16. Adam

Chapter sixteen

Adam

I groan as I slowly creep back to consciousness. My entire body aches.

It's still night—I can't feel the sun's pull—but I'm not sure what night it is, or, actually, where I am.

Someone's here. Close.

Someone safe.

I open my eyes and when I see Drew looking at me with a worried expression, I manage to dredge up a smile.

"Hey." My voice comes out rough, and my throat hurts. Drew's brows draw together in a frown I want to smooth away.

"How are you feeling?" He's paler than usual, and there's a haze of tiredness to his pretty, dark eyes.

"Not… bad." It's a lie, but he doesn't need to know that. Except, as I push up onto my elbows, my head swims. For fuck's sake… I bite back a groan. Why does this keep happening to me?

"Careful," Drew says. He twists around, reaching for the cushion that was under my head. His fingers are warm when they move over my brow and I let out a little sigh, surprised at how soothing it feels to have him near.

"We were attacked."

"Yeah. Sam and Lucien brought you back here."

"Sam… stopped them."

"Yeah, he did."

I frown, eyes darting around the room, even though I know Lucien's not here. "Lucien?"

"He's okay." Drew shifts onto his knees, fiddling with the blanket someone must have thrown over me at some point. "He's gone back to the clan to talk to Vasile about what's going on. Elle told him to stay, but there are so many of us here already…"

I nod slowly. It's strange that Lucien's face wasn't the first I saw when I woke up. I've not been injured that often since becoming a vampire—recent events aside—but still. Did he leave me here because he could sense the same thing I can?

I'm perfectly safe in Drew's and Sam's hands.

"It's okay," I murmur. The bond that ties Lucien and I together is so faint I can barely feel it, but I do my best to send a reassuring feeling down it all the same. At least if he notices, he'll know I'm okay.

"What are you doing on the floor?" I ask.

Drew blushes. "I wanted—I mean. I didn't want you to wake up alone."

"You haven't slept?"

"Don't need to. I can sleep later." He laughs faintly, but it's a self-deprecating little thing and I'm not sure I like it. "Not like I've done much else since I've been here."

"Drew. You've barely been here three days."

"I know, but…" Drew bites his lip and shakes his head. I want to reach out and touch him, but I don't know if it'll be welcome.

"But what?"

"This isn't—It's not about me. You're injured."

"Fine. It's about me. And I want to know what you were about to say."

Drew's eyes burn, and I can't tell whether it's with amusement or annoyance. I smile all the same, knowing it's not as bright as usual.

"I feel useless," Drew says finally. All the fight goes out of him at once. "I need to… do something. But I don't think I can help with this."

"You are helping."

Drew scoffs. "I'm not."

"You are." I can't help myself this time. I catch one of Drew's hands, trapping it between my own. "You've given Kieran and Sam a chance to rest tonight. You've made me feel better. I'm not saying there aren't other things you can do, but even if you were lying around on the sofa all day doing nothing, it wouldn't make you useless."

Drew opens his mouth, but I shake my head, some kind of irritation rising in me I can't quite place. It flows from deep in my chest, somewhere warm and tangled and new.

"And what does that mean , anyway? Being useless? You don't have to prove yourself worthy of anything. We'll all care about you just the same."

Drew swallows hard. He drops his gaze, mouth flattening into a thin line as he swallows hard. I stroke my free hand through his hair.

"Thanks," he mutters. He doesn't look up and I resist the urge to tug on the soft strands between my fingers, to make him look at me.

It would give me what I want. I just don't know where it will lead from there and I'm sure I don't have the energy for it. Not yet.

Anyway, I still need to speak to Sam.

I shift on the sofa, pressing as far back into the cushions as I can go. It'll be a tight fit, but I'm not averse to Drew lying on top of me until morning. "Get up here."

Drew looks at me incredulously. "What? I won't—"

"You want to keep me safe, right?"

Drew blushes again. Oh, I know I can't bite him, but I love the way his cheeks turn pink, blood rushing to the surface when he realises I've seen him. "Right," he says.

Brave boy. "So you need to be between me and the door." I'm under no qualms that that's where he was sitting before. Close enough to be sure I'm fine, but in a position where he could see any threat. "It'll be a tight fit, but that's okay, right?"

"Right." This reply is quieter, and I can't help my grin. I lift the blanket and Drew climbs up onto the sofa, careful not to put any weight on me.

He's half hanging off, I can tell, so I drag him closer. The aches are bone deep, not on the surface, and I know magic inflicted most of them. Drew lets out an adorable squeak, like he's not expecting it, but he settles after a moment, wrapping an arm around my back as I push my face against his chest.

He's so warm, so solid , and I sigh happily, relaxing in a way I haven't in months. "This okay?" I murmur.

"Yeah…" Drew sounds as dreamy as I feel, and I tug the blanket back up around us. Our legs tangle together, and I feel Drew sag again, like every point of contact is relaxing him just as much as it is me.

"Good. Go to sleep."

Drew huffs out a laugh, turning his face into my hair. "Okay."

I wake again a few hours later. The light in the room has changed slightly, and I know the sun will rise soon.

That's not what's woken me.

Kieran's standing in the doorway to his room, watching us. He must have turned a lamp on because light filters out behind him, enough for him to see the way me and Drew are tangled together on the sofa.

I lift my head, meeting his eyes. He doesn't blink, and he certainly doesn't look away.

"Do I need to be worried about this?" Kieran asks, keeping his voice low.

Drew doesn't shift at all in my hold, his breathing and heartbeat remaining steady. I shake my head.

Kieran stares at me again for a long moment. It's a struggle to hold his gaze, but I force myself to. He might not be a full wolf, but I know a test when I feel it. I'm more than happy to prove myself worthy of Drew—and Sam too, if necessary.

Kieran tilts his head to one side. "You and Sam…?"

I shrug. Can he read the meaning from it? I think so, from the way he sighs and rolls his eyes.

"Like I don't cause enough trouble," he mutters. "Wards are still up on the windows, so you'll be able to move around the flat in the day, but if you need to rest while the sun's up, I'm sure Sam will let you take his room."

I glance at Drew before I speak, keeping my voice quiet. "Why didn't he take me back to the clan?"

"He doesn't trust their wards to keep you safe."

He wants to keep me safe? I frown at Kieran's quiet snort.

"Yeah, you're getting it," he mutters. He yawns, rubbing a hand over his face. "I'm going back to bed. Lucien's glad you're okay, by the way. He's going to come by tonight to take you to talk to Vasile about what happened."

"Okay. Thanks."

Kieran looks at me again, another intense reading of my face, and I do my best not to hide anything from him. Can he see how much I want Drew to open up to me, want him to feel as safe and secure as I know he should? Can he see I want the same for Sam, too, that I want him to bloom back into whatever power he's chasing?

I don't know. Kieran nods once, satisfied with whatever he sought, then goes back into his room.

I study Drew's slack face. His arm is warm and heavy around my middle, and I trace my fingers over one cheek, stopping myself only when my thumb lingers at the corner of his mouth.

Something about this feels right. It's the same thing I felt the first time I set eyes on Sam, strengthened by every conversation, every shared glance or fleeting touch.

I snuggle back against Drew's chest, absorbing his warmth and breathing in the forest-air scent of him.

Maybe it's greedy, but I want them both.

Drew makes a quiet sound, arm tightening around me for a second before he relaxes again.

If I'm not wrong, they both want the same thing, even if they haven't realised it yet.

I smile. Yeah, I can work with that.