Chapter 4 Rafael
Rafe couldn't believe how fast Friday came. It seemed like just yesterday it was Monday. He hoped to see Andrew at the party. It was a long shot, but when he dropped the note with the party address and time, Andrew read it, then commented on it. Foggy Basin had nothing for gay men, so if Andrew was gay or bisexual, he might jump at the chance to attend a gay mixer. This might be the very thing to coax him out of hiding. He thought back to when Andrew had casually asked him about the party and if he was going. He'd seen a glimmer of hope in Andrew's eyes, but he had told Andrew he wasn't gay and not going to the party. He wouldn't out himself to anyone, including Andrew, unless he felt safe. The stakes were too high if anyone suspected him of being gay. There would be heavy consequences for his family and his job. If Andrew showed up at the party, Rafe could safely make a move on Andrew and ask him out.
As soon as he arrived at the mixer, he scanned the parking lot for Andrew's red sports car, but it was nowhere in sight, leaving him with a sense of disappointment. He walked around the side of the house to the backyard where everyone was. The bass thrummed in his chest as he scanned the surrounding faces. The yard was a mixture of laughter, flashing lights, and a sea of men in various states of relaxation. Some chatted around a grill piled high with burgers and plates overflowing on nearby folding tables. Others swayed to the music, a pulsing mix of pop and dance music, their drinks held high in a silent toast to the night. It was everything a gay party should be—vibrant, social, and buzzing with a hopeful energy. Andrew was the one person missing and the only person he wanted to see. He hadn't known how else to answer him when he'd asked if he was going to the party. If he'd said he was, then Andrew would know he was gay. This way, if he attended, it would be because he was gay or bisexual and looking for a partner or a hookup.
Rafael nursed his first beer, his eyes examining every newcomer. He hoped, with a fervent intensity that both warmed and chilled him, that tonight would be the night. With luck, Andrew would walk through the gate.
Caleb walked over to him. "Glad to see you made it."
"Remember I told you about this guy who wasn't out, but I think he's gay?"
"I remember you said you were working on a plan."
"Well, I sort of invited him. I'm hoping he shows up."
"Why didn't you just ask him out?"
"I don't know if he is gay, bi, or straight. So, I dropped a piece of paper with the party info. He picked it up and looked interested."
"You guys need to move to the city where you don't have to worry about nosy neighbors."
"It's not the neighbors. It's my parents and my job. The problem is, I love Foggy Basin and my family."
"I'm going to get another beer. Do you want one?"
"No, thanks."
When Caleb left to get a drink, Rafael noticed a young man approaching him, his blond hair almost glowing under the soft light, and his blue eyes reflecting a friendly curiosity.
"Hi, I'm Brody Anderson," the young man said with a hint of a Scottish brogue, extending his hand. "Just moved here from Scotland. And you are?"
Rafael took Brody's hand, feeling the firmness of his grip. "Rafael," he replied, his voice steady but his mind elsewhere.
Brody's smile was warm and inviting. "So, Rafael, tell me about yourself. What brings you to this mixer?"
"How about you tell me why you're in California?" Rafael sounded like an ICE agent looking for undocumented immigrants to deport. That wasn't his intention, but that was how it had rolled out of his mouth. The surprise in Brody's eyes revealed his shock at Rafael's tone. He needed to turn off cop mode. It wasn't appropriate in social situations. No wonder no one wanted to date him.
"I'm here trying to break into show business. I'm a successful actor and model in Scotland. It's been my dream to live and work here. Don't worry, I have a visa and a green card, in case you think I'm here illegally."
"You answered the question perfectly. I wasn't asking for your papers. Just why you're here."
"You sound like a cop. Are you one?"
"If I were, I wouldn't tell you. Are you looking for a hookup or a relationship?"
"Both. What are you looking for?" Brody examined Rafael meticulously, scrutinizing every inch of his body as if he were inspecting a prime cut of meat.
"I don't know yet."
"I bet you're a top." Brody's gaze landed directly on his zipper.
Rafael nodded and said, "Are you a bottom?"
Brody smiled. "Want to try me out?"
"I'll think about it." He winked at him, taking notice of him licking his lower lip. Does he want to give me a blowjob?
"Think about it? I'm hot! If you take too long, someone else might get lucky."
Rafael burst into laughter. It was clear Brody had an inflated ego, adorably sexy and constantly seeking validation and attention from those around him. "I'm here with a friend, so I need to find him to see if he wants to stay or leave. It was nice talking to you." Rafael had come alone, but he didn't want Brody to know that.
"I hope you think wisely, Rafael." Brody blew him a kiss.
"You never know."
Despite Brody's evident charm, Rafael's thoughts were with Andrew, his emotions a tangled web of loyalty and longing. Brody was indeed cute, his eagerness to make a connection clear in his bright eyes and animated gestures. But Rafael felt a pang of guilt with every smile he returned, every question he asked. It was as if each word he spoke to Brody was a silent betrayal of Andrew.
The party flowed around him, a colorful blur of joy and celebration, yet Rafael felt a solitude in his heart. He was there, but not truly present, his spirit anchored to someone not in attendance. Caleb was busy with someone he didn't know.
Once again, Brody appeared by his side, his face beaming, and a refreshing drink held in his hand. Damn, he's persistent.
"Still looking?" Brody asked.
"Not really. Just waiting for my friend."
"You never told me your last name?"
"I don't disclose private information to just anyone."
"I see. Are you out?"
"Not really. Family issues. I guess you don't have that problem here."
"I don't. Reason is no family here or Scotland."
"What do you mean, no family?"
"I was raised in a boys' home in Scotland."
"Sorry to hear that."
"Nothing to be sorry about. I'm out of there now."
Rafael couldn't help but feel a deep sense of pity for Brody. Nothing mattered more to him than his family. They were his everything. The idea of living in a home full of strangers without his family by his side was unfathomable.
Once again, they parted with a promise to meet again, a promise Rafael wasn't sure he could keep. Rafael smiled, a bittersweet curve to his lips, and turned away, his thoughts drifting to Andrew, the one who truly held his heart.
Two beers in, Rafael was resigning himself to another night of friendly conversation and lukewarm connections. Then he saw him. Andrew stood framed by the open gate, bathed in the warm glow of a nearby string of lights. He looked…incredible. Rafael felt a jolt shoot through him. Andrew, usually clad in khakis and button-down shirts at the diner, was a revelation in a fitted navy T-shirt that hugged his broad shoulders and ripped jeans that showed off the toned calves Rafael had only glimpsed before.
Rafael excused himself from a conversation with Caleb and made a beeline for Andrew. As he got closer, he saw a trace of uncertainty in Andrew's eyes.
"Andrew! Hey, I had a feeling you might check this party out," Rafael said, relief flooding his voice.
"Why are you here?" Andrew said, a hesitant smile playing on his lips. "This party is for gay or bi men."
"And?" Rafael chuckled. There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment, then Andrew blurted out.
"And—you said you weren't gay."
"Why didn't you ever say you were gay?" Rafael asked, brushing aside the little lie had told. Well, actually two. He had also said he wasn't going to the party.
Andrew's smile softened. "Honestly? I live in Foggy Basin and my parents and brother would kill me if they knew. And then there was you…"
Rafael's eyebrows shot up. "Me?"
Andrew laughed, a short, nervous sound. "Yeah, you. You're so…strait-laced, I guess I never thought…"
"Strait-laced? And for your information, I also live in Foggy Basin." Rafael echoed, a surprised laugh escaping him. "Andrew, come on. Have you seen yourself in those jeans?"
Andrew's cheeks flushed a charming pink.
Rafael took a chance and brushed his hand against Andrew's biceps. The contact sent a jolt through him, and something he saw in Andrew's eyes reflected his own desire.
"This is…" Rafael started, his voice thick with emotion.
"Great," Andrew finished for him, his gaze holding Rafael's.
Taking a deep breath, Rafael blurted out, "Would you like to go out sometime? Like, a proper date? Tomorrow night?"
A slow smile spread across Andrew's face. "I'd like that very much, but not anywhere near Foggy Basin."
"I know you live with your brother. How about you come to my house, and I'll drive us, unless you want to drive your new car?"
"If I drive, are you going to give me a ticket?"
"Depends."
"That's what I thought. Are you ever off duty?"
"Nope. I know you just got here, but do you want to head out and come over tonight so we can talk more?"
"I know where you live. Sounds like a good idea."