Chapter 16

JAX

Look, you can't blame a guy for at least trying… right?

I pick up the beer bottle and place it against my lips.

I take my time with the sip as I stare out my window.

Behind me I hear a soft moan.

I look over my shoulder.

Ashley.

She stirs in my bed and picks up her head.

Her eyes open. "Hey. Where am I?"

"You're in my dorm," I say.

"Oh. Wow. I think I went too far tonight."

"You were trying to strip."

She quickly sits up. "I did what?"

"You were on a table taking your clothes off. People were throwing money at you. I gave you a twenty to jump into my arms to save you."

"I didn't… go too far…?"

"No."

She looks around. "Wait. I know who you are. Jax."

"And you're Ashley."

She smacks her forehead and shakes her head. "It's Angela."

"You told me Ashley."

"I know. That's my alias."

"You're what?"

"It's a joke I have with my friends. When I drink too much. Instead of Angela I'm Ashley."

"And what's the difference between the two?" I ask.

"Angela would be studying for a chem test," she says. "Ashley ends up in a hockey player's bed."

"If it makes you feel any better, nothing happened between us."

"What? Really?"

I nod. "The moment came and went when you passed out. You really were gone. Not a good thing."

"I didn't take you for that kind of guy…"

"Oh?"

"Never mind. I don't feel good. The room is spinning."

"Just crash in my bed, honey. We'll deal with the rest of this tomorrow."

"Where are you going to sleep?"

"We can't cuddle?"

"Angela says no."

"What does Ashley say?"

"Ashley is quitting drinking forever," she says, burying her face into her hands.

Wow. Can you believe this? I try to chase away the lingering thoughts of Mila and this is what I end up with? First, I try to hook up with Willow and suddenly I can't make a move? I'm thinking of Willow like a sister or something? What the hell? And now this? I go to a party on my own, knowing exactly what I want. And I find a girl who has two personalities…

"Just crash," I say to her. "I'll sleep out on the couch. It's fine."

I stand up and grab my beer bottle.

As I pass by the bed, a hand grabs my wrist.

I look down.

She's looking up at me… biting her bottom lip…

"What is this?" I whisper.

"Ashley wants to fool around."

Now, let's get one thing straight here. This kind of crazy shit is my kind of thing.

So why the fuck am I reaching down, pulling Ashley-slash-Angela's hand away?

Why am I telling her to just go to sleep…?

I end up on the couch, just like I said.

I can't sleep.

I sit for a good thirty minutes in total darkness.

It gets to the point where I actually find myself going back to my room to see if Ashley is still in the mood.

What do I find?

I find Angela sound asleep. On her side. Looking cute and innocent. She's even drooling on my pillow.

So back to the couch I go.

I plop down and debate what to do next.

It wouldn't be the worst thing to try and check on Willow.

I sit there holding my phone in my hand, shaking it each time the screen turns off.

Willow… Willow… Mila…

What is it about Mila…

That's when an idea hits me.

The kind of idea that only I can pull off.

I inch my ass to the edge of the couch and my thumbs are fast at work.

I start looking up certain words and phrases and then…

"Boom," I whisper. "There it is."

To anyone watching me right now this is nothing.

To me… oh, man, this is…

Okay, it's not really that big of a deal.

The truth is that it's everything added up into one.

Not sleeping with Willow.

Not sleeping with Ashley-slash-Angela.

It's all that kind of thing mixed up together.

And now…

"Make my own fate and see how the lies of confidence feel," I whisper.

I smile.

I grab my phone.

Yeah, it's time to have a little fun here.