18. Drew

Chapter eighteen

Drew

I wake slowly. I'm warm and mostly comfortable, so I don't bother opening my eyes as I shift slightly, trying to stretch my legs. Kieran's sofa is definitely larger than standard, but it wasn't made to accommodate someone of my height, never mind my bulk.

Although…

Usually there's more room than this.

My eyes fly open as I remember this morning and I look straight into Adam's smiling face. He looks sleepy, too, and I have no idea what time it is or if Kieran and Sam are still around.

"Sleep well?" Adam asks. His voice is rough.

I swallow hard. I can't look away, not when we're this close. "Y-Yeah."

He hums in response, relaxing back into the sofa cushions. The move brings his face a little closer. He has one arm around my waist, fingers idly tracing patterns on my lower back, where my T-shirt's rucked up.

My cock gives an interested twitch. Oh, God. This is—I can't—

"Where are Kieran and Sam?" I ask. Their scents aren't as strong as they would be if they were in the flat, and I can't hear them in any of the other rooms.

Adam nuzzles his face into the cushion below his head, clearly fighting to stay awake. One of my arms is bent under my head, and the other lies in the space between us, my hand close to Adam's chest.

"They left earlier," he says. "Wanted to talk to the other mages about last night."

He yawns, and I can't help my smile. It drops from my face when I realise.

They have to have seen us.

I don't know what alerts Adam to my sudden shift in mood, but he pulls me closer with the hand he has on my back, pressing his face to the front of my throat. My breathing goes short for an entirely different reason when our hips rock together.

He's hard. Heat rushes through me, and his fingers dig into my back for a moment as he lets out a panting breath.

"Fuck," he mutters after a moment. "I'm sorry. I didn't want—I mean. It's okay. Everything's fine."

"Is it?" I don't take Sam to be the jealous type, but I should have known better than to sleep next to Adam. It looks suspicious, even if it isn't.

Adam's lips brush my throat as he moves his head and I bite back a whimper.

Even if it wasn't .

"It's okay, Drew," Adam says again, and his voice is more awake now, more commanding even if I can't see his face. "No one's mad at you."

"But Sam—You—"

Adam moves all at once, and before I can process it, I'm flat on my back on the sofa with him hovering above me. It's a tight fit, one knee planted between my thighs and his other foot on the floor as he holds on to my shoulders.

The blanket slides off onto the carpet.

Adam opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. His eyes travel the length of me, lingering on the soft curve of my stomach where my T-shirt has ridden up, then on the joggers hanging low on my hips.

He swallows and there's hunger in his eyes when they meet mine.

"Sam," I say and move to sit up. "You and him—"

Adam places a hand in the centre of my chest, and he's strong but not strong enough to push me where I don't want to go. It's my own weakness that has me leaning back again.

"Yeah, me and him," Adam grits out. His face is flushed, and I can see the sharp jut of his collarbone under the loose T-shirt he's wearing. "Me and you, too. Haven't you noticed the way he looks at you? He wants to take care of you, Drew, just like I do. Wants to take you apart."

My cheeks burn. I jerk my gaze away. Then back.

"All of us?"

Adam grins. His fangs flash in the dim light of the room, and that shouldn't spark a fire in me, but it does.

"Yes," he says, and the hand on my chest travels up so he can skid his fingers up my throat. I surrender easily, tilting my chin back and exposing the skin to him.

He freezes when I do, eyes going wide. Heat floods my face. I didn't expect him to know…

"Just like that," he murmurs, rubbing his thumb over where my pulse thunders at the base of my throat. "I want you both, Drew. And I'm willing to wait a hell of a long time to get you."

H-He is? I sit up all at once and Adam leans back, though he's still close enough I can hardly breathe for how my head is full of his scent. It's all the spice and blood of a vampire, with the headiness of arousal beneath.

I sway towards him, and he catches me by the chin, tilting my face up. "Are you ready now, little wolf?"

Am I? I pause, licking my lips, and his eyes follow the movement. I give myself a second to imagine leaning forward and following through, to imagine Sam by my side, touching me with just as much confident possession…

"Not yet," I murmur, and Adam's smile doesn't dim any. He reaches for one of my hands and lifts it to his mouth, then presses his lips to the back of it.

At no point does he look away. Neither do I, not even when my breath sticks in my throat.

"Whenever you are, I'm here."

I climb off the sofa after that and take a long, cold shower, trying to wrap my head around what just happened. Part of me screams that I should be focusing on Hale, that he's already threatening Kieran and if he knows about Adam and Sam—learns anything about them at all—they'll just become his next targets.

Another, much larger part of me is running through all the different fantasies I never knew I had. I'm not a virgin; there are plenty of other guys my age in the village, and some of us…

I shake my head, turning the water off. Nothing I've experienced has ever come close to what I'm sure Adam can deliver. Sam, too. I heard their kiss. Even through the closed door, I heard the breathy change in Adam's voice, and I'm certain they both have the power to ruin me.

My cock jerks and I grip the edge of the sink, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I've wrapped a towel around my waist, and I grimace as I run my eyes over my torso.

I'm taller and wider than either of them, and some of that is down to the fact that I've taken after Dad—Kieran's got his shoulders, too, though not his height—but over powerful muscles is a soft layer, one that neither Adam nor Sam possesses. Silver scars in the shape of claw marks run down my right side, the puncture of a bite mark on my hip.

There are scars on my back, too. On my legs. I don't want to catalogue all of them, even if I can remember precisely when each one was inflicted.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Not even that was enough to drive me away. We're wolves, after all. Not human. Learning to fight made sense, especially after everything that happened with Mum.

But Hale was the last straw. That's obvious now. Kieran shielded me from everything until he had to leave—and he had to, there's no doubt in my mind about that—and then I remained to take the brunt of it, and maybe I'd have done that forever, maybe I'd have stayed in that village, with Dad and all his paranoid ideas and—

A soft knock sounds at the bathroom door and my eyes fly open again. My cheeks are wet.

"Drew? Everything okay?"

Adam can't know I'm crying. I know I haven't made a sound, and he can't scent the way I can. I lift a hand and wipe the tears away.

"Yeah," I say, and my voice is clear. I force a smile into it. "I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay." He lingers by the door. Is he thinking of coming in? I locked it, but it won't keep him out.

Do I want him to come in?

He steps away and I let out a quiet sigh. Maybe not.

It takes me a few minutes to dress and pull myself together, and I rub the towel over my hair before I lay it over the radiator and step back out into the living room. Adam's sitting on the sofa, but he's turned the TV on, though from the way he looks at me, I don't think he's paying attention to it.

The curtains are closed, but light still escapes around the edges. My heart speeds up and I rush over to them, trying to pull the fabric and cover all the glass.

Adam lets out a faint laugh. It's not mocking. "It's okay, Drew," he says. "Sam did… something to the windows. I don't think I can just stand in front of them in the day, but the light that gets in isn't as strong, so it's not hurting me like this."

I gape at him. "I—What? He can do that?"

Adam's smile only widens. "We've got a clever little mage."

I don't know how to answer that, but my stomach rumbles, so I simply nod before I head over to the kitchen.

Okay, maybe there is one problem here.

There's nowhere to hide .

I know if I tell Adam to stop watching me, he will.

I don't, of course. Instead, I make myself a sandwich, and when I offer to make something for Adam, he shakes his head.

"Do you need blood?" I don't know how often vampires need to feed. It's not like I've ever asked Jeremiah.

"Not yet," Adam replies.

"When would you—" I cut myself off. Is it too personal a question?

Adam shrugs. "I make sure to feed at least every other day, but I'm pretty sure I could go a week now if I needed to before I really lost it. Lucien'll make me feed tonight for sure, but yesterday's attack didn't really drain me the way it did when Tristan—" Adam stops talking all at once. I stare at him. I'm still holding the butter knife in my left hand, and it's shaking.

"Tristan… He attacked you?"

"Yes."

"I-I didn't know."

Adam is fine. He's sitting in this room with me, healthy and whole and alive. I know he's okay.

"Bring your sandwich and come sit with me," Adam says.

I nod and finish making the sandwich before I settle on the sofa. There's a cushion between us, but Adam shuffles over until he presses up against my side. His thigh is firm against mine and I focus on what I'm eating.

"This okay?" he asks.

"Yeah."

Adam turns the TV up after that, and once I've finished my sandwich, I sit back on the sofa properly. He doesn't move any closer, doesn't put his arm around me, but he remains pressed against my side and that's grounding enough.

Kieran comes back a few hours later to get ready for work. He doesn't bat an eyelid when he sees us sitting on the sofa, and I put a quick sandwich together for him as he rushes about the flat.

"Lucien will come by later," Kieran says. He takes a bite of the sandwich, looking at Adam as he chews. "We'll both take you back to the clan house for tonight."

"The clan house?" I ask. I don't know whether I'm relieved or disappointed that Adam won't be staying overnight again.

"Vasile needs to talk to him," Kieran replies. He finishes one half of the sandwich and picks up the other. "But it'll be after I've done work, if that's okay?"

The final question is directed at Adam, who nods. "'Course."

"Good."

"Where's Sam?" I ask. He's not been back all day, even though he and Kieran left together this morning. Maybe he was annoyed or upset at what he saw. I don't want him to be.

"Think he went to see Pris." Kieran puts the plate in the sink and moves to pick up his shoes. "He'll be back soon. I told him not to go sniffing around on his own."

"Do you think he listened?" Adam asks.

"Maybe. I think last night rattled him. He didn't like seeing you hurt."

I busy myself cleaning Kieran's plate so neither of them can see my face. I've already seen the blush on Adam's cheeks.

"I'll be back in a few hours. Call if you need anything." Kieran claps me on the shoulder before he leaves, and despite the fact that the TV is still on in the background, the flat feels incredibly quiet.

I put the plate away but don't sit back down. I'm restless, a familiar itch under my skin. I've not even been here a week, but I'm not used to going so long without shifting. The stress of leaving, of hiding from Hale, of everything that might be happening between Adam and Sam and me… That's not helping.

Adam watches me again. When he catches my gaze, he tilts his head to one side.

"How often do you need to shift?"

I pause mid-step. "I don't know." I don't. It's the one thing the entire pack is free to do as we like. Ever since the first time I managed it, I've shifted pretty much every day. I think I've never gone longer than three days before, and the longer gaps have been more recent, since Hale arrived.

"Is that the problem? That you need to do it?"

Yes. No. I shrug, and Adam frowns, opening his mouth to speak, but as he does, I hear footsteps on the stairs outside and turn.

Sam. He looks tired when he lets himself into the flat, and I can't read his expression when he studies us both. He pulls off his boots, tossing them by the door before he crosses to the sofa, slumping down next to Adam.

"Is everything… okay?" I ask.

Sam nods, yawning. His shoulders aren't touching Adam's, but it's a close thing.

"Come sit down," Adam says.

I move over to one of the chairs, but Adam scowls, so I take the free cushion on the sofa on Sam's other side. He blinks up at me. There's a smudge of mascara at the corner of his left eye.

"You're good?" he asks.

"Yeah."

Sam hums, nodding again. He turns to Adam, who says yes before he's even asked, smile wider than mine.

We watch TV for a while. Well, I think they're watching it. I'm not. I'm hyper aware of Sam sitting next to me, gradually relaxing back into the sofa. He moves and his thigh brushes mine and I keep my eyes fixed on the screen.

What Adam said before… I don't see how it's possible. I don't see how I could have them both.

None of us speak again until Kieran appears with Lucien in tow. I blink blearily when they come in. The time has passed surprisingly quickly.

Adam gets to his feet when he sees Lucien, who crosses the room and takes him by the shoulders, looking him over.

"You are fine?" Lucien asks. Kieran leans back against the counter, watching his mate.

"I'm sure Kieran told you I am," Adam replies, but he reaches up and squeezes Lucien's forearm to reassure him. "I feel great. I should feed, but I'm just kinda hungry, nothing life-threatening."

"We will get you blood at the clan house," Lucien says. "Before we meet with Vasile."

"Anything new?" Kieran asks Sam.

"Not yet," Sam replies. He glares down at his hands. "We'll get there."

"I am certain you will," Lucien says, and his lips curve up when Sam fixes him with a surprised look. "I wanted to thank you for what you did last night. You saved us both."

To my surprise, Sam blushes. His gaze skitters away, and his leg presses against mine more firmly for a second. "Yeah, well… Don't worry about it."

"C'mon," Kieran says with a grin. "Let's get this done with."

"See you later," Adam says, his eyes intense on my face for a second before he says goodbye to Sam as well. They all file out and Sam melts back into the sofa again, tipping his head back to look up at the ceiling.

I have to talk to him about what he saw this morning. I can't have these feelings festering inside of me.

"Sam?"

"Hmm?" Sam turns his head but doesn't lift it. The skin under his eyes is dark, exhaustion on his face. If I asked him to, would he rest his head in my lap to sleep?

"This morning, I—"

He's alert all of a sudden and shakes his head. "You don't need to worry about that."

"No, I shouldn't have—I said I'd stay awake and look after Adam, and I didn't. And you two… I know you're together, and Adam and I, we weren't—"

"Drew." Sam reaches out and grabs one of my hands, squeezing tight. "It's okay. Whatever happened. Adam and I aren't together; that's what we were talking about last night."

"You're not?"

"No." Sam glances away but doesn't let go. "It'd be a bad idea, right? You've seen how close Lucien and Adam are. And Kieran and Lucien are mates, so if we broke up…"

It takes me a second to understand what he means, but when I grasp it, I frown. "Kieran wouldn't abandon you if you and Adam broke up."

Sam's smile doesn't reach his eyes. "I know."

"No," I snap, and his eyes flare wide in surprise. "He's not—You know him better than I do, but he's always been loyal. Sometimes stupidly so. He'd find a way to make it work, and you know it."

Sam stares at me for a moment, then shakes his head. "I think you know him better than you think you do." He sweeps his thumb over the back of my hand, and I swallow hard.

"We just slept," I say faintly. "Me and Adam, I mean."

Sam's watching where his thumb is moving. "Wolves need to be touched, right?"

Heat floods my face. "I-I guess? Pack members touch each other a lot."

"You needed Adam last night," he says. "And he needed you. I can't be mad about that, Drew."

He can't be, but is he? I don't know if I want the answer to that question.

"Come here." Sam sits back and opens his arms. I stare at him for a moment, heart thumping hard against my ribs. He rolls his eyes and beckons me close impatiently. "Come on , Drew."

I lean into his embrace, shifting down slightly so I can rest my forehead against his shoulder. He wraps his arms around me tight, one splayed across my back, the other teasing the hair at my nape.

I curl one arm around his slim frame. He relaxes into the touch, letting out a quiet sigh.

We remain that way for a while. I hear one episode on the TV end and another begin, but I don't pay attention to it. I'm focused on Sam's steady heartbeat, the rise and fall of his chest, the fresh scent of him.

His phone chimes and when he moves the hand from my back to get it, I let out a disgruntled whine.

Sam huffs a laugh. He tugs the strands of hair he has in his hand, and I pant at the sting of it. When I lift my head, Sam stares at me, eyes wide.

Tension crackles between us. Oh, this is something I've never tried before, but I don't want him to stop. I want him to pull again, to drag my head back and expose my throat.

Sam's phone chimes a second time and he mutters a curse, dragging it out of his pocket. He doesn't let go of my hair.

"Kieran's not coming back tonight," he says, his voice rough. "He's staying with Lucien."

Which means Adam isn't coming back, either, not that I figured he would be. Sam shoves his phone back into his pocket. I want to kiss him. I want him to kiss me.

I want Adam here, too. Maybe I'm being selfish, and I'm definitely being foolish, but I can't deny the way they both make me feel.

"I should—I should go to bed," Sam says, and when he lets go of my hair, I sit back, letting him get up.

He goes into the bathroom, and I lean forward, dropping my head into my hands. What do I want?

What can I have?

My phone buzzes and, certain it's Kieran letting me know that he won't be coming back tonight, I reach out and pick it up.

When I open the message, my heart drops into my stomach.

It's Hale. He's sent another photo, but this time, it's not of him.

No. It's of Kieran, Lucien, and Adam, and though I don't know where they are, they're all wearing the clothes they left in tonight.

Wherever they are, Hale is nearby, and what's worse, he has to know Kieran is connected to me.

There's no doubt in my mind.

He's going to find me.