11. Ten

I blinked awake in a bed that wasn’t mine, the unfamiliar comfort of clean sheets and soft pillows a stark reminder. My head throbbed, and it took a second for last night to drift back. Shepherd. His apartment. Right.

I sat up slowly, looking around the bedroom. Sunlight streamed in from the big window, making me squint. The events of the previous night were still a bit of a blur, but I remembered Shepherd taking me in, food, some borrowed clothes.

God, he wanted me to move in. The thought stirred up something dark and tangled inside me.

I looked around the room with a sigh. The room was painfully nice. Nicer than anywhere I’d stayed in longer than I could remember. Crisp white sheets, polished wooden furniture, soft art on the walls—it was like I’d stumbled into someone else’s life.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed, bare feet hitting the plush carpet. My shoes were lined up neatly by the door, laces tucked in. A pang of gratitude mixed with the vulnerability swirling in my stomach. Shepherd had taken care of me, even though I barely knew him.

And last night…

Last night he’d let me take care of him, too.

I thought back to last night, standing at the sink washing dishes while Shepherd and Gavin chatted in Shepherd’s office. The warm, sudsy water on my hands had felt good. Right. It was more than doing something useful for once, although that was part of it. I was so fucking tired of feeling like this waste of space all the time. Standing at that sink, suds slipping between my fingers as I washed each dish, I felt… solid, maybe even worthy. Like someone who wasn’t just taking up space.

It was a dangerous feeling. I couldn't afford to get used to it. To start needing it. Needing him. I'd learned the hard way never to need anyone.

But God, I wanted to feel that way again. That satisfaction of being useful to someone, of pleasing them. Shepherd had seemed so content with me quietly doing my work. He'd praised me, told me I'd done a good job. And it had lit me up inside in a way I'd never felt before.

I craved that feeling more than I'd ever craved a hit. More than I craved my next meal. What the hell was wrong with me? I couldn't let myself start depending on some rich guy I barely knew.

I pushed myself up off the bed, trying to shake off the lingering thoughts of last night. I couldn't sit here all day overthinking shit. Time to face reality.

I padded over to the door and pulled it open. The hallway was quiet, morning light slanting across the hardwood floor.

I made my way down the hall, the wood creaking softly under my bare feet. As I reached the living room, I turned towards the kitchen, half expecting to see Shepherd making breakfast.

I stopped dead as soon as I stepped into the kitchen. This wasn’t the Shepherd from last night. The air around him had shifted, charged, as if I’d wandered into a room with a live wire.

His eyes hit me first. Last night, they’d been warm and steady, but now they were piercing, focused in a way that pinned me in place. There was a cold sharpness there that sent a prickle of fear crawling over my skin.

My eyes flicked over the rest of him. He stood taller, his shoulders squared, posture almost predatory. The air around him seemed to crackle with a dark, coiled energy. Everything about the way he held himself screamed danger.

He was watching me, a slight smile playing at the corners of his mouth, but there was no warmth to it. I got the distinct feeling I was being sized up, like a wolf deciding if I was prey or a threat.

My heart rate kicked up as the man approached me, each step slow and deliberate. I backed away on instinct until I hit the wall. Fuck. I glanced towards the door, but he was blocking the way out of the kitchen.

“Shepherd?” I asked hesitantly, hating the way my voice came out all weak and thready.

The man tilted his head, studying me with those cold, assessing eyes. “No, little rabbit,” he said, his voice a low rasp that scraped down my spine. “Shepherd's gone.”

Shit. This had to be one of those alters Shepherd mentioned, but I didn’t know their names and I didn’t know how I was supposed to interact with them.

My mouth went dry as he stalked closer, until he was inches away, one hand braced on the wall next to my head. Standing this close, his presence was overwhelming. His scent was dark, almost feral, filling the air between us, and the warmth radiating off him seemed to seep into my skin.

“Call me Keres,” he said, his voice a low rumble in his chest.

I nodded jerkily, not trusting myself to speak. Keres. The name suited him, harsh and primal.

His dark eyes bored into mine, searching, probing. I felt flayed open beneath that penetrating gaze, like he could see straight into the darkest corners of my soul. A shiver slipped down my spine, and the way his eyes darkened told me he noticed.

Keres’s mouth curved, slow and hungry, the hint of a predator eyeing prey. He leaned in even closer until his lips brushed the shell of my ear as he spoke. “Do I frighten you, little rabbit?”

I shook my head, not sure if I was denying the fear or simply trying to clear the haze of sensation clouding my mind. Every inch of space between us felt electric, my senses caught on the places where we nearly touched.

I swallowed hard, my mouth dry as I watched Keres's nostrils flare. He was... scenting me? What the actual fuck. But I couldn't deny the way my body reacted, arousal spiking through me despite the fear pounding in my veins.

Keres made a low, approving noise in his throat and leaned in even closer. I shuddered as he nuzzled into the crook of my neck and inhaled deeply, his stubble scraping my sensitive skin.

God, what was happening to me? I'd woken up in a strange house with an alter of the man who took me in, and now he had me pinned to the wall, sniffing me like he wanted to devour me.

I should be fucking terrified. I was on some level. But there was something else simmering under the fear. Something hot and needy that sent blood rushing south to my cock. The raw masculinity rolling off Keres in waves was doing things to me, making me ache in a way I never had before.

Keres pulled back far enough to look at me, his dark eyes burning into mine. Whatever he saw on my face made him rumble low in his chest.

He leaned in close again, his breath hot against my neck. Inhaled deeply, taking in my scent. Then he rubbed his cheek against mine, the rasp of his stubble sending sparks skittering across my nerve endings.

“You smell so fucking good,” he murmured, voice low and rough with arousal. “Like mine.”

A full-body shudder ripped through me at his words. He thought I was his? I didn't even know him, this alter of Shepherd's. But my cock clearly didn't give a shit. It stiffened in my borrowed sweats, straining toward his big, hard body, pinning me to the wall.

Keres shifted, pressing a muscled thigh between my legs. I couldn't bite back the moan that escaped when he nudged against my erection.

“Are you so eager to be claimed, little rabbit?” His voice was a dark purr in my ear, satisfied and filthy.

My face flushed hot with humiliation. I turned my head away, but that just exposed my throat to him. Keres made an approving noise and buried his face in the crook of my neck again, mouthing at the sensitive skin.

Keres's teeth scraped over my racing pulse and I couldn't hold back a whimper. My hips bucked forward on instinct, seeking friction, and I rutted shamelessly against the hard muscle of his thigh.

“Oh God,” I choked out, so turned on it hurt. My cock was harder than it had ever been, leaking steadily into my sweats. The damp patch was spreading, but I was too far gone to care.

Keres made a low, approving noise against my throat. “That's it,” he murmured, the vibration of his voice making me shudder. “Take what you need.”

Maybe what I needed had nothing to do with the god I’d cried out for at all. Maybe what I needed was to get a little of the devil inside me.

His hand slid down my side to grip my hip, holding me steady as he pushed his thigh more firmly against my aching cock. I ground against him shamelessly, too desperate for relief to hold anything back.

Keres's mouth was hot and merciless on my neck, sucking what I knew would be a vivid bruise into my skin. Marking me. Claiming me, like he'd said. A thrill shot through me at the thought and my cock jerked, spurting more pre-cum.

I fisted my hands in his shirt, anchoring myself as I rode his thigh. I was already so close, pleasure coiling tight at the base of my spine. All rational thought had deserted me. My world narrowed down to the places we touched, the heat of his skin against mine.

Distantly, it registered that I was dry humping someone I didn't even know. A stranger, essentially. But the thought was hazy, drowned out by the overwhelming need pulsing through my veins. This was no different from hooking up with a random guy from an app, right? Two people using each other to get off. At least that's what I told myself as I rutted desperately against Keres's hard thigh.

I didn't want to think too hard about what I was doing or why. I needed this—needed him to keep touching me, to keep giving me this sweet friction. My brain was nothing but white noise and static anyway, all rational thought drowned out by the roaring of my pulse in my ears.

Keres's hands gripped my hips hard, fingers digging in almost painfully as he held me against his thigh. I couldn't stop grinding on him, my body moving on autopilot, chasing the pleasure sparking up my spine with each thrust.

“Fuck, fuck,” I panted, my voice high and thready to my own ears. Sweat beaded on my skin as I worked myself frantically against him.

“Keep going,” Keres growled.

His voice was pure gravel, dark and rasping and so fucking hot I could hardly stand it. I whined low in my throat, hips snapping faster, my leaking cock sliding against his hard thigh through my sweats. The damp cotton clung to me, letting me feel every flex of his muscles.

Keres's chest was vibrating against mine, a continuous deep rumble almost like a purr as he mouthed at my neck. He licked over the bruise he'd left, making me shudder, before trailing his lips up to my jaw. I tipped my head back against the wall, drunk on sensation, silently begging him for more.

He obliged me, stubble scraping deliciously as he nipped and sucked his way to my ear. I felt the sharp edge of teeth against the lobe and then his hot, wet tongue soothing the sting. A strangled moan punched out of me.

The deep, primal sound of Keres's growl against my neck sent shivers racing down my spine, my skin prickling with goosebumps. I could feel the vibrations of it where his mouth was latched onto my throat, teeth and tongue and lips marking me, claiming me. Branding me as his.

My hips were moving mindlessly now, grinding and rutting against the hard muscle of his thigh. The damp patch on my sweats had spread, the fabric clinging obscenely to my straining erection. I knew Keres could feel how hard I was, how desperately I was leaking for him. Fuck, he could probably smell my arousal, the musky, heady scent of it filling the space between us. The thought made me dizzy, my cock throbbing urgently.

Keres's hands on my hips tightened to the point of pain, fingertips digging in hard enough to bruise. He used his grip to guide my frantic movements, setting a ruthless pace as he worked me against his thigh. The rough treatment only turned me on more, my body responding to his dominance on an instinctual level.

I could feel my orgasm building, the pressure at the base of my spine coiling tighter and tighter with each grind of my hips. My thighs were trembling, muscles burning with the effort of chasing my pleasure. Keres's harsh breaths mingled with my increasingly desperate pants, the obscene wet sound of my cock rutting against his thigh seeming to echo in the quiet kitchen.

“Please,” I heard myself whimper, not even knowing what I was begging for. More friction, more of his teeth on my neck, more of the filthy words he was growling into my skin - I'd take anything he'd give me.

Keres's rumbling growl took on a note of dark satisfaction. Keres's hand slid from my hip to palm my ass, fingers digging into the meat of it as he pulled me impossibly closer. “Fuck yourself on my thigh like a doe in heat. Show me how bad you need it.”

A ragged moan tore from my chest at his words, my hips snapping forward frantically. He was right. I was rutting on him shamelessly, desperate for any stimulation on my aching cock. The way he was talking to me, so filthy and degrading, only made me hotter, my dick pulsing out another spurt of pre-cum.

It should've been humiliating, dry humping him like a horny teenager, but I was too far gone to care. All that mattered was the delicious friction against my cock, the sharp sting of Keres's teeth on my neck.

“Fuck, I'm close,” I panted, burying my face in his shoulder as I ground myself against his muscular thigh. The scent of him filled my nose, earthy and masculine, tinged with arousal. It made my head spin.

Keres's hand slid into my hair, fisting in the white-blond strands and yanking my head back. I gasped at the sharp tug on my scalp, the pain bleeding into pleasure. “You don't get to hide from me,” he growled. “I want to see your face when you come for me.”

His fingers tightened in my hair, keeping my head wrenched back, throat bared to him in total submission. My pulse hammered against his fingers, and I felt my own struggle between fear and need, caught in the intensity of his hold. Every instinct screamed to break away, but every inch of my body begged to stay. The sting of pain at my scalp only heightened the intense pleasure coursing through me, my nerves alight and singing with sensation.

“That's it,” he purred, the low rasp of his voice scraping down my spine. “Give me what’s mine, little rabbit.”

His voice triggered something raw and unfiltered, igniting a need that had me arching, grinding helplessly against him. The rigid muscle of his thigh pressed between my legs, unrelenting, feeding every urgent, hungry throb from my cock.

I could feel my orgasm building, unstoppable as a freight train. My balls drew up tight and I let out a broken moan, fingers scrabbling uselessly at Keres's broad shoulders.

“Fuck, fuck, I'm coming,” I gritted out.

My vision whited out as ecstasy crashed through me, my cock pulsing as I shot my load in my sweats. I shook and shuddered, hips continuing to work in helpless little twitches as I rode out the aftershocks. Keres held me through it, pinning me to the wall with his hard body, anchoring me as I fell apart in his arms.

When it was over, my muscles turned to water and I slumped bonelessly against him.

I was still trembling, my mind reeling in the aftermath of the most intense orgasm I'd ever had, when I heard the sound of the front door opening. Oh fuck.

Footsteps approached and then Gavin was there, standing in the kitchen doorway, taking in the scene with an unreadable expression. My face flooded with heat, suddenly acutely aware of the position I was in - pinned to the wall by Keres, the front of my sweats soaked with my own cum.

Keres, on the other hand, seemed completely unbothered. He was still nuzzling into my neck, inhaling deeply, like he was savoring the scent of my pleasure. The low, satisfied rumble in his chest sounded almost like a purr.

Mortification surged through me, my body flushing hot under Gavin’s gaze. I squirmed, barely able to meet his eyes. What must he think of me, letting myself go like this—like an animal? I tried to push Keres away, to regain some sort of dignity, but he was unmovable, his grip on me tightening possessively.

“Keres,” Gavin said, his voice carefully neutral. “I see you've met our guest.”

His eyes flicked over me and I flushed even harder, knowing I must look a debauched mess. He had to have seen the wet patch on my sweats, maybe even smelled the musky scent of cum, sweat, and arousal.

Keres finally pulled back enough to look at Gavin, though he kept me caged against the wall with his body. His lips curved into a slow, predatory smile. “He isn’t a guest. He belongs to me.”

Gavin's eyebrow raised a fraction, but his expression remained stoic. “Shepherd is the one who offered him a place to stay. It's not your decision to make, Keres.”

A low growl rumbled in Keres's chest and his eyes flashed dangerously. “Shepherd's not here right now. And while he's gone, the rabbit is under my protection.” His hand slid up to curl around my throat, grip firm and possessive. “Isn't that right, little one?”

I shivered, caught between humiliation and reluctant arousal. I didn't want to agree, to give him that power over me, but I couldn't deny the way my body responded to his touch, his dominance.

Gavin sighed, looking between us. “We'll discuss this later, when Shepherd is back. For now, let the poor kid clean up and eat something.” His gaze met mine, something like sympathy or understanding there. “Bathroom is down the hall on the left. I'll make breakfast.”

Keres made a displeased noise but released his grip on my throat. I slumped back against the wall, legs shaky, as he took a step back.

I took the opportunity to slip out from under Keres's overwhelming presence, mumbling my thanks to Gavin as I stumbled past him out of the kitchen. My face was on fire, humiliation warring with the lingering haze of pleasure as I made my way down the hall to the bathroom.

Once inside, I locked the door behind me. I stripped off my soiled sweats with shaky hands, kicking them into the corner. My skin felt tacky with sweat and cum, flushed and sensitive. I turned the shower on as hot as I could stand it and stepped under the spray, letting the pounding water sluice away the evidence of what I'd done.

What the hell just happened? I'd completely lost control, rutting against Keres like an animal. And I'd liked it—more than liked it. My spent cock gave a feeble twitch at the memory of his hands on me, his filthy words in my ear.

I scrubbed harder, trying to shake off Keres’s dark pull on me. But no amount of soap would erase the memory of his hands, his mouth... and my own eager response. He was dangerous in a way Shepherd wasn't. I'd seen it in his eyes—that predatory hunger, the raw dominance that demanded submission. It terrified me as much as it thrilled me.

I scrubbed myself raw, as if I could wash away the memory of Keres's hands on me, his deep growling voice in my ear. But even as I tried to push the thoughts away, my body rebelled. My cock stayed half-hard, no matter how I willed it to go down. The ghost of Keres's touch lingered, phantom fingers digging into my hips, teeth scraping my neck.

“Fuck,” I muttered, bracing my hands on the cool tile wall and hanging my head under the spray. Water dripped into my eyes, ran into my mouth. I welcomed the sting of it.

What was wrong with me? Letting a total stranger grope me, use me, like I was nothing more than a convenient hole to fuck. And worse—loving every second of it. Craving it, even.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the memories. Focused on the scalding heat of the water, the slippery glide of soap over my skin as I cleaned myself methodically.

I turned off the water and stepped out, grabbing a fluffy towel from the rack. I dried off quickly, rubbing the towel over my hair until it stood up in damp spikes. There was a plain black t-shirt and gray sweatpants folded on the counter that I hadn't noticed before. Gavin must have left them for me.

I pulled on the clothes, inhaling deeply. They smelled clean, like fresh laundry detergent, with a hint of something warm and spicy. Shepherd's scent. It shouldn't have been as comforting as it was.

I finger-combed my hair into some semblance of order and took a fortifying breath before opening the bathroom door. I could hear the distant clatter of dishes from the kitchen.

I padded down the hallway on bare feet, hesitating in the kitchen entryway. Gavin was at the stove, scrambling eggs in a skillet. He glanced up when I entered, giving me an assessing look. “Feeling better?”

I shrugged one shoulder, crossing to lean against the counter. “Yeah. Thanks for the clothes.”

“Of course.” Gavin slid the eggs onto two plates next to slices of buttered toast. “I sent Keres off on an errand. Figured you could use some space after... all that.”

My face heated at the reminder of what he'd walked in on. “Yeah, uh, thanks. And sorry you had to see that.”

Gavin handed me a plate and fork, his expression neutral but not unkind. “Keres can be a lot to handle, especially if you're not used to him. Are you alright?”

I shrugged, poking at the fluffy scrambled eggs with my fork. My face still felt hot, embarrassment simmering under my skin. But I appreciated Gavin's calm, no-nonsense demeanor. It made it a little easier to talk about what happened.

“I'm okay, I think. Kind of confused and overwhelmed, to be honest.” I shoveled a forkful of eggs into my mouth, buying myself a moment to gather my thoughts. After I swallowed, I asked hesitantly, “Is Keres always like that?”

Gavin leaned back against the counter, sipping from a mug of coffee. He considered me thoughtfully for a moment before answering. “Keres is the most primal of Shepherd's alters. He's pure instinct and aggression, without much in the way of impulse control or higher reasoning. When he wants something, he takes it.”

I nodded slowly, trying to absorb this information. It explained a lot about Keres's behavior, the way he'd come on so strong and intense right out of the gate. “So when he said I was his...”

“He meant it,” Gavin said simply. “In his mind, you belong to him now. He's claimed you as his own.”

“So what you're saying is, I should expect him to jump me again if I stick around?”

Gavin's mouth twitched, like he was suppressing a smile. “I'm saying you should be prepared for Keres to be... single-minded in his focus on you. He's clearly decided you belong to him, and he'll be aggressive in staking that claim.”

A shiver worked its way down my spine at the thought. I didn't know how to feel about being claimed like some kind of property. On one hand, it was all kinds of fucked up. I wasn't a thing to be owned. But on the other hand, a dark, secret part of me kind of liked it. Liked knowing I affected Keres so strongly that he felt that primal need to possess me.

I pushed the thought away, not wanting to examine it too closely. “What about the others? Shepherd's other alters?”

Gavin took another sip of his coffee. “There are others—each with their own personality and role. Keres is just the most intense.”

“And you manage them,” I said, remembering what Shepherd told me last night. “Keep things under control.”

Gavin huffed. “I don’t control anything about Shepherd or his alters. I’m here to manage and assist. For example, since Keres is out today, my job is to make sure any appointments Shepherd has are rescheduled or otherwise handled. Luckily, school isn’t in session right now and he only sees patients a few days a week, so my job today will boil down to looking after you, mostly, and making sure you get adjusted.”

I nodded slowly, trying to wrap my head around all this new information. It was a lot to take in. I was still reeling from my encounter with Keres, and now I had to worry about a whole system of alters, each with their own agendas and personalities. It was dizzying.

Before I could ask any more questions, the front door opened and closed. Footsteps approached the kitchen and then Keres was there, a stack of mail in his hand. He paused in the doorway, his dark gaze immediately finding me and pinning me in place. I felt that same electric thrill run through me at the intensity in his eyes.

“I have successfully retrieved the mail,” Keres said, his deep voice seeming to vibrate in my bones. He crossed to the counter and dropped the stack of envelopes, but his eyes never left me.

“Thank you, Keres,” Gavin said calmly, seemingly unaffected by the thick tension that had descended on the kitchen. “Eli and I were having breakfast. Would you like some milk?”

Keres grunted, finally dragging his gaze away from me to glance at Gavin.

As Gavin poured him a glass of milk, I tried to focus on my food, but my appetite had vanished. I was hyper aware of Keres's presence, the heat and solidity of his body as he leaned against the counter a few feet away.

Shit, what time was it? I suddenly remembered I was supposed to be at the tattoo shop for my apprenticeship. Shepherd taking me in had thrown off my whole routine. Usually I'd be rushing to catch the bus across town.

I glanced at the clock on the microwave. 8:37. Fuck, I had to be there by 9:30 to help Cherry set up for the day. It was bad enough that I was going to have to explain to Cherry that I was moving out. The apprenticeship was the one stable thing I had going for me and I couldn't afford to screw it up by getting distracted by all this drama with Shepherd and his alters.

I cleared my throat, setting my half-eaten plate of eggs on the counter. “Hey, uh, I hate to eat and run, but I'm supposed to be at the tattoo shop in like an hour. I gotta get going if I'm gonna make it on time.”

Keres's head snapped up, his eyes narrowing. “You're not going anywhere without me.”

“Keres,” Gavin warned, “Eli has responsibilities. He can't drop everything because you've decided to fixate on him.”

Keres growled low in his throat, the sound raising the hairs on the back of my neck. “He's mine. I'm not letting him out of my sight.”

I bristled at that, my earlier unease morphing into irritation. “Look, I appreciate you giving me a place to crash and all, but you can’t be with me twenty-four seven.”

“Why not?”

I gaped at Keres, at a loss for how to respond to that. He said it so matter-of-factly, like it was perfectly reasonable to declare he'd be shadowing my every move from now on.

“Because I have a life,” I said, exasperated. “I have shit I need to do that doesn't involve you. My apprenticeship is important to me. I can't not show up.”

Keres's jaw clenched and for a second, I thought he might physically try to stop me from leaving. But then Gavin interjected, his calm voice cutting through the tension.

“Keres, I'm sure we can come to a compromise. What if you accompany Eli to the tattoo shop? That way, he can attend to his responsibilities while still being under your protection.”

Keres looked between me and Gavin, his jaw tight. Finally, he nodded. “Fine. But I’m driving him there. And I’ll pick him up.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but Gavin shot me a warning look. I snapped my jaw shut, realizing this was probably the best deal I was going to get. At least Keres had agreed to keep his distance while I was working.