Chapter 36

chapter 36

Lizzie

The journey south is peaceful. Siobhan isn’t much of a talker, which suits me just fine. I try to keep Maeve confined to bed, but after three days, she’s out and about. Sometimes she helps Siobhan sail. Sometimes, she swims beside the boat, her pale gray body cutting through the waves even more efficiently than our ship.

There may come a day when seeing her swim in the open sea doesn’t make my chest tight. It won’t be anytime soon. I worry. Fuck, I worry about her so much. If she’s healing as well as she seems to be, how will I keep my virtuous selkie from throwing herself headfirst into the first conflict we come across? What will it take to make sure she survives the rebellion?

The nights are my favorite, though. I finally get to properly map the freckles on her body, though it takes me hours, and we’re both shaking by the end of it. The sex is outstanding, of course, but some of my favorite moments are when we lie next to each other as our bodies start to cool, listening to the steady rhythm of her heart. Again and again, it hits me that she almost died. That if I don’t do something drastic, she will die. Not of old age, safe and peaceful, but in the coming battle.

That fear drives me from our bed and out onto the deck while the stars are still bright in the night sky. Siobhan sits near the helm, her hands moving steadily as she mends some piece of cloth. I settle down next to her. “If you take Bastian back from the C?n Annwn, there will be no more hiding in the shadows. It will be a full-out conflict between them and the rebellion.”

“I know.”

I can appreciate how frank she is. It makes it easier to be blunt right back. “I’m not going to let Maeve die for you.”

Her lips curve in a grim smile. “You’re formidable, but I don’t think even you can sway the course of what will become a war.”

War.

Once, I relished the very idea. It was a chance to shuck off my thin veneer of respectability and bathe in the blood of my enemies. I suppose?.?.?. I still do relish the idea. Just not the potential cost. I inhale the salty sea air. “In a battle of attrition, you’re going to lose, no matter how extensive your network is.”

Siobhan snorts. “You have something to say, vampire. Stop dancing around it and say it.”

She’s right. My days of not caring are in the past. I do care about Maeve, and by extension, that means caring about what she cares about. The rebellion. Stopping the C?n Annwn from abusing their power. Taking down the Council. It means surrounding myself with rebels who have stars in their eyes. “I’ll stand at your side through whatever comes, and I’ll make your enemies my enemies. At least until the Council is no more and you’ve set up some kind of new ruling system here.”

Siobhan sets down her mending and turns to face me fully. “You don’t believe in our cause.”

“I wouldn’t go so far as to say that. The Council is aggravating in the extreme, and I like being able to move freely.”

“Lizzie.”

I sigh. Fine. The truth, then. “I would kill the whole fucking world if it means keeping her safe. She won’t approve of all the methods required, but I’d do it anyways. Maeve will join you in the coming confrontation. That means I will, too.”

“I won’t lie. You’re an asset, and I’m glad to have you, no matter how reluctant.” She tilts her head back and inhales deeply. “We’ll reach the Audacity in two days. Rest until then. Enjoy your selkie. There won’t be much time for either once things get started.”

I rise and head back down belowdecks. Maeve is awake and sitting up, her eyes a little too wide. I pause inside the doorway. “You heard.”

“I heard. I know what you said before, but?.?.?.” She smiles a little. “I really shouldn’t find it romantic that you’d kill the world for me. That’s terrible.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t find it romantic. But you do.” I cross to the bed and lean down to press a kiss to her temple. “I think I’m rubbing off on you.”

Maeve laughs and pulls me down on top of her. “I can feel the bloodlust rising in me as we speak.”

“More like just lust.” I kiss her and ease down so we’re lying on our sides facing each other. I brush her hair back from her face. “You will survive the revolution—or whatever it ends up being called.”

“So will you. Promise me.”

It’s not a promise I have any business making. If I’ve learned anything since arriving in Threshold, it’s that life holds no guarantees. “I promise.” I pull her close. “When this is all done and our enemies are all in pieces, what will we do?”

She smiles against my throat. “Skipping right to the good part, I see.”

“Just call me an optimist.”

She trails her fingers down my spine. “I’d like to see all of Threshold. There are so many islands I’ve only heard of in stories. We could spend several lifetimes getting familiar with them.” She hesitates. “But I would like you to meet my family. If you’re okay with that.”

It warms my heart for her to take such care with me. I don’t deserve this woman, but that’s not going to stop me from loving her with every bit of my corrupted heart. I kiss her temple again. “I’d like that. I promise to be on my best behavior.”

Maeve shoves me onto my back and moves to straddle me, her expression going wicked. “That’s two promises tonight. And you voluntarily signed on for a noble cause.” She presses the back of her hand to my forehead. “Are you sure you’re feeling well?”

I playfully bat her hand away. “I suppose you bring out the best in me.”

“It was there all along.” She leans down and kisses me hard. “I love you, Lizzie. Thick and thin, no matter what the future brings, I’ll be at your side. I promise.”

The words have the sensation of a vow. I hold them close, letting them settle inside me. Letting myself hope. It’s a strange sensation, almost as if a pair of wings unfurl in my chest. I think I like it.

I dig my fingers into her hair and tug her down. I speak against her lips, whispering the vow right back, binding us together. “I love you too, Maeve. Thick and thin, no matter what the future brings, I’ll be at your side. I promise.”