40. Kieran

Chapter forty

Kieran

My heart beats a steady rhythm in my chest as we make our way towards the hall where, apparently, Deacon's entire pack is waiting. Chaya leads us, and Drew's on my left, Lucien half a step behind.

I don't like him not being next to me, but the hall's too narrow for the three of us to walk side by side. Besides, I can feel him through our bond.

That's enough.

I take another breath, forcing my thoughts to settle. I can worry about the reasons why Jeremiah and Paxton are here once this is done.

I need to deal with this. I need to make sure Hale leaves and that everyone understands that I'll do whatever it takes to protect my own.

Chaya pushes open a set of double doors and I square my shoulders as I walk into the room.

At first glance, it reminds me of the hall I was dragged into at the clan house the night Lucien and I met. A pulse of amusement through the bond tells me Lucien has similar thoughts and I swallow my smile.

I'm doing this for Drew, of course. For Adam and Sam, too, because they won't be able to work everything out if Drew leaves.

But a selfish part of me knows, deep down, that I'm doing this for myself. For me, and for Lucien, in an attempt to prove to us both that I really can keep us safe.

"Careful, my love," Lucien murmurs.

His low voice does delicious things to my insides, and I turn my head just long enough to wink at him before I turn my attention back to the room.

It's full around the edges, almost all wolves, and Hale stands across the way from me. A few weeks ago, I'd have cowed under the weight of these stares.

Now, I lift my chin and look at Lucien again. "No promises."

Lucien huffs, just like I knew he would, and I squeeze his hand before I step further into the room.

Drew comes with me. Lucien and Sam will keep the others safe where they are.

Alpha Deacon waits in the centre of the room.

He's abandoned his suit jacket, his shirt sleeves rolled up to expose his forearms. There's a coiled strength in him, and his power is heavy, but when his gaze meets mine, I don't look away. Showing weakness now would be like baring my throat to Hale before we even begin.

Drew keeps his gaze down next to me, but I'm sure Deacon's expression softens a little when he looks him over.

"Kieran Robinson," Deacon says, and I'm almost surprised to hear my chosen name on his lips. "You have challenged Alpha Hale Chartwell. Are you ready to proceed?"

"I am."

"If you win, Alpha Hale will be banished from London. That is what you requested?"

"Yes."

"And if you lose, Alpha Hale will be given the opportunity to plead his case to me as to the pack loyalties of your brother, Andrew Maynor."

Drew flinches.

I grit my teeth. "Yes."

Pleading a case doesn't automatically mean Drew will have to leave. I unclench my fists.

Deacon looks at Hale. "Alpha Hale."

Hale steps forwards, his grey eyes flashing with malice. I smirk at him. Maybe he doesn't know it, but I do—in some ways, the challenge has already begun. If Hale goes into it angry, he'll lose, no matter the advantages he has.

"Do you agree to these terms?"

"I do."

"Very well." Deacon nods at Drew, who ducks his head and hurries back to the edge of the room. Paxton reaches for him, drawing him into the group, and I'm not surprised when Adam and Sam step up on either side of him. Lucien stands at the front, Jeremiah to his right, and Ophelia and Dante bring up the rear.

My worries settle when I look at them. Yeah. I can do this.

"The usual rules apply," Alpha Deacon says. "This is not a fight to the death. Should one of you kill the other, you will be punished in accordance with pack law, accident or not. Non-fatal injuries are acceptable. The challenge ends when one of you submits, or if you are unable to continue, or if I or one of my betas believe that to allow the challenge to continue would lead to a fatal injury. Do you understand?"

I nod. "Yes, alpha."

"Yes, alpha."

"Good. Now, as we are all aware, this is not a usual challenge. Kieran, your father is a wolf, and you were pack-raised, so you have a right to proceed. However, I cannot in good conscience allow—"

"Let him shift," I say.

It's risky, interrupting an alpha—especially this alpha—but I knew before I came here that I'd have to do this. Triumph gleams in Hale's eyes. The rest of the room goes still.

A wave of confidence comes from Lucien, and it bolsters my resolve.

"You do not have the ability to shift," Deacon says. "If I allow Alpha Hale to do so, he will have an extreme advantage."

I lazily move my gaze from Hale back to Deacon. "I wouldn't have challenged him if I didn't think I could win, no matter his shape. I don't want him or anyone else thinking they can challenge me just because they can shift. Let him do it."

Deacon stares at me for a moment. It takes effort to hold his gaze again, but I manage it until he looks at Hale.

"Alpha Hale?"

There's always the chance that Hale could refuse and continue the challenge the way Deacon so clearly wants it to be carried out. I hope he doesn't. I'm relying on his competitive nature—his entitled desire to take what he believes to be his. If Hale fights me as a man, there might be others who believe him to have lost out of pity, or out of some desire not to hurt me too badly.

"Kieran issued the challenge," Hale says, all but spitting my name. "I'll follow his wishes."

His smile is smug. I fight my own. No need to get complacent.

Deacon sighs. He takes a step closer to me and I frown up at him.

"I hope you know what you're doing," he says, voice low enough that I know the wolves around the room won't make out the words.

I nod once.

Deacon steps back. Hale rolls his shoulders, beginning to pace on his side of the room. We have a large space in the centre of it, and the wolves move around, those at the front prepared to take the brunt of it should our fighting spill over.

I don't look back at the others, but another wave of affection comes from Lucien before I tug back on the bond. We talked about Hale before coming here. About my approach. About pulling the bond back so that when I inevitably get hit, Lucien won't feel my pain.

I need to be able to focus, too.

Drew wasn't wrong. It's been a while since I've gone up against a wolf.

He just doesn't know how good I am at it, either.

Hale paces at the other side of the circle. I stand still, knees loose, my arms by my side. Deacon steps between Chaya and his other beta, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

"Fight."

Hale shifts instantly. He's a little bigger than I expect, broad and tawny brown, but not even close to Drew's size, so when he comes barrelling towards me, I duck, catching him around the chest and pushing him back.

Teeth snap near my ear. I shove him aside and take a step back. Blood rushes in my ears. My awareness narrows to just me and him.

I'm not going to let him hurt Drew.

I'm not going to let him hurt anyone I consider mine.

We dance around a little at first, Hale's teeth snapping whenever I get too close. He works out quickly that he needs to be sneaky, fast, and I'm going to have to be decisive about it.

Hale growls and pounces, knocking me to the ground, and I hear distant gasps. I ignore them in favour of getting a hand around his muzzle and rolling us across the floor. Claws rake down my side. I let out a pained breath as my skin splits, fire licking my skin, then deliver a punch to Hale's ribs that makes him yelp.

He tosses me off him and I roll before I get to my feet. Blood sticks my T-shirt to my side. I exhale heavily through my nose when I move. The scratches are deep. Deacon and his betas are watching closely, but they don't move to call the whole thing off.

Dad trained us to fight vampires, sure, but he pushed me harder and harder every year I didn't manage to shift. An alpha's son must be strong , he always said, and it was clear where he thought true strength lay.

Jeremiah and Paxton helped, too. Showed me how to take down an opponent who was stronger. Faster. Use what you've got. What I have is my own strength, my own anger, a righteous ball of fury in my chest, and the people behind me, who I know will take care of Drew no matter what.

Hale comes at me again, and I know what he wants to do. I can see it in his eyes. Killing me—it might be worth the punishment.

Drew would give in and leave. Even if Hale couldn't escape Deacon's clutches, he'd win.

That's not going to happen.

He aims for my leg and as he clamps his teeth around it, I kick him with the other, booting him in the same spot I punched earlier. He yelps, letting go, and I shove him to the floor, using all my strength to pin him with a knee on his body and my hand on his throat.

Hale snaps, growling, and I hold his muzzle down too, careful to keep out of the way of his claws. His tail thumps down irritably.

He shifts all at once, but I'm ready. I'm faster. Hale groans when I deliver a swift punch to his solar plexus and pin him again.

The fight doesn't drain out of him, but there's finally a hint of fear in his gaze. It only grows when there's no sound from the wolves around us; Deacon isn't going to interfere until absolutely necessary.

I keep my voice low as I lean down. "A vampire sent you here, didn't he?"

Hale pales and fights against my hold. I bare my teeth against the pain as he jostles me and hold on, delivering another punch to Hale's ribs that produces a choked-off groan.

"He'll kill you," Hale bites out. "And Andrew, too. Told me he'd be safe if I brought him back."

"Yeah, that was a fucking lie." My heart's in my mouth and I can feel Lucien's concern again, but I force myself to remain in control. It can wait. It has to wait. "You need to submit."

"Fuck you."

I tighten the hand I have around his throat. When I was part of the pack, I never thought about how strong I was. Sure, I was stronger than most of the others, but the fact I couldn't shift vastly overshadowed that.

Here, now, that doesn't matter. Hale searches my eyes, letting out a ragged breath when he sees just how far I'll go. Yeah, I'm not the only one who'll risk it.

He lifts his chin. I move my hand, and his throat remains bared, eyes downcast as his entire body goes lax.

"I submit," he bites out.

"Then this challenge is finished," Deacon says.

I get to my feet slowly, not turning my back on Hale. I don't look away from him until he's with his betas, pulling on a spare set of clothes.

"Alpha Hale. Two of my betas will accompany you and your betas to your car and escort you out of the city. I expect that will not be a problem?"

Hale's eyes burn with fury, but he keeps them low. "No, alpha."

"Good." Deacon turns to me. "I would like to speak with you after you have seen to your brother."

I blink, surprised. "Yeah, okay."

"Chaya will bring you to my office."

The wolves are already beginning to leave the room, disinterested now that the fight's over, and I let out a heavy breath before I limp over to the others. I'm immediately swept up into a hug that has me wincing at the scratches on my side, and I slap at Drew's shoulders ineffectually.

"Put me down!"

Drew's shoulders heave with sobs and I grab the back of his neck, holding on tight.

"It's okay. I'm okay. It's over."

The others crowd closer, even Jeremiah and Paxton joining to form a circle around us that keeps out the worst of prying eyes. I reach out and Lucien catches my hand, squeezing gently. There's an edge of fear to the relief I feel coming down the bond, but I can't blame him for that. I'm pretty sure the wound on my leg has stopped bleeding. I'll heal soon.

I run my free hand up and down Drew's back. "Seriously. It's okay. Okay?"

Drew lifts his head. His eyes are red and wet. "I can't believe you let him shift! What were you thinking?"

Paxton answers before I can. "He was thinking he could win," he says, and his smile is only a little sly. "At least you've not gone soft down here."

"Fuck off," I mutter without heat.

Drew lets go of me, sliding in between Adam and Sam again. Adam's looking at me like he's never seen me before, a sentiment echoed on Dante's face. Ophelia, in contrast, is grinning widely, like she enjoyed this just as much as the other wolves did.

Sam sighs. "Yeah, don't do that again. Or, like, wait a week first."

"A week, sure," I say.

Lucien wraps his arms around my waist, carefully avoiding the scratches, and I lean back against him.

"What did you ask him, at the end?" Drew asks.

"If a vampire sent him here."

Jeremiah's eyes flare wide, and I don't miss the look he and Paxton exchange. They know something, all right.

"I have to go see Alpha Deacon. He wants to talk to me."

Lucien lets out a disgruntled sound and dips his head to press a kiss to my throat. "What about?"

"I don't know. But I won't be gone long, okay?"

He hums and kisses my jaw. "All right. We will wait for you here."

Desire thrums between us and it takes effort for me to leave Lucien's embrace. We have later. I nudge Drew as I walk past him and resist the urge to reach for the others—even Ophelia and Dante. I want to be sure they're all okay.

"I'll come along," Jeremiah says and slips out from between the others, following me over to where Chaya's waiting. She frowns when she sees us both approaching but says nothing. We leave the hall, walking down one corridor, and when we turn the corner, Jeremiah catches my arm.

"We'll catch up in a moment," he says to Chaya. She nods and moves further away to give us some privacy.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"Who were you asking Hale about?"

I study his face before I say, in a low voice, "Tamesis."

There's no surprise in his expression. Only sadness—and guilt, which I don't understand.

"Is he why you're here?" I ask.

"What do you know about him?"

"He's the vampire who killed Mum, right?"

Jeremiah hesitates before he nods.

"And he's got it out for me. For Vasile, too, Elliot said. And…" I glance over. Chaya's got her back to us, but I lean in to whisper the name in Jeremiah's ear. "Deacon."

Jeremiah sighs. "Yes, I am worried about that."

"Is that what you're here to tell Moreau?"

"Some of it."

"How is he—How is he alive ?" I shake my head. "He fed from me . He died, and he shouldn't be able to—"

"Don't worry about that now. I'll speak to Moreau. We'll keep you safe, if anything—"

"I need to keep them safe!" I hiss, pointing back the way we've come. "Look, I-I'm so, so grateful to you and Paxton for looking out for Drew. I know that should've been my job. But I can't hide away and have you all do this for me, not anymore. I won't let them down again."

"Kieran." Jeremiah's hands land on my shoulders and he looks into my face. His pale eyes meet mine easily, and I swallow when he frowns. "You didn't let anyone down. Not me. Not Paxton. Certainly not Drew. Even before tonight, you've been looking out for people, haven't you?"

"Y-Yes."

"That's how you found that mate of yours. That mage. Your friends. But this vampire… You know what we're up against. And Paxton and I will do what's necessary to keep you and Drew safe. The rest of them, too."

"Yeah, okay."

Jeremiah squeezes once before he lets go. "Okay. Go see Deacon, now. I think you'll like what he's got to say."

I frown but catch up with Chaya, who says nothing before she starts walking again. We arrive at what I assume is Deacon's office, though I'm surprised to see no one is at the door.

Chaya shakes her head at whatever she sees on my face.

"An alpha should be capable of defending themselves. You know that."

I shrug. Vasile has his guards, but I don't think him any less deadly for them.

She knocks and when Deacon tells us to enter, she holds the door open, ushering me inside. She doesn't follow me in, and the door closes again, leaving me and Deacon alone.

He's standing over by the window, staring out into the night. I don't know what he's looking at, being as most of the view is other buildings, but I'm not about to ask.

"That was a fool thing you did, letting Hale shift."

His words startle me, but I try not to show it, instead offering a shrug he can't see. "He'd have come back and challenged me again if I hadn't. It needed to be over tonight."

I know I'm right about that. Lucien and I discussed it over and over; it was the one point we truly argued about. Deacon merely hums. I can't tell if he agrees or not, but it's a moot point. Even if I want to change that decision, I can't do it now, can I?

"Did you want to talk to me about the challenge?" I don't want to be here. They're all back there, waiting for me, and though I know they're safe, I'm feeling anxious. Vulnerable.

Deacon turns to face me. He eyes me for a moment before he says, "Noticed any changes recently?"

"What?"

"Your mating bond." He crosses behind his desk and takes a seat, waving a hand for me to do the same on the other side. I do, glad to take the weight off my leg. "Were you expecting it?"

"No. Obviously."

"Do you know what you are?"

"Human," I say reflexively, then shake my head. "A wolf… without a wolf. I don't have one, so I can't shift, but I have some of the instincts or whatever."

To my surprise, Deacon laughs. He shakes his head. "It's more than that."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, if you had a wolf, there's no doubt in my mind that you'd be an alpha."

"Yeah, my dad wanted me to take over, but—"

"No. I don't mean the position. For some wolves, it's more than that. There is something in us, something that makes us ready to lead—and others ready to follow. Our instincts lead us to protect and nurture and, when necessary, to do what needs to be done to ensure the pack is safe."

"I don't understand."

"There are plenty of people out there who are human but have a wolf parent, or grandparent. They might have a better-than-average sense of smell or be a little stronger or, yes, have the ability to form a mating bond. You're different. It's as though your wolf is the only thing missing, and your human body has adapted to compensate even for that."

"What?"

"I can count on one hand the wolves I know who could take out one who had shifted without shifting themselves. No one I know could do it as easily as you did tonight."

"I'm just… stronger. That's all." I feel like the conversation has got away from me somewhere.

"Nothing else?" Deacon's eyes flick down to where Hale raked my side. "You heal like a human?"

"No."

"It's been a dangerous time recently. Have you felt the need to keep your loved ones especially close? Have you given any orders they couldn't help but obey?"

I swallow. I remember Tristan's fangs in my throat, his arms tight around me, and Lucien's steps on the stairs—

Ward the door.

Sam hadn't wanted to do that. At least, he'd been torn, but when I repeated it…

Concern trickles down the bond from Lucien, so I push back with reassurance. Whatever Deacon says, I won't let it hurt us.

"I have a proposal," Deacon says. My eyes snap to his.

"What kind of proposal?"

"I think you should create your own pack."

I sit in stunned silence for a moment. "I'm sorry, you—"

"You'll end up doing it anyway," Deacon says with a shrug, "but I can't deny this wouldn't be helpful for me. For us. It is becoming increasingly clear that the current system doesn't work for everyone. We knew things would have to change from the outset, but after the mage wars… We're failing a lot of people, and the treaty doesn't give us as much room to help them as I'd like."

"So change the treaty."

Deacon sighs. "If I could… But there are concerns about what that would unearth, and it still would not fix old prejudices or change the level of trust some among us have in our system. We need a workaround."

"I'm a workaround?"

"You don't have a wolf, so you can live where you'd like. You're an alpha, so you're entitled to space to grow your own pack."

"Grow?"

"Did you think all those people came with you tonight just because you're friends with each other?" Deacon's eyes narrow, taking me in. "You're itching to get back to them, aren't you? You know just what your mate and your second are capable of, but you worry because you're not there."

"That doesn't mean anything. I just finished a challenge, I—"

"You have a pack, Kieran." Deacon's voice softens. "Like it or not, it's formed around you, and now you have to decide what you're going to do about it."

I run a shaking hand through my hair. "How would this even work? Lucien and Adam are vampires, and Sam and his coven are human, and Drew—"

Deacon smiles like he knows he's caught me.

"If Drew officially joins your pack, you'll be his alpha. No others will have authority over him with the exception of myself should you choose to remain in the city."

I nod.

"And the coven? Packs used to have those before the wars. It will make you stand out, make you stronger. A healthy coven is a testament to their alpha and the strength of their pack."

"What about Lucien?"

Something dark flickers through Deacon's eyes. "You will have to speak to the crai, but your pack will not be in doubt. Lucien may lose his position as chieftain, but they would never cast him out. Not for this."

There's steel certainty in Deacon's voice. My stomach twists all the same. I don't want Lucien to lose his position, even if he spends more time with me than in his district these days.

I know how much he's sacrificed for it. I know what he still feels he owes his clan. I can't be the reason he loses it.

"If I did want to form a pack, what would I have to do?"

"Let me know," Deacon says easily. "You live in clan territory, so if you wish to remain there, you'll have to speak to the vampires, but as your pack is not likely to be a traditional one, there may be some scope for you to remain where you are."

My mind spins. "Yeah, I—Yeah."

When I look up again, Deacon's smiling but more softly than before. "There's no rush," he says. "In the meantime, I recommend your brother renounce his former pack, which would make me his alpha by default—"

I don't realise I've pulled a face until Deacon stops speaking. He leans back in his chair. "You know the decision you're going to make."

"Yeah, I do." Like there's any doubt. "But I… We need some time. I have to speak to them all about this."

"Of course." Deacon stands, and I do, too. "I won't keep you any longer. Feel free to get in touch as soon as things are in order."

I thank him and shake his hand, and I'm only a little startled when he reaches out, one hand landing on the back of my neck. It's a brief touch, barely a scenting at all, but what surprises me most is that I don't fight it.

No. It feels right . I'll have my pack, but Deacon keeps order over all of London, and I'm okay with that.

I make my own way back to the main hall, where Chaya's waiting with the others. Her smile brightens when she meets my gaze, and I think she knows what Deacon's proposed, though she says nothing.

Drew's nostrils flare and he frowns. I shake my head.

"Is everything all right, my love?" Lucien asks as I reach them. He turns to me automatically, hand reaching for mine, and I nod as our fingers entwine.

"Yeah, fine." I look at Jeremiah and Paxton. "You two…?"

"We've got some business with Hunter Moreau," Paxton says. "But we should be around for a while. Drew's got my phone number. We'll meet in a few days?"

"Okay."

The two cars we came in are still waiting at the kerb, and Jeremiah and Paxton walk off into the night. Ophelia and Dante climb into the first car, but when Sam goes to join them, I stop him.

"Wait!"

He frowns at me. Drew does, too, still lingering by my side.

I look up at him. "Do you mind… Will you ride with them? I need to talk to Sam about something."

"Yeah, sure."

Adam catches Drew's wrist, somehow getting my meaning, and when they swap places with Sam, Sam fixes me with a glare.

He waits until they've climbed into the car to speak.

"Now you've sent both my mates away…" He crosses his arms over his chest. "This had better be good."