Chapter 33

M y teeth chattered against each other as I let out a muffled curse. That’s how I awoke in my parents’ room with their pillows shoved around me with my mother’s robe and comforter wrapped around me, securing me and keeping me whole for the moment. A deep shiver ran through me as I remembered the window Del had opened last night, which allowed the cold winter wind to flow into the large room. Pulling the comforter down to sit up, I had to close the window. Then I opened my sleep-filled eyes to the ugly nightmare from last night. White sheets were thrown over my parents’ bodies, but they couldn’t cover the blood that seeped from them. The bitter acid in my stomach threatened to make its way up my throat.

Luckily, you have me, and we will never be alone.

Of course, how could I ever forget the impending unfortunate fate that I’ve acquired?

Swallowing, I counted to ten and got up from the bed as soon as my feet hit the ice-cold ground. The door to the room opened and closed. Del rushed in with Ms. Kincaid’s spray in her hands. Her hair was in a ponytail and she wore the same red dress from the night before. She smiled, but it seemed off, not like her typical wide-toothed smile that I adored.

“I placed the tray down in your parents’ sitting room,” Del said quietly. “You should go eat it before it gets cold.”

Opening my mouth, I wanted to protest that I didn’t want to leave. In the corner of my eye, I caught the edge of my mother’s ashen toes, and it was enough to send me rushing into the next room before I threw up. I sat in front of the tray until the acid settled in my stomach and uncovered the food. Eating the oatmeal with my head down, Del got to work with Ms. Kincaid’s citrus spray, trying to diffuse happiness into my parents’ dark-shrouded room. A faint whisk of the magic-induced scent drifted into the sitting room, and I felt myself breathe a sigh of relief. Even if it was temporary, but try as she might, Del couldn’t take away the memories of last night. Only time and the goddesses can save me from the picture burned in my memory.

Del’s soft footsteps resounded in the hallway as she appeared and sat on the edge of one of the empty chairs. “Hey, how are you doing?”

Picking up my head, trying to avoid the pictures of my dead parents. “I’m fine…I have to be fine. T—This is just the beginning of taking the throne.”

“I understand, and you’re not doing this alone, KD. I’m here with you and Sir Reid…who almost gloated down the dungeon when he found out about Greyson. We took him to the old burial site in Louisiana. No one goes there anymore.”

Nodding my head, “Thank you, I know I’m not alone, and I love you, Del. I think the hard part is over, but…” Holding my head up to look at her. “I have to make my mother proud. I have to make my ancestors proud. They wouldn’t have wallowed in their misery. They would have gotten up today and went about their day as if nothing happened. So, we won’t stay in this room and be unproductive. We’re going to plan a Royal funeral for both my parents.”

Delphine stopped as she rose from the bed with her blonde eyebrows pointed to the sky, “Your father…as well?”

I nodded and sighed as I told her my mother’s last parting words about her trip to the three sisters. Even though I wasn’t surprised by the revelation, it was the knowledge that my mother loved my father despite the cheating and lies. All the rumors the coven pinned onto my father made me regret not believing them about his behavior. Then again, I was in denial about most things and wanted to live my life in blindness. Although I couldn’t dwell on the past, I had to fulfill my mother’s wishes for a Royal funeral. When I was done updating Del, a somber look fell over her. Her mouth opened, and she sighed.

“We’re all just a pawn to the goddesses, huh. Your mother suffered enough during her time on earth. Let’s not let her suffer anymore. I told Ms. Kincaid I would help you and your mother this morning. So, she’s still downstairs with the staff giving them hell.” Del smiled, squeezing my hand with hers. “Do you want me to take your parents down to the burial room?”

Although I planned for my parents’ death, I hadn’t planned on what to do afterward. One step at a time, which I thought at the time was a good plan but now that the time has come, I’m flying by the seat of my pants. How would I stop the rumors from spreading? Because once Ms. Kincaid finds out, the entire staff will follow suit. Word around the coven was fickle. Once one person finds out, the story will take shape and turn into a full-length novel. That was the last thing I needed. Even though killing was as normal as using our magic, some of the coven would be hellbent on the reason and revenge. Commanding my magic to close the window, slipping my hand from Del’s, I heaved my heavy body from the chair. My body and my mind protested, but I had no other choice.

“No, let’s leave them here until I speak with Ms. Kincaid. It’s important I speak with my mother’s—my entrusted coven members first, and then we can have a quick funeral.”

Del humphed, “I would hate to be in your shoes.”

Me too. I didn’t have another choice though. Del slipped off to find Ms. Kincaid as I walked through the castle to my mother’s office. And I couldn’t help but think about the drastic change that occurred from last night. The castle was uncannily quiet this morning. It was as if every staff member already knew that my parents lay in their rooms cold and stiff. The cold air got worse on the bottom ground causing goosebumps to form over my body for a moment before my magic hurled through me, knocking the wind out of my lungs. A hand grabbed my arm before I fell to the floor. “Are you alright, your Highness? Should I send for the healer?”

I looked up at the foreign voice. It was a young woman I had never seen before. Her brown eyes stared worriedly down at me.

My face felt flushed, “Thank you, there’s no need to worry the healer.”

The young housemaid looked unconvinced but nodded and headed off in the other direction. My magic alone was a force to be reckoned with, but combined with my mother’s magic, I was more powerful. I’ve been taught this type of magic during my royal classes, but nothing could prepare me for experiencing it without any guidance. My heart was erratic as I quickly reached the dark office, shutting the door behind me.

Falling into the office chair, it dawned on me that this office no longer belonged to my mother. I wouldn’t see my mother at her desk writing in her journal with her coffee in her hand, nor would I see her arguing with my father. All I would have was past memories that I would never forget, like the picture of us on her desk. My parents and I went to the gardens of Paris one summer, and my mother made us take a photograph in front of her favorite flower, the Jonquil. Their sweet fragrance left us in a daze. I don’t think I enjoyed another trip we took after that one, even though, at the end of the day, my parents ended up fighting behind their closed doors. To think their fighting was caused by a punishment for knowing the future. Now, I’m alone with just bittersweet memories. Youna! How could I live with myself? Tears welled, clouding my vision. My mother knew of her impending death, which made it worse. I’ve spent all this time running around when I could have been spending time with her.

Del slipped into the office without knocking. Her eyes squinted as she saw me sitting with a small, sad smile on my face in the dimly lit room.

“Are…you okay? Or have you gone crazy?”

I chuckled, but it came out as a choke as my throat tightened. “No, Del. I was just remembering the time we went to Paris. Trivial things.”

Walking over to the bookcase, wedged between the wall and another golden bookcase that was never used when my mother was alive, was the entrance to her Enchantment room. Commanding my magic, it swept across the rows of books as they fell down on their spines with a clunk, causing Del to jump. The books will stay as is until I close the room. When the door popped open, so did my mouth. What the fuck! My feet stopped working as I stood in the room. Del’s thin body collided with my back, drawing a small humph from me. “Oh, my Youna,” Del muttered so low in my ears, ignoring me.

Yes, oh my Youna indeed.

This was what my mother did when she disappeared, leaving us wondering where she went. The medium-sized room held several rows of mason jars that were filled with elixirs on one side. From naivete elixirs to unmarked jars of white odollam and everything in between. In the distance, Del muttered, “And to think you went through the trouble of finding that Fae.” But on the other two walls were stacked with knitting supplies and clothing. Color-coded, they formed a beautiful rainbow across the room, bringing the room to life. Soft cotton and silk glided over my palms as I ran my fingers over them. In the middle of the room was an old sewing machine with a large red wooden chair a box filled with scraps of vibrant fabric and the softest yarn known to the supernatural world on one side, and a box filled with a bunch of baby clothing. A letter sat on the top with my mother’s perfect cursive handwriting.

To My Little Emerald Moon,

If you're reading this then that means that Youna has come to collect me. I’ve always dreamed of being there to see you grow with your own mini-moon. To help you along the way to motherhood, but that wasn’t in the cards for me. What I can do is leave you with these pieces that I knitted when you were still in my belly and plenty more on my wall of love. Just like your paintings, these were made with love, tears, and an added special Mear la magie.

Love you to the underworld and back.

Hot tears soaked my cheeks and dropped onto the white page of the letter, smearing the words. Kneeling down to the box, my hand ran over the fabric. A calmness washed over me as my mother’s Mear magic soothed me. Her presence was all over the tiny outfits. Would there ever be a time I would get used to them? Probably not.

Del sniffles rang in my ear, “That was so beautiful, KD. Did you know she loved to knit? She really wanted to see you pregnant.”

Wiping my face as I cleared my throat, “No, I didn’t know about the knitting. I just knew she kept spare elixir’s in here.” My voice clipped as I tried to avoid sounding emotional. “Let’s grab the naivete elixir and go back to the office.”

Del opened her mouth but closed it shut when I walked away from her. If my mother was here, she wouldn’t want me to dwell in my sadness. I grabbed the jar off of the shelf, placing my hand over the small jar that was just enough for one. Echoing the ancient incantation in my mind, my magic slowly melded with the elixir’s thick gray texture causing a dull grayish brown to formulate in the jar. With the warm elixir in my hand, I stumbled into the office with Del in tow. Locking the bookcase with a click, a knock at the door caused us to scatter around the office, fixing ourselves. I took a seat behind my mother’s desk.

Del opened the door for Ms. Kincaid and dodged outside the door, “Good morning, Ms. Kincaid.”

“Good Morning, Princess Kaydian.” Ms. Kincaid’s silver eyebrows bunched together on her puzzled face as she took a seat across from me.

“I won’t keep you long since you’re busy preparing for the harvest. Ms. Kincaid, your loyalty has been nothing short of a blessing. I hope you will keep that loyalty to all of the descendants of Youna for the foreseeable future.”

Ms. Kincaid leaned close to the desk and took my hands into hers. “I’m sorry, Princess Kaydian. Youna has finally called for your mother. The Queen was counting the days when Youna would give you the strength to do what needed to be done. I remember trying to convince her that maybe she had it wrong, but your mother is like you, Princess. Hard to persuade.” She paused, her watchful hazel eyes observing my every move. With a sad smile, she said, “I remember when your mother came home from visiting the three sisters. She was so excited for the future, not knowing that fate had already started to collect their dues. It was like night and day. That morning, your father’s eyes sparkled, but by the end of the night, it was muddled like dirty water. Blinded by love…something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.”

All I could do was nod and recite the story of last night including Greyson’s death. By the time I got to my parents’ death, the stones in my stomach got a bit easier. My tongue is less heavy. Confessing my sins, even if it were to my trusted follower, made the pressure easier. At some point during my confession, I had closed my heavy eyes as the words continued to tumble out like water. When I was done, I stayed with my eyes closed until the silence got to Ms. Kincaid as she cleared her throat.

“Are you not worried about the shifters retaliating? You killed their Alpha.”

“It’s not out of the realm but there’s more turmoil between the small group that I don’t think they will be a problem. Plus, Greyson’s uncle was foaming at the mouth to be the alpha, but we will have to handle it another day.”

Ms. Kincaid’s keen eyes landed on me, and I took her silence as a chance to continue, “Loyalty is all we have in our world, and during my reign, I will make sure that is upheld.” Smiling, I pulled out the small jar and opened it. “As a condition, I need to make sure that the truth of my parents’ death will never make it out of this office unless I deem it necessary. Some folks wouldn’t understand the complexity of the situation, and I would rather not have to deal with the outcry. You can understand that, right, Ms. Kincaid?”

“I can, but…”

Cutting her off, “I don’t want to be rude, Ms. Kincaid, but there’s no buts, just yes or no.”

Defiance laced her hard eyes, but they softened after a moment. She took the jar from my hand.

Covering my hand over hers, I continued, “A promise to never speak of the past nights’ events about Greyson or anything I deem not for the public’s ears. The secrets we share are for our ears only.”

My magic warmed her already dry hands, giving it a soft green glow until the binding was enacted. Ms. Kincaid drank the contents in one go until the thick brown substance was gone. While I watched, I almost told her to stop, but I knew this was the right thing to do. Hopefully, the elixir pulsed green around her unmarked brown skin until it faded away. A little shiver of power ran through me. I hate to admit it, but it gave me just a bit of a rush knowing she can’t gossip, at least about this particular coven business.

“Good!” Clapping my hands together, “You will prepare one of the house staff to take the fall for my parents’ death. It will be a sacrifice to Youna…oh, and pick one that’s kind of simple-minded enough to go along with the plan, please. Del has taken my parents down to the morgue to start the process for their burial.”

Ms. Kincaid’s mouth dropped open to protest, but nothing came out of her mouth and only a tortured sound from her throat was heard. Her arm stiffened against her side. But I just smiled at her and waved her off. Ms. Kincaid, who I love dearly, always took a while to figure out when I wasn’t budging on a subject.

“Ms. Kincaid, do you have something to say?”

When she opened her mouth, the words tumbled out. “Princess—My Queen, this is not right…”

“Ms. Kincaid, I mean no disrespect because I do value you and your opinions and the time will come when I need your valuable advice, but this is not up for debate. You have one hour to bring me someone…”

She stood erect. Her back is straighter than a board, with a slight red hue at the tip of her nose. But she nodded her head as she said, “As you wish, my Queen,” when she exited the office until she stopped.

“I promised to show you where your grandmother kept her secret room. Your mother insisted that you would need it…I guess she knew hard times were coming. I’ll get Ms. Pourciau. She should know as well.”

Del returned, and we followed Ms. Kincaid to my family’s prized chair in the sitting area. With one of my eyebrows cocked, I was about to ask if the elixir had caused some memory problems. But I clamped my mouth shut when she pushed down on the seat, causing it to hit the back of the chair with a soft thump, revealing a staircase to the unknown. Ms. Kincaid stepped away, leaving both Del and me in awe as the chair continued to transform. The seat railing was unlatched from one side, allowing someone to enter the staircase to the room.

My mind led my body before I had a chance to think about what may lay waiting for me down in the dark space. The steep steps caused me to turn sideways, and Del made a joke, saying it was because my feet were big. I guess she was right since I was the only one that had to turn sideways. I wouldn’t admit it out loud. When I reached the bottom of the steep steps, I sent my magic out to flood the space, lighting up the hanging lights to reveal a small garden full of Cliff Fieldcress by the dozen lined the rows of dirt. My mother had enough of the red plant to help twenty royals for a couple of years.

“You’re grandmother, may her soul rest in the underworld, saw the changes in your father and his frequent trips that kept him away. She figured your mother would need something to help tide her over until your father finally decided to come back home. So, she sent her men off to gather as much of the Cliff Fieldcress they could find.”

Walking in a daze through the middle row, “There must be fifty year’s worth of them here.”

“One hundred years, my Queen. Your mother had been preparing it for a while now. Since you hadn’t met your fated mate, she wanted to keep a hefty stock in case…”

“I know, Ms. Kincaid. It will be okay. Our coven will be okay. We have enough to see to that,” I said with hope in my voice. Things were starting to at least look a little brighter than before.

“But your majesty, it’s important that you remember if you do not check on them weekly and feed your magic to them. They will die quickly, and they do take quite a while to grow back.”

“Right, we will come back weekly and tend to the garden.”

Laying my hand on the edge of the brown dirt, I let my magic fill the interconnected rows of plants until they all glowed green and vibrant with power. Their red petals opened, showing their seedy yellow center, just a bit more than when we first got in. A musky aroma diffused throughout the garden, leaving me wondering how something so beautiful could smell so rank. Turning out the lights, we retreated back to the office. We walked around the chair while Ms. Kincaid pushed the seat down, closing the entryway to my family’s garden.

Now, I knew why my mother hadn’t wanted me to help her with the chair.

“Ms. Kincaid, can you tell Sir Reid to gather the coven and take them to the coliseum after you find a house staff.”

“As you wish, your Majesty,” She turned, leaving this time in a hurry.

“Del, could you take my parents to the morgue and tell them to plan for the burial? We don’t have time for a big funeral, but we will make it grand. Send out the message to the other Royals and their covens.”

“Got it, Kaydian…or should I say, Your Majesty.”

We both chuckled, but it was then that everything truly hit me. I was the Queen. I finally made it without a mate. Do I really want another one? That was the question. Even though I knew my mother didn’t have control over her fate, it made me think hard. What was the use of men outside of my guards?

Pleasure? I could go a while without that.

Money? I had plenty of that.

Power? I was consumed with it.

“Ha, I will always just be KD to you.” I smiled as I touched her cheek. “Let’s get ready. The funeral should start around eight when the sun has just settled down. That gives us nine hours to get everything ready. Have the cooks and your mother set the coven banquet tables outside of the coliseum. We will eat outside under the stars.”

“As you wish, My Queen.”

Watching as Del slipped out of the now quiet office, I couldn’t help but shake my head at my stubborn friend. I thanked Youna for at least having one person to help me with the burden. Looking out of my window, which overlooked the coliseum and Tou-sin village… that was when I felt it. The unadulterated euphoric joy of my newly heightened power coursed through my veins. The ominous voice that I had become accustomed to screamed into my brain…

Mine!