Chapter 10 Andrew

Andrew slid into the booth across from Cedric in their favorite bar. His relentless frustration left him agitated, no matter how he tried to push it down. This night he'd dreamed of with Rafael had ended abruptly, and his parents' appearance at the house definitely hadn't helped his situation. Hopefully, a night of drinks with Cedric could calm him.

After their beers were delivered, Andrew and Cedric took a sip and talked as if they were college boys again.

"What's going on?" Cedric asked.

"Remember I told you about this police officer I have a crazy crush on?"

"Yes, but he doesn't give you the time of day, right?"

"That's him. Well, to make a long story short, he sort of invited me to a mixer. A gay one. I decided to go, and he came over to me. We both admitted we have been afraid to say we're attracted to each other."

"So, what's wrong?"

"I hired his sister to work in my diner. Their family and mine have a blood feud going on. Her parents had this big fight with her, and she wants to stay with him. We were going to spend the night or part of it together at a motel. Then his sister called, and the date fucking ended."

"Have you come out to your family yet?

"No. That can't happen."

"So, you're both messing with your family's enemy? Don't you have enough shit going on being a closeted gay in a religious family?"

"Shit is exactly what's happening. My parents aren't talking to me until I fire his sister."

"Will they get rid of you from the diner?"

"No. They turned the diner over to Joe and me. So, I'm safe there. Though I'm sure they will threaten to disinherit me."

"And does that matter?" Cedric asked.

"It's a lot of money, but Joe and I are doing great without it."

"Is the police officer out?"

"No. He said we have to stay secret."

"All this secret shit is no good. Sell the diner and move to an inclusive area. You can't live like this all your life."

"I don't want to be living like this. I love it there, but I just want to live my life," Andrew said.

"But are you willing to tell your family you're gay?"

"No. At some point. I don't know. That's a tough one for me."

"It has been all your life. Live who you are. Is the officer ever going to come out?"

"Doubt it."

"Ask yourself if that's good enough for you."

"No. I should just stay away from him until he comes out."

Cedric listened intently, then a slow grin spread across his face. "Then you would have to come out, too."

Andrew nodded. "Yeah, I might not need to tell my parents since they're not talking to me…" Andrew trailed off.

"But they would find out anyway?"

Andrew felt an icy dread pool in his stomach. "I guess they would, and it would fuck up my relationship with Joe."

Andrew stared into his beer, the attraction to Rafael now tainted by bitter reality. He recounted how Rafael had taken him out for dinner, their conversation continuing until Gabriella's phone call. The lingering feeling of being chosen second was undeniable.

"Want to spend the night? It's kind of late to be driving." Cedric asked. They'd had an unusual relationship when they were in school. Roommates with benefits. Since then, they hadn't been together in that way.

The offer to spend the night and mess around in bed with Cedric was tempting, but he remembered Rafael had said he wanted to be an exclusive couple, and Andrew had agreed. There would be no more messing around with anyone else. But he and Rafael hadn't done anything and after the way tonight had gone, as far as he knew, they might never be together. For now, he would take the loss of one night in case something could develop between them.

"Can't. I'm in limbo right now and I don't want to ruin something I might have a shot at. I have to admit, it's tempting to mess around with you, though."

Cedric grinned. "Then let's order coffee before you leave. I miss our college days in the dorm."

"It was one of the best times of my life. Getting away from my parents and becoming the person I am. We had many memorable times together."

After they had two cups of black coffee each, they went their separate ways. On the drive home, Andrew turned on the radio and enjoyed the music and solitude. When he reached home, he found Joe had Mimi spending the night. He ducked in and greeted them.

"Where were you?" Joe asked.

"I met Cedric for a drink. I'm exhausted, but I'll open tomorrow."

"Thanks," Joe said.

He climbed the stairs, undressed, showered, then slipped into bed. Alone again. Andrew glanced at his phone when he went to charge it. He noticed four missed messages from Rafael. The screen lit up with Rafael's apologies, each message a soft echo of regret for the evening cut short.

Rafael: I didn't expect tonight to end this way. I hope you understand. Please don't be upset.

Rafael: I feel terrible about leaving like I did. You mean a lot to me, and I hate I had to rush off.

Rafael: Just know it's not about us. My sister really needed me. I'll make it up to you, I promise .

Rafael: Call me or text when you can. I'll be waiting to hear from you. Again, I'm so sorry.

Andrew felt a mix of disappointment and concern as he read. He understood family came first, but he couldn't shake off his sadness that their time together had been cut short so abruptly. Yet, there was warmth too, in knowing Rafael cared enough to send not one, but four messages. It was clear, even in such a brief exchange, that Rafael valued their connection deeply.

He stretched the cord to his bed and took a selfie of himself under the covers. He sent it to Rafael and attached a message.

Andrew: I'm upset we couldn't be together. I was really looking forward to the motel and snuggling in bed with you, but as you can see, I'm all alone. We need to talk in person about us. I want you more than you know. Can you meet me tomorrow night in Colton at the Irish Pub? Say around eight?

Rafael: What an adorable picture of you. Can't do that. I'm working the night shift. How about in the afternoon?

Andrew: I'm working tomorrow during the day.

Rafael: How about I visit you at the diner before I go to work, and we use that booth in the far back?

Andrew: Will you be in uniform?

Rafael: Yes. So, it will look like I'm discussing police business.

Andrew: Okay then.

Rafael: Good night! See you tomorrow. I want to see you every day.

Andrew: Night!