34. Sam

34

SAM

"Sit yourself down and tell me everything ya know; it won't take long." ~ Archie "Witty" Whitlock

I sat at the table, trying not to think about how much pain I was in as I watched Kenna across the room talking to Destiny, who was married to my friend JJ, and Delilah, who was married to his older brother Sawyer.

Her head fell back at something one of them said, and even though I couldn't hear the sound, I felt it spread through me like a shot of whiskey. A soothing warmth infused my bloodstream. That was how in tune we were with one another. My body physically reacted to her from a hundred yards away.

She truly was better than any pain medicine. I was doing much worse today than I had been yesterday. I don't know if it was the adrenaline or the IV pain meds that the hospital had pumped into my system, but this morning, I woke and felt like I'd been hit by a truck, which I had.

I couldn't lift my arm, and even breathing hurt. But the one thing that made me feel better was Kenna. Just looking at her, just being in her presence, soothed all my aches and pains.

"That sure was a nice wedding," Witty commented as he lowered down in a chair beside me at our table. He'd been cutting it up on the dance floor, back to being his onery self, and I couldn't be happier about it.

After he nearly passed out at the anniversary party, he saw his primary care physician, and they adjusted his blood pressure and heart disease medication. Within a few days, he'd bounced right back. He'd even put on the ten pounds he'd lost.

"It sure was," I agreed.

The truth was, I hadn't really been paying attention to the couple tying the knot during the ceremony or now at the reception. My mind and eyes had been on Kenna. Not only how beautiful she looked in her navy-colored, strapless, form-fitting dress, although that had taken up quite a bit of my mental RAM, but also, I'd been thinking about how I was going to talk to her, to spend time with her, and not tell her things I had no business telling her. How would I be able to stop myself from making promises I had no business making?

This morning, I'd had to leave her house to stop myself from doing just that. I'd laid in bed for over an hour after I woke up and had to bite my tongue to keep from confessing my feelings for her and admitting I wanted to be with her. Forever.

Witty leaned forward; a wrinkle formed in his forehead as he lifted his brows. "Son, when are you gonna get down on one knee and ask that girl to marry you?"

"What girl?" I turned to him, pretending I had no idea what he was talking about.

Witty just stared at me like I was an idiot.

I'm not sure why; maybe it was because I was exhausted after decades of denial, or maybe it was because I wanted him to tell me differently, but I admitted, "I can't."

"Why not? You've been in love with that girl since you two were knee-high to a grasshopper."

"You know why I can't."

Witty's face scrunched in confusion. "I sure as shit don't."

"I can't hurt her."

"What do you mean, hurt her?" His bushy gray brows knitted together.

"You saw what my dad did to my mom. I'm just like him. I'm just like you. I'm just like your dad." I turned back and looked at Kenna, wishing things were different, that I was different.

"First off, nobody's like my daddy. That man was one-of-a-kind, and I don't mean that as a compliment. And son, I loved your daddy. God knows I did, but you are nothin' like him."

"What?" My head spun back to Witty. "What are you talking about? From the time I was born, that's all anyone has told me. That's all you told me."

"Yeah, you look like him, hell yer his spittin' image—but that's where the similarities end. I don't mean to talk ill of the dead, but your daddy was a selfish narcissist who only cared about himself. He treated your mama wrong." My grandad's eyes watered as he sniffed back the emotion. "It's my fault. I didn't raise him right. After I lost your grandma, I just… I was a selfish, sarcastic asshole. I wasn't there for your daddy. Without his mama, I was broken. I didn't know what I was doing. I just was just foolin' around with anything in a skirt, tryin' to fill that void she left." He lifted his hand and wiped beneath his eyes with his forefinger and thumb. "I just wanted the pain to stop, even if it was just for a few minutes."

I'd never heard Witty talk about my grandma. I just assumed he'd treated her the same way my dad had treated my mom. "So, then, were you faithful to Grandma Louise?"

Witty's jaw ticked, and he stared at me with a look I hadn't seen since he caught me and Milo smoking in the backyard when we were thirteen. "You're damn right I was, son. That was my sweetheart. I never stepped out on her. From the first moment I saw that girl, I was hers. I never even looked at another woman. A love like that, it only comes around once in a blue moon."

"So all your…messing around, that was only after she died?" I tried to make sense of what he was saying.

All my life, I'd grown up thinking that fucking everything that walked was in my DNA. I was a Whitlock, so, therefore, I was a womanizer. I'd seen the damage my father did to my mother, and I always assumed it was the same fate my Grandma Louise had suffered.

"You're damn straight. I'm a one-woman man. That woman just happens to be in heaven right now. I might try to distract myself, but I could never give anyone else my heart. My Lulu had it since the first time I laid eyes on her, and I know she's takin' care of it until I see her again." He laid his hand on his chest, and more tears filled his eyes.

I sat, dumbstruck at what I'd just heard. I wasn't sure I knew how to process it.

"My daddy, and your daddy, they made their choices. They lived their lives only carin' about themselves. That's not you , son. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. And guess what, it belongs to that redhead over there. She is your blue moon love. That kinda love—that's bigger than any DNA. That's the kind of love that heals the sick, that moves mountains, that lasts a lifetime, even if that life is cut short."

I looked over at Kenna as what Witty said sank in. Tears began to pool in my eyes. Everything I believed, everything I based my life on, had been a lie. Now that I was seeing the truth, I couldn't imagine how I'd believed so much bullshit for so long. It's like I'd been brainwashed, and it had taken Witty all of five minutes to set me straight.

"So, I'll ask you again, son, when are you gonna get down on one knee and ask that girl to marry you?"

Without responding, I stood and headed across the room. I had no plans on proposing; that was bad form at a wedding, but I was going to get a few things straight, like the fact that I was completely in love with Kenna and had been since I was, well, as Witty so eloquently put it, I was knee-high to a grasshopper.

When Kenna saw me walking toward her, she stopped the conversation she was having and headed my direction. We met halfway across the room, which was nice for me because, besides breathing, walking also hurt.

"Can we dance?" My throat was tight as I held out my hand.

She looked shocked by my request but also very concerned, presumably because my eyes were watering. "Are you okay?"

"No." I pulled her into me and wrapped my arms around her. I tried to hold her tightly; I just needed to be as close to her as I could, but she pulled back and lifted her head to look up at me.

"What's wrong?" she demanded. "Is it your head? Is it your ribs? Your shoulder? Your knee?"

"No. It's me."

"You?" Her eyes searched mine, then she looked up and down my body, trying to find some clue about what I could possibly be talking about.

"Yes. Me. I'm an idiot."

She tilted her head as a smile formed on her perfect fucking lips. "I mean, I've been telling you that for years."

"I know. You were right." My arms wrapped around her tighter. Now that I was holding her, I never wanted to let her go. I thought about all the years I'd wasted, convinced I would be bad for her. I could have lost her. I felt tears begin to form in my eyes.

"Hey, I was kidding. What is it? What's wrong?"

"I love you, Kenna."

"I love you, too," she quickly replied, just like she did every time I told her I loved her.

She wasn't getting this. She didn't understand what I was telling her.

"I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you since you went off that bike ramp and crashed, and I cleaned your knee."

Her eyes widened. "You have?"

I nodded. "You stood up, and you could barely walk, but you kept your head high. Then, when I was picking the gravel out of your knee and I poured the hydrogen peroxide, you just pursed your lips as a single tear fell down your cheek. You were such a badass, even then."

As if on cue, a single tear fell down her cheek. I lifted my hand and wiped it off.

She leaned into my touch and grinned. "I wanted you to think I was tough."

"I did. I wanted to kiss you that day. And I've wanted to kiss you every day since. But I didn't let myself. I wouldn't let myself, because I thought if I did, I would hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you like my dad hurt my mom."

Her brows furrowed. "What? Why would you think that you?—"

"All my life, all I've heard was how much I was like him. Him and Witty, and my great-grandfather," I cut her off. "But I'm not them. I'm sorry, so sorry; I didn't see the truth before. But now I do, and I don't want to waste one more second without you knowing that it's you. It's always been you. You're it for me, pretty girl. I don't want to be your friend. I mean, I don't want to be just your friend. I want to be with you. I want you to be mine because, fuck Kenna…I'm yours."

She didn't reply; just lifted up on her toes and kissed me. The second her lips touched mine, I felt like the rest of the world had just disappeared. Nothing else existed. It was just me and Kenna floating in our bubble.

It wasn't until I heard cheers erupt around us that the bubble popped. She broke our kiss and looked around. The entire room was on their feet, cheering for us.

"Finally!"

"It's about time!"

"Took you two long enough!"

And more shouts of encouragement could be heard over the applause and whistles. Kenna chuckled as she looked back up at me.

"I love you," she whispered as she cupped my face. "It's you. It's always been you."

I leaned down and kissed her again. And then the world disappeared again. It was just us, floating in our bubble.