20. Liam

20

LIAM

A s soon as Val’s footsteps retreated down the hall, I crumbled to the floor, curled into a ball, and let my tears fall. I didn’t cry quietly and gently like I had so many nights in the shitty apartment I’d been evicted from. Sobs wracked my body. I felt like I was crying out all of my insides.

How had my life come to this? It all started with the stupid accident I survived. My parents should be the ones still here, the ones taking care of Ava. They’d do such a better job than I have.

I’d made so many terrible choices, and now here I was, faced with the clear reality that I was falling for a mobster who was just interested in my body.

Then why is he paying you so generously? And why, when he could have anyone, is he risking his father’s wrath to be with you?

I didn’t know, but I had to stop hoping he felt more. I needed to just do what I had to do. Maybe I should tell him our bargain was over. I’d earn the money back by dancing only, no matter how long that took.

Or…I could find clients outside of work.

No. The chances of winding up dead that way were huge. I’d rather Val just shoot me if I was going to die.

I pulled myself off the floor, pulled on the robe Val had left for me—why did he bother to be thoughtful if he was just going to leave me?—then picked up the money and my discarded jock strap.

I prayed the rest of the dancers had already left. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. If someone even looked at me wrong, I was sure I’d start crying again. They all knew I’d been with Val, and they hated me for it. They wouldn’t hesitate to taunt me for looking sad afterward.

You might be sad, but you were a damn good whore for him.

No. I wasn’t listening to that evil little voice. I’d enjoyed it. I’d done that for me. I didn’t need Val to stay and pamper me. That was never part of the agreement.

I wiped away the last of my tears and opened the door. After waiting a moment, I determined there wasn’t anyone else around.

I sat down and counted the money Val had given me. Two thousand dollars. He’d said he wouldn’t pay my debt, but now he was giving me far more than I would have asked for. I needed the money, but I hated how he’d teased me into believing that he actually cared.