34

Iopened the front door and stood in the doorway, staring blankly at nothing. Why did I have a feeling I was leaving something? I checked my pockets. I had my car keys. My phone too. What else did I need?

"Logan."

What the hell? What were they doing here? Not just Crowe but one, two, three, four—yup, four bikers—stood on the porch. They didn't look happy, but I had no time to figure out what I'd done to piss them off. I had to go to the hospital.

"Look, guys, I would invite you in, but I need to go to the hospital." I'd only come home to shower and change my clothes. It was bad enough I'd fallen asleep while putting my shoes on. "If you've held your little meeting and decided to beat me up, you'll have to wait."

Crowe frowned. "Jamie was right. You're losing reason."

"Jamie? Who's Jamie, and what's he right about? I assure you I have all my mental faculties still intact."

"Grimm's Jamie? He works at the hospital with you?"

Oh, right. He was talking about James. Why was I so slow today?

"What is he right about?"

"You've been spending too much time at the hospital. He asked us to check on you."

"Well, you've checked, and I'm fine. Now, out of my way."

He didn't budge. I sidestepped him, only to be stopped by the bald, tattooed man who had his arms crossed.

"Not so fast. How about we go back inside and have a chat?"

"We don't have anything to talk about. Bloom needs me."

"Bloom's still unconscious." Saint moved to stand next to Crowe. "It's been eight days, and you spend all your time in his room. This is not what Bloom would have wanted."

I gritted my teeth. "You're going to stop me from going to the hospital?"

"Not permanently," Crowe said. "But for a few hours until you get proper rest, yeah. Look at you. You haven't shaved, and your clothes are all rumpled. This isn't the man Bloom fell in love with."

"You expect me to worry about my clothes when he's lying in the hospital still unconscious?"

"Yes."

"On what grounds?"

"On account of when he wakes up and sees you looking like shit, he doesn't request my head for not having fulfilled my promise to him that I would take care of you."

I scowled, pulling my shoulders up to my ears. What did they take me for? "I'm not a child. I don't need you to take care of me."

"You might as well be one from the way you're acting and not listening to reason. If you go to the hospital, will you get Bloom to wake up?"

I opened my mouth but found myself lacking an answer. Or rather, I knew the answer but didn't want to voice the truth. My presence at the hospital frustrated the staff. I got in the way of their job, questioning everything they did while taking care of Bloom. I had seen the exasperation in their eyes more than once but refused to acknowledge it, didn't want to admit my presence wasn't helpful at all.

I wasn't used to feeling this helpless. So many years of experience under my belt and all I could do was sit next to him, hold his hand, and make promises about a future we weren't sure of. But he was already off the sedatives and would wake up at any moment. I wanted to be there.

"You don't understand. I have to be there."

In case something went wrong. In case it was the last time he took a breath. I didn't want him to feel alone and afraid. I wanted him to know I would never leave him.

"Look, no one gets it quite like we do. We all had a hand in raising Bloom. He's family. Our little brother. And we know how much he cares about you, so we can only carry out his wishes. Please go back inside the house. After you've had a decent rest and some food in you, you can go to the hospital."

Could I make a run for it?

Bay cracked his knuckles. "I don't want to do it, but if you leave me no choice, I'll have to knock you out."

Huffing a sound of disgust, I marched back inside. True to their word, they followed me until I walked into my bedroom. I couldn't even feel upset about it. I was so exhausted. The minute I lay on my bed, I drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep.

When I woke up, the sun was high in the sky. My limbs felt heavy and lethargic, not from exhaustion but like someone who'd overslept. The time on my phone showed I'd only slept for an hour, though. Why then did my body feel so weighed down?

I dragged myself out of bed and trudged to the mirror. Crowe hadn't been wrong. I looked like a wreck. My usually smooth hair was disheveled, and my eyes were red and puffy from lack of sleep and constant crying. The stubble on my cheeks resembled an overgrown lawn. I barely recognized the man staring back at me.

My throat was parched, so I headed down the stairs. Why was it so quiet? Had the bikers left? The aroma of something sweet and spicy hit my nostrils. My stomach growled in response, surprising me. I followed the scent into the kitchen and found Bay sitting on one of the stools, feeding a baby.

"Where did she come from?" I didn't remember Crowe, Saint, and him bringing a baby with them. Had I been more tired than I'd thought?

Bay spooned carrots into the baby's mouth, making a ridiculous face that had his child giggling. The sweet sound somehow felt wrong when the whole world should be black. God, he loved black. My throat thickened.

"Ger had to go to the urologist, so I brought her with me. He'll pick her up once he's done. By the way, I heated the food we made for you yesterday."

"Yesterday?"

"When we were here."

"You were here yesterday? Where was I?"

Bay frowned at me, his hand held in midair. The little girl grabbed his hand and tried to force the spoon toward her mouth.

"What day do you think it is?"

"Tuesday."

"Not quite. It's Wednesday."

"Wednesday? Impossible."

"Like we said, you were exhausted."

I'd spent twenty-four hours without seeing Bloom?

"He's doing fine," Bay said. "Sit and have something to eat. Since you're awake, I can take my girl home, and you can go see Bloom."

Because I knew it was better not to argue with him, I ladled some of the aromatic stew simmering on the stove onto a plate and took a seat at the island. "Where are the others?"

"They left. We've been staying here on shifts. Crowe stayed the night, and I got here this morning."

I took a bite of the stew, and the flavors exploded on my tongue. Warmth spread throughout my body, reminding me I hadn't eaten anything decent in days.

"Who made this?" I asked.

"I did." Bay smirked without taking his eyes off Gift. "Why? I'm not the best cook, but I've been learning to help Ger with everything at home."

"No, it's good. Real good."

"Or you're just starving."

"True."

I gobbled up the stew while Bay fed and played with his daughter. Her delightful squeals made me smile. I'd never wanted children, but watching how good he was with her was heartwarming.

"So…you and Bloom."

"Yes."

"You know, the day Bloom met you, and he went after you, I never expected him to have his way."

"What are you talking about?"

"It might have been better had you met my expectations. For reasons, we're all protective of Bloom."

"I can tell."

"It won't ever go away, so you'll have to put up with us for a lot of years."

"Already figured that one out."

"What exactly do you want with him?"

I shrugged. "The same thing you expect from your partner."

"So not short term?"

"No." My stomach flipped. Over the past few days, I'd received a slew of messages, but I had ignored them. I was pretty sure what they entailed. My identity and location were blown. Given this wasn't the first time, I knew what they would expect: relocation.

"You all right to get to the hospital on your own?" Bay asked.

A lump formed in my throat. I'd thought all these men Bloom was associated with would want to drive a wedge between us, but they were the ones who were treating me like family. "Yeah, I'm just going to wash up and head out."

"Then I'll take little missy home. If you learn anything new, call us."

"Of course."

By the time I finished my shower, dressed, and returned downstairs, Bay had left. On the kitchen table, he'd left a list of numbers where I could reach him if I needed anything. I folded it carefully and slipped it into my wallet.

On the way to the hospital, my phone rang. I ignored it and let it go to voice mail. It rang again. After the third time, I knew the caller wasn't going to give up.

"This is Dr. Collier."

"Dr. Collier, this is your gardener. The autumn leaves have fallen early this year."

My stomach clenched. This was it. The call I'd been dreading. It might have been ten years, but the secret code still lived vividly in my mind.

"It's not that bad, is it? Surely, we can wait a while before we rake it."

"Unfortunately, the longer we put it off, the more leaves will pile up. Do you understand?"

They wanted to relocate me already?

"I'd rather wait until the leaves pile up some. It's too premature."

"I'm not sure you understand how serious the situation is. The gardeners in New York don't wait for all the leaves to fall before they get to work."

Shit. Shit. Shit. His mention of New York was enough to make my heart race. "This isn't New York. I'm afraid I'll have to insist. I'll call you if I change my mind."

I ended the call before he could remind me of the danger of what I'd just done. It was almost a week. New York might already be in Smoky Vale.

I can't leave Bloom.

At the hospital, I made a beeline for Bloom's room. Nurse Hatchett ran after me.

"Dr. Collier, the CEO is here along with the Board of Directors. They've called a meeting and expect you to be there ASAP."

I'd seen the notice about the meeting, but just as I'd ignored it yesterday, I intended to ignore it today as well. "Is he awake?" I asked.

"No, sir."

"Then I can't meet with them. Please convey my apologies."

"But, Dr. Collier—"

I entered Bloom's room and closed the door behind me, the heavy wood muffling Nurse Hatchett's protests. Bloom lay motionless, his steady breathing comforting. I swept my gaze over him for any visible signs of distress or discomfort in case anyone had been neglectful while I was away. Rationally, I knew the staff was capable and worked hard. They weren't slackers, but I had to make sure.

I checked his vitals, then consulted his electronic health records to read the last reports made on his condition. He'd experienced bouts of wakefulness while I was away. Thank god. Everything seemed steady with no signs of deterioration.

I gently brushed a stray curl from his forehead, then traced a familiar path down his cheek. "Why do you insist on being so stubborn?" I whispered. "Don't you know how valuable you are to me? What makes you think I can live without you? I need you, Bloom, so you better wake up soon."

A knock on the door brought an end to my vigil. James. What was he doing here? I wasn't in the mood to handle his meddling.

"You look much better," he said.

"I suppose I should thank you for interfering?"

"I didn't do it expecting thanks. I already knew you would be pissed at me, but you were running yourself down. We can't let that happen. You're too valuable to the hospital. To Bloom."

"So why are you here? Your shift has ended, hasn't it?"

"Yes, but I thought I'd sit with him so you can attend the meeting. If they're discussing you and your conduct, you should be there to defend yourself."

"What can I say? I'm sure everything they'll say is true."

"But you can set the tone and make the context clear. Dr. Simms is there, you know."

"What does this have to do with him?"

"Well, he is Bloom's psychiatrist. He volunteered to speak on Bloom's mental health."

I could just hear his waspish voice condemning me for being in a relationship with Bloom. It was one thing for him to paint me as incompetent but another completely for him to make Bloom out to be a helpless guy who didn't know what he wanted.

I pointed my finger at him. "You don't leave his side."

"I won't. Hurry. I don't want to lose you from this hospital. Your work here is so important and has made such a difference."

"Not everyone thinks so." He must think I didn't know of those staff members who blamed me for not showing up earlier to prevent the lives of those who had been lost. I hadn't bothered to clarify that I would have, had Bloom not tied me up.

"Don't pay any attention to them. Everyone's still shaken up from what happened. At least they're beefing up security and have approved the work that needs to be done to upgrade the facilities."

A little too late.

When I entered the conference room, the meeting was already in session. Members of the hospital's disciplinary committee sat rigidly around the long oval table, their expressions ranging from stern to somber. At the head, Andrews, the CEO, presided, fingers tented. Next to him sat Dr. Simms. To round off the committee was the human resource director, a representative from the board, a member of the ethics committee, and the hospital's legal adviser.

A chilled hush fell over the room as every pair of eyes turned to me. I focused on Dr. Simms, who stopped whatever he was saying. The man pursed his lips into a tight line.

"Apologies for the delay," I said curtly, claiming the nearest empty chair.

"It's nice of you to finally grace us with your presence, Dr. Collier," Andrews said, his beady eyes glinting with disdain.

"Dr. Andrews," I said, my tone frosty but professional. It wasn"t worth stooping to his level of pettiness. He was only too glad to rope me and reprimand me before everyone because I'd been hounding him about the work that needed to be done on the hospital.

"Dr. Simms, why don't you continue with what you were saying?" Andrews said.

Dr. Simms adjusted his glasses. "As I was saying before Dr. Collier interrupted, the relationship between him and my patient referred to only as Bloom has raised ethical concerns that warrant our attention. Despite the professional boundaries clearly outlined by our institution, there have been instances of…personal interactions between them that could be seen as compromising. I brought this to Dr. Collier's attention, but he chose to ignore my warning and persisted in this inappropriate relationship. Some of their intimate contact has happened right in this very hospital building. It is downright unethical."

I frowned. "Unethical in what sense, Dr. Simms? Had you engaged in a relationship with him, it would have been unethical because he is your patient, not mine. What I do intimately to a consenting adult is frankly none of your business. In fact, it makes me uneasy how much interest you seem to have in my relationship with my b-boyfriend."

I'd said it out loud. Bloom was my boyfriend, and there was no taking that back. I wouldn't want to take it back either.

The room went silent for what felt like an eternity. I met Dr. Simms's gaze, his cheeks flushing a deep shade of red as he struggled to regain composure. I'd caught him off guard, and for a moment, it felt good. What they didn't know was that my time at Smoky Vale was more than likely up anyway, so I had nothing to lose.

If we have to relocate you again, we'll have to recommend a change in your job.

"Dr. Collier, you will have the opportunity to speak," Andrews said. "Please allow Dr. Simms to continue. Let's not forget this is a professional hearing."

"Thank you, sir." Dr. Simms fixed his glasses. "Dr. Collier doesn't seem to understand the severity of what he's done. You see, my patient is a rather unique man whose mind works in peculiar ways that is fascinating to study."

"You're supposed to be helping him, Dr. Simms, not treating him like a lab rat." Maybe I should have paid more attention to Bloom explaining he didn't feel comfortable with the psychiatrist.

"I am trying to help him, but he's declined since you began your relationship with him. You see, Bloom has several mental—"

"Don't you dare!" I climbed to my feet, glaring at the doctor. "You already violated Bloom's privacy by divulging the nature of his conditions to me. You do so in this hearing without his permission, and I'll see to it you're sued so hard you won't be able to afford the paper to write your prescriptions."

"This is a disciplinary hearing and—"

"He's right, Dr. Simms," the legal adviser said. "Unless you have permission to discuss the patient's conditions with us, you may not be specific in this hearing."

Color rushed into Dr. Simms's face. "Be as it may, Dr. Collier's relationship with my patient is affecting his treatment."

Andrews rubbed the bridge of his nose. "But you did treat this young man recently, didn't you, Dr. Collier?"

"Yes, I did."

"Which means your argument that he wasn't a patient of yours is invalid."

"That's not the case. I attended to a singular injury on Bloom's person. He was never a patient of mine. In fact, I was familiar with him before that incident." I let out a sigh and rocked back in my chair. "What are we really doing here? Is this necessary right now?"

"I assure you it is. Dr. Simms mentioned you having intimate relations with the patient on hospital grounds. Is this correct?"

"We kissed once, and he saw us."

"Was that all that happened between you here at the hospital?"

I laughed, shaking my head at Andrews. "Why can't you be honest about your agenda here? You're not looking to find fault with my conduct. You want me to take the fall for the incident, isn't it?"

"Well, the way you went about conducting yourself during the hostage situation—"

"Had nothing to do with this. You know what the real issue is? You decided to cut funding drastically this year and let go of a third of the security personnel. The repairs we needed done should have been finished a long time ago. Had that been done, those assailants would not have been able to access the hospital through that temporary entrance. That is what you need to address as the lawsuits pour in, not trying to make me a scapegoat."

I rose.

"We're not finished here, Dr. Collier. This is your career on the line. Don't think because you're one of the best trauma surgeons that we won't fire you if you walk out that door."

"You don't get it, do you? You've brought me here with some asinine reason while the person I care most about is suffering from injuries. I am this close to not giving a shit, so now's not the time to press me. You're looking for a scapegoat to take the fall for everything that went down at the hospital, but if you so much as target that young man or me when we have nothing to do with this, you will regret it."

"Are you threatening me?"

I didn't answer him. As far as I was concerned, everything was already crumbling around me. How long could I stay when my face had been plastered so many times on national television in coverage of the hostage situation that there was no hiding who I was from those who wanted me found?

The Agosti family that I had turned my backs on. They wouldn't let me go a third time.