11. Violet

11

VIOLET

The taste of Flint's blood lingers on my tongue, rich and heady. I've never tasted anything like it. It made me feel alive, powerful and terrified.

What have I done? I just attacked him like some kind of animal. The look on his face when I shoved him away… I can't bear to face him now.

But it's more than just embarrassment. That blood awakened something in me, something inherent and hungry. For a moment, I didn't want to stop. I wanted to drain him dry.

I slide down to the floor, hugging my knees to my chest. Is this what I am now? A monster who can't control her urges?

A soft knock on the door makes me jump. "Violet?" It's Flint's voice, gentle and concerned. "Are you okay?"

I want to tell him to go away, but my throat closes up. Tears sting my eyes .

"I'm sorry," he continues. "I shouldn't have offered my blood without asking. That was wrong of me."

A hysterical laugh bubbles up in my chest. He's apologising to me? After I nearly mauled him?

"Please come out," he pleads. "We need to talk about this."

I shake my head, even though he can't see me. "I can't," I choke out. "I'm not safe to be around."

Flint sighs heavily. "Violet, I'm not scared of you. I promise. What happened wasn't your fault. Professor Blackthorne has explained that you're going through withdrawal for your sire and your body needed blood. I offered mine freely."

The smile that curves my lips as he spits out the word sire is something that I probably shouldn't allow.

I know his words are meant to be comforting, but they only make me feel worse. I don't want to be this creature that needs blood to survive, that loses control at the scent of it.

"You don't understand," I say, my voice barely above a whisper. "I wanted to keep going. I wanted to drain you dry. How is that safe?"

There's a pause, then I hear shuffling. When Flint speaks again, his voice is closer, like he's sitting on the other side of the door. "But you didn't. You stopped yourself. That shows incredible control, especially for a new vampire. "

"It doesn't feel like control. It feels like a constant battle."

"I know," he says softly. "And I'm sorry you have to go through this. But you're not alone, Violet. We're here to help you."

His words chip away at me. Part of me wants to believe him, to trust that I'm not the monster I fear I've become. But another part, the part still reeling from everything that's happened, is terrified of letting anyone close.

"I don't know if I can do this," I admit, my voice cracking.

"You can," he replies. "I've got you."

"Miss Violet," Professor Blackthorne's voice interrupts us and with eyes wide with mortification that he is still here, I drop my head into my hands. "You will be fine, I can assure you. We will help you get past this."

I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. Their words are comforting, but the fear still gnaws at me. I stand up shakily, bracing myself against the sink. My reflection in the mirror is pale and drawn, with dark circles under my eyes. I barely recognise myself.

Slowly, I reach for the door handle. I hesitate for a moment before turning it, opening the door a crack. Flint is sitting on the floor right outside. Professor Blackthorne stands a few feet away, his expression unreadable. Caine and the gorgeous-smelling man, I think he is called Thorne, are standing hovering in the doorway .

"I'm sorry," I whisper, unable to meet their eyes.

Flint jumps to his feet. "You have nothing to be sorry for," he insists.

I shake my head. "I lost control. I could have hurt you."

"But you didn't," Professor Blackthorne interjects. "As Flint said, you showed remarkable restraint for a newly turned vampire. What you're experiencing is normal, albeit intense, due to the circumstances of your turning."

I look up at him, searching for any sign of deceit or pity in his eyes. I find none.

"How do I make it stop?" I ask, hating every second of this.

Professor Blackthorne's expression softens slightly. "Time and practice. Your body and mind need to adjust to your new reality. We can help you with that adjustment, a few potions here and there. You will get past it."

Flint takes a step closer, his hand outstretched but not quite touching me. "We'll help you through this, Violet. You're not alone. You don't need him, and we won't let you want to need him."

I want to believe him and to take comfort in his words and the concern I see in his eyes. But the fear and shame are still too raw.

"I think I need some time alone," I say quietly, stepping back into the bathroom. "To process everything."

Flint looks like he wants to argue, but Professor Blackthorne touches his shoulder. "Of course," the professor says. "We'll be nearby if you need anything. Try to rest, and we'll check on you in a few hours."

I nod gratefully and close the door, hearing everyone file out and shut my bedroom door.

Alone again, I sink back down to the floor, my mind whirling. Part of me wants to crawl under the covers and hide from the world, and the other part wishes Flint had never rescued me. Maybe I'm better off with Nathaniel. At least, I'm no danger to anyone.

I close my eyes, taking deep breaths. The taste of Flint's blood still lingers on my tongue, a constant reminder of what I've become. But beneath the fear and shame, there's something else. A warmth that spreads through my body, making me feel stronger, more alive than I have since this nightmare began.

I think back to the moment when I first tasted Flint's blood. The rush of power, the intensity of the connection. It was terrifying, yes, but also exhilarating. For those brief seconds, I felt whole again, like I could take on the world. It felt right .

But then reality came crashing back, and with it, the horror of what I'd done. I attacked someone who has shown me nothing but kindness since I arrived here. Someone who risked his life to save me from Nathaniel.

Nathaniel. Just thinking his name sends a shudder through me. I hate him for what he's done to me, for turning me into this creature. But there's a part of me, a traitorous, instinctual part, that aches for him, however twisted and forced it was.

I shake my head violently, trying to dislodge these thoughts. No. I won't let him have that power over me. I won't let him win.

Slowly, I push myself to my feet and make my way to the bed. I notice a folded piece of paper pushed under the door. With trembling fingers, I pick it up and unfold it.

Violet,

I know you're scared and overwhelmed right now. That's okay. What you're going through isn't easy, but I promise you're stronger than you realise.

My offer still stands —I'm here if you need anything, even if it's just someone to sit with you in silence. No pressure, no expectations. Just know that I'm here for you.

Rest now. We'll figure this out together when you're ready.

Flin t

I read the note twice, my eyes lingering on his neat handwriting. A lump forms in my throat, and I blink back tears. How can he be so kind to me when he doesn't even know me? Hell, I don't even know me anymore.