13

Slumped in my chair with my hoodie over my head, I listened to Crowe's tirade. An emergency meeting had been called, and every biker in Smoky Vale who wore the Blood Hound patch was in attendance. Except for Winter, who was barely hanging on for life. No one but Crowe, Saint, Bay, and me knew the full extent of what Winter had gone through, and we were keeping it that way. For that reason, we'd had him admitted at the private hospital rather than Smoky Vale Gen, where Jamie and Logan worked.

I clenched my hands into fists. The images of him when we'd found him wouldn't leave me alone, even after more than a week. I woke up at night soaked in sweat from illusions of me in Winter's position. I'd tripped, my rage uncontrollable, so Crowe had confined me to my room. No one had been allowed to talk to me except my brothers. They'd taken my communication devices. I hadn't been able to so much as twitch without one of them looking in at me. They took turns guarding me, not trusting my restlessness. I didn't blame them. The ugliness in me emerged, pushed to the surface by Winter's incident.

Crowe had been even more overprotective when he saw the cut on my thigh. He was afraid I would do something stupid, even though I told him I wouldn't. That I'd known exactly what I was doing when I took that knife to my thigh. I'd lied about how I'd gotten the wound, knowing he would only oppose me being in a relationship even more.

He didn't believe me anyway.

Saint's mom had called me every day to provide therapy over the phone. Thank fuck for her. She'd convinced Crowe I could be trusted to go hunting, so they'd brought me camping yesterday and let me loose on nature. We'd hauled back all my kills and had a bittersweet feast. The physical activity had eased my need for blood, but I was still restless. It'd been too long since I'd seen Logan.

"We can't afford to have any fuckups during this time while we're under surveillance. Again." Crowe placed his hands on the desk, the scar on his face standing out against his skin.

"I don't know why we have to halt our drug distribution because of him." Tango glared at me. "Psycho over there is the one who killed that man."

"Better be careful, Tango." Mouse chuckled. "Wouldn't want to wake up with a knife stuck in your throat, would you?"

Tango squirmed. I drummed my fingers on the arms of my chair, attention fixed on each movement, each quiet tap of a finger hitting the wood. As long as I stayed focused, I wouldn't do anything rash. If I showed Crowe I had my emotions under control, he would let me leave the clubhouse, and I could finally see Logan.

It's been a week. Has he forgotten me?

"You listen here, Tango. I can't control your thoughts, but I can control your ability to speak. Keep talking that shit, and you won't have to worry about Bloom."

I smiled as the room fell quiet. Crowe was an unassuming leader, acting chill and interfering little. Gunner always handled the meetings, but when he took over and reminded them who was boss, that shit made me proud to be one of his brothers. The only man they needed to fear more than me was Crowe.

"One of our own almost died." Crowe's Adam's apple bobbed. Oh hell. I sat up straight, ready to go to him if he needed me. He and Winter were close. They'd been together for longer than the rest of us. What happened to Winter had shaken him up. He cleared his throat. "Sure, what Bloom did got him picked up by the police, but thanks to Ben and the dirt Grimm's tech guy found on the new chief of police, he got away with it without them poking into his identity. We won't always be this lucky. We won't always have leverage to dig everyone out of their hole, so be smart, keep your head down, and walk away when you can. We don't want to lose any more members when we're still trying to rebuild this club."

"Agreed," Gunner said. "You assholes better listen up. I'll be the first to kick your ass to the curb if you step out of line."

"But it ain't fair. We're not the one causing the trouble," Tango said. "Since they came into town, everything's been shit."

"You mean the mess they had to clean up after this club got involved in trafficking babies? That aside, you've been in the club long enough, but you don't have a clue about brotherhood. If you can't figure out what that means, Tango, maybe this club ain't for you."

If I weren't in such a shitty mood, I would have applauded Gunner. Crowe wasn't in a fuck around mood, so I kept my cool.

I have to get out of here.

"Just a reminder that next month we patch our new pledges," Gunner said. "We'll have a meeting with them alone after this. The rest of y'all can clear out."

Crowe stepped out to answer his phone, and I made to follow him, but he shook his head. Relieved when Gunner wrapped up the meeting, I rose to my feet. As I walked past Tango, I couldn't refrain from leaning in, my hand in the pocket of my hoodie. He jumped back as if he feared I would knife him. Laughing, I took out a stick of watermelon-flavored gum.

"If I were going to fuck you up, I'd let you see it coming." I popped the gum into my mouth. "Only a few people have the honor of calling me a psycho to my face and live to say it again."

"You think I'm afraid of you?"

"Are you?"

His flaring nostrils and labored breathing showed his fear. Didn't he realize how hard his chest was rising and falling?

"Bloom!"

Rolling my eyes, I stalked over to Crowe. "I didn't do nothing."

"Is that why Tango looks like he just shit his pants?"

"We were just having a friendly conversation. Didn't you say you wanted me to have more friends?"

"Stay away from him. His bark's worse than his bite, and I don't need you stirring up trouble."

"Who was that on the phone?"

"Sarge. He wanted to know about Winter's condition."

"Oh. Did you hear anything new?"

Crowe doubled his hands into fists and shook his head. "He's breathing on his own but still in a coma."

"Can I go see him?"

"Is it Winter you want to see or have an excuse to be off the compound so you can chase after that fucking doctor again?"

"Can't it be both?"

He pushed a hand into his pocket and came up with my phone. "Here, you can have this back."

I eyed him suspiciously. "Did you go through it?"

"I thought about it. Only because I know you've been hiding shit from me and I want to know how deep this thing with the doctor goes, but I didn't. I won't violate your privacy like that. As much as I don't like it, you're not a little kid anymore." He heaved a sigh and rubbed his nose. "Between you and Winter, you've got me so worried I can't even give Max the attention he deserves. For god's sake, Bloom, I have to put Winter first right now, which means I can't keep track of your whereabouts. You need to give me your word that I won't have to worry about you."

"I don't go looking for trouble."

"But you don't show restraint either. If you feel the urge to kill anyone, use our buddy system. Call me or Saint. Bay has his family, but he's always there for you too. You don't have to go through all this shit by yourself. It's November, and I need to know you can handle it. We've been through enough Novembers, haven't we?"

Shit. Did he always have gray hair? Granted, a few strands, but still. I had to be the cause of at least one—or all of them.

"You don't have to worry about me."

He took my arm and pulled me out of earshot from the two prospects who entered the room. "Do you need to go hunting again?"

"Not now."

"Good. Let me know."

I powered on my phone as I walked with him to the mess hall, where the other bikers had gathered for a drink and a game. A couple of women who hadn't left last night lingered. One was in a corner on her knees, gagging on a biker's cock. I inhaled sharply at the memory of Logan's mouth swallowing me down.

I needed more.

"By the way." Crowe slapped my back, jolting me out of my daze. "Sarge's driving through soon and will stay for a few days."

"You know why he's coming, don't you?"

Crowe chuckled, but it sounded weary. "Yeah."

"He thought he was being slick, but he was definitely smashing Chris when he was here last Christmas."

"Jesus Christ, Bloom."

"What did I say? Isn't that the right term?"

"You know how you always say the first thing that comes to mind?"

"What of it?"

"Practice saying the second, no, make that the third thing, just to be on the safe side. I shouldn't have let you hang around with these bikers when you were so young. For years, you couldn't speak, but you were soaking up every foul thing coming out of their mouths."

"Their? Don't you mean ‘our'?"

"Yeah, yeah. Get out of my face. I see the reverend is here."

I didn't follow Crowe as he walked across the room to a tall, distinguished-looking man dressed in black with a white clerical collar and a cross pendant around his neck. Why the hell was he here? He was associated with the Grimm Reapers, not us.

My phone came on in an explosion of text messages and missed calls. Logan had sent me a text message. "Why did you leave?" He'd also called me twice on the day I'd run out on him.

The rest of the missed calls were from Jamie earlier today, a slew of text messages, one right after the other.

What the hell, Bloom? I helped you with Dr. Collier because I thought you were serious about him.

Will you at least tell me why you haven't been around?

I know something's going on at the club, but Grimm says everyone's been hush-hush about it.

If you want to be with Dr. Collier, you need to call me now or lose him forever.

I swear, Bloom, if you don't call me, I'm done. I'm no longer helping you.

In case you're interested, Dr. Collier has a date tonight. A DATE!!!!

What? I'd been reading the messages in order, and as soon as I saw the last, I punched in Jamie's number. Crowe was frowning at me. Dammit. I forced a smile to my lips and walked out of the mess hall.

"Bloom, where the hell have you been?" Jamie asked.

"Is it true? Is he really going on a date with someone else?"

"Yeah, I was there when the dude asked him, and he said yes."

I gritted my teeth to bite back the anger that wanted to roar out of me. How could he go out with someone else after the last time we'd been together? Did he not take me seriously about cutting his balls off?

"Who's this guy?"

"What are you going to do?"

"What the hell do you mean? I'm going to eliminate the problem."

"Listen to me, Bloom. You can't hurt him because you don't want him to be with Dr. Collier. That is not how you solve the issue."

"Ain't it? Because if he ain't breathing, he can't fuck with my man."

"Your man! You've been missing for a week. Did you two have some sort of agreement before you disappeared on him because it doesn't sound like it? You need to work this shit out with Dr. Collier and come to an understanding of what you mean to each other. That man has nothing to do with it."

"He does. If he didn't exist, Logan wouldn't be going out with him."

"He'd just go out with someone else. I'll only tell you what I know about him and where they're going to meet if you promise me you will not hurt this man. That's the fastest way for you to lose Dr. Collier."

"Just tell me what you know."

"Bloom—"

"I won't fucking hurt him." But I couldn't let Logan go on a date with him either.

"All right, then. Listen to me and do exactly what I say."