Chapter 20

"Stay with me?"

Elliott left around twenty minutes ago, and I've finally managed to calm her enough to get her to eat at least a slice of pizza, complete with gross black olives.

We're sitting on her black corner couch, my back against one of the side arms as she sits between my legs, her back pressed against my chest. The position is intimate, but she's been way too upset because of that asshole for me to even think about anything other than comforting her.

"I'm right here," I softly reply into the shell of her ear, smoothing her shoulder with my palm. In this position, I can inhale her gorgeous coconut scent that I've figured out is her shampoo.

She turns her head around to face me, her eyes slightly puffy from crying, and her cheeks still stained from tears. "No. I mean stay with me. Tonight. Here."

I can't lie, I'm taken aback by her request, but being totally honest, I hadn't planned to leave her. Not until I knew that fucker was back on a plane to London and out of this country. I want him nowhere near her.I rub my thumb lightly across her cheek, drowning in her slightly red but still beautiful, emerald eyes. "I wasn't planning on leaving you tonight, Angel. I can take the couch."

She shakes her head, her lids fluttering shut at my touch. "No, I mean stay with me. In my bed."

I freeze. I was not expecting her to say that. "I can sleep on here; it's no problem."

She sets her half-eaten slice back on the plate and turns her body toward me fully so that she's on her knees and between my legs. Despite my best efforts to keep this PG, my dick twitches, and I run my hands down her sides, feeling her firm body beneath my palms.

"No, I want you with me. I need you, Jon. I feel safe when I'm with you. In your arms."

Fuck me. My heart squeezes at her admission. The trust she places in me, the way she's looking at me with longing and expectation. It"s everything I've hoped for.

I've shared a bed with many women over the years, but never like this. And never with a woman like Felicity. In my past, being in bed with someone has only resulted in one thing for us both. But tonight, Felicity wants me for an entirely different reason, to hold and comfort her. I'm in uncharted territory, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared shitless.

It's eleven p.m.,and I find myself in Felicity's tiny bathroom feeling like a sixteen-year-old about to lose his virginity. The thought of sharing a bed with the woman I've lusted after for months has got me all twisted up. Not to mention my dick which clearly hasn't gotten the memo that tonight will likely get no further than first base.

"There's a spare toothbrush under the sink," she shouts from the other side of the door.

At least that's one dilemma sorted. I've fantasized about sharing a bed with her hundreds of times—okay, probably thousands, most ending with me getting myself off in the shower to the thought. But I was not prepared for the way tonight has unfolded.

Don't get carried away, Jon. She wants you to stay and comfort her. I mentally will my dick to stand down and my brain to get a grip.

But fuck me is she beautiful. And cute, so cute. Her coconut shampoo, the scent that's been driving me crazy since late September, sits at the side of the tub along with a matching conditioner. I make a mental note of the brand. Would it be weird if I bought a bottle just to keep at my place, for times when I don't get to see her? Christ, who are you and what have you done with Jon Morgan?

With one final pep talk, I pull the door open and step out into her bedroom. The room is glowing in soft light courtesy of a single lamp on her nightstand. The sage-green comforter on the queen-size bed is pulled back, but it's missing a particular someone. I wiped down the kitchen and plates after our pizza, so I doubt there's much to do in there.

So where is she?

Just then, the door to her closet opens, and out steps Felicity, sporting tiny pink silk sleep shorts and a matching cami top that scoops low at the front. She's no longer wearing a bra, and I catch my first glimpse at the shape of her perfectly perky tits and nipples, which are slightly peaked. Shit, is she turned on or just cold? I can't tell because the heating in this place is crap at best. No wonder she has a thick comforter piled with blankets. The thought of my girl living and sleeping in a cold apartment pisses me off, and I make a mental note that it's something I need to address and fast.

"Hey." She pauses as she closes the tiny closet door which stays ajar due to the number of bags and scarves hanging over the edge.

"Hi," I squeak out. Shit, I'm so nervous. Looking at my dream girl dressed in barely anything and standing before me in her bedroom. I'm still in my dress pants and button-down shirt, having only removed my jacket and shoes much earlier in the night.

"You look, um, nice." I'm so smooth.

She smiles sweetly, with an edge of uncertainty to her still slightly puffy eyes.

"Do you have a favorite side?" she asks, looking over at the bed.

As long as it's next to you, then no.

"No. I." I pause. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I want her to know me, the good, the bad, and everything in between. "I've only ever slept alone, so I've always just taken the middle."

"You've never shared a bed with another woman?"

My skin itches, flushing hot. "No, well, yes. Not all night."

She looks confused, her lips twisting to the side as she considers my response. "So, just one-night stands?" She asks the question but there's no judgment in her eyes, just a hint of intrigue.

"Yeah." I start unbuttoning my shirt, desperate for something to do with my hands. "I sort of had rules when it came to women."

She starts climbing into bed before moving over to the far side closest to the window. Once settled, she leans her back against the wooden headboard pulling the comforter up and over her chest, clearly aware of her peaked nipples as her face flushes with a touch of embarrassment. I don't like it. I never want her to be embarrassed around me.

Tipping her head slightly to the side, her eyes cast down over my chest to my abs. My shirt is undone but not removed, hanging open at the front. I start undoing my belt, unlooping it slowly. Returning her eyes to mine, I swear there's a heat in them that wasn't there before. I can't deny I'm a good-looking guy with a thick muscular body, and taking my clothes off in front of a woman has never been anything other than routine in the buildup to sex. But this, tonight, here with the girl of my dreams as she watches me strip to my dark-gray boxer briefs, every cell in my body is ignited with hyper-arousal and awareness. If the apartment is still cold, I can't feel it. I've never experienced anything this hot, yet sex isn't even in the cards.

I climb into bed, my weight shifting her ever so slightly closer as I feel our thighs brush together, a fleeting touch that jolts through me going straight to my dick.

Shit, not now.

Keep it together.

Think of anything. Anything else.

"I don't know if I want to ask about your rules." She breaks the short silence.

I too shift back against the headboard, close enough so our shoulders touch, sending a similar physical reaction through me. The way Felicity responds, I know she feels it too."I don't want to keep secrets from you, Angel. You can ask me anything and I'll always be honest. Even if it isn't what you want to hear." I can't say I'm proud of some of my past, but I'm serious about this woman, and I'll show her all of me.

She doesn't say anything more. So, I offer up the information I think she wants. "I never stayed overnight with any hookup. Once we were done, I'd either get dressed and leave her place or call her a taxi from the hotel to make sure she got home safe."I turn to look at her, analyzing for any trace of judgment in her eyes. Still none.

"So, it was a one-and-done type of arrangement?"

"Not quite, my rules meant I couldn't hook up with the same woman more than twice. That was designed to stop them from catching feelings, in case they got the wrong idea of what it was. Which to me was always sex. Meaningless, but with a purpose of release and a connection with someone on the shallowest of levels."

"Oh." Felicity brings her knees up and under her chin. "And they were okay with that."

"Yeah, for the most part, I never had any issues. They knew what they were getting with me. It suited both parties. I got what I wanted and needed, and they got what they wanted too. Some wanted to brag about being with me, and others were more tight-lipped, just in it for the great sex."

She smirks at that, and there's a twinkle returning to her eyes. "Great, huh? Don't mind Mr. Modest Morgan over here."

I chuckle, feeling my shoulders relax just a little. Instead of running for the hills, she appreciates my openness with her. Fucking incredible."I told you, I'll always be honest with you, so yes, the feedback I've received over the years leads me to believe I'm decent in bed."

"H-How much feedback have you had?" I don't need to be a genius to work out that's a loaded question. She's asking me for my number and suddenly, the eased tension returns tenfold.

I grip the back of my neck, trying to soothe away some of the discomfort."A lot… More than I can count." Which is the truth. I have no idea how many women I've been with. If I averaged hookups twice a week, which is conservative given my rookie years, then we'd be looking at a big number, but that doesn't account for the fact that on occasion I'd find myself with more than one woman at a time. Especially during my darker moments before I started seeing Ben and was drinking more than I should.

I desperately want to change the topic of conversation but work through the pained silence, giving her an opportunity to ask anything more.

But she doesn't push me any further, and for that I'm grateful.

"I've only ever slept with one man."

My jaw nearly hits the floor. Christ, our pasts couldn't be any more different, but it means so much that she's offered up a part of herself in return for my candidness and it fills my chest with warmth.Once again, my mind is taken back to that poor excuse of a man she calls her ex-husband. "Elliott," I grit out, jaw clenched.

"Yeah." She blanches slightly, and I wonder if it's at the mention of his name. "We met at university. I fell pregnant with Jack and by twenty-two, I was married with two children. Darcy followed not long after Jack."

It's my turn to blanch. "So, you had two children while still in college?" I try to keep my tone as even as possible, desperate for her not to think I'm judging, which I in no way am.

"Yeah. Elliott said I should just quit school and focus on bringing up the children. In fact, he was determined for me to, but my mum and dad stepped in and helped care for them both, so I could continue studying and finish my degree."

They sound like amazing parents. The opposite of her douchebag ex."What about his parents? What about him?"

She scoffs at the mere suggestion. "Oh, no. His parents were high-flying professionals, no time for me. They didn't like the fact I'd had Jack, never mind Darcy. They thought I'd gotten pregnant to ensnare their perfect son who was bound for great things in finance. They never stopped to think that Elliott was responsible for his actions.In fact, he was—" she hurries out and then stops.

"He was what, Felicity?" My tone is way sharper than I wanted, but the way this is going, I know I'm not going to like it.

She frustratedly gathers her beautiful chocolate wavy hair into a messy bun, securing it with the black elastic band around her wrist."He told me he wanted more children. He said he wanted to have them young so we could concentrate on our careers. He told me I was it for him, and at such a young age I fell for it. I mean, I guess I was it for him, but not in the way I hoped. Not in a romantic way. As the years passed by, it became clear that I was responsible for bringing up the children, and he was the sole breadwinner." Her voice is shaky and laced with emotion, and I can tell she's trying to keep herself together. A lone tear pools in the corner of her eye.

My heart cracks open. I can't bear to hear or see her upset. On instinct, I pull her into my side so her head is resting on my chest, and it's then I feel more dampness.

I think she's finished talking, but then she continues.

"Don't get me wrong. He isn't a bad dad; in fact, he's got a great relationship with Darcy. They're close. Jack not so much, but he's always been good to them, providing everything they need. But our marriage? Well, we were on very different paths. I wanted to be a human rights lawyer, and he wanted me to drop my career and be the perfect wife." She says the last bit in a mocking tone."There's nothing wrong with raising children and staying at home if that's what you want to do. But I wanted something for me. I love Jack and Darcy with all my heart, but women can have it all. The career and the kids if that's what they want. When it became clear that I was going to continue working, he started setting up interviews for me with his connections. I got shoe-horned into being a PA for Mark Preston. It's a decent job and the salary is okay, but it isn't my dream."

So, he's a controlling mother fucker, keeping her right where he wants her, and over time, it looks like he wore her down. From time to time, I've witnessed that spunk in Felicity, the spark I know she has when she gives me shit. I saw it the moment I laid eyes on her at the stadium, but it's offset by a woman who lacks confidence in herself and her amazing capabilities. It's clear she's incredibly smart. If I had my best guess, I'd say she threatened his superiority. His position as the main breadwinner and head of the house. So instead of helping her with her dreams, he controlled her and clipped her wings.

Dick.

Zach was spot on that night at his place.

"What does he do for a living?" I know he works in finance, but if one cent of my money is invested and benefiting this fucker, then I want out. I want him out of our lives, out of hers. My gut tells me what she's shared tonight is only the tip of the iceberg.

"An equity fund manager." Her voice is a little steadier as I trace my fingers up and down her arm. In the last couple of minutes, she's gone from being tucked into my side to my arm around her back, pinned between her and the headboard as my fingertips dance across her goose-pimpled skin."One of the best in the UK, but more recently, he's moved to head of the US equity team, and that's what brought us to Seattle. He's been working on a new fund launch. Well, more like overseeing its progress."

"And then you divorced him, and he moved back home?" I ask cautiously.

"Yes. We divorced eight months ago and that's when I moved out and into this apartment."

I look around. Seattle is expensive, but if the financial settlement has been completed, I'd expect her to have a nicer place given the money he earns.

As if reading my mind she clarifies. "This is rented, and I could afford better based on the settlement I got from Elliott, but I want to keep hold of that money, not eat into it too much. My life is so upside down, and with two children still in education, Darcy about to start university next summer, I want to pull my weight. I don't know what's going to happen with my job or if my living in Seattle will work out. I could find myself unemployed at some point, so I need to hang onto the savings I have. Besides, the settlement from Elliott was okay, but it wasn't great."

I pull back and peek down at her. Anger swelling in my gut once again. "Wasn't great how?"

She puffs out a breath, staring straight ahead at the cream-colored wall in front of us. "He didn't want to divorce; I drove the breakup. I hadn't any real grounds to divorce him other than on no-fault terms, so finally, after years of me growing more distant from him, he agreed on the basis that I settle on a smaller proportion. I wasn't prepared to go through a battle over money. As long as I had enough to get by and support the kids, I was happy. Money never has and never will mean much to me. Unlike Elliott who is obsessed with it. My freedom and happiness meant more than a higher share of his estate."

There's so much for me to unpack and process in what she's told me. Felicity has given me a window into her life over the last fifteen minutes and since I got into her bed, she's shared with me details that make so much sense. Why she is like she is, nervous about another relationship. Constantly keeping me at a safe distance. Here's this playboy NHL hockey star pursuing her, asking for her number, asking her on dates, flirting like hell on nights out. Another successful man with deep pockets.

It all makes so much sense.

Yet despite her past and damaged heart, she's still found the strength to let me in and try on some level. She's incredible.