Chapter 34

chapter 34

Lizzie

The Crimson Hag lists drunkenly in the water, but it doesn’t seem to be going down in a hurry. I could give a fuck. Not with Maeve listlessly treading water beside me. Hurt. She’s so fucking hurt. There’s as much of her blood in the water around us as there is the mermaid’s. Too much.

Her body ripples, and I barely have a chance to get my arm around her as her skin falls away and leaves the human woman behind. I make a mad grab for the pelt. There’s no fucking way I’m letting that sink to the bottom of this damned bay. When Maeve wakes up—because she will wake up—it won’t be to learn that she’s once again missing a vital part of herself.

The pelt is heavy, the fur large and waterlogged, dragging at me. I may be significantly stronger than a human, but I’ve never been the strongest swimmer. It doesn’t matter. It can’t matter. If I go under, then Maeve dies, and Maeve cannot die tonight. The thought shakes me to my very core. “No dying,” I pant. “You don’t get to?.?.?. declare your love and then pass?.?.?. tragically.” I do another pass over her with my magic, pressing it into her wounds to keep her from bleeding out. I’ve never tried to do something like this before. I’m so much better versed in killing than in healing. Except this isn’t healing at all. I’m only commanding the blood in her body to stay in her body. Or trying. It feels more slippery than normal, whether that’s because my concentration is split or Maeve’s blood is resisting my magic?.?.?.

I don’t know if I’m doing enough. I’m terrified that I’m not.

She lolls in my arms, unconscious. If not for the faint pulse of her heartbeat, I might believe she’d already slipped beyond my reach. “No.” I fight my way through the waves, foot by agonizing foot. “Live, Maeve. You have to live.”

I drag Maeve and her pelt through the water. If she was conscious, she would tell me to stay, to make sure Siobhan gets out safely, but she’s not and so I’m getting her away from Siobhan and the Crimson Hag. The whole damned rebellion can burn for all I care. Maeve is not dying tonight. “Stay alive, baby. Keep breathing. You have to keep breathing.” With every stroke of my free arm, I curse myself for leaving her unprotected. And for what? Some fucking jewels. As if those lifeless gems could ever compare to the woman in my arms.

I should have ignored her insistence that I go for them. Should have fought my way back into the water faster after she shoved me through the hole. Should have?.?.?.

A ripple of water is my only warning before a dark head pops up above the surface. I start to lash out, but they easily catch my foot. “Don’t be a fucking fool, vampire. I don’t want her dead, either.”

Siobhan.

I don’t allow myself to feel relief. We’re still hundreds of yards from the shore, and I may have stopped more of Maeve’s blood from leaving her body, but that doesn’t mean she’s going to be okay. My power pings over and over again with the sheer number of wounds she carries. She must’ve fought for so long. She should have run, should have protected herself instead of trying to ensure the ship kept sinking. I pull Maeve closer. “This is your fucking fault, shifter.”

“Let me help you.”

This is what Maeve’s life will be like if she’s left to her own devices. Fodder in a war fought by people more powerful than her. A martyr. Maybe not even that; maybe she’ll just be a body that’s fallen by the wayside as others pursue their ambitious goals. She deserves better. She deserves to have someone watching her back, ensuring that she reaches that ripe old age.

I don’t deserve her. I have no illusions about that. She’s too good, too honorable. But she deserves me. I’ll make the calls she’s too decent to make, and I won’t hesitate to bloody my hands to keep her safe. I’ll do anything to keep her safe.

I’ve already fucking failed.

“I’m going to rip out your throat,” I gasp.

“Noted.” Siobhan dips beneath the waves again, and then she’s at our side, easily pushing me away from Maeve and wrapping her arm under Maeve’s chest. “I’ve got her.”

I’m having a hard enough time carrying the pelt, weighted down with the water the way it is. And Siobhan is taking obvious care with Maeve, which is all I could ask for. As much as I want to keep her in my arms, to measure the beat of her heart with my arm over her chest, Siobhan is obviously the stronger swimmer. She won’t let Maeve drown. She better fucking not. I clutch the pelt to my chest. “If she dies, you die.”

Siobhan ignores my threat. We swim toward the shore in strained silence as Maeve’s color gets paler and paler. She’s not actively bleeding, but obviously she’s not anywhere close to waking up. To being okay.

I might lose her.

The thought is incomprehensible. Last night we exchanged words of love, and now her heartbeat is slowing to the point that, without my powers, I would think it’s not beating at all. I barely came to terms with the fact that I don’t want to leave, and now she’s leaving me.

It takes far too long to reach the rocky beach near the cave we started the night in. Siobhan touches down first, sweeping Maeve into her arms and whisking her up onto dry land. I follow a few steps behind. My muscles quiver and shake, and the pelt feels approximately five thousand pounds. I don’t think I’ve ever been this tired in my pathetically long life, but I keep putting one foot in front of the other. Maeve needs me. I won’t falter. I can’t lose her. I fucking refuse.

I reach the cave in time to see Siobhan lay Maeve down carefully on the floor. “Second crate down,” she says without looking up. “There are medical supplies.”

I don’t take the time to argue. I shove the top crate away and rip open the second one. Some of the medical supplies look vaguely familiar, but most of them are completely foreign to me. Whether that means they’re magical or simply a different technology is anyone’s guess. I’ve hardly spent my time worrying about how to heal people when my blood—

My blood.

I grab bandages and rush back to them. “My blood can heal her.” I wasn’t willing to take the chance on the Serpent’s Cry. I had been out of my mind with worry, but it was clear she was recovering. That’s not the case now. I don’t know what happens if a selkie imbibes vampire blood, but if she doesn’t, it’s increasingly looking like she might slip away permanently.

I won’t let her die. No matter what it takes.

Siobhan has been busy in the seconds that I was away, using her claws to cut the suit from Maeve’s body. The wounds revealed make my stomach twist. I’m hardly queasy when it comes to evidence of violence, but this is Maeve. Stab wounds cover her entire body. I have no idea how she fought as long as she did. The bandages in my hands won’t cover half of them. I drop them, my chest so tight, I’m having a hard time drawing breath. “You said no martyrs, Maeve,” I whisper. She should have run. Why didn’t she fucking run?

“If we—”

“Shut up. You’ve done enough.” Any doubt I had about giving her my blood disappears. It’s the only choice we have. “Get out of the way.”

“You don’t know what that blood will do to her. Neither of us do.”

Even with my powers artificially sealing her wounds, they gently ooze blood. She’s going to die if we don’t do something, and out of all the outcomes that I’ve played through my head, different scenarios with varying degrees of heartbreak, her dying is unacceptable. I won’t allow it.

“It’s our only option.” It shouldn’t be enough to change her, but no matter the outcome, at least she’ll be alive to hate me if it comes to that. I drag my nail along the inside of my arm. “Hold her head.”

Siobhan hesitates for the faintest heartbeat, and then she’s moving, shifting behind Maeve to lift her head and shoulders as I press my bleeding arm to her lips. Too cold. She’s too damn cold. I barely even registered how deliciously warm she is all the time until that heat is nowhere in evidence. My blood dribbles into her mouth, but she doesn’t swallow.

“Come on, baby. You have to live.” I gently massage her throat, artificially urging her to swallow. It’s tempting to give her more blood, but a few mouthfuls should heal even the most mortal of wounds. It just takes time.

Siobhan rises and walks deeper into the cave only to return with a stack of blankets. She props a folded one under Maeve’s head and covers her with the other two. “So?.?.?. Now we wait?”

“Now we wait,” I confirm. I’ve healed people with my blood in the past, but I’ve never cared about the results as deeply as I do right now. I measure every slow beat of Maeve’s heart, searching for some indication that the blood is working. It will heal her. It has to.

“He wasn’t there.”

I’m so busy focusing on Maeve, it takes me a few moments to realize that Siobhan has spoken at all. And a few moments more for her meaning to penetrate. “Bastian?” Obviously I registered that we hadn’t acquired a fourth person in our retreat, but I honestly don’t give a fuck about Siobhan or her goals. If the glamour mage drowned, then he drowned.

“Yes. He had definitely been on the Crimson Hag, and recently. His scent was all over the cell in the brig, but it’s at least a few days old. They must have passed him off almost as soon as they captured him.”

She’s obviously upset, and she did help me get Maeve to shore, so I don’t make a derogatory comment about shifters and their noses. I think that’s called growth. Maeve will be proud of me if she wakes up. When she wakes up. I swallow hard and search for the appropriate response, the words Maeve would instinctively know. “I’m sorry.”

Siobhan scrubs her hands over her face. For the first time since I met her, she looks startlingly young and almost vulnerable. It strikes me that she can’t be more than thirty, maybe thirty-five. Practically a baby, and yet she’s carrying around a burden that I can barely comprehend. Whether she picked it up willingly or it was thrust upon her is anyone’s guess, and frankly I don’t give a fuck.

But Maeve cares and so I try. “I’m sure you’ll find him. You just have to retrace the route the Crimson Hag took and find out where they dropped him off.”

“That will take too much time. He’s headed for Lyari, and whether or not I know which ship he’s on?.?.?. fuck.” She turns and punches the wall, and I’m startled to watch cracks form. Shifters are strong, but this is on another level entirely. “We’d have to search every ship sailing in that direction, and there’s no way to guarantee that would be enough. Even if I wanted to try that, we don’t have that many ships or that many people. It’s impossible.”

Again, I wonder who this man is to her, and if it’s as personal as it seems. Obviously he’s helping with the rebellion, but there are plenty of powerful people helping with the rebellion. This is something more—and not just because he has the ability to glamour people into doing his will. “Who is he to you?”

“No one now. But he was once.” She holds up her hand and watches her knuckles heal, the skin knitting back together where it had been broken by her punch. “No matter what you believe, this isn’t personal. His powers can change the course of the rebellion. If he dies, I don’t see a way forward.”

I snort. “That’s a whole load of bullshit. You have Nox, who can take out an entire crew in a series of heartbeats. And Bowen, who can probably level an entire fucking island with that damn telekinetic power. They are just two people who believe in your cause. There are others, and I imagine they must have a range of powers. Pull yourself together.”

“Nox?.?.?.” She gets a strange look on her face. “You’re right. I’m letting frustration get the best of me. I really thought we’d save Bastian tonight and everything would be back on track.” She crouches down next to Maeve. “Her breathing has evened out.”

I scan Maeve again with my powers. The wounds have started to close, though it’s slower than I’d like it to be, but more importantly, her blood is once again flowing in a regular rhythm. Relief makes my knees weak. “Her heartbeat, too.”

“Look, I know this is shitty, but time is of the essence. I have to go. No one will look for you here, but I would stay out of the village. When she’s up for it, follow the trail past the path where it branches back toward the village. It will take you to the top of the cliffs, and you can skirt around to the east side of the island. There’s a sea cave there with a small sailboat. It’s not much, but it’s stocked with food and water and supplies. It can get you to the nearest island. You should be able to catch a ride on a trading ship from there.”

Obviously the sailboat in question is hers and how she’s been traveling without a crew. But that begs the question: “Where are you going?”

“A local captain owes me a favor. The Audacity will be sailing south of here in a day or two. If I can flag them down, then Nox will be honor bound to help me retrieve Bastian.”

I’m not so sure about that. I want nothing more than to see the back of Siobhan, but as I look down at Maeve, I can’t help hearing her voice in my head. Help her. I don’t want to. Putting the rebellion behind us would be my preference, anything to keep Maeve out of danger. And yet I find myself speaking: “No reason to split up.”

“Excuse me?”

“It will be quicker if you wait for Maeve to wake up and we take your ship?.?.?. together.” I’m feeling my way, Maeve’s palm warming against mine where I hold her hand. “This one won’t be content to sit by and watch others take risks going forward, and I won’t let anything happen to her. We’re headed back to Nox as well. We might as well travel together.”

Siobhan studies me, her body tense as if she wants to spring into motion. “Very well. I’m going into town to make a resupply run and see if I can find any information about what might have happened to Bastian. I’m sure the Crimson Hag’s crew will have made landing by now.” She stalks to the crates and digs through them until she comes up with a cloak that looks identical to the one she wore when we met her. “Meet me at my ship by dusk tomorrow.”

“We’ll be there.”

“Maeve will be fine.” She flips the hood of the cloak up around her face and hesitates. “Sorry about your jewels, though.”

I’d all but forgotten them. Again, I wonder what the fuck I’ve been doing. Chasing down some godsdamned inanimate objects, putting Maeve at risk to do so, and for what? To go back to a life where I was just going through the motions. I’ve lived so fucking long, and this last couple of weeks is the most alive I’ve ever felt.

I don’t want to go home. I don’t give a fuck about the jewels. I just want Maeve to be okay.

As Siobhan slips out of the cave, I settle down next to Maeve and take her hand. I can carry her to Siobhan’s ship if I need to, but I’m going to give her as much time as possible to sleep and let my blood continue to heal her.

There’s nothing to do but wait.