Chapter 12

A fter the last of my tears dried up, I moved out of Del’s comforting embrace. My shoulders hung low as I sat up on the edge of the bed, facing the plain wall. Del’s small hand popped into my view as she handed me a tissue to clean my face. Brown and black makeup decorated the tiny white tissue when I was finished.

Del gave a nervous giggle when she saw my face and told me to, “Wait here,” as she ran to the bathroom. When she returned, she had the small bucket and a washrag.

“It looks like you painted your face.”

She chuckled, and I knew she only meant for it to cheer me up, but I couldn’t bring myself to laugh or chuckle at her joke. Not when all I could hear in my head was my father saying I was a helpless cause. When I was done cleaning my face, Del took the items and hurried off to the bathroom again.

The bed dipped slightly when she returned, but I couldn’t lift my head up from my chest.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked as she wrapped her hand over mine.

The touch was meant to comfort me, but I felt nothing. Just a deep-set sense of emptiness and humiliation.

“I really don’t want to, Del.”

“Kaydian, we promised each other never to go to sleep angry or to keep anything from each other.”

It’s easy for her to say that. Her father loved her unconditionally. Mr. Pourciau would never look at Delphine as a failure…a helpless cause.

Stop comparing yourself to a common witch…she doesn’t care about you like we do!

The more I kept repeating that Del was just trying to be a supportive best friend. The more the anger welled in my chest like an overheated kettle. Breathe in. Ungrateful bitch, let me handle her. Breathe out. We sat down on my bed for what seemed like hours before I could unglue my mouth and tamper down the voice and my festering anger.

I spilled the entire conversation to Del. My face was blank as I worked my way through the moment I found my parents in my mother’s office. The words tumbled out of my mouth as my throat quivered. In my mind, a war brewed. I couldn’t be sure if I wanted to cry again or scream at the top of my lungs until I passed out. At this point, I might do both. Not that anyone would care, seeing as everyone now knows I’m slowly approaching my descent into madness, and soon, I will just be another soul placed under the coliseum.

“Kaydian, you don’t have to keep repeating ‘worthless cause’ anymore. I get it,” Del sighed deeply.

Her words broke my tirade. I hadn’t realized I was repeating the insult until Del mentioned it.

“I’m sorry, Kaydian. I didn’t realize…” She paused and squeezed my hand. “Your night would turn out like this…I mean, I knew it wouldn’t be fun, but this was a bit much.”

Shaking my head, “This wasn’t how I wanted to spend my last months of having my sanity before…”

Pausing, the words became stuck as they dried up on my tongue. In my over-optimistic mind, I thought the curse would skip me altogether and that maybe, just maybe, the goddesses would spare me. Yet, tonight showed me I was nothing but a joke to Youna and the other goddesses. A plaything just for torturing. An image of my ancestor with her emerald eyes and picturesque face laughing popped up in my darkened mind.

“My father wants to put me down like my grandparents had to do with my grandaunt.”

Del paused, and even though I was still facing the plain wall, I could feel her wide shocked eyes boring a hole into the side of my face.

“I-I’m sorry, Kaydian. I wish I could do something to help you…I wish I could switch places with you and take this curse away from you.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes as the anger seeped out of me like a slow-moving tornado.

“And what would that do for me?” I said as I catapulted from the bed and paced the length of the bed. “I would be without my best friend. I would be alone and cast off to the woods to live by myself as my parents scrambled to find my replacement.”

Del stared at me with red-rimmed eyes.

I continued pacing back and forth. “Then I would really be alone. Not even my mother would be able to save me. You and I both know the coven and the royals won’t allow me to rule without a mate.”

“Maybe…” Del chewed her bottom lip. “Maybe you’re not looking hard enough, Kaydian!”

I scoffed and turned to face her. “Del, do you even believe what you just said?”

Turning red, Del opened and closed her mouth. Del and I have never truly had an argument or fought since we were thirteen, and I told her that her crush was a human in his past life…which was worse than any curse word I could have thought of.

“You don’t have to be rude, Kaydian! I’m just trying to help,” Del said through her clenched teeth.

Before I could help myself, I heard my next words slip out, “Well, help a little less then.”

“No, I won’t let you push me away,” Del countered. Del’s icy hand landed on my heated skin. “Let’s go to bed and come up with a plan in the morning. We can go to the covens outside ours, and maybe we can start looking outside of the royals. It is a small pool here…”

I needed a break from the coven, from my duties, or myself. Honestly, I wasn’t sure. Del wasn’t aware that my mind had already left my tiny room as she kept on prattling on. The only thing I knew as of now was that I needed to be far away from the coven. Just me and the darkness that lives inside of me as I prepare myself for the downfall.

My shoulders sagged as I dragged my feet into my closet. My magic, the only thing that was working for me tonight, opened the door to my enchantment room. I marched into the little room and counted the brick from the door entryway. Once I found the unsuspected fifth brick, I dug into my hair, searching for the sharp gold hairpin. As I pulled the tiny pin out of my bun, I heard the maddening voice in my head shout, “No!” I paused and closed my eyes as I willed the voice to leave me alone. I had one too many things going on with me right now.

Opening up my eyes, I quickly prick myself with the pin. The small red dot of my blood bubbled out of the small hole. The metallic mixed with my lavender perfume fragrant the stuffy air. Entering my wet finger in the center of the brick as it mixed with my magic, turning the white brick red. Click. The sound of the brick releasing from the wall rebounded in the room. I dug my hand into the hollowed-out space and grabbed the little scrap of paper I kept hidden there. My hand drifted over the small jewelry box with our true family ring as I wondered maybe I should bring it with me, just in case.

Nope! I thought as I closed the secret hideaway, watching the brick click back into place and turn back to blend in with the other bricks. Grabbing my drawing pad and a new pencil, I headed back into the room. Del had gotten up from the bed. The shoulder on her nightgown had an outline of my face in tears as the realization had set in. She stood there in the middle of the room, playing with her fingers. Her once flushed face was now pale as the white sheets on my bed, and the tears flowed from her red eyes. Del’s hair was ruffled in the back, which she made no attempt to fix.

I dropped the items onto my bed and turned to her and said, “Are you coming with me? I’m not sure where I’ll land, but anywhere will be better than here right now. Or will you stay here?”

Del just wrapped her arms around her small body and hung her head down. Anger washed over me as I could all but tell Del’s decisions.

“Oh, you don’t want to be seen with the worthless princess, huh?”

“You know I don’t think you’re worthless, plus you know I can’t leave. I have to help my family for the upcoming harvest. I’m not as important as you, KD.”

She paused. Her bottom lip was red and swollen as she continued, “Please don’t leave, Kaydian!” She chased behind me as I escaped to my closet.

“I need to, Del.”

Throwing off the green dress and changing into a white button-down shirt and the only pair of blue farm overalls I owned, I ignored Del as she trotted behind me, asking a million questions. In the back of my mind, I knew I owed her an apology for being a bitch to her, but I couldn’t fix my twisted mouth, let alone my mind, to say it out loud. Just another indication that maybe my father was right after all.

After I found the pair of white sneakers, I kept them in the back of my closet for a rainy day…like today. I pulled out a small bag and threw in some essential items.

“Kaydian, this is ridiculous!” Del said when we got back to my bed. “What about your parents and the coven?”

“Have you not heard a single thing I’ve said, Del?” I took my finger and placed it in the middle of her chest. “I can’t seem to make things right, and soon, the coven will come knocking on the castle’s door asking for me to be chained up or…”

I stopped mid-sentence. There was only one secret I’d ever withheld from Del. That real emerald would strip me of my powers—the only way to kill us. It would leave me vulnerable to being attacked. I’d tried many times to rationalize why telling her would be a good thing, but I always came up short and remembered my mother’s promise that I made to never spoken a word to anyone.

One deeply rooted secret between Ms. Kincaid, Sir Reid, my mother, and I. Just another thing that made the weight on my shoulder heavier.

I grabbed the pin and pricked another finger. A curse word fell from my lips as I accidentally hit the wrong side of my finger.

“See! That’s a sign, Kaydian. Let’s just talk it through.”

“Goddesses, mask my magic from my foes,” speaking the blood-cloaking incantation in our royal language. I rarely used blood magic since my mother’s magic kept our town shielded from the outside world. And the incantations had to be spoken out loud. The only time I’ve ever used blood magic was to practice with Sir Reid and my mother.

In the back of my mind, I could only hope I was doing the correct thing.

As the red drop of blood mixed with my magic, the colors amalgamated to a muddy brown before leaving a dimmed version of burnt sienna. Against my skin, the thin magic hugged my curves, making me glow. The protection spell will cover me and my magic for a day or two. Afterward, If I don’t use my magic, my parents won’t know where to find me, but I will be back before that happens.

“Kaydian, I know things aren’t going how you want them to, but it will get better,” Del pleaded.

“It’s whatever, Del. You wouldn’t understand, Del. Listen, I need some breathing room from...” I paused, sweeping my hands in front of me. “This. I will be back tomorrow before anyone will notice.”

I picked up the small bag, stuffing the drawing pad under my arm.

Turning from Del before the hard throb in my throat slipped out. The green aura flooded the room. The white slit opened in the middle of my room, and I jumped into the white light to my next destination. Where to? I wasn’t sure, but I trusted my magic and I knew it would lead me to the right place.