3. The Love of Finn’s Life

THREE

THE LOVE OF FINN’S LIFE

A s I push open the door to Anita’s Place, the rich scent of dark roast coffee greets me like an old friend. The bell above the door chimes merrily and a woman looks over at the sound. One of the great loves of my life.

“Finn! What are you doing here? It’s not Tuesday.” Anita Marshall comes over and pinches my cheeks like I’m a little boy instead of a grown man in his thirties.

Today she has her long braids flowing freely down her back and she’s wearing her usual uniform, a light blue dress with a frilly white apron. The sight never fails to bring a sense of comfort. No matter what else happens, this place never changes. It will always have a checker-tiled floor, formica booths and the best apple pie that has ever crossed these lips.

“I’m meeting the guys here. We figured, why not hang out with one of our favorite people at the same time?”

She beams and then walks me to my usual booth near the front window. “Is Luke coming too?”

“He should be.”

She claps her hands. “Good. Maybe he’ll bring the baby. I’ll take any extra Grandma time I can get.”

As she turns to leave, I touch her arm gently. "Hey, Anita? Do you mind if I ask your opinion on something?"

She pauses. "Of course. What's troubling you?"

I frown slightly. "Why do you think something's troubling me?"

Anita gives me a knowing look. "Finn, you and your brothers are like extra sons to me. I knew something was wrong as soon as you walked in. Now, what's going on?"

Her tone is gentle but the look on her face is no-nonsense. I wither slightly under her direct gaze. Geez, no wonder Luke said he never got away with anything growing up.

"I want to get a second opinion on Rissa’s Christmas gift.” I pull out my phone and find a picture of the necklace I’ve been thinking about buying.

“It’s beautiful,” Anita says after taking a look at the picture. “But I’m sure that’s not what you’re really asking. Because there aren’t many women who would be mad at a diamond necklace.”

“It has the children’s birthstones in it. I thought it would be a meaningful gift.” I sigh. “But the things that I think are meaningful haven’t been going over so well lately.”

Anita squeezes my arm gently. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

"First, I got her this expensive coffeemaker that I thought she wanted. But when she opened it, she looked disappointed.”

“When did you give her that?”

I wince. “On her birthday.”

Anita smiles. “Well, I understand that some people don’t like getting appliances for birthday or Christmas gifts. But I’m sure she knew you meant well.”

“I thought it would make her happy. Then I got her one of those exercise bikes they kept advertising on TV. That was even worse. She started going to the gym more so I guess she thought I was saying she needed to exercise?” I drop my head down onto the table.

Anita slides into the booth across from me. "I won’t pretend to know what she’s thinking. But it sounds like she's more worried about the thought behind the gesture.”

I ponder her words. "You think it's more about me than the actual gift?"

"Exactly," Anita confirms with a nod. "Talk to her, Finn. Any gift is wonderful if you know it’s coming from someone who truly loves you."

"Thanks, Anita. You always know what to say."

She pats my hand and stands up. "That's what I'm here for. Now, I’ll go get your pie. That’ll clear your head.”

I’m still thinking about what she said when she drops off my pie. As usual, she’s cut me the perfect slice, just bursting with apples and topped with a huge dollop of whipped cream.

Perfection.

A few minutes later, I’m halfway to heaven when I hear Anita’s excited chatter again. One of my brothers must have arrived. Sure enough, a few seconds later Gabe and Zack appear at my side.

“Don’t stop on our account.” Gabe grins as they slide into the other side of the booth.

“Not planning on it. Believe me when I say this pie has my full attention.”

They both snicker and immediately it feels like old times. We haven’t hung out as much lately but whenever we get together it feels like no time has passed at all. Which makes me realize how much I’ve missed these assholes.

“It’s been too long.” I finally relinquish my fork long enough to bump fists with Gabe and shove Zack’s shoulder affectionately.

He looks down at the remains of the pie on my plate. “Your blood has to be fifty percent sugar at this point. How are you alive?”

I laugh at that. Zack is diabetic so he watches his diet very carefully.

“Who says I am? But if an apple pie coma is how I die, then what a way to go.”

Tank appears then and I slide over so he can sit next to me. “Luke can’t come. Apparently the baby won’t stop crying.”

I shudder in sympathy. “I remember that stage.”

Gabe and Zack exchange looks.

I bump Tank in the side. “We should stop talking. We’re going to scare the kids.”

We all share a laugh before Gabe leans in. “So what the hell is going on with this budget thing?”

Tank scowls. “Gentlemen, our wives have conspired against us.”

I roll my eyes. “Way to be dramatic. I assumed the budget was more like a suggestion . I’m sure they don’t actually expect us to only spend one hundred dollars."

Zack's brow arches. "The horror. Next, they'll be suggesting we fly commercial."

We all glare at him which only makes him laugh.

Tank leans over the table. “It’s not a suggestion. They are serious. Emma is on this whole kick about having a real Christmas. Like we’ve lost touch with our roots or some shit.”

“Wait, we’re actually supposed to stick to that budget?” I look back down at my plate, wishing I hadn’t eaten my pie so fast. I’m suddenly in need of comfort food.

“Yes,” Tank growls. “Which is madness, of course, but Emma seems really upset about how much money we’ve been spending lately.”

Gabe shrugs. “I mean, we haven’t spent that much? Have we?”

Anita comes back then with drinks for the guys and a slice of key lime pie for Gabe. He thanks her before eating half of it in one bite. I look at Zack pointedly. I’m not the only Marshall brother with a sweet tooth.

Once Anita is gone, I lean over. "Okay, so what are we going to do? Are we really only giving our wives one gift for Christmas? Because I don’t want to stick to that and then one of you assholes shows up to the cabin with diamonds. Then I look like the cheapskate.”

The atmosphere at home is tense enough without making it worse. Rissa has started some workout regimen that eats up her entire afternoon and all she seems to eat is salad. I don’t want to say anything negative since it’s nice to see her excited about something for once but I’m worried about her dogged determination to fit back into her pre-pregnancy clothes.

Maybe she thinks I’m completely oblivious, but I’ve noticed how she looks at herself in the mirror. Now she won’t even walk naked from the bathroom to the closet. Instead she has taken to wrapping herself in a huge robe the instant she gets out of the shower. Even worse, I know she’s avoiding taking her clothes off anytime I’m around. When we have sex, it’s always under the covers or with the lights off now.

Part of me thinks her new gym obsession is just a way for her to shower somewhere that I can’t see her.

The idea that she feels the need to hide from me is like a dagger to the heart. Especially when all I want to do is show her how incredibly beautiful she is to me.

"Earth to Finn." Zack's voice breaks into my thoughts.

"Huh?" I blink, finding the others eyeing me with a mix of concern and amusement.

"You took a trip to the moon, buddy. Everything alright?" Gabe's eyes narrow as he looks me over, as if he can see straight through my suit to whatever it is I’m trying to hide.

I’m not convinced he isn’t a mind reader. Maybe it’s his con artist past but he has an uncanny way of getting you to spill your secrets before you even have a chance to hide.

“Just thinking about this whole budget thing. I don’t want to get it wrong. The last thing I need is another reason for my wife to avoid me.”

Zack clears his throat. I look up to catch the others exchanging uncomfortable glances.

“Sorry. I’m just frustrated. No one tells you having kids means your wife forgets how beautiful she is and assumes you did, too.”

Tank nudges my arm. “It sucks but it does get better. Emma went through the same thing.”

I lean forward, my hands wrapped around my coffee cup like it's a lifeline. “Listen if this budget thing is what the girls want, then I guess we have to do it. After all, there’s no point giving gifts that they don’t want.”

“True,” Gabe says but the glint in his eyes shows that there’s more he isn’t saying. Sure enough, he looks over at Zack before continuing. “But who’s to say what’s a gift, anyway? If we get creative with the definition..."

Tank leans in. " Go on ."

Gabe lowers his voice. "It's simple. If it's something for the house, it's not a gift. It's a necessity. A new TV? Necessity. A fancy blender? I mean, you need that to make protein shakes. That’s just being healthy. And if your car breaks down, what are you going to do? You need a car.”

I eye him skeptically. “All their cars are new. Why would they break down coincidentally right before Christmas?”

“Don’t let the suit fool you,” Gabe drawls. “I’m still a mechanic. If I need a car to break down, I can make that happen.”

Zack holds up a hand right in front of Gabe’s face. “Hold on. This is getting a little “The Godfather” isn’t it?”

Gabe shoves his hand down. “I’m just saying, we’re all experts in getting around rules when it suits us.”

Tank rubs his chin. "So, we can still spoil them—just under the guise of practicality."

"Exactly." Gabe nods. "It's all about perspective."

Zack throws his head back, letting out a hearty laugh. "Perspective? I can’t wait to have the perspective of when Sasha hands you your ass.”

"Alright, so we’ll all stick to the budget officially ,” I say. “But we’ll spoil them rotten on the side."

I stick my fist in the center of the table. Tank and Gabe put theirs out immediately. Zack just stares at us.

Gabe nudges him. “Oh come on. You know you don’t want to buy Josie just one gift either.”

Finally Zack heaves a sigh and bumps his fist against ours. “For the record, this is a terrible idea. But I can't wait to watch the show when they figure out what you’re up to."