19

The anger and authority in Logan's voice directed at Crowe made my heart pound. I wanted to cover my ears and find a place to hide. But I couldn't hide from the sensation Logan's questions evoked. My chest ached, and tears pricked my eyes. I fought against the instinct to sit on the floor, pull my feet up to my chest, and whimper. He"d voiced questions I'd been asking myself before we arrived in Smoky Vale but was never brave enough to ask.

Why had Crowe never made me a part of his family? Bloom. That wasn't a real name, and I had no surname. Whenever I went somewhere that required an ID, I had to use the fake one Crowe had made for me. Once I'd overheard some of the bikers in Riverton mention that Crowe wouldn't adopt me, wouldn't give me his surname, wouldn't register me as a living entity because as anonymous as I was, no crime I committed could lead back to someone who didn't exist.

While their explanation had made sense, my mutism had hit hard as I battled with conflicting emotions about what made sense and what seemed cold. I wasn't just someone who killed. I wanted to belong too. But I'd never told Crowe how I felt, so hearing Logan fire the questions at him left me speechless.

How did he know?

"You think I didn't want to give Bloom my name? Do you know how many times I almost did? But it was in his best interest that there was no record of his birth." Crowe sounded exhausted as if he had to pull every word from his vocal cords like a defeated sigh. "I wanted to keep him safe."

"You're not making sense."

"When I found him, many thought it was better for him not to be alive. I refused to accept that and was determined to make him normal or as normal as possible. Which resulted in losing a lot of help along the way. He would seem to be doing better, and then one thing would set him off. We realized it got worse in November. That was the month we found him, the month he killed his parents. And every November, it's like a switch gets flipped, and he becomes the worst possible version of himself. We had to lock him up and sedate him in November, Doctor. Is that someone you think the government needs to be aware of?"

"I see."

Logan did? Because I didn't.

"I'm not going to pretend I was an expert at raising him. I had no good example, but I gave him the best damn life I could have given the circumstances. The Bloom you see today may have a lot of issues, but you're welcome. You never have to know what he was like before I took him under my wing."

"You're right. I'm sure you've done your best, and you care about him. I just hate to see him second-guess himself this much and be so vulnerable."

Crowe chuckled. "He's only this way with the people he cares about. You best believe he doesn't act like this around others. They fear him because all they see is a killer without a conscience. Only a select few know how much of that little boy is still inside him, and that's why I came here when I found out he spent the night with you. For a second time. He's made you a part of that circle. Don't abuse that, and we won't have any issues."

"I won't."

I pushed off the wall, let out a breath slowly, and walked into the kitchen. With these two men, I couldn't pretend, because they knew me better than anyone else. Even though I'd met Logan a few months ago, he saw right through me.

"Are you two done trying to hatch ways to control me?"

Crowe snorted. "What are you talking about? You're his problem now. I can catch up on eight years of beauty sleep."

"I think that ship's already sailed."

"Little asshole. I'm gonna go. Walk with me."

I glanced at Logan, who nodded.

"You do what he tells you now?" Crowe asked as we walked out of the house, but his voice held genuine curiosity .

"Kinda."

We stopped at his motorcycle.

"You look happy," he said.

"Yeah."

"He's good to you, then?"

I nodded. "I know you don't want me to be with him."

"It's not him, Bloom. I don't think you're ready for a relationship yet, mainly because I'm worried about what will happen to you if someone breaks your heart. Most people develop crushes over a lifetime and learn to deal with disappointments. You invested everything into this man from the get-go while you knew nothing about him."

"I guess I got lucky, but you're right."

"Say that again?"

I rolled my eyes. "You were right. I thought I was in love with him before, but I wasn't. Not truly."

"And now."

"He's the one."

The way he cared for me and made me vulnerable so he could be there for me was nothing I'd ever hoped for, but I liked it. Liked that I didn't have to be the tough one around him.

"If he hurts you, I'll break his legs."

I inhaled deeply. I still might not understand why Crowe didn't give me his last name, but I had no doubt he loved me. I hugged him. "Thank you, Crowe."

"For what?"

"For loving me first."

He patted my back. "Well, don't take it seriously. The therapist said I should tell you—uff."

I elbowed him in his stomach. "Quit playing. You were like a father to me."

He winced. "Ouch. Now I feel like an old man."

"Max doesn't mind, so—" I shrugged. "And by the way, I get it. The way you are with Max. I may spend more time here now, but if you need me for anything, call me."

"Eh, we can do without you for a while so you can catch up on what we've all been doing since we were teens." Laughing, Crowe hopped onto his motorcycle. "I'm proud of you, kid."

I watched Crowe go, my chest hurting as if I'd lost something. But that was ridiculous. He would always be my brother. Even without the name.

Logan was no longer in the kitchen. I climbed the stairs and found him in the bathroom, naked, while he brushed his teeth. How many naked bodies had I seen? Too many to count, but Logan's was different. My heart beat wildly, and my hole ached.

I wanted him so much.

Logan spat toothpaste into the sink. "Did your talk go well?"

"Yeah. What did you two talk about?"

"Just sharing concerns about your well-being."

"And?"

"And what?" I sat on the floor and wrapped my arms and legs around his feet. He gave a startled laugh. "Bloom, what are you doing?"

"I won't let go until you tell me what you talked about."

"I already told you. We talked about you."

"You can't lie for shit, you know that? You asked him about my name."

He turned the faucet on and rinsed out his toothbrush. "You were eavesdropping. Is that how a good boy behaves?"

"I don't want to be good. I want to know the truth. Why did you tell him you understood why he didn't have me registered?"

"I'm going to shave. You don't want to hang on to my legs and have me get nicked by the razor, do you?" He picked me up like I were a doll and placed me on the counter. He protected my forehead with a hand while he opened the cabinet and got out his grooming supplies.

"Logan, please tell me. I've asked myself that question many times."

"Why didn't you ask Crowe?"

I shrugged. He'd already done so much for me without asking anything in return. How could I have asked him for more?

"All right. If Crowe had registered you by giving you his last name, the state would have taken you away. Given the condition you were in, he wanted to protect you from being committed and further abused."

"Oh." That made more sense than wanting me to stay anonymous so I could kill anyone for the club without getting caught.

"Yes, from what I gathered from our little chat, he seems protective of you." He squeezed shaving cream onto his hand and lathered his face. "Was there anything romantic between you two?"

"Me and Crowe? No way! I told you. I've never been interested in anyone until you."

"I see." He swiped the razor across his cheek, watching me in the mirror. "Well, that's a relief." He removed another layer of shaving cream from his jawline.

"Why? Would you have been jealous?"

He stilled the razor. "At first, I was. Now I understand your relationship better. Do you want to shave me?"

"I don't know how to use a razor. Don't you see my face?"

He pressed his lips to mine, smearing shaving cream on my cheek. "That's what I want to do every time I see your face." He grabbed a towel and wiped the cream from my face. "Here, I'll show you how to do it."

"You trust me with this?" I ran my thumb over the sharp edge of the razor, the cold steel biting in my skin.

"Yeah, after all, it's my balls you're after, not my neck." He took my hand and guided it toward his cheek. "Gently now."

I held my breath as I glided the razor over his skin. It was much harder than I thought, and I had to concentrate on not pressing too hard. The soft scruff of his beard scraped against the metal blade. The trust he showed in me, allowing me to hold something so sharp against his skin, stirred something deep within me.

"Am I doing good?" My voice was barely above a whisper, uncertainty threading through it.

"You're doing wonderful, sweetheart." Logan's tone was soothing and encouraging, just like we were in bed. I swallowed as my cock hardened against his shirt. How could such a simple act turn sexual? The way he watched me tenderly made it difficult to breathe. All the blood seemed to have rushed to my cock.

With each pass of the razor, the shaving cream diminished, revealing the smooth skin beneath. Logan's approving sounds and the warmth of his gaze bolstered my confidence.

"Done," I said, a note of pride in my voice as I lowered the razor to the sink and admired my work. "Do you like it?"

"Yes."

"Then this is my job from now on. No one else is allowed to shave you."

He sighed. "Yes, your Royal Bossiness."

He rinsed his face, washing away the last remnants of the cream. He patted his skin dry with a towel and turned to me with his hands high on my thighs. "Now, how can I repay you?"

I bit my bottom lip, my heart skipping a beat. I caught the hem of my shirt and raised it to my waist, revealing my hard-on.

"Naughty boy. Did it turn you on to shave me?"

"I don't know how, but yes."

"You want me to go down on you?"

"Yes!"

He chuckled softly, spat in his hand, and stroked my length. I clenched my shirt in my fist. "Oh."

He lowered himself so he was on eye level with my lap. "Don't forget to breathe."

Anticipation curled in my belly, and then his warm lips closed around me. I bit my bottom lip to stop the slutty moan from escaping. I never thought I'd be this needy for a man's mouth on my body. Logan worked his mouth around me, the silken pressure overwhelming my senses. The squelch of my cock hitting the back of his throat echoed in the bathroom.

"Logan…" I dug my fingers through his damp hair. "Feels so fucking amazing."

An image flashed through my mind of Logan's tongue running over my hole. I scooted lower until I was half lying on the vanity, clutched the backs of my knees, and pulled them into my chest.

Logan released my cock, licked my balls, and ran his tongue down my taint. With one hand stroking me, he slipped the other down to my hole, and I let out a hiss. Despite his gentle care in prepping me last night, it still hurt there.

"Sore?" he asked.

I nodded. "But I can take it."

"You need time to rest."

"But—"

"I'm not going to fuck you with my cock right now, Bloom. We have forever."

Oh fuck. Forever sounded so good. But like a long time too. I didn't want to wait that long to experience again what I had last night. Maybe… I made a mewling sound.

"What do you want?"

I lowered my eyes to indicate without saying the words. He grinned. "Come now. We both know you're not shy. Tell me."

"I want you to lick my hole like you did last night."

"Enjoyed that, did you?"

"Yeah. I don't know why it feels so good, but it does."

"Then I'll make a meal out of you as long as you're a good boy. Deal?"

"Yes. Why do I get the feeling you're stalling?"

"So impatient."

He laughed lightly, tracing his fingers over my hole. I shivered under the gentle touch. His fingers moved in circles, and I breathed out noisily. His breath brushed over my skin. He was close but not quite there. I whimpered in frustration and tilted my ass up to his mouth.

"Patience." He pressed a soft kiss against my hole. "I want to savor you."

I bit my bottom lip hard enough to taste the metallic tang of blood. He spat saliva on my hole and slid one finger inside me.

"Still so tight."

"Is that a good thing?"

"It's a very good thing, Bloom."

"Good. I want to be perfect for you."

"You are perfect for me the way you are." His tongue replaced his finger, smooth and warm, fluttering against my skin. I cried out at the contact, my body arching off the vanity as pleasure flooded me. He held me still with one arm around my waist, delving his tongue deeper, relentlessly fucking my hole.

"Logan…" I moaned out his name as an ache built deep within me.

He lapped faster, beating against my overly sensitive flesh in a rhythm that left my head spinning. His hand moved in sync, stroking me in the same desperate tempo. My vision blurred as the pleasure rose to an unbearable crescendo.

"Logan!"

My world exploded, and stars danced across my vision. I screamed out his name as I came. At the last moment, he covered the head of my cock with his mouth. I bucked, my body convulsing and twitching. Every nerve in my body was on fire. He lapped up the cum trickling down my cock, his hand milking every last drop from my spent body.

Logan pressed soft kisses along my cock and then back to my hole. The slow swipe of his tongue ended each time with the most intimate kiss. His hot breath against me stirred waves of aftershocks through my sweaty body. I was too spent to move, too overwhelmed to do anything but let Logan have his way.

And too out of it to realize what he was doing until he grunted. He shot his cum right on my hole, warm and unexpected. My body jerked at the sting.

"Logan…"

He caught my ankles, widened my legs, and lapped up the cum dripping from my hole, his tongue greedily tracing the trails of his spend. I watched him with heavy-lidded eyes while he paid attention to me, to us. His gray eyes met mine, and for a second, everything stood still.

"Was that what you wanted?" he asked.

I nodded. I was robbed of speech, but for the first time, it wasn't from terror. It was the overwhelming pleasure and happiness that had silenced me.

He tilted my chin and kissed me. He tasted bitter and minty at the same time. "I'm off today. We can do whatever you want."

"Yeah?"

"Hmm. I'll need to do some grocery shopping, but you can stay here while I do that."

"No, I'm coming with you. I don't want to be apart from you."

"All right, then. It may be a good idea to stop at the clubhouse and get a few things."

"Why? I love wearing your clothes. They look better on me anyway."

Logan laughed. He pressed his face to my neck, his mouth curling up in a smile against my skin. "You still need a few suitable things for when we go out. I want to take you to a proper dinner tonight."

"But we can order in. I'm not picky about food."

"You don't get it, Bloom. We did everything the wrong way, and I want to make it right. Let me take you on a date."

I sucked in a breath. "A real date?"

"Yeah."

"You want to date me."

Logan pulled back his head and frowned. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"I've never been on a date."

"Dammit, Bloom." He heaved a deep exhale of breath.

"What?"

"I love the idea of being your many firsts too much. It's settled. I'll take you to a restaurant tonight, but whether we go back depends on how you behave."

"I'll try my best, Dr. Collier."

He grunted. "When you call me that, I'm not convinced."

I grinned. "I promise to behave or—or you can spank me if I don't."

He stroked my cheek with his thumb. "Are you sure?"

"Yep. I'll be anything you need to be with you, Logan. Anything."