Chapter Nine

After searching the rest of the village, I don't find anything. I do decide, since the houses still have beds, to bunker there for the night before moving on. I eat some of the smoked meat and refill my flask with water from the river. Honestly, I'm exhausted. Maybe it was that expenditure of magic, or maybe all this traveling is just wearing me down.

Regardless, by the time I crawl onto an old, dusty, abandoned bed, I feel like I can fall asleep.

But I don't. I lay there, wide awake, and stare at the stone ceiling. "Rune," I say his name, knowing he's there but wanting to hear him respond anyway.

"Yes?"

"What do you do when I'm sleeping? Or when we're not talking?"

"I can't do much, obviously. I wait. I wait while you're asleep. And when you're awake, on the rare occasion you're not talking, I wait until you need me."

I roll my eyes at him. Not like he can see it, but whatever. Acting like I talk incessantly. Come on. "You'd be bored out of your mind if I didn't talk to you," I tell him, knowing it's true while also knowing he's about to argue with me over it.

"Would I? Or would I simply enjoy the silence?"

"You had lots of silence while you were stuck inside that crystal—"

"Soul gem."

"Whatever. My point is, you had a lot of silence. A lot of being by yourself. Even though it kind of sucks you're attached to me, doesn't it, I don't know, make you a little happy to not be alone anymore?"

"I—" Rune draws out the word like it has more than one syllable, and it strikes me then that maybe he doesn't know what to say. Maybe he never thought about it. "I don't know if I can be happy, as you say, without being whole."

I lift my arm and study the glowing tattoo on my wrist and hand. "Yeah, being without a body must suck shit. I'd go crazy if I was trapped as a tattoo on some random guy's arm. Do you think your body is still out there somewhere?"

"It's been a long time. I don't know. It could be that, when the empresses locked me away, my body simply ceased to exist."

"So then you might never be whole."

Rune is quiet for a moment. "No, there must be a way. The empresses would know, though I doubt any of them would help you, even if they were still alive and sane." He references the state of Laconia, how they haven't been seen outside their castles in years.

They locked him away in a crystal—soul gem—because he had power. Odds are if they're still alive, they won't like me one bit. I'd have to hide the fact that Rune is a part of me if I ever meet them. Here's hoping I don't have to. With any luck Frederick's dad's things will be at Catarin Tower so I won't have to go on to Acadia castle.

"You must've done something pretty bad for them to lock you up," I whisper as I roll to my side. The pillow I'm using smells dusty, but I ignore it and focus on the glittery tattoo.

"I told you before. I dared to question them, and I had my power to back me up. They took affront and locked me in that soul gem for what they hoped would be an eternity. I don't know how I got to your world, and I don't know how long it took for you to find me, but it sounds as though the empresses who did this to me are either dead or mad. In the end, they surely got what they deserved."

"And if they're dead, what does that mean for you?" I might be able to go back to my world, but Rune… Rune might be stuck like this.

The yellowish white color on the tattoo glows as he tells me, "I suppose that means you and I are going to be bonded for a long time." He doesn't sound thrilled, but neither am I, if I'm honest.

Sure, it's nice not to be alone, but it's sort of like I'm talking to myself here.

"I know it sucks for you, but I'm kind of happy you're bonded to me right now," I say. "If you weren't, I would've been dead a long time ago. Call me selfish, but I'm glad you're stuck with me."

It's a while before he mutters, "Perhaps you are not as insufferable as I initially thought." A compliment, but a mean one. If that isn't descriptive of Rune in general, I don't know what is.

"Awe," I deadpan, "you're so sweet. Say it again."

"I take it back," he growls, his haughty, proper accent giving way to something else.

"Too late. You can't take it back. I'm not as insufferable as you thought. That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me. I'm going to remember that compliment until the day I die—which might be sooner rather than later, but still. You're so sweet, Rune."

He groans. "I truly do loathe you."

I laugh, because he's ridiculous. "Oh, don't be like that. You and I make a great team. Rey and Rune. Rune and Rey. Might not be your real name, but they fit so well together, don't they? It just sounds right."

"It sounds like you're talking simply to hear yourself speak," he mocks me.

"You enjoy our conversations. Don't deny it."

"I will. I will deny it wholeheartedly." He shoots back, "I believe you simply take far too much enjoyment out of antagonizing me." When I feign a gasp, he goes on, "You are aware I am bonded to you, therefore I am a slave to any conversation you might wish to have, whether I want to join in or not."

Under my breath, I mutter, "You are so mean. I can totally see why the empresses wanted to lock you away. Maybe I should shake their hands and thank them if I ever meet them—"

"You are hopeless."

"No, I'm not. I'm the opposite, and sadly for you, you're along for the ride." I close my eyes and sigh, content where I am even though it's dusty. Nothing like bickering with Rune to get me ready for bed. "Goodnight, Rune. Don't daydream too much while I'm asleep."

The sigh he sighs is the sigh-iest of sighs I've ever heard. Is that a thing? If not, it should be. "If only," he murmurs. "Sleep well, Rey."

I dream of blackness. A black void, so thick and choking that I'm actually grateful to wake up the next morning. I yawn and stretch before getting up, and then I swing my legs off the bed and stand.

"You certainly love your sleep, don't you?" Rune asks. "How you can sleep past the sunrise is beyond me." He's right; thick sunlight streams in through the open window, telling me sunrise was quite a few hours ago.

"That's my secret," I say with another yawn. "I'm always tired."

"How can you always be tired?"

"If you lived in the same world I did, you'd understand. Unless you're like five years old, with no responsibilities or worries, you're constantly exhausted."

I grab my bag off the floor and toss it onto the bed. I pull out some of the meat and eat it for breakfast. After finish, I relieve myself and am ready to go shortly, my next stop Catarin Tower. I might not have had any luck in Vermyr, but that doesn't stop me from hoping the tower will contain the research I'm looking for.

As I leave Vermyr and head back to the river—I'm going to surf my way there and hopefully reach it before nightfall, saving me days' worth of walking—I ask Rune, "Do you know anything about Catarin Tower? Frederick said—"

"Yes, I'm well aware of what Frederick said." The way Rune says the man's name, it's clear he still holds some resentment toward him. A sore thumb of his, so to speak. "The towers were originally built in the first era, when strangers from a foreign land made contact with Laconian soldiers. They won the war due to their empresses and their magics. They now call it the First Contact War. Until that point in history, Laconians thought they were alone in the world, that there were no other kingdoms across the seas."

"And they never tried sailing?"

"The seas are undoubtedly treacherous. Other than their revered empresses, Laconia is a peaceful kingdom. Or was, I suppose. They had everything they needed, so why bother looking for other kingdoms out there? Once the war was won, the watchtowers became places of refuge for weary travelers and the empresses' top magical researchers. It sounds as though Frederick's father is one of those researchers."

"Except he wasn't a researcher for the empress of Acadia—he was close with the one from Magnysia," I say, remembering what Frederick told me.

"Yes. We can assume he believed he was the only one left. Perhaps he thought he'd find others like him on his journey to the castle in the heart of Acadia. Perhaps he hoped the empress of the just remained sane. Since he never returned to Laconia, we can assume he either perished along the way or…"

"Or the empress got him." I stop when I reach the river. I really, really hope Frederick's dad didn't get captured or killed by the empress. If I have to go to the castle, if I have to search the place for his research… if the empress is still somehow alive, I'm not sure what the hell I'm going to do.

I can fight off magical dogs and flocks of crazed birds, but an actual empress with real magical power? There's no way I'll stand a chance.

"Even if we don't find what we're looking for at Catarin Tower, it might be wise to see if there's anything else there that might aid you. It is possible other researchers there were looking into things that might help you get back home."

Rune is right. Even if, say, I have to keep going to Acadia's castle, there's a chance the tower might hold answers.

I hop on the water and get a move on.

Once you do something so much, it gets easier. Racing along the surface of the water while avoiding any obstructions in the river is one of them. I'm able to go faster, so fast the wind hurts my face. I imagine it's similar to the feeling of coming down the highest drop on a roller coaster; I've never been on one, but I've seen pictures, and some of them are wild.

God, I'd give anything to ride one now.

The deeper into Acadia I go, the less hills I see. More flatlands, more waterways emptying out into the river I travel on. More flowers popping up near the riverbank, their petals and colors things I've never seen before. I don't run into any blighted creatures, thank goodness. It is a boring day, but I make good time and for that I can't complain.

Hours pass. I can't put my hood up because of the velocity I'm traveling along the river. The sun scorches my face, and I know I have a pretty gnarly sunburn. I ignore it since there's nothing I can do about it.

It's just after midday when Rune comments, "You're getting very good at this, Rey."

I gasp. "Is that a compliment? Wow. You're making me blush."

He scoffs, instantly irritated by what I said, "You are insufferable. I loathe the fact I am bonded to you."

I smile. "You know you love me."

He makes a disgusted sound. "I most certainly do not. Sometimes you are tolerable, and other times you are not. When you make comments like that, I—"

"Get so flustered you resort to petty remarks and try to insult me? Yeah, I noticed."

Rune mutters, "I'm done talking."

"No, no! Talk to me, baby. Tell me how good I am again. It really gets me going."

He doesn't understand what I mean or how I mean it, because he asks, "Gets you going where? You're already going to the tower."

I sigh. It's so obvious this guy is from this world and not mine. Anyone from my world would understand that I didn't mean that as in it gets me physically moving. But I don't feel like explaining how I meant it, so I keep my mouth shut.

It's probably better that way. Rune lost his name and probably his body, therefore even if I find a way to unbind him from me, he'll never know what it's like to…

Well, you know.

Do the deed. Get freaky in the sheets. Dance the night time tango. Play cowgirl and cowboy.

I'm sure I could think of a dozen more euphemisms, but I momentarily lose enough concentration to nearly trip on a sharp rock jutting out in the middle of the river. I manage to jerk to the side just in time to avoid it.

I'm nineteen. I didn't have the best childhood. Growing up in the system, I made some mistakes. Never had any long-term relationships, but that doesn't mean I'm naive. I know what sex is, how good it can feel. I also know how awkward and terrible it can feel, so really, it all depends on the partner you choose.

If I never get out of this place, I might not ever have sex again. That's not a very good thought.

The day passes. The sun starts its descent in the sky, and the few clouds there are turn a pretty pink. The colors of the sky reflect off the water before me, a pretty watercolor of nature. I'm seconds from saying something along the lines of how shitty it'll be if I have to make camp along the river, but in the far distance, I see what looks to be the outline of a tower. Still miles away, but thanks to the flat landscape around me, I can see the river zigzags around it.

"Catarin Tower," I say. We'll make it there in less than twenty minutes, before the sun falls and the world turns to darkness.

Please let it be the end of the journey. Please, please, please let it be the end of the road. I'm tired, and as much as I hate people in general, I also kind of miss not being alone—and I know I'm not alone because I have Rune, but it's not the same. He's not a physical person. Sure, we talk and I bug the shit out of him, but it's just not the same.

I ride the river's course as it weaves through the flatlands, and the closer I get to the tower, the bigger and taller it becomes. It seems so out of place here, so far away from any other sign of civilization; I wonder why places like this became a refuge for knowledge. Maybe they were only refuges because they're so far away from everything else.

I hop off the river before it juts away from the tower, landing on my feet on the small, pebble-ridden shore. After refilling my leather skin flask, I adjust the bag on my shoulder and walk closer to the tower.

The beautiful pinks in the sky have given way to dark purples, the blue in the sky turning more azure as it slowly fades to black, stars already peeking out. The tower stands tall amongst the field of grass around it, easily ten or more stories tall, made of smooth stone. I can't help but wonder as I gaze up at its height, how the hell people managed to build this. It's impressive. Here's hoping the inside held up as good as its outer shell has.

I walk toward the wooden doors. Twice as tall as me, the doors are shut, and I pray they're not locked. I can always bust through them, but that'll leave them wide open at night—and I plan on sleeping in there regardless of what I end up finding.

I reach a hand out to the door and grip the large metal ring that must be like a doorknob, only instead of twisting, I'm using it to pull the door open and let myself inside. Not a single bit of resistance, so the door opens easily, and I slip inside without a word.

The inside of the tower is dark; there are no windows here. I spotted some on the higher levels, about halfway up, but here, right now… there's no light at all. I'll have to wait until daytime tomorrow to see if there's any candles in here to light while I search the place.

I don't move right away. I give my eyes a moment to adjust in the darkness before I spot a stairwell that follows the square outline of the tower. Up it goes, probably to the top, where there is hopefully a bed waiting for me.

Don't know what makes me do it, but I say, "Hello?" The air inside the tower is stale, at least down here, on the lowest level. I can't imagine anyone has opened the door to the tower to air it out in a long, long time.

"Expecting to find someone here?" Rune mocks me.

I don't answer him right away. Instead, I listen. I listen for anything. Rustling of papers, the scurrying of feet; something that would tell me I'm not alone in here. But, surprise surprise, I don't hear a thing.

I'm alone.

Alone with Rune. If that ain't the theme song of this…

"No," I tell Rune as I head for the stairs. "I was just checking to make sure nothing's gonna come running at me. It's bad enough I have to climb all these stupid stairs." At least the stairs seem to be sturdy, so as I begin the climb, I don't have any concerns that I'm going to fall and die.

"Oh, poor you. It must be so hard to have legs and be forced to use them." The sarcasm practically drips off Rune's voice. He's lucky he's not physically here, otherwise I'd be tempted to punch his ass for that comment.

Floor by floor I go up. Unless I run into beds, I figure I'll head to the top so that way I can work my way down in the morning. My legs are going to kill me after all these stairs, anyway. I'd rather get the pain over with tonight.

You might think that all the hiking I've done here would've built up some resistance and endurance in my calves, but you'd be wrong. Something about steps makes things so much harder. I'm out of breath by the time I hit the fifth floor, and my legs are burning at the sixth.

I'm high enough in the tower that there are now windows, so I can see better. The floors I pass are full of bookcases and dried up herbs in dusty vases. Another looks to be an area where the researchers ate, nothing but rows of tables lined up side by side.

The tower ends up being twelve floors, and big shocker, the beds are at the tippy top—where there also happens to be a small balcony. I want to collapse on the nearest bed once I'm done with the stairs, but my curiosity drags me to the balcony so I can check it out.

No door between the balcony and the inside of the tower, so I walk right out. It's only maybe four feet off the tower, and the stone railing is about as high as my chest. Still, I can see over it, and what I see is a world of night, the flat plains all around. The river and the plains are the only steady things in the landscape, and the moon that hangs high above my head lights everything with silver.

The place is beautiful during the day, but at night? It's fucking magical. Being so high, surrounded by nothing, is unlike anything I ever experienced.

I pick up my arms and lean them on the stone wall in front of me, breathing in deep as I take it all in. "My dad would've loved this," I whisper. "He loved nature. He loved going for hikes in the woods. We'd always go off the trails and get lost. He always said that's the best part: the adventure."

"Where's your father now?"

"Dead," I say, my heart aching in my chest, just like it does anytime I bring him up.

I know I've talked to Rune about him before, but I never got into detail. Even though it happened so long ago, it's still like it was yesterday. Grief is a funny thing, deceiving in the way it always hangs around. Sometimes you're fine, and other days you catch yourself doing something and you're suddenly thrown back in time and you remember just how much you miss them.

I swallow hard before I say, "He was everything to me. My best friend. We did everything together. As a kid, you never really think about the end, so when he died, I was lost for so long. I was only ten. I hated everything. Everyone. I blamed the world when he got sick."

Rune stays quiet for a bit. He is tentative when he asks, "And your mother?"

I shrug. "Never in the picture. My dad said she loved me, but she couldn't stay with me. I don't even know who she is. It's like she dumped me on my dad and never looked back. She didn't care enough to."

It's been so long, it's crazy how bad things still hurt. How my heart aches when I talk about it. Everyone expects you to move on because years have passed, but how could a kid who lost everything ever really get over it? Some things stay with you. Grief, distrust, hatred for the world and jealousy for all the kids who had normal families.

"That is…" It sounds as though Rune doesn't know what to say, like he's being overly delicate with me, and I don't like it. "…quite unfortunate. I'm sorry, Rey."

I push away from the wall and turn away from the beautiful nighttime view as I wander inside the tower and collapse on the nearest bed. "It's okay," I whisper back. "I've had years to deal with it."

The tattoo on my wrist glows, illuminating the room in a dull yellowish white, like a dim bulb. "I know I mentioned it before, but perhaps it really would do you good to stay here in Laconia. You can survive the shadowstorms. You might be the only one who can save these people. They need you, even if they don't want to admit it."

The last time he mentioned my life at home not being much to go back to, I told him it was my life. That, at least, it was mine.

I don't say that this time, though. I ask, "Why should I care? Do I feel sorry for them? Sure. But my world has problems too, and I don't see any of them leaping to help out. Just because I can do things they can't doesn't mean I have to be their hero. Their problems aren't mine."

"You're right, of course. Their problems aren't yours. Still, perhaps helping them would help you, in turn. You can save what's left of Laconia. You can probably take down their empresses, if you try hard enough. Rey, you could wipe the slate clean for these people—"

"Why should I? They locked me up and called me a demon."

"And they also helped you escape."

"And then promptly asked for my help," I remind him. "I'm only doing this because Frederick might be able to help with the portals. I'm not doing this out of the kindness of my heart. I want to go home."

Rune is smart enough not to say anything after that, and I roll onto my side and close my eyes. Sleep takes its good old time in coming, and once it arrives it's a sheer black embrace welcoming me in its arms.

I dream of nothing. I dream of the void, a pitch-blackness that envelops me and tries to devour me. I'm so homesick, so lost, that I almost let it.