Chapter 28

twenty-eight

BAD FEELINGS

M egan and I arrive at Becca’s house right on time, leaving her nothing to complain about.

Or so we thought.

Becca answers the door, looking me up and down in my jeans and sweater and rolls her eyes. “You could have put in at least a little effort for my birthday, Emmy.” I pull at the sleeves of my sweater, shifting on my feet and give her a tight smile.

“I thought we were just going out to dinner,” I defend. Megan was dressed nicer than me, but she always dresses well. She’s got a good fashion sense and shows it off as she should. Regardless of the event. Now seeing Becca though, her outfit is even nicer than Megan’s. She’s wearing heels and a short pink skirt and white corset top.

I’m the one who looks out of place.

“We are,” Becca answers. “But it’s your best friend’s birthday.”

Megan links arms with mine. “It’s fine, you still look hot, Em. Plus you brought those heels that’ll dress the outfit up.”

She’s right, but I don’t really think the shoes are the problem. I should have brought a different jacket and worn it over a cute top.

Becca glares at our linked arms before rolling her eyes again. “It’s whatever. You look fine.”

I sigh, what every girl dreams of hearing. Megan gives me a look to check if I’m okay, but I wave her off. I should have accepted her offer to borrow one of her shirts, but I didn’t think everyone would be dressed up so nice when we’re going to some bar and restaurant.

We walk in and see everyone else already here and I cringe when I see Jeremy sitting next to Cameron. Even if Becca has been upset with me, she could have given me a heads up that he would be here.

His smirk is infuriating when he catches sight of me and blatantly checks me out. I take back everything I thought, I’m more than happy to be underdressed now. I curse under my breath and Megan gives me a surprised look but I wave her off again. It’s impossible to explain here.

Chelsea comes out from the hallway leading to Becca’s room and smirks when she sees me. She’s dressed in an outfit so similar to Becca’s to not have been planned. Megan snorts when she sees Chelsea and it’s hard not to laugh with her.

“We were wondering when you were finally going to show up,” Chelsea says as she sits on the armrest of Jeremy’s chair and he wraps an arm around her waist. That…weirdly makes sense. But in kind of a gross and disturbing way. They’re both insufferable. “You’re the last ones here.”

“Why sit down if you’re so eager to leave?” Megan retorts, turning on her heel to walk right back out of the house, dragging me with her.

I can’t help but giggle as I shuffle my steps to keep up with her long legs.

“I don’t think they were actually ready to leave,” I point out.

She shrugs. “Shouldn’t have been so bitchy as soon as we got here then, huh?”

We wait outside while everyone inside gathers their stuff and as funny as it was to stand up to Chelsea who has never really liked me, I can’t help but feel we’re the ones who got the short end of the stick waiting out here in the cold.

When they head out, Jeremy and Cam walk right past us and Jeremy knocks his shoulder into mine. “Heard you were still all naive and shit,” he says in a way that makes my skin crawl. “Must still be single. When you’re ready to change that, you have my number.” He winks and my lip curls in disgust and I instinctively step away from him as he invades my space.

Megan tightens her grip on my arm, Jeremy just sneers in her direction while Cam laughs and they both head to his car.

“Just me, or is Cam getting even worse?”

Before I can say anything, Becca and Chelsea walk outside and I cringe at the goosebumps that rise all over their skin as soon as the frigid air hits them.

“The guys are going to meet us there,” Becca exclaims as she leads Chelsea to her car and not so subtly reminds me of my current place. “Chels, we can continue our conversation if you sit in the front seat.”

I hadn’t ever really noticed the way I would always be in the front seat when Becca drove and how she would be in the front seat when I did, regardless of who else was in the car. I never would have thought that it had a meaning behind it, but ever since she’s been upset with me, it has become her favorite power move.

Megan and I trade amused looks. It’s not as if it really bothers me. I probably wouldn’t have even thought much of it if Chelsea had just started sitting in the front seat, but it’s the small comments that always come with it that make it weird.

“Actually,” Megan interrupts, a wicked look in her eye. “I was going to drive Ems and myself there. We might call it early if you guys stay out late and all her stuff for a sleep over is in my car.”

Oh, she’s really fed up. Not the day I would have chosen for this showdown, but I’m just here. Megan has been getting more and more irritated with Becca as the weeks have gone on.

“It’s my birthday.” Becca is dangerously close to stomping her foot and throwing a full tantrum.

“That’s why we’re going out,” Megan deadpans and Becca glares, turning her ire on me instead.

“Why would you have a sleepover with someone else on my birthday?”

I scratch my head, confused by what the problem with that is. “I asked if we were doing a sleepover and you said no?” We’ve always had one every year for our birthdays, but when she never brought it up, I did ask to make sure.

She does stomp her foot and I wince when she nearly rolls her ankle in her heels. “So you’re having one with someone else?”

I’d feel bad she’s so upset, but I can’t figure out what the problem with that is. Did she want me to go home and cry myself to sleep or something?

“Ugh,” she nearly screeches, “First you replaced me with the bitches who follow your brothers around like ugly fucking ducklings and now you’re replacing me with little miss too cool for the rest of us?”

Whoa.

“Becca!” I scold. “Why are you being so mean?” Genuine shock makes it hard to even form words. “I’m not replacing you with anyone, but oh my god. What makes you think it is okay to talk about people like that? Megan has been our friend for years and you don’t even know the girls from Westbrook.”

I still can’t believe what she said. Megan has always been around and maybe not the closest with all of us until she started coming to the games with me, but her and Becca have never seemed to have any issues. I honestly thought Becca looked up to her.

“If you’re really that upset about this, maybe I shouldn’t even come to dinner tonight. We can catch up in a few days when emotions aren’t so high and work this out then.”

Chelsea elbows Becca and tears begin to fill her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she apologizes, but I’m still wary of what’s going to come out of her mouth next. “I really didn’t mean that and I shouldn’t have said it. I’ve just missed you. It seems like you always have some other plans now. Or I Facetime you and you’re out and about already. You don’t even invite me to places anymore. But I shouldn’t take it on your friends.”

She looks at Megan, patting the tears from her eyes. “And I’m really sorry, Megan. I know you don’t think that. I guess it’s just hard for me to see you bouncing from friend group to friend group without any problems. I don’t know how you do it but that’s not an excuse for what I said.”

Megan nods, but holds her tongue. I sigh, not sure if we should still go to this dinner.

“I’d really like it if you both came, even if for a little bit before you have to leave.”

We did bring her presents after all. Might as well. I nod tightly. “We’ll meet you there.”

Megan and I sit in her car quietly for a minute while Becca pulls out of her driveway and takes off. I release a deep breath and shake my head.

“That was weird, right?” I ask.

Megan is already nodding as she turns on her car. “Psycho level weird. I knew she was possessive of you, but that was demonic.”

The heater blasts against my clammy skin and I shiver. “What do you mean possessive over me?” I ask, bewildered by what that could mean.

She arches a brow in my direction before turning back to the street. “Have you really never noticed?” Without giving me a chance to answer, she continues, “Nevermind. Don’t answer that.” She sighs and I feel guilty for not following.

“From the time you started at school, she claimed you as her best friend.”

I nod in agreement. A lot of the kids at our school grew up together, went to the same elementary schools, and middle school, played the same sports, and had parents who went to high school together. It was intimidating coming into a town like that, fresh off losing my mom, and not being sure I would find where I fit in.

On the first day of school, in our homeroom class, I met Becca. She was the pretty brunette with a wide smile and her eyes honed in on me the second she walked into the classroom. I was sitting alone at the table in the back corner of the room, trying not to cry because all I wanted to do was call my mom and hear her voice.

Becca sat right next to me and introduced herself. I was scared at first that she was going to be mean, but she just chatted with me all the way through class. She asked to see my schedule and told me who the hard teachers were and who didn’t care if you ate in their class. And she asked about the school I went to before and what my friends were like back home. By the end of the period, I felt more relaxed around her and she invited me to sit with her at lunch. She even walked me to my next class when I was worried I was going to get lost. And then in the hallway hugged me tightly and said she just knew we were going to be the best of friends.

We were pretty much inseparable after that.

“Now that I know you,” Megan continues, “I can see you maybe don’t even realize that once you were Becca’s best friend, no one else really approached you.”

I shrug, but it’s true. “I assumed no one really liked me.” It was the same with her. Becca was being rude when she said it, but Megan has never been one to be tied solely to one friend group. She eats lunch with us for a couple of weeks and then with someone else for the next few. It never really bothered me, but when she did eat with us, she always just gave me these appraising looks.

Now that I know her, I realize it’s her way of trying to gauge how comfortable she can be with a person. She comes off as very confident, but she can actually be reserved.

“Of course you did,” Megan mutters and I scrunch my nose at her. “When you think back on it, do you feel like maybe Becca was making comments that maybe added to that feeling?”

She’s saying it so gently and I sink further into my seat as the truth of that hits me. “Maybe a little,” I admit, embarrassment making my tongue feel heavy. But it’s more than just a little true. Becca spent weeks encouraging me that it just takes time for people here to open up to strangers. That they’d eventually come around. Once they got to know me. It always made me feel like there was a problem and it was me. But also made me that much more grateful to Becca for being so kind.

“She used to say you guys were a very close-knit community and it took awhile to accept outsiders.”

Megan clicks her tongue. “I figured. We are close-knit, but not like that. You were the talk of the whole school, Em.” Her words take me by surprise. “You and Zac of course. Someone had seen you both register and told just about the whole school about the hot new twins we had coming.”

“Twins?” I stammer, making her laugh. I don’t know why that’s the part that my mind got stuck on, but it did. Zac as my twin? Revolting.

“Yes, some wrong assumptions were made. But my point was, by the first day of school everyone already knew who you were and wanted to meet you. It was exciting for us, having someone new around. Don’t you remember the way people swarmed Zac?”

“He plays hockey,” I half-heartedly defend. I wasn’t in any sports, hadn’t joined or even considered joining any clubs. Photography was my only real hobby and I always considered that a solo kind of gig. Eventually, I did get more involved but it took me a while. Zac took to it like a duck to water. “He was always going to be accepted by the team And he’s fun.”

“You’re fun,” she deadpans and it makes me smile. I haven’t always felt like I was the fun one. “Becca told people that you were shy. That people would overwhelm you.”

It hurts to think she would purposefully sabotage me making other friends, but at the same time, neither of those things is a total lie. Maybe she really did think she was protecting me?

“She said you would reach out to people when you were comfortable and people should give you space,” she continues. Maybe that would be sweet if she ever encouraged me to reach out to people first. But she never did. “Days turned into weeks and then months and you never reached out to anyone else. You got closer and closer to Becca and stayed surface-level with anyone else. People stopped thinking you were shy, and started assuming you were stuck up. That you thought you were too good for us because of who your dad is.”

Genuine shock filters through me and I don’t think I even want to go to this dinner anymore. I want Xander. “Who my dad is?” I question and my voice sounds as small as I feel.

We reach the parking lot and Megan parks at the back of it, I’m assuming to give us a few more minutes of privacy. “Everyone knew your dad played in the NHL and then there’s the whole you guys moved into the house that had been vacant for years because no one could afford it.” She winces as she finishes.

I huff half a laugh. “I didn’t know that,” I admit with a sigh. “But I guess I can see why people would think I was stuck up.” Becca never said anything to me that I was giving off the kind of impression. How many people have been distant with me only because they thought I didn’t like them?

“That’s why I could never figure you out,” Megan continues and I really hope she has no more bomb shells to drop on me because this one was quite enough. “You were always nice and didn’t seem like a raging bitch.”

I snort. “Thanks.” Glad I made a good impression.

She winks at me before cringing. “But then you were always so short when anyone but Becca talked to you."

It’s my turn to cringe. “Because I thought they didn’t like me,” I explain and it sounds so stupid now that I’m looking back at it. “I thought people were only talking to me to be polite so I tried to keep it short.”

Megan laughs, wiping her hand over her face. “How did I know it was going to be something like that?” She takes another deep breath. “I started noticing when we went out to Tease and she kept pouring alcohol down your throat. It seemed like she was dead set on you making a fool of yourself.”

I had not considered that. I thought she just wanted me to loosen up because I’m always the stick in the mud.

“I can see what you’re thinking,” she chastises. “You are fun without alcohol, Emery Moore. Without drinking, or partying, or cursing, you are still fun. You’re not boring.”

My head rests against the headrest and I close my eyes, trying not to cry.

“That night, I saw a side to you I had never seen before. You didn’t seem stuck up, you seemed sad. A little lonely and like you felt out of place. I started paying more attention. Saw the little comments Becca would make that would put you down. I started to think maybe you let her treat you so poorly because she was the only one here who welcomed you with open arms. But then you started pulling away from her and standing up for yourself, little by little. And she got more and more blatant with it and I actually got to know you and you’re nothing at all like how I’ve thought of you all these years and now I know I was right about why you’ve stayed friends with her for so long.”

Unfortunately I can relate. All it took was one time of the two of us hanging out without Becca around for us to hit it off. “After the hockey game I had wondered why it took us so long to get to know each other, but I guess now I know.”

“I am sorry, Em,” she apologizes but she has nothing to be sorry for.

“Why are you friends with her?” I ask. “I mean if you think of her like this?”

Megan chews on her lip and I’m not sure if it’s because she doesn’t know the answer or if she doesn’t know if she wants to tell me. “She is fun,” she admits, almost regretfully. “We were never really close and I never considered she was being so manipulative behind the scenes until that night at the bar.”

“That’s why you’ve been standing up to her lately?” Even before we got close, Megan took my side.

She nods. “Yeah, she never really did any of that stuff in front of me before. Nothing I had noticed anyways. She always seemed to like me well enough to invite me places, but never enough for us to braid each other’s hair and share secrets.”

Fair enough.

“Do we go in?” I ask after sitting in silence for another few seconds. I don’t really want to, but it is her birthday. Maybe this is all a misunderstanding. It’s not like she told any lies about me. Maybe she really did think she was helping.

“I guess it depends on what you want to do with your friendship,” Megan hedges, not giving an answer. “I’m good with ghosting her to be honest.” Nevermind. There’s her answer. I can’t help but chuckle.

I sigh, knowing I’m going to sound naive and like an idiot. But Becca has been my best friend for years. What could she have gained out of faking a friendship for so long? Free pictures of herself?

“Maybe she really was only trying to help,” I defend her. “I can’t know until we talk about it, but her birthday isn’t the time to do it.”

Megan looks like she is literally biting her tongue, but she nods. “Then let’s go in,” she decides. She opens the door and we both get out. She links our arms together again as we walk against the biting wind.

“Just promise to be careful,” she says before we reach the group waiting just outside the restaurant. There are several more people from school waiting with them now. I hadn’t realized how many people she was going to invite. “I didn’t like the feeling I got when Becca was fake crying.”

I snort and she elbows me in the side. “I’m being serious,” she warns and she’s not one to play like that so I nod. “And maybe have Xander on standby?”

“I still can’t believe you knew,” I groan.

“You guys had sparks flying the first time he came to pick you up,” she teases. “I thought he was going to kiss you right then and there and that you might have begged him to.”

I shove her shoulder. “We were only friends then.”

“Mhm. Just text him in case we need a knight again.”

We’re getting closer to the group and I feel like we need something to break the intensity of the mood between us. “You know,” I say, knowing Megan is chill. She won’t judge me and she’ll think it’s funny and mortifying all at the same time. “I puked all over him that night.”

Her mouth parts open as she giggles. “You didn’t!” Several people from the group look in our direction, blatantly studying me, but now I have a different perspective of it. I always thought the weighted stares were because I was doing something people didn’t like, but I’m starting to realize they always happened in the moments where I got a little more comfortable. Maybe people were surprised and every time I shut back down, they did too.

“Oh yeah. And he still likes me,” I continue, trying to keep the sadness over that thought from my voice and expression.

She laughs, hugging me to her side. “You guys are cute. He makes you glow.”