28. Liam

28

LIAM

I caught Val, staring out the window several more times but I couldn’t see what was attracting his attention. Finally, I dismissed it. Maybe he was just paranoid after what happened to me in the parking lot at Pound. He was ridiculously overprotective, but I couldn’t say I minded. It had been far too long since I’d had anybody to protect me at all.

The food was delicious, and most times when I looked up while I was eating, Val was watching me with a soft smile on his face. It was an expression I felt sure he didn’t show a lot of people.

Did he really feel the same way about me that I did about him? And how had this insanity happened so fast? I’d tried to fight it, tried to tell myself it was crazy, but I wanted him. I wanted to be his. I could only imagine what Ava would say about it. Would she accept it if some miracle occurred and things actually worked out?

I huffed. There weren’t going to be any miracles.

I polished off the last bite of my pancakes and took a sip from my water glass. When I sat back, Val smiled. “Did you have enough?”

“I hope so. I cleaned every bite off my plate.” I’d apparently been wrong about how much I could eat.

“That doesn’t mean?—”

“I seriously couldn’t eat anymore.”

“Do you want me to get you something to go for tomorrow, maybe a biscuit?”

“Val, you don’t need to do that. You told me you weren’t going to give me money because I owe you and that if anyone found out you were paying for?—”

“I’m simply making sure an employee is well fed enough to dance. That’s not against the rules.”

“Are you really thinking of me as an employee right now?”

Val took my hand. “I haven’t ever thought of you like that. I’ve only ever thought of you as a man I wanted to possess.”

“But you said I wasn’t allowed to be on your list of potential possessions.”

He turned my hand over and began stroking the pulse point at my wrist. How did he make that feel so good. “I want you, and I’m going to keep you.”

“How? If your father is so scary that everyone cowers when they hear his name?—”

“I’m going to find a way to make him accept you.”

“And what happens to me if you can’t?”

Val met my gaze. “No matter what, I will not let you come to harm.”

“Why, Val?”

“Because you’re special. When I’m with you I can’t stand the thought of leaving you, and I know you want me too.”

I wasn’t going to try to deny it. I glanced at the clock that hung on the wall of the diner. “Don’t you need to get some sleep? It’s four in the morning.”

Val smiled. “Plenty of nights I don’t go to bed before dawn. Hazard of the profession.”

“I suppose it’s easier to catch people at night when you have the cover of darkness to torture them.”

He shrugged. “Something like that, but I want you to get some sleep. You’ve got work tomorrow.”

I nodded, but I didn’t want to go back the stuffy little storage unit where I was hiding out. I wanted to go home with Val. I wanted to accept his offer of an apartment, but I wasn’t going to. I couldn’t let myself believe all of this would work out. I already knew I had fallen for Val, but if I let myself become even more dependent on him, what would happen if—when—he changed his mind.

When a second week without Val at the club came to an end, the same overpayment showed on my statement. Sunday was my day off from Pound. I tried to get scheduled at Benny’s, but no one would swap their shift with me. That meant I got to sleep in.

It was near noon when I woke covered in sweat. The generator had probably given out a while ago, but my exhausted body still hadn’t stirred. I hadn’t realized quite how tired I was.

I was going to have to head somewhere to get out of the heat. One of Ava’s friends worked at a coffee shop not far away. I had a feeling she’d give me an iced coffee without charging me and if I sat in an out of the way corner, I might get away with using one of their plugs to charge my generator. I put the generator in my backpack and headed there. After I was seated and deep into a game on my phone, Ava called. Reluctantly, I took the call. I couldn’t avoid her forever.

“You better be glad you answered” was the first thing she said to me.

“I’m handling things.”

“Do you realize I was about to come looking for you? How dare you tell me you borrowed money from some fucking loan sharks and had to take a second job to pay it back then stop talking to me. I know you were barely getting by before. You live in a shit hole.” If only she could see where I lived now. “I don’t want you supporting me when it means you’re suffering.”

“Ava, you’re going to finish your degree. It’s the one thing I can do for you.”

“No, it’s not. You can be my friend. You can answer my calls. You can come visit.”

Fuck. Was I doing this all wrong? “I want you to be able to follow your dreams.”

“Someday you’re going to have to stop punishing yourself. Nothing that happened was your fault.”

I shifted in my seat, turning to face the wall as if that would keep the other customers from listening to my call. “I was driving.”

“Yes, but the accident wasn’t your fault. Everyone investigating agreed on that.”

“If I had just been paying attention?—”

“No. You couldn’t possibly have anticipated what the other driver did. They headed right for you like they were trying to hit you.”

That’s what the cops had said, but it didn’t make any sense unless they were just out of their head. They did run after all. Ava and I had been around and around about the accident so many times. I knew she was right. The investigators concluded that the other car was one hundred percent at fault. I couldn’t have avoided the accident. I couldn’t have chosen where the car was hit or who got injured, but my heart wouldn’t believe that.

“I don’t like you around these dangerous men,” Ava said. I doubted she’d like much of anything about the life I’d been leading. “How the hell are you ever going to pay the money back?”

“I’m working for them until the debt is paid.”

“Working where? What about your job at Benny’s?”

“I’m still working there too.” I took the last sip of my iced coffee and wished I could get another or better yet, a muffin.

“When do you sleep?” Ava asked.

“When I can. Ava, I’m going to be fine.”

She huffed. “Where do they have you working?”

“A gay strip club.”

“Fuck, Liam.”

She’d hated when I’d worked as a stripper before. “I’m just dancing. It’s fine.”

“You’re taking your clothes off in a mafia strip club.”

“It’s no different from any other strip club.” Except Val was usually there. I had no intention of mentioning him to Ava.

“And that’s all they expect from you, just dancing?”

“I thought you approved of sex workers.” This was a fight we’d had before. She said she was fine with the idea of me dancing, but then made clear that she wasn’t.

“I do when they aren’t working under coercion. You owe these people, and I have no doubt they’ll do anything to get their money.”

“It’s not like the movies.” It very much was.

“I guess not, or you wouldn’t have any kneecaps.”

I was sure with most people Val wouldn’t hesitate to shoot off whatever body part would be most effective. “Just let me handle this. You don’t need to worry.”

“Liam, have you ever considered that maybe I’m as concerned about your future as you are about mine? Maybe the thought of losing you gives me nightmares. That I wake up wishing you were close by. I miss you, you know?”

I felt like I’d had the wind knocked out of me. “Of course you do. I didn’t mean to make it seem any other way, but I’m trying to give you the life you deserve, I don’t want you worrying about me.”

“I don’t want you worrying about me or sacrificing your life for me.”

“I owe you that.”

“No, you don’t owe me anything. Damn it.”

I propped my head against my hand, feeling like I couldn’t hold it up anymore. “Please finish school. I can manage for another year or so, then things will hopefully get easier.”

“I’m coming home in a few weeks when I have a break between summer school and the start of fall semester. We’re going to have a serious talk.”

“You don’t have to do that. It’s a long drive, and you know how miserable it is in the city in August.”

“I want to see you, Liam. It’s been way too long.” I wanted to see her too, but what the hell was I going to do, have her stay with me at the fucking Easy Self Storage?

“We can talk about your plans later, okay. I’ve got to go.”

“Are you working today?” The annoyance had faded from her voice, and she sounded worried now.

“In a little while. I need to get some lunch first.” It was so much easier to lie.

“Okay, do that. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I stayed at the coffee shop for the rest of the morning, playing games on my phone and people watching. There was a big, dark-haired man who I caught looking at me several times, but he was lying back on one of the couches, typing on a laptop. He was probably just working or killing time like I was.

When I knew I’d worn out my welcome, I left and headed to the gym that I’d been using as a shower facility. As I passed the front desk, the owner, a high school acquaintance of mine, yelled at me. “You haven’t paid your bill this month or last.”

“I know. I’ll get it to you as soon as I can.”

“I can’t keep letting you do this.”

“Just a few more days, okay?” There was no way in hell I’d have the money for him, but I really needed a shower. I considered actually doing a workout first, but with dancing six nights a week, I didn’t have the energy.

After I’d scrubbed myself and changed into cleaner clothes, I hung around in the air-conditioned locker room for as long as I thought I could, then I used the side exit to avoid another confrontation. Once I escaped, I started walking back toward the storage unit, dreading the long, hot afternoon. My generator was charged now, but I didn’t want to drain it much since I would need the fan to run all night. Or maybe I’d run the fan now anyway and just sleep in my car with the windows cracked. I could only imagine what Val would say about the safety of that.

Why the fuck did I care what he thought? Wasn’t I as safe in my car at the storage place as I’d been in my old apartment?

I pushed Val from my mind, as I walked. I saw a sign on a storefront as I walked by advertising free dinner at a nearby church that night. It said all were welcome, no questions asked. I’d kept some money for groceries, but I’d had to spend it when my car’s battery died. I had very little of the food Val had bought me left, and until I got another paycheck from Benny’s, I couldn’t afford much more. A free meal would be really great.

I noted the time and the address. When I passed by a library, I decided it would be a perfect place to sit for a while. It was cool and quiet, and I wouldn’t have as far to walk to dinner. I found an interesting book and read until time for the church to serve dinner. I noticed the same man from the coffee shop sitting in a chair and flipping through a magazine. It had to be a coincidence, right? Surely he wasn’t following me.

Once I thought I would miss the rush of people who would be there when dinner started, I left the library and headed toward the church.