Chapter 2

These past two years have both flown by and dragged.

In many ways, Seattle has started to feel like home. A feeling of comfort has crept into my everyday life despite the initial upheaval.

Things started to turn a corner for me around six months ago when I finally bit the bullet and left Elliott. I moved out of our temporary rental paid for by his firm and got myself a one-bedroom apartment downtown. Finally, I have some freedom and autonomy over my life. I can go out and make friends and just be myself. I was with Elliott since my early twenties. We met at university; he was studying economics, and I was reading law. Elliott was my first and only, having been wrapped in cotton wool my whole life by my parents. I had next to no experience in the guy department back then. Hell, I still don"t today. Elliott, on the other hand, had more than enough experience to go around, but that still didn"t stop us from falling pregnant at university.

My twenties came and went in a whirlwind of marriage and babies, and while I never wished for anything other than Jack and Darcy, I would wish for a different start to my adulthood. At thirty-nine, I feel like I'm re-starting my life and I finally have a chance to work out who I am, alone and free of a man's influence.

The rain beats against the twelfth-floor window of my office, and I"m broken out of my trance by the bloody awful ringtone Darcy set last week on my phone.

"Mum, I"m downstairs in the lobby waiting, can we get going?"

"I'll be right down; shall we grab a coffee too?"I look at the stack of files on my desk; lord only knows I need caffeine today.

"Yeah sure, just bring your umbrella. It"s absolutely chucking it down out here and I"ve just done my hair. Damn, this city!" Darcy lets out a frustrated groan.

"On my way, sweetheart," I reply and end the call.

Darcy has never taken to Seattle; from the outset, she was determined to hate it. For the past two years since Elliott broke the news, she"s been clock-watching, waiting to get back to Liam and her friends in Oxford. In contrast, Jack has thrived, making more friends than I"ve achieved in my thirty-nine years on this earth, and at nearly eighteen, he has a steadfast plan—go to college, study sports, and make it in the big leagues.

The Grind café has become my and Darcy's regular meet-up spot, and we tend to catch up a couple of times a week at least. But today, she seems preoccupied. We grab our chai lattes, something I"ve become totally obsessed with since moving out here, and take a seat side by side on our favorite plush pink sofa.

One scolding sip later, Darcy's frown still hasn't lifted. "So, Jack dropped the bomb last night. He"s not coming home; he"s chosen to take an offer from the University of Seattle and study Kinesiology."

You know that expectant look someone gives you as if they"ve rehearsed this conversation over again in their minds and fully anticipate a certain response? Well, that"s thelook I"m getting right now. On this occasion though, I can"t pacify Darcy because I"m not heading back either. There"s nothing there for me. The friends I made back in the UK were all affiliated with Elliott in some way, and those who weren"t haven"t kept in touch. My boss seems to value me more than my ex-husband ever did, securing me an employer-sponsored green card, allowing me to stay and work in Seattle.

In three weeks, Darcy and Elliott will board a plane back to Heathrow, and right now, she thinks I have a ticket. It"s getting to crunch time, and I need to tell her.

I take a bite of my salad, wishing I ordered a panini instead because this rabbit food really isn't cutting it. "Yeah, we need to talk about that."

Darcy straightens, her frown turning into a full-blown scowl. "What do you mean?"

"The thing is, well…"

"You aren't coming home either are you?"

I feel every muscle in my body tense. "No."

"Yeah, I figured as much."

I continue pushing the salad around my plate, any remnants of my appetite now completely depleted. "You guessed?"

She shrugs nonchalantly, but I can see the sadness in her bright blue eyes, and it breaks my heart. "With you and Dad splitting, and Jack staying here, I guess the UK hasn't got much left to offer you."

I balk. "Other than my beautiful daughter."

She chuckles softly. "No, seriously though Mum, I get why you're staying. I just feel like my world is flipped upside down."

I scoot across the sofa and pull her into my side, wrapping my arm around her slender frame, her long honey-colored hair falling over my shoulder. Darcy has her dad's height just like Jack, and despite being twenty-two years older, my small five-three frame feels tiny compared to hers.

"I know, sweetheart. The thing is, life, it sometimes deals you a hand you least expect, but it's what we do with those cards that matters. We can either fold or make the best of what we have. Me and your dad should've split years ago, but I guess I held out for you and Jack. Now though, you're both growing up, and you'll be off to college with Liam next year. I promise I'll be back to visit you as much as I can." My voice is thick with emotion and trepidation, hoping desperately she'll understand. But the way Darcy nods along tells me at seventeen, she is far beyond her years; still, it doesn't stop the overwhelming sense of guilt.

We finish our lunch and Darcy updates me on her plans for finishing high school and applying to university with Liam. I love her take on life, her romantic heart, falling in love with Liam at such a young age, and both so fiercely loyal to one another. As her mum, I fully support their relationship, but I can"t say I understand it. For me, true love has been elusive, and at times, it"s hard not to inwardly project, wondering why it hasn"t happened to me.

Then at thirty-one I also lost my parents to cancer; Mum went first closely followed by Dad, and that was the last straw. I"ve boarded up my numb heart, only prepared to feel for my children. Lending out my heart for romantic purposes, yeah, that"s a solid no from me. Been there, tried that. Failed.

The rain has stopped as we step out into the mid-September air. A comfortable sixty-eight degrees has me wearing a dusky-pink dress and black sandals. I don"t live far from work, so I like to walk each day. At my age and post two children, I find it harder to stay in shape despite an array of gym classes filling my schedule. I miss the twenties body I had and God, I can"t remember the last pair of size four jeans I could fit into without contorting my body like a pretzel to do up the zip. So, these days I opt for comfort, confident in my body and curves.

I turn to Darcy. "Let's meet up as much as we can between now and when you leave, okay?"

"Okay, but just don't shut Dad out completely, yeah. He"s been different since you left. I don't think he's doing that great."

I haven't shared half of what went on between Elliott and me with Darcy and Jack. They don't need to know everything, and they're already trying to process our divorce. Darcy and her dad remain close, even after the forced move to Seattle, and the last thing I want to do is rock their relationship. But Elliott as a father and Elliott as a husband are two very different people.

I tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. "I won't, sweetheart." Truthfully, I'm not sure how good I'll be at keeping that promise, but I know I need to try.

Beinga PA for hotshot defense attorney, Mark Preston, is honestly not what I dreamed of when I enrolled at university. Don't get me wrong, it's a good, solid, and respectable job, and Mark is great to work for. But I wanted to become a lawyer and change the world, one human rights court after the next. Elliott always thought he was smarter than me academically, and I let myself drift into his shadow. I was a straight-A student, and even taking my finals while pregnant didn"t deter me from being awarded top student in my class.

"I still think you should set up that profile." My colleague and best friend, Kate Monroe, comes to stand next to me at my desk, watching me scroll absentmindedly through Instagram.

"I've told you. I'm not dating. I don't need a man."

Kate bends down to my height as I'm seated at my desk and whispers softly, "Maybe not, but we all know Tinder is really for hookups. I think you could use a bit of the d."

I flush but don't respond. I've never had a one-night stand, but a girl has needs, and there's only so much a toy can do.

"I mean, how long has it been?"

I balk at her, my eyes scanning the room to make sure no one hears. "A while."

"How long?"

"Not since Elliott, but why does it matter?"

Kate almost drops her coffee. "What?!" She attempts to whisper but it's more of a low-key shout. "Six months?!"

I flush again and quickly rush out, "More like a year, but I don't need a man."

"Girl, you could give Saint Mary a run for her money."

Unlike me, Kate is super confident around men. I suppose when you're thirty-two and look like a supermodel it always helps. She eats up men like she does her litigation cases and takes no prisoners. She's had a few short-term boyfriends but nothing serious. Honestly, I wish I could be more like her, but I don't know how I could have a casual thing with someone.

"Yeah well, I'm still waiting for Tom Hardy to sweep me off my feet," I joke.

Kate looks off dreamily as she takes another sip of coffee. "Damn, he is fine, gorgeous, talented, rich, and famous…"

"And lives in the UK," I finish.

"Maybe you made the wrong decision staying here after all."

I click on Tom Hardy's profile, unabashedly stalking him.

"Kate, your three o'clock is here," someone announces from behind us, and I quickly close our swooning session.

"Catch you in a bit, babe." Kate takes off, her fitted black suit and patent heels turning heads as she goes.

It's goneeight when I finally get home. I managed to squeeze in a quick yoga class after work. But now, my sofa is calling me, along with ice cream and Ed Sheeran.

My eyes are drifting closed when my phone pings with a text.

Jack

Mum, some of the boys want to go to Vancouver for my eighteenth. Is that okay with you?

Me

Is this with Will, Dan, and Max?

Yeah, Garrett too.

Ah, well that means there will be girls.

And will there be girls?

Hopefully.

Jack Thompson!

I dunno, maybe, why does that matter?

Just be safe, you know what I"m saying...

So that"s a yes?

He"s not your baby anymore, Felicity.

Yes. But we need to meet up soon, so I can give you your present. I think you"ll like this one this year.

Okay. But can we skip the Batman socks this time?

Trust me, I"m about to become your new favorite person.

Unlikely, unless you play for the Scorpions.

I smile to myself, smug mode well and truly activated.