Chapter 14

Chapter 14

My thoughts consumed me as I tried my best to get rest. The night had gone by in a fog as I had tried to busy myself with planting lavender across the garden. The calming scent easing my tension. I brought some clippings into the bedroom with me, hoping it would help me relax but it had no affect. I hardly slept that day, tossing and turning with all the memories we had pulled to the surface. It would have been fine if the only thing I was picturing was my sweet mother’s face, but every time she came to my mind, came alive in my dreams, Bazak joined her.

He was always looming over me, looming over us both. I grabbed at my mother’s hand, but it would slip away from me. Darkness would consume her and she would be gone. Bazak would remain, always there, always present. The power the man held over me still even now when I was so far from his grasp was infuriating. I hated him, hated what he did to me. Loathed that he took my mother from me when I needed her most. Having to see him around town as he gave me that wicked grin, knowing what he had done to me, what he got away with doing to me and I’m sure what he got away with doing to so many others, filled me with a fiery hatred. I saw his hands on me again, grabbing me and pulling me down.

A scream escaped me when I awoke, forcing me to sit upright in panic. I was angry; I was seething. He deserved all the anger I had and then some. To rub salt in my old wound, he burned my damn house down.

The door flew open, and there stood Altyr with a panicked look on his face. My yell of anger had summoned him. He had arrived so quickly, it was as if he had been close by, maybe he was waiting outside my door again. He scanned the empty bedroom, looking for the threat, but I was the only one there, alone in my bed in a state of undress.

“You screamed,” he said as he turned his eyes away from my barely covered skin.

Laughing as I flung myself backward onto the bed. “Bad dreams, just normal bad dreams.”

For all the hatred I had for Bazak, all the pain he caused me, I wasn’t going to let it rob me of contact with another person. Not this time. Altyr hadn’t fully explained what had happened but he explained enough. I knew he felt the same way about them, about their ridiculous mission and how they abused that to destroy others who they deemed different. If he was anything like he is now, Altyr’s coven probably wasn’t doing any horrendous crimes that they needed to be wiped out for. He was mostly a nice vampire, outside of nearly killing me originally, of course. At this point I felt he was trying to repent for that action. He was at least trying to do better. That was more than most people will even admit to. No, Bazak wasn’t going to take this connection from me. I wouldn’t allow it.

He stood there fidgeting his fingers along his trouser seams, waiting for something else to happen. A burst of heat and energy fell upon me causing a gasp to escape my lips as his eyes refocused on my half-covered body. A warmth filled me with something I was desperately missing, life. The connection we had to each other ebbed and waned, but there were moments like this, where it felt strong and fulfilling. The way he could sever it when he was upset and allow it to flourish when he was engaged with me, it made me feel he really didn’t have proper control over it, not yet at least.

A smile crept up as I ran my hand slowly across my thigh and up my hip, exposing more skin as I did so. I watched as his eyes were following the motions, following my fingers brushing against my curves. The heat pulsated between us, warm and comforting. He didn’t have control of it today; I did. My fingers danced up the side of my body before bringing them up to my face. I bit the tip of my fingernail and gave him my most seductive look I could. His eyes were burning with the heat that was vibrating between us, entranced by my movements. For every time he made me flush from his antics, it was my turn to tease him. I would probably regret it but for now, now I was going to make him blush.

I watched as he swallowed hard, staring at me silently. His eyes lowered and he gave me that look, the one that wanted to devour me. I was tempting fate teasing him like I was. The muscles in his jaw flexed again, and he twisted around. The connection didn’t sever this time as he turned away. He marched toward the door before turning his head back to me. “I got a new shipment in for you, it’s in the garden.”

The room held a stillness to it, a cold quiet hanging in the air as he left, but the connection was still there. This time it was slowly fading away instead of severing entirely. The connection must have waned the further he got from me but it wasn’t cut off. Our connection to one another was growing, I was truly becoming his hollow.

I couldn’t help but feel a deep attraction to the man. He was beautiful, of course, but there was something more happening. I wanted to blame the connection, the magic coursing through my veins, pulsating when he was near. The heat that washed over me was making me question my desires. Some part of me, deep down, knew there was something else growing there that I couldn’t explain.

When he said to me he would kill Bazak, it flipped something inside. So far this man only offered barbed insults with dusty comforts. He only existed to tease me and harass me. The look in his eye when he promised me vengeance, the shimmering hate that filled his deep velvet words, that was the first time I truly believed a man would keep his word. From my bedroom performance I realized that deep down, his offering of such a thing was just incredibly arousing to me. What did that say about me?

Starting my evening all hot and bothered wasn’t the best mood to be in. I could satisfy myself, but I didn’t know how that would affect any connection we had between each other. Best not to mess with things I didn’t understand. Unfortunately, this just made me pent-up and frustrated. Begrudgingly, I got dressed and ready for my night. Taking a deep breath, I patted my dress down, trying to push out any wrinkles. It was one of the finer-styled ones he had left me with a built in corset. Those lowered eyes were the only thing on my mind. The look he had given me, the one that said he wanted to wrap those lips around me again had me squirming thinking about it. I knew now that it wasn’t blood he wanted.

I smirked again at my behavior as I closed the door behind me. As I took a few steps away from it, I noticed he was standing in the garden below, waiting for me. The connection was still warm, ebbing in my heart. I looked down and saw the dress I selected gave a magnificent view of my bosom and snickered. I didn’t know what was coming over me, but I was now on a mission to tease this man as best I could. It felt almost like a challenge.

After what Bazak did to me, I refused any man who I came across. Not because I didn’t crave the touch of a man, but because I didn’t trust them. I wasn’t going to let Bazak be the one to take more than he already had from me. He wasn’t going to take pleasure from me. So far in my life though, I hadn’t found anyone I deemed worthy of my trust. Now I was being forced to trust someone and that someone could kill Bazak if he wanted, I knew it. As I descended the stairs, I replayed the conversation. He promised me the one thing I truly desired. He promised to kill Bazak. What a generous gift for our new life together.

Rounding the corner out of the stairwell, I nearly skipped my way to him as he was standing casually in the garden. He stood tall, his long silver hair shimmering in the last light of the day. I would have found him imposing and threatening days before but today he was just a handsome man waiting for me to join him.

The flowers and bushes around me were full of life. I almost felt like they were blooming in the last light of the sun, which was quite unusual. They should all be closing their petals, but regardless they were still showing their beauty. Brushing my fingers across them as I passed, their scent floated through the garden, filling it with a saccharine and delicate smell.

He turned to see me sashaying my way up to him; the heat rising between us as his own smile turned up. There was no half smirk this time, he couldn’t control it today. Both brilliant fangs showed as I approached. I saw him lick his lip and swallow hard. “The uh… garden is looking great.”

“Thank you,” suddenly I was feeling shy at his compliment. “I really think it just needed some attention.”

“I usually detest having these parties,” he said as he turned away from me to look down the length of the garden. “It won’t be as bad this time. They’ll have somewhere to congregate other than the hall and field. People will enjoy all your hard work.”

“How many people will be here?”

His head tilted in thought. “I’m not sure. I’m not the best host anymore so not too many ever show up for mine. Maybe a hundred or so? Which just works in our favor, honestly. I don’t want too many people knowing about you.”

My eyebrows furrowed. “Am I that much of an embarrassment?”

His eyes cut to me quickly, and his hands shot out, motioning an apology. “No, it’s… you’re… You’re not a normal hollow. I don’t want any of the others to do something to you because of it.”

“Oh.”

“I mean, you are a human still, so that’s embarrassing regardless.” That familiar smirk pulled up as he winked at me.

Pushing his shoulder, he lost his balance and just laughed at me. “Not like I can help that!”

“I mean…” his voice trailed off before he cut his eyes away again.

I stared at him for a moment, trying to process what he was trying to say.

He cleared his throat and said, “the full ritual will be out in the ward under the moon. The dinner could happen in the hall but I think we’ll just do it out there too, there’s plenty of room. It’s a formality for the existing hollows and servants anyway, seeing as we don’t actually eat…”

“Do you drink?”

“Excuse me?”

My nose crinkled up as I let out a laugh. “I meant something like wine.”

“Oh.” He looked up in thought and said, “I think we can, but I don’t partake. It doesn’t really do anything for us. We can actually eat too, but it doesn’t fuel us in any way so there’s no point, really.”

My hand went to my neck, feeling the healed scars he had left. “No, you consume other things.”

The look he gave me ate at my heart. His eyes looked apologetic and soft. “I am sorry about that.”

“About draining and leaving me to die in a pile of flowers?”

“Yes, that. Apologies.”

I shook my head. The audacity of the man thinking he could just apologize for ruining my life. The look he gave me though, his eyes pleading at me, shook me. Maybe he was actually sorry.

Letting out a big sigh, I said, “it happened. We can’t go back and change it now.”

“I can only go so long without feeding. Usually, a few months will go by, sometimes longer depending on how active I am. I end up getting quite ravenous and I’m never in the best mindset when the bloodlust hits. I try not to… I try to avoid humans the best I can.” His eyes fell to the ground again. “Normally I try to grab a Lightbringer on patrol in the woods or swipe one in the city who’s not paying enough attention.”

“I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time,” I finished for him.

“Exactly. That’s when Orrin comes by.”

“To help you hunt?”

“To ensure I hunt.” He paced around the garden, hands fidgeting again. “There was a time I refused to eat. I wanted nothing to do but waste away. Orrin made me, he saved me from myself. He’s the reason I’m still around.”

Orrin had been there for us when we fled the city, been there to help save us from the hollows. If he was the only reason Altyr ever fed, the only reason he lived, it was likely he was a good vampire. The concept of a good vampire was foreign and strange to me. This whole world was foreign and strange. Sometimes I feel like maybe I should have paid a bit more attention to the words the Lightbringers said just so I would know reality was the opposite.

“Why wouldn’t you eat? What happened? You mentioned an attack—“

“The Lightbringers happened.”

“Yes, but why?”

“Why not? They want to purge this world of our existence. This world needs us. We hold the shadows at bay. Without us, it’ll consume you all.”

“Is that what the fog is? The shadow?”

He shook his head and gritted his teeth. With a snarl, he said, “that’s what they say. That’s what they say to justify the cruelty that order has against our people.”

“So they attacked this keep?”

I watched his jaw flex again. Talking about this was hard for him but he was talking about it. I wanted to keep him talking for as long as I could. I needed to know more about the world I now inhabited.

“I was going to a ritual that was quite a distance away. Going alone that time because I didn’t want to burden anyone else with the annoyance of them. I hadn’t been to one in a long while and she pressured me to go…”

“She?”

“Marcela.”

“Who was Marcela?”

“My wife.”

The air was sucked out of my lungs in surprise. “You had a wife?”

Rolling his eyes at me, he said, “is that so hard to imagine? That someone would love me?”

“No, I didn’t mean — I just — I’m sorry.” I hung my head in embarrassment.

“She was one of my kind but I did not sire her. When she died, I didn’t even know it. I couldn’t even feel it. All the hollows, the staff, I felt them. But her? I didn’t know. I didn’t know if she had lived, if she had escaped.”

“The hope she survived was the only thing that kept me going on my way back. I found where the Lightbringers were camped, it wasn’t too far from the keep. They hadn’t traveled very far after their crime.”

I saw his fist clenching, straining as he recanted the tale. “I killed them all. Every human I could find in that camp, I killed them. I drank their blood, I used their life force, their power to fuel my revenge. With every soldier’s essence, I grew stronger and was able to strike down the next with more and more ease. I experienced a different type of bloodlust, one that let me destroy everything I touched.”

“I came upon their commander. He looked a lot like your Bazak: pompous and full of himself. He wasn’t so full of himself after I ripped apart his men in their tents. What did he have on his table though? Marcela’s wedding ring. I had my answer, and he gifted me his life for it. Taking my time, I drained him slowly, carefully, and made sure he knew the full breadth of pain that he could experience.”

He rubbed his hands on his face, pulling them together at his lips. “I was expecting to pick up the pieces of my coven except there were none. They were all murdered, every last one of them. Even the human children in the village outside. They massacred the village. That foolish order killed every person and for what? We didn’t harm anyone. The people in my kingdom lived in peace. I protected them and they provided us with an economy and taxes. We were like any other lordship. My coven wasn’t hunting anyone, we weren’t draining any innocents. We had our hollows and we had our human servants. No one was there without choice.”

I watched as his hands dropped, swinging uselessly against his side. “This garden used to be just like this, before that is. It was Marcela’s favorite place.”

My only instinct was to reach out to him and hold his hand. Wrapping my fingers into his, I held it. He didn’t pull away; he let me hold on tight. I pulled it to my chest, holding it with both hands. He turned to look at me, tears of blood forming at the edges of his eyes.

One slow blink and they spilled over. Deep crimson tears were streaming down Altyr’s pale face. Pulling him in fully, I wrapped my arms around him. His body slackened against me and he eased into the embrace. Several silent moments passed with me holding him, the warmth pulsating between the two of us in a rhythmic but strong fashion.

“Thank you,” he muttered as he pulled away from my embrace.

I pulled out a handkerchief I had stuffed in a hidden pocket for him and he took it with grace as he cleaned his face up. Smiling softly I said to him, “I know it’s been hard for you to endure all that pain here all alone, but you’re not alone now. I’m here. I guess I’m your new coven.”

He gave me a weak smile. “I guess so. It’s been decades since I’ve been close to anyone.”

“You don’t have to wait any longer,” I said, squeezing his hand again.

The look of kindness he gave me was like nothing I had seen before. He swallowed hard and said, “You need to stay close by though. I will not have a repeat incident.”

“I can’t promise that, what if I find another interesting flower,” I said with whimsy in my voice.

“Is that what you were doing?”

My eyes widened. He never realized why I was there. “I was looking for a rare flower that blooms at night.”

“Those white and red ones? I recall seeing them there,” he said as he straightened his posture once again, composing himself as the proper lord he was. “I didn’t realize they were rare.”

“There was an old record of them I was following. I’ve never seen them described in any literature I’ve ever read. So I wanted to dig one up and take it back with me to study. I was working on it when you…”

An awkward silence fell between us. I wasn’t going to tell him about the glowing magic that came from the flower, but just talking about the flower wouldn’t hurt. It was the reason I was out there alone.

“Let’s go get one,” he said with a firm tone.

My eyes widened again. “Right now?”

“Tonight!” He whirled around in a flourish, grabbing my hand and pulling it with him. “Let’s go tonight!”