3. Chapter 3

3

Chapter 3

Rowan

" I 'm not ready for this, Lake." My mother's voice is a low, husky murmur as she faces my father.

I shift uncomfortably on the couch, picking at a loose thread on my sleeve. The tension in the room is so thick I could slice it with a knife. Dad's face is rigid with pain as he stands by the fireplace, his fingers drumming an uneven rhythm on the mantel.

"We can't keep avoiding it, Georgia," he says, his voice gentle but firm. "It's been a year since it happened. We need to talk about Mia."

My sister Kara sits ramrod straight in her armchair, her eyes fixed on a point somewhere beyond the wall. I can see the muscles in her jaw working, clenching and unclenching.

"What's there to talk about?" I blurt out, my voice sharper than I intended. "She's gone. End of story."

"Rowan," Dad warns, but I can't stop myself.

"No, really. What good does rehashing it do? It won't bring her back."

"Dammit, Ro!" Kara snaps, her eyes flashing. "Just because you can't do magic doesn't mean you get to be a total bitch about this."

"What does this have to do with my magic – or lack of it?" I snap back. "This is about—"

"Girls, please," Mom interjects, her voice trembling. "This is hard enough without you two at each other's throats."

I bite my lip, shame and anger warring inside me. I want to lash out again, but the hurt in Mom's eyes stops me cold.

Dad takes a deep breath. "We need to discuss the possibility that Mia might not—"

"Don't you dare say it," Kara interrupts. "She's alive. I know it."

"Sweetheart," Mom starts, reaching for Kara's hand, but my sister jerks away.

"No! I won't give up on her. Unlike some people," Kara adds, glaring at me.

I feel the familiar sting of tears and blink them back furiously. "That's not fair," I whisper.

Dad is silent as he faces the room, waiting for us to settle before he speaks. "It's time for us to send her to the stars." His voice grows choked on the final words. He's trying to be brave. To be strong for us. But I know he's hurting as much as we all are.

The stars…

I suck in a breath. Even though I've tried to convince myself that I'd be fine when this time came, I'm still not prepared. I choke down the flood of emotions that rush up my throat like bile. The air in the room suddenly feels too thick, too heavy.

"The Starlight Vigil?" Kara's eyes are wide. "Dad! No! It's too soon."

"Darling, your father is right." My grandmother's features cloud with pain. It's an unfamiliar expression on her usually serene face.

"But, Gran—"

"I haven't felt her in months, Kara." Gran's voice is raw.

My sister's head jerks at her words. "You haven't?"

My grandmother shakes her head slowly. "I've tried, darling. I've tried so hard to reach to her. But there's just…nothing."

"Oh, Gran…" Kara makes a little choking sound. "It's true?"

Our grandmother nods slowly, and I swallow down a lump in my throat.

Months.

The finality of it crashes over me like a tidal wave.

You knew this was coming, Rowan.

But even though I've been bracing myself, it still hurts. So damned much.

"Oh, my God." Mom's sobs cut through the haze, and I watch, feeling dazed, as Kara rushes to her side. They cling to each other, united in their grief. I should go to them; I know I should, but I can't move. I'm rooted to my seat, my mind reeling.

I barely register Gran crossing the room until I feel her warm hand envelop mine. Her touch is gentle, familiar, but it can't penetrate the numbness spreading through me.

"Rowan, dear," she murmurs, her voice soft and full of understanding. "It's okay to let yourself grieve."

I shake my head, the motion sharp and uncontrolled. "I can't," I whisper, my voice cracking. "If I start, I don't think I'll be able to stop."

Gran squeezes my hand. "That's part of it, darling. The pain…it's how we know how much we loved."

A sob builds in my chest, threatening to break free. I've spent so long being angry, feeling left behind by Mia's disappearance. Now, faced with the reality of her loss, I feel like I'm drowning.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye," I choke out, tears finally spilling over. "We fought before she left, and I never…"

Gran pulls me into her arms, and I bury my face in her shoulder, letting the tears flow freely for the first time in a year. The weight of unspoken words and missed opportunities crashes down on me as I cling to her, my body shaking with silent sobs.

Pull yourself together, Rowan!

Dad takes a deep breath as he clears his throat. The sound pulls us all back to the present, and I reluctantly pull away from Gran's comforting embrace.

"We need to discuss the details," Dad says softly, his voice thick with emotion. "The full moon is in three days. It's the right time for the Starlight Vigil."

Mom nods, wiping her eyes with a trembling hand. "You're right, Lake. We can't put this off any longer."

"Three days?" Kara's voice trembles. "That's so soon."

"It's tradition, darling," Gran explains gently. "The full moon is when our magic is strongest. It's when we can best send Mia's spirit to the stars."

I swallow hard, trying to push down the lump in my throat. "Who…who should we invite?"

"The elders, of course," Dad replies, his voice steadying as he focuses on the practicalities. "And the core members of our coven. Mia was well-loved by many."

Mom nods, her eyes taking on a determined gleam. "I'll handle the invitations. We'll need to prepare the sacred grove, too. Kara, can you help with that?"

My sister nods, her posture straightening. "Of course. I'll make sure everything's perfect."

I watch as Mom starts listing off tasks, her voice growing stronger with each item. It's like she's drawing strength from the planning, using it as a shield against the pain. I can see the same happening with Dad and Kara, their faces set in expressions of grim determination.

"Rowan," Mom turns to me, "can you handle the refreshments for after the ceremony? Nothing too elaborate, just something simple to honor Mia's memory."

I nod, grateful for a task I can actually accomplish without magic. "Yeah, I can do that."

As we continue discussing the logistics, our voices hushed and strained, I can't help but feel a swirl of dread and relief. This is really happening. We're saying goodbye to Mia.

And suddenly, the anger I've been stifling surges forward. How can we be doing this? Acting so calmly when something should be done?

They can't get away with it! They can't!

I can't take it anymore. The calm acceptance, the planning – it's too much. I leap to my feet, my whole body shaking with rage and grief.

"No!" I shout, my voice cracking. "We can't just…we can't just let this go!"

Everyone stares at me, shocked by my outburst. I can feel the tears streaming down my face, but I don't care.

"Those bloodsucking monsters took her from us!" I spit out the words. "They can't get away with this!"

My fists are clenched so tight my nails dig into my palms. The pain grounds me, fuels my anger.

"I swear," I continue, my voice trembling but growing stronger with each word, "I will make them pay for what they've done. I don't care how I do it…but they're going to be sorry!"

The silence in the room is deafening. I can see the shock on their faces, the concern in their eyes. But I don't care. All I can feel is the burning hatred in my chest.

"Rowan, sweetheart," Dad says softly, taking a step toward me. "We have to be realistic about this. We'll never know who took her. Not really." He reaches out, probably to comfort me, but I jerk away.

"Don't," I warn, my eyes blazing. "Don't try to calm me down. Don't say we don't know." I pull in a shuddering breath. "Because we do! It was them…those fucking animals. They pick us off like prey!"

"Rowan!" My grandmother's voice is sharp.

"What, Gran? I can't call them what they are? Sick, bloodthirsty predators." I look around the room, meeting each of their gazes in turn. "How can you all just sit here and plan a vigil when Mia's killers are still out there?"

My breathing is ragged, my heart thundering. I've never felt like this before – this combination of overwhelming grief and searing rage. It's terrifying, but it's also the most alive I've felt in months.

"I hate them," I declare, almost growling the words. "I hate every single vampire that exists. And I don't care how I do it…but I won't rest until they've paid for what they've done to Mia…to our family." As the words fade into the silence, I feel a prickle run over my skin. There's a small sizzling sound as I rub my fingers together, and sparks crackle over them. Great. Now my magic decides to make itself known. But maybe it's a sign.

I steady myself, trying to rein in my anger as Dad steps closer, his eyes full of understanding.

"Rowan," he says softly, "we all hate them. Every single one of us despises what they've done to our family, to our kind." His voice grows firmer. "And I promise you, we won't let this rest. But right now, Mia deserves to be honored. She deserves our respect and our love."

I take a shuddering breath, feeling the fight drain out of me. He's right, of course. As much as I want to lash out, to make someone pay, Mia deserves better than my rage right now.

"You're right," I whisper, wiping my eyes. "I'm sorry, I just—"

"We know, sweetheart," Mom says, her voice gentle. "We all feel it."

I nod, trying to pull myself together. "Okay. Let's…let's focus on the vigil."

And then, just as I start to turn back to the group, a deep, unfamiliar voice suddenly echoes in my head.

"The blood will flow if he has his way. It always does."

I freeze, my eyes going wide.

What the hell?

That definitely wasn't Poppy playing a prank. This was a man's voice, rich and dark, with an accent I can't place.

"Rowan?" Kara asks, frowning at me. "What's wrong?"

I shake my head, trying to clear it. "I…nothing. I just thought I heard something."

But as I try to focus back on the conversation, the rage bubbles up inside me again. That voice, whatever it was, only reinforces my determination. The vampires will pay for what they've done to us. To Mia. To all the witches they've hurt.

I may not be the most powerful witch, but I swear, I'll find a way to make them sorry.