27. Dream

Chapter 27

Dream

F our days. Ninety-six hours. Five thousand, seven hundred, and sixty minutes.

That's how much time I have left until everything changes. Until everything I've ever known disappears. Until there's no going back. It's done. The pieces are laid and sealed.

As is my fate.

My father told me that change should be welcomed, that nothing ever remains the same, nothing is constant. I've known this my whole life, but I'm slowly realizing that it only applies to humans, to emotions, to the circumstances and thoughts that make up our whole existence.

All the changes in my life have been at the hand of someone else. Controlled and crafted to ensure that I follow a certain path, that my life, the only one I have, is never really mine.

I'm changing that. I'm finally taking control and deciding that, perhaps, we don't get only one life. We get as many as we choose to live. If we choose to live. If we're granted that gift.

I close my eyes, basking in the warmth of the sun and the light, gentle breeze that's flowing through my hair. There's freedom in the wind. I feel its power, its carefree energy. It's soothing, like a whisper from the heavens. It's drowning the bustling noise of Whitehill Terminal, muting all the voices, letting me know that, at this moment, there is nothing to fear.

My cell phone rings again and I squeeze my eyes shut tighter. There is nothing to fear. I am safe. I am protected. I am safe. My phone keeps ringing. I know it won't stop. He won't stop. He needs to stop.

"Hello?" I say with a sigh.

"You've been avoiding me," Hayden says, his hoarse tone a clear indication that he's as tired as I am. I don't reply as I have nothing to say, no lies on the tip of my tongue. "Camilla..." He lets out a long, troubled breath, and my own lungs expand with fear, once again. "Say something..." He pauses. "Please."

"I'm going to Staten Island," I whisper, glancing over the orange ferry. "It's Zoey's birthday today." I swallow, checking my phone for the time. "She should be here soon."

"Cami..." Hayden sighs and I can almost see the disappointment in his eyes. "I... I think we need to talk about what happens after?—"

"There's nothing to talk about, Hayden," I say, adjusting my sunglasses. "It'll all be over soon and we'll both... We'll both wake up in different worlds."

"You can't run from this, Camilla," he says. "I know I fucked up but I'm trying here..." He softens his tone as if words will somehow change circumstance. "What I feel for you?—"

"Stop." My heart clenches in my chest as I bite my lip. Don't cry. "Please just stop, okay? I can't... I can't do this, Hayden." I can't lose something if I never had it to begin with. "Just let it go, okay? I'm not—" I swallow. "I don't hate you, okay? I don't." A tear rolls down my cheek, and I wipe it away quickly before anyone notices. "I forgive you, I just?—"

"You're afraid," he observes astutely. "I understand, Camilla. I do but?—"

"But what, Hayden?" I ask. "There are no buts. Once the deal goes down...that's it. It's over. Our paths diverge and it's done." I pause, my chest tightening. "I'll always be a criminal in the eyes of the law, Hayden, and you are the law. See? There are no buts."

"I don't have to be," he whispers in a lowly tone. "I could?—"

"No," I state firmly, gasping for air. "I won't let you. This is your life, Hayden. You should live it the way you want, without anyone forcing your hand."

"Forcing my hand?" He lets out a cynical chuckle. "It's like you don't know me at all. Camilla?—"

"Maybe I don't," I say flippantly. "Maybe that's the problem, Hayden. I don't know you, do I? All I've known were lies." I swallow. "I think what we have... It'll fade. It's just...temporary, okay?" I clench my fist as I see Zoey and Leo in the distance. "It's just lust, Hayden. It'll... it'll pass."

"Cami—"

"I gotta go now," I say quickly, hanging up. "Ferry's here."

Sucking in a stabilizing breath, I flip up my sunglasses and force a smile as I get off the bench. "Happy Birthday, Zoe," I say as she comes in for a hug. I tense up for a second before I give her a squeeze. I catch a glimpse of Leo, the bags under his eyes more dramatic than the past few nights. "Have you slept at all?"

"How can I?" Leo shakes his head, lethargic and drained. For his sister's sake, he manages a small smile as the ferry arrives. "Let's go, birthday girl."

Zoey's face glows as she watches the ferry dock. "Thanks for this," she says quietly, glancing between me and Leo. "I know with everything going on, the last thing you guys probably want to do is ride merry-go-rounds and stuff but," she shrugs. "But it was some of my favorite memories." She smiles. "The three of us."

Leo and I exchange an uncomfortable look as if those memories aren't ours, as if they're not real. But they are. Somewhere, hidden under all the dust and dirt, fond memories do exist. It wasn't always bad. It wasn't always evil. Zoey remembers. Despite everything that she's gone through, that's she's seen, that's she's heard, she still remembers.

"Remember," I clear my throat, looking at Leo as Zoey leads us down to the embarking zone. "Remember when you ate like twenty mini donuts and had to use Zoella's hat as a bucket?"

Leo blinks. "Jesus... That must have been like?—"

"Thirteen years ago," Zoey chimes in, smiling as we walk onto the ferry. "My tenth birthday." She giggles, reminiscing. "You were so mad that Dad made you take me and Cami."

Leo rolls his eyes. "Well, I was seventeen, and I probably had better things to do than babysit my baby sister and—" he glances at me, a genuine grin on his face, "—a nerdy fifteen-year-old who wouldn't shut up about Justin Bieber."

My jaw drops. "It was a phase."

"Mhmm..." Leo smirks. "I wonder if I still have those videos of you dancing."

"Shut up." I shove my elbow into his ribs as we find three seats at the front of the boat. "Not another word."

"I completely forgot about that, actually," Leo laughs, sitting down next to me as Zoey lingers above us, scanning the ferry. "Could've been blackmailing you all these years."

"Ha-ha," I chide, rolling my eyes. "Cute."

"I'm going to go to grab a soda," Zoey says, glancing down at us. "You guys want anything?"

"No thanks," I say, looking playfully at Leo. "Donut, perhaps?"

"Funny." He scowls at me before smiling at his sister. "I'm good." Zoey skips away, lifting away the temporary rose-colored glasses. Leo rubs his eyes, giving me a dubious once over. He lifts a brow. "You're wearing jeans."

I snort, leaning back into the wooden seat as I cross my legs. "I'm trying to blend in."

"Yeah..." Leo sighs, looking into the distance. "Guess you've gotta start somewhere." He stays silent, watching the seagulls soar. "Mils..." He looks over at me, apologetic and hurt. "I swear I didn't know." He shakes his head, closing his eyes. "I would have never allowed them to?—"

"I know," I say, placing my hand on his knee. "I know you didn't."

"Good." With a melancholy smile, he dwarfs my hand with his, giving my fingers a squeeze. "This is all so fucked up, Mils. I... I still can't process it." He swallows, jaw locking. "I knew our parents had secrets, it's part of the job but..." He sighs, releasing a heavy breath. "I'm sorry." He meets my weary gaze with a look of old love. "I shouldn't have left you. I should've stayed. Maybe then..."

"It wouldn't have changed anything," I say. "Daniel would still be dead, and The Council would've still gotten their way."

"But you wouldn't have been alone," he whispers in a hoarse tone. "You were all alone."

"It's fine." I shrug, glancing inside the ferry. "I had Zoey."

"She was a kid," he says, hanging his head. "She's still a fucking kid. Jesus, Mils."

Chewing on my bottom lip, I carefully choose my next words, "Listen, Leo." I swallow. "I know that this is probably really hard for you and Zoey. Your relationship with your parents is, umm... It's different than mine, and I?—"

"They're all guilty," Leo mutters under his breath. "They all lied...to you...to me..." He scowls, looking at me, but I'm not the target of his disgust. "We're supposed to be a family, Mils. And family's supposed to take the pain away, not cause it."

"Not our family," I say, swallowing away the vile taste in my mouth. "Ours is different."

"Yeah, I'm starting to see that now," Leo says, his gaze flitting around my face. "That, umm...that doctor Zoey mentioned, you're sure it'll?—"

"Yes, Hayden confirmed," I say, regretting mentioning the doc but Leo doesn't react, at least not in the way I expected. He gives me a weak smile. "What?"

"Nothing," he says, eyes softening as he tilts his head. "So, uh," he clears his throat, moving his hand away from mine. "So everything's set to go?"

"Mhmm," I hum, nodding as I place a palm over my chest. "All set."

"I'll be there with you," Leo says, catching the terror that's suddenly graced my face. "I'll make sure it all goes according to plan." With an unwavering conviction in his tone, he adds, "I promise, Mils. I won't leave you."

"Good, I'm counting on it," I say as my phone rings. Again? Seriously? I check the caller ID, jerking upright. "It's him."

"Answer it," Leo says, a glimmer of hope in his tone. "Maybe he'll?—"

"Hello?" I say, answering the call.

"Hi, bambina," my father says. Conflict battles in my heart as his voice fills my ears. Maybe Hayden was wrong. Maybe he was mistaken. Maybe he didn't do it. Maybe. "Have you confirmed everything with Alba and," he grunts. "And Zhao? "

"Yes," I say, closing my eyes. I fucking hate maybes. "All good to go."

"Excellent," he says. "Your mother and I are very proud of you, you know? You've proven yourself a worthy successor."

"Thanks," I say, biting my lip. "Any chance you'll want to be here? To witness my rise to fame?"

"Ah, no can do," Dad tuts, clicking his tongue. "We've got some business here ourselves, but why don't you fly over after it's done, eh? You deserve a little fun in the sun, kid."

I let out a controlled scoff. "Yeah, that's a good idea. Bali's always been on my bucket list."

"You'd love it here, Cami," he says. "The beaches are pristine. Your mother went swimming with the sharks yesterday, it was glorious."

"Sounds dangerous," I hum. "Could've gotten killed."

"Your mother? No way," he chuckles. "That woman would survive the damn apocalypse."

"Can I... Can I talk to her?" I ask timidly. One last time. "If she's there."

"Sure," Dad says, hollering, "Maria! It's your daughter. She wants to say hello."

"Fine." I hear my mother's moody voice, and the receiver on the other end shuffles. "Hello?"

"Hi Mom," I say, nervous. "How are you?"

"Me? I'm always fine, Camilla," she states curtly. "And you? Still running a whorehouse?"

I grit my teeth. "It's a club."

"A club?" she scoffs. "It's a house for heathens. You should really think real long and hard about where you want to end up after this life ends."

"Really?" I let out an incredulous laugh. "You're judging me for running a business? A business that pays for your entire lifestyle, might I add."

"Trust me, dear," she says. "I make certain your father doesn't buy me anything with that dirty sin money of yours."

I blink. "Dirty sin money, huh? God, you're such a fucking hypocrite."

"Oh, Camilla," she scolds. "Watch your language with me. I'm not one of your little friends."

"No," I say as Zoey waves at Leo and me, three sodas in her hands. "No, you're not."

"It's late, Camilla," my mother yawns. "Goodbye."

"Bye," I hum, hanging up. I look at Leo and shake my head. "They're not coming."

He meets his sister's gaze as she hands him a drink. "Then we can't fuck up."

"Here." Zoey passes me a soda, holding hers in the air. "To old times."

And new beginnings.

And endings.