in the same spot shoving peanuts in her mouth and drinking beer while watching television. Watching her made it seem like time always stood still but time was ticking by and Abuela’s health was on the line. I went to my room and slipped on a T-shirt and socks. I put on my sneakers and grabbed my cell phone, which I was lucky to buy this summer with the money I made.

As I was reaching for the door, Leila squealed, “Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

“To the hospital. Abuela had a heart attack,” I said. I watched Leila about to protest and walked out the door anyway. I heard her cussing as I walked toward the elevator. I didn’t give a shit. Ruby and Hayden were my ride or die. But her words carried down the hall as she screamed Y ou ain’t good enough for her. Sad part was, she was probably right. Ruby was the whole package: smart, beautiful, and caring. It didn’t matter because she would never be mine.

I found Ruby crying on a chair in the waiting room at the hospital. She was hugging herself and rocking back and forth. I reached into my pocket because I felt nervous and had nothing better to do with my hands. I pulled out the crumpled flower I had found today when we were planting a garden for a client.

“Periwinkle,” I mumbled.

She picked up her head. “What?”

I felt stupid thinking what I was thinking, but it didn’t stop me from talking. “Planted these flowers today for a client. They’re called Periwinkle Blue Iris. It reminded me of your eyes.” The second I said those last three words, I instantly regretted them. It was TMI and Ruby didn’t need to know I was thinking of her eyes.

I passed her the crumpled flower. “Sorry.”

“It’s so pretty,” she said, her eyes filled with tears. She gave me a smile despite her sadness. “Periwinkle.” She sniffed the crumpled flower. “Thanks, Mack.”

“Don’t thank me,” I replied.

“I can’t lose her.” Her lip quivered, and my attempt to distract her from the reality of the present passed.

“We aren’t losing her, Rubes. She’s the strongest woman I know,” I assured, but what did I know? At fourteen, this was all very scary. I was terrified of Hayden and Ruby ending up in the system like me, and not having them across the hall would kill me.

Ruby went up to the nurses’ station to check in on her grandma. Hayden and Ruby both had cell phones, so I assumed Ruby called him to let him know we were at the hospital.

I waited hours sitting by her side. I bought her hot cocoa, which she didn’t drink because she was too nervous.

When the doctor finally came to speak to us, he said Abuela had a mild heart attack. They were keeping her overnight for observation, and Ruby was to find a place to stay with a friend or family. Ruby had friends but I knew she wasn’t going to stay with them.

I took her by the hand because she was spacey, and we got on the bus back to our apartment. We had forgotten to lock the door, so I walked in with her to make sure everything was okay because it was the type of neighborhood that saw a lot of robberies.

“I don’t want to be alone, Mack. I’m scared,” she admitted.

“I’ll stay with you,” I offered. Leila was probably too drunk to notice me gone or she was passed out on the couch by now.

I entered the apartment. Ruby started to clean up the remnants of dinner.

“It happened right after dinner,” she said. “It was so scary, Mack.”

“You did the right thing calling 911. You probably saved her life,” I told her.

She inhaled a deep breath, but she looked tired and stressed.

“Were you able to get a hold of Hayden?” I finally asked.

She shook her head. “His phone must be dead. They didn’t have any reception or way of charging their phones. He’s going to be so devastated.”

“She’s going to be okay. You heard what the doctor said.”

She pinched her lips like she didn’t trust the doctor’s words, then she nodded and went to her room. I’d never seen her crushed like this before.

After fifteen minutes, she returned wearing a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. They looked like pajamas, and her golden hair was brushed. It looked so soft and shiny, I wanted to reach out and touch her.

“I don’t think I can sleep. Can you come lie down with me?” she asked so innocently.

I took a big gulp of saliva. I could smell the sweet scent of her body wash from here. This was going to be brutal.

“Sure, Periwinkle,” I said and that bought me a crooked grin from her, but it was better than the drowning sadness seeping from her. I followed her to her room. Ruby got into her double bed. Her room was simple but nice. Abuela got them whatever furniture she could afford, and Ruby’s room was a girlie room with a pink floral comforter and pink throw pillows. Ruby pulled the blanket up to her chin, and I lay on the bed beside her, over the blanket. I needed space from her. I didn’t know if she was aware of my body the way I was aware of hers, but I would never find out. She was forbidden fruit.

“I like that name,” she said.

I smiled and sighed into the darkness. I was a goner for her.

“What if she dies?” Ruby muttered, her words floating in the dark room.

“She isn’t going to die,” I whispered back. “She’s going to be okay. She has to.” It wasn’t a lie. I loved that woman and without her we were all screwed.

Ruby yawned and I yawned too.

“Thanks for being here with me,” she said.

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” I answered, and it was the truth. Hayden was my best friend and Ruby was. . .special to me. I wanted to kiss her like it was nobody’s business.

She sighed and curled into my side. “Can I hold your hand, Mack?”

She was trying to kill me. “Of course.” I held her hand.

“You’re so warm and strong.”

“I think you need a bookcase for all your books,” I observed because this situation was torture, and I was feeling awkward. I had nothing better to say.

She laughed. It was a small laugh, but it was something. “I’m saving up for one.”

“I’m going to build you one,” I said to her.

Another laugh. “How?”

“The gardening company also builds fences. We always have some leftover material. I will save up enough wood and make you a bookshelf,” I promised.

“That’s very sweet of you.” She giggled.

I wasn’t feeling sweet. I was a horny teenager who wanted her, but I also cared deeply for her too. I would never do anything to hurt her. I only wanted her smiles.

“Try to sleep, sweet Periwinkle.”

Ruby’s breath evened out and her slow breaths made me feel sleepy. I woke with a startle when I heard the front door of the apartment open. It was Hayden, and I didn’t think he’d appreciate catching me in bed with his sister.

I quickly got up and left her room. I walked into the main room as he put his duffel bag down.

“What are you doing here, bro?” he asked with worry because I was never here this time of night.

“How was your trip?” I asked because suddenly the words seemed too difficult to say.

“The bus broke down. We were supposed to be back hours ago. But it was a good week,” he said, but I could tell he was waiting for my explanation.

I explained what happened and he broke down in tears. I had never seen my best friend cry until that day. I assured him the doctors thought she would be okay, and he thanked me for taking care of Ruby.

“Would you mind if I crashed on your couch?” I asked him. “Leila probably put the chain on the door this time of night. I don’t really want to sleep in the hall.”

“Let me get you some blankets and pillows,” he offered. He went to his bedroom and gave me the blanket off his bed.

“Bro, you’re going to be cold,” I said to him.

“I got the sheets. It’s fine,” he assured.

Hayden had my back. I would never do anything to screw it up because people like him were hard to come by. Even at the ripe age of fourteen, I had already learned that lesson.