32. Kellen

Chapter 32

Kellen

Kellen had never run faster in his fucking life then when two soft knocks pounded against his door.

He lunged across his apartment, straining his hamstring in the process, and yanked the front door open to find the face he most admired, that was the living manifestation of his heart, smiling up at him. Noella had changed out of her work apparel, now donning an off-the-shoulder white sweater tucked into dark jeans that clung to her legs, adhering to her glorious ass, and flared out at the bottom, fraying along the hem. Kellen reached for her at the same moment she reached for him. She leapt into his open arms and tied her legs around his waist with a delicious squeal.

Kellen pressed his face into her neck, inhaling the intoxicating fragrance of her moisturizer and perfume, and felt every muscle in his body ease, felt his heart breathe a sigh of relief to finally be reunited with the other half of his soul. He was so overcome by the feeling of her against him that he burst into tears.

“Don’t cry!” Noella exclaimed through an unsteady laugh, battling her own emotion.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he cried—Kellen fucking cried and couldn’t stop the deluge of tears embarrassingly raining down his face. She slipped her fingers under his chin to raise his face out of her neck, smudging his tears with her thumbs, a soft, questioning, awed look overtaking her features.

“You’re crying because you think I’m beautiful?” she whispered.

“I’m crying because my arms have lived in solitary my whole life and ached to hold you, before I even knew you existed. Now that you’re here…now that I get to experience this…I feel overwhelmed by how full I feel when for so long I felt so empty.” Noella loosed a moan from deep in her throat and bent down to press her velvety lips to his cheeks, kissing away every droplet, yearning to kiss away all his internal scars from loneliness, if only she could crawl inside him to mend them.

“You’re not alone anymore,” she mumbled against his lips, consuming his groan as his hand rose to cup her cheek and bring her even closer, their noses smushing together. He couldn’t get enough of the taste of her, couldn’t slow himself down to savor the flavor of her love because he’d been craving this so much this past week and he needed it right now, all at once, every part of her.

“Can you say it just once?” he requested, her nose nuzzling his. Noella knew what he meant.

“I’m yours, Kellen Kilic,” she promised, sweeping her lips down the bridge of his nose to kiss the tip.

Noella jumped down from his embrace, not separating herself from him though. She knitted her arms around his waist and rested her cheek against his chest, pressing her ear to his heart like she needed to hear evidence of his existence too, something to prove that he wasn’t a fantasy.

“Don’t ever leave me, Noella,” Kellen groaned into the top of her head, then felt her tense up in his arms.

“We should…we should really talk…about the end of the school year.” Noella lifted her face out of his chest, her mouth twisting from left to right in odd shapes as she struggled to organize her thoughts. “I hadn’t planned to renew a contract with Delmarth. I want to go back to the Earthly Plane.”

Kellen took a moment to temper his first reaction—which was to fall to his knees and beg her not to go—and paced his breathing so when he spoke, his tone wouldn’t come off dismissive or angry.

“What about your life here?” He was proud of himself for how calm he sounded. Noella sighed.

“Until two months ago, I didn’t have a life here. I was utterly alone. I was miserable in Cavale. And now…after the past seven weeks with you…now I feel…very torn.” Kellen caught her chin when she choked on a sob, bawling, “I miss my sister. I miss her so much, Kellen. She’s been my everything my whole life, the savior for me the way you were for the twins, and it physically hurts to not be with her. Telling myself that I would reunite with her in June was what got me through those first four weeks here. When I think about leaving Cavale now…about separating from my life here, from Josefyn and Akio, from the twins…from you …that pain is magnified tenfold. It feels like, with either choice, I’d be choosing to forever give up a huge part of my heart. I don’t know how someone makes that kind of choice and lives with the consequences.”

“Maybe you wouldn’t have to give up one for the other.” He brushed a kiss over her brow, pulling her back against his chest. “You’re here for seven more months. Let’s try and find out if there are ways for you to pass between the two worlds. If you choose to stay in Cavale, maybe there’s a way to get your sister to come here, or for you to go back there for a short time to visit her. Maybe there’s a way for me to go back and forth so the twins and I can visit you there. There must be a way, since Headmistress Dyer was able to travel to the Earthly Plane to meet with you for your interview. It doesn’t have to be one or the other, baby. We can find a way to make this work where we wouldn’t need to separate and you wouldn’t need to compromise anything.”

“You…” Noella’s bottom lip trembled. “You would really do that for me? You would go to the Earthly Plane to see me, even with how much you detest it?”

“I would do fucking anything for you, Noella Rose. And the Earthly Plane can’t be too bad if it produced my favorite creature who’s ever lived.” Kellen laughed when Noella slammed her face in his chest and wept hysterically. “Sweetheart, don’t cry,” he chuckled, wrapping her ponytail around his hand to pull her head back, then leaned down and swept his lips across her cheeks, returning the gesture of kissing away her tears.

“I know I haven’t made this easy for you,” she sniveled, sniffling, “but I need you to know how much I care about you, Kellen. I need you to trust in that. I wasn’t pushing you away because there weren’t feelings here. I never meant to dismiss our connection and pretend it didn’t mean something to me. It was a constant struggle between my head and my heart, what I wanted to do and what I thought I should do. I’m going to make up for all the time my hesitancy stole from us. I promise.”

“Baby, you don’t have to make up for anything.” Her fingers clinched his biceps while his hands traveled down to cup her behind. “We’re here now. Let’s not go backwards and live in that regret. Let’s go forwards and live in the joy.”

Noella’s eyes shimmered. “Who knew you could be so insightful?”

“Definitely not me.” Kellen’s lips attached to her throat when she threw her head back with a laugh. He groaned, “I need to check on dinner, but I really don’t want to separate myself from you.”

“Then don’t. I want to come with you.” Noella traipsed after him into the kitchen, squeezing her arms around his stomach so tightly that he coughed out a wheeze. “What’re you making?”

“I think you’ll like it.” He opened the oven for her to peek inside. “It’s—”

“brEAD!” she shrieked, reveling in the large loaf currently baking on the oven rack that had sundried tomatoes, garlic, and beef amalgamated into the dough. She bounced on her feet like a child and sprang off her toes to leap onto his shoulders, planting kiss after kiss on the back of his neck and swinging around to land them on his cheek. “You’re the best. That smells so good. I’m so excited for dinner.”

“I’ve never seen you like this,” Kellen marveled, gripping her waist and lifting her up onto his counter.

“You’ve never seen me fully surrender to my heart’s desire,” Noella told him, her cheeks glowing.

He cocked a brow. “Oh, is that what this is? You surrendering to your heart’s desire?”

“Mhm. And my heart’s obsessed with you.” Kellen’s body felt buoyant from bliss as he spread her legs apart and stepped between them. Her fingers greedily crawled up his chest before emmeshing in his hair.

“Right back at you, gorgeous.” Noella trailed a sequence of tiny, doting kisses down the line of his chin. Love consumed his entire being, his heart whelmed by the way her lips traveled down the expanse of scruff on his jaw with innocence, care, and curiosity. His limbs disintegrated into something ethereal from an influx of desire. His hands gripped the edge of the counter to maintain his balance. “After our talk, when the twins leave,” Kellen whispered in her ear, his warm breath dripping down her neck, “I plan to devour you, Noella Rose. I want to explore every inch of your body with my tongue, my teeth, my soul. I want to consume every beautiful sound you make and get drunk off your need, for you are the most addictive drug.” The moan Noella loosed prompted Kellen’s jeans to become painfully tight. His fingers scraped up her thighs. “No more waiting. No more fighting this. You’re finally mine, and I want your body to recognize that, to feel my adoration, as well as your heart.”

“It does,” she keened, breaths heaving out of her when his fingers slid up to her waist and untucked her sweater from inside her jeans to careen across her bare stomach, floating around to splay on her spine. He slid her forward on the counter so her crotch rear-ended with his. Her feet dug into his ass. “I wish you could feel the way I feel about you, Kellen. I wish you could experience it in your own body. It’s like a river with no end. A freefall with no ground to cushion your fall. A sky with no limit.”

“It sounds like how I feel every single day.” Kellen’s nose dragged down the side of her face, his lips haunting her flesh. She stretched her neck to angle her face closer to his mouth. He smiled against her throat, then burrowed his face deeper inside her neck, his tongue lapping her pulse.

“What’re you doing?” she squeaked, her head unconsciously tipping back to give him more access.

“I want to taste the proof that you’re alive,” he murmured almost absentmindedly. He lavished the column of her neck in tiny nips, sucking at the skin of her throat. Her back arched at its own accord.

“What does my heartbeat taste like?” she whispered.

“Like love,” he replied without thinking, lost in the moment, in her. Noella gasped at the word love . His hand meandered up to curve around her chin, tilting her head towards him so he could capture her gasp in a kiss.

“Kellen,” she groaned, her fingers releasing his olive green henley shirt to tangle in his curls.

“The way you say my name is music.” Kellen yanked her bottom lip between his teeth. “Sing for me again, baby.”

“Kellen—” Her words were vanquished by a moan.

“Beautiful,” he groaned, pulling back so the tip of his nose kissed the tip of hers. “What an exquisite opera you are, my sweet Noella.” Of course the twins decided to arrive at that exact moment.

“Come on, guys!” Jarion shouted, covering his eyes, while Laya vibrated similarly to the way Noella had reacted to the bread in the oven, bouncing on her toes.

“I’m taking your keys away,” Kellen declared before reluctantly pulling away from Noella.

She jumped down from the counter and roamed around the kitchen island to make her way into the living room, correctly sensing that Laya was about to bound forward. His little sister vaulted across the room to pounce on Noella, the force of her elation knocking them both onto the couch.

“FINALLY!” Laya squealed, Noella laughing without abandon.

“This is the best greeting ever!” She lifted one hand off Laya and extended it out to slap Jarion’s proffered high-five.

“Do we get to call you Noella now?” Jarion teased. Noella’s eyes squinted into mocking slits.

“No one calls her Noella but me,” Kellen argued, then unfurled his arm so Jarion could fit himself against Kellen’s body.

“You did good, Kell,” Jarion murmured in his ear. He clapped Kellen on the back. “I’m happy for you.”

A lump fouled Kellen’s throat. He ruffled Jarion’s hair, knocking the beanie off the top of his head.

“This hat is mine, in case you forgot,” Kellen joshed. Jarion swung his fist playfully near Kellen’s eye. He ducked in time before the crunched ball of fingers made contact with his cheekbone.

“How long until dinner? I’m starving.” Laya rubbed her stomach.

“Two minutes. Why don’t you guys set the table while Noell—er, Ms. Rose,” he stumbled on his words, unsure what to call her in front of the twins, “helps me with dinner.” Noella pushed herself off the couch.

“That’s part of what we need to discuss tonight,” she said, strutting across the living room to meet Kellen. Fuck, her gait was so unintentionally seductive, her curves the epitome of sex. “If you guys can promise not to slip up when we’re at school…I’d be happy if, when we’re in private, you call me Ella. I don’t need to be Ms. Rose when we’re at home.” The corners of Kellen’s eyes burned when she referred to being with them as home.

This was his home.

Not Delmarth. Not even the cottage. It was these three people. These three angels all smiling at each other.

Nothing else mattered beyond them.

While the twins set the table, Kellen switched the oven off and shuffled the loaf of bread onto a serving tray. Noella busied herself with pouring four glasses of water for the group before carrying them to the table in two separate journeys, kissing the air near Kellen’s cheek on her way out of the kitchen the second time. As Kellen approached them with the master loaf, Noella, Jarion and Laya began leading a deafening chorus of slamming their fists into the table and yelling at the top of their lungs in anticipation of their meal.

“We’re going to get a noise complaint,” Kellen chuckled, the three of them fragmenting into stitches of laughter.

“Alright, Kilic-slash-Ates family. Let’s dig in!” Noella cheered, accepting the knife from Kellen to portion herself a large chunk of bread.

Laya and Jarion exchanged a quick look.

“We actually wanted to talk to you about that, Kell,” Jarion said, nodding to Laya to give her the floor.

“We’ve been talking…” Laya took over, “…and now that Mom is gone from our lives…we want you to officially adopt us.” Noella placed her hand on Kellen’s shoulder when his bottom lip began quivering. “Dad won’t be out of Terminus for another four years, so I don’t know how that would play into this, but we don’t want our name to be Ates anymore. We want to be Laya and Jarion Kilic. Not because of Mom. Because of you.” All thought emptied from his brain.

“I…I don’t know what to say,” Kellen whispered through a sob. Noella leaned over to kiss away the tear that escaped down his cheek. “Of course I will adopt you both. It would be my honor. I’m already your legal guardian, but I’ll figure out with Brunner if it’s even possible to adopt you while Ciaran is in Terminus, or if I have to wait until he’s out. I can call him first thing tomorrow.”

“Great.” Laya and Jarion slipped their hands into Kellen’s.

“I love you guys so much. I’m so fucking proud of you and proud to be your brother.” He kissed both of their knuckles before releasing their hands.

“So how do we make this work between all of us?” Jarion asked Noella, ripping off a chunk of his bread and tossing it into his mouth.

“This is unchartered territory for me,” she admitted, smoothing her napkin on her lap. “If we were on the Earthly Plane and I developed feelings for a parent of my students, I would stop seeing you for counseling and refer you to someone else. We don’t have that luxury here, since I’m the only counselor in the entire kingdom, so I’m going to need to make adjustments as I go. When we’re in a school setting, we need to be professional. I can’t be Ella to you. I am Ms. Rose, and you are my students. When we’re in sessions together, we can only discuss our counseling goals. No mention of anything personal. I’ve told Kellen that our confidentiality in our sessions extends into our relationship outside of school too. Things you tell me in confidence in our sessions will not be shared outside of my office unless you want them to be shared with Kellen. In school, I have to treat you guys like all the other students because I need to ensure I’m always acting equitably towards everyone. No special treatment because I’m dating your brother. When we’re outside of school, we shouldn’t speak about the contents of our sessions anymore. Let our counseling work remain within the school hours to create some distance between our professional and personal lives. This isn’t meant to cut you off from telling me things when we’re not in school. When I leave school at the end of the day, I put my counseling hat away so I can focus on Ella’s needs. I need that boundary for myself so I don’t drown in what everyone else is feeling, because so much of my day is being consumed by other people’s emotions, if that makes sense.”

“It does,” Laya confirmed. Jarion nodded too.

“I need to maintain that boundary even with you guys outside of school,” Noella continued. “I haven’t been good with that, and I take full accountability for my own slip ups, when I’ve asked you about certain things we’ve spoken about in counseling in front of your brother. Even though we all knew what we’d spoken about, I shouldn’t have done that. I won’t do that anymore. I will be more careful with maintaining our boundaries. When I’m with you like this, I don’t want to be Ms. Rose. I don’t want that pressure. I just want the freedom to be Ella.”

“We want that too,” Jarion said.

“Whatever you need from us,” Laya promised. Noella touched her hand to her heart in reception of their acceptance. “We love you, and we love you for our brother. We want you both to be happy.”

“You two have stolen so much of my heart,” Noella said, dabbing away tears. “I adore you both more than words could express. Thank you for being so understanding.” Kellen drew circles on Noella’s back.

“Feel better?” he asked her. She exhaled a relieved breath and nodded. “Isn’t she so pretty?” Kellen admired, cradling her cheek. Noella turned her face into his palm to peck the center of his hand.

“Don’t be gross,” Jarion ribbed, pretending to gag.

“I love it.” Laya settled her chin between her hands and grinned. “I’ve always wanted a big sister.”

“I always wanted little siblings,” Noella reciprocated. “I couldn’t have asked for three better people to call my family.”

A single tear dripped from Kellen’s lashes. Followed by another. Followed by a rivulet of liquid joy.

All the isolation he’d endured, all the pain, it had been worth it to arrive at this moment. In this place.

With these people. His people. His whole heart. His home.

Ella couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt an almost intimidating amount of happiness—scary in the sense that her heart was teetering on the edge of rupturing from the overpacked feeling, the universe chockfull of bliss. It felt daunting to believe it to be real, that the world was capable of holding this much feeling, that she was capable of holding that much joy inside her.

She’d spent time with Laya, Jarion and Kellen outside of school, but tonight felt different. Freer, less encumbered, her heart unfettered from the restraints of her mind telling her she wasn’t allowed to experience this, her soul now fully able to participate in the moment. She drank up every story the twins told about Kellen, and the stories Kellen shared about them in retribution. Water squirted out of her nose from hysterical laughter when Kellen told her the story of a time when the twins were two and he’d been helping put Jarion and Laya’s diapers on. Jarion had kicked Kellen so hard in the face that Kellen collapsed with a broken nose and was unconscious for several minutes. When liquid shot out of Ella’s nostril and sprayed the table, Kellen started yelling at Laya to run to the bathroom so she wouldn’t piss on Kellen’s chair from laughing.

Ella luxuriated in bearing witness to the beautiful connection these three siblings had with one another. What an honor it was to bask in their respect and adoration. Their intense devotion and years of pain tethered them together in spite of their parents’ ploy to keep them separate, those ropes attaching their souls to one another giving them strength. Ella prayed that one day, she could have Rylee and Mason here with them, or perhaps the twins and Kellen could join them on the Earthly Plane. She wanted the chance to relish having all her favorite people around one table, all these gorgeous souls who were tied together through similar experiences and clung to light to push out the dark.

As they were saying their goodbyes, Laya wrapped her arms around Ella’s stomach and whispered, “I’ve never seen my brother like this. Thank you.”

“Seen him like what?” Laya moved back so Ella could see and feel her smile in every corner of her body.

“Not tormented.” Ella’s eyes stung. “He thinks he’s hidden it from us better than he has. I’ve seen how haunted he is. How much what we went through tortures him. I know how guilty he feels for not having done something sooner to stop it. You’ve helped him start to let that go. When I look at him now, his guilt isn’t the first thing I see. His eyes are so much lighter. I can see his soul again, and it’s all thanks to you.” Ella squeaked a sob as she pulled Laya back into her arms.

“You are a beautiful person, Eulaylia Kilic.” Laya cried when Ella called her Kilic instead of Ates. “Don’t ever lose that part of you that is so open to the world around you. The way you see people is such a gift.”

“Thank you, Ms. Ro… Ella.” She kissed the side of Laya’s head, then relinquished her so she could hug Jarion.

“I’m really happy you’re going to be in our lives forever, Ella,” Jarion whispered in her ear.

“Me too, Jare.” She adjusted his beanie that she knocked out of place. “I’m proud of you.”

“For what?” he stammered.

“For admitting you’re happy.” Jarion’s eyes shimmered with the depth of that feeling like he couldn’t fathom how it was possible for him to experience any sort of contentment, let alone be able to put words to it.

“Get a good night’s rest, you two,” Kellen said, slinking his arm around Ella’s shoulders. “You know what starts tomorrow?”

“MACCABIAH!” the twin shouted in unison.

Ella had been looking forward to experiencing what everyone at Delmarth deemed the best week of the year. The last week of November, the school split into two competitive teams, a red team and a gold team based off the school colors, and hosted a series of events intended for the students to practice their powers and show off what they’d learned throughout the semester. Their participation in Maccabiah counted toward their final grades in Power Practice and was considered a midterm exam, though none of the students viewed it through that negative lens. From what Kellen had told her about the event, the totality of both the student body and the faculty gave themselves fully to the healthy competition. She was just as excited for the games to begin as the twins were.

“Do you know what team we’re on yet?” Jarion asked his brother on their way to the door.

“We’ll find out tomorrow morning,” Kellen answered. Kellen and Ella had a staff meeting scheduled for before first period, where Headmistress Dyer intended to announce which faculty members were being disseminated to which teams. Siblings were always placed on the same teams to protect against familial rifts, so Jarion, Laya and Kellen were guaranteed to be put on the same team.

“Oh, I hope we’re on the same team as Ella!” Laya cried, jostling Ella’s arm sweetly. She blew the two of them a kiss before she shepherded Jarion out the front door, sensing how much Kellen and Ella wanted to be alone.

“ Finally,” Kellen sighed, twisting his arms around Ella’s shoulders from behind and pressing his lips to the corner of her mouth. “I have you all to myself.” Ella hummed as she leaned back in his arms.

“Tonight was perfect,” she sighed, her breath bleeding into a moan as Kellen drizzled soft, feather-light kisses over her eyes, nose, cheeks, and chin, saving her lips for last. By the time his mouth stroked against hers, she was desperate for it, hunger pumping furiously through her veins.

Kellen either sensed her need or smelled it, because he didn’t hesitate to heft her into his arms in an effortless sweep, like she weighed nothing, and carry her to the back of the apartment to his bedroom, laying her flat on his duvet. Ella lifted her arms on instinct, allowing Kellen to peel her sweater off her body, revealing the black lace bra she wore underneath.

“Are you kidding?” he gasped, eyes drugged with desire crashing into hers. “You’re not real. There’s no fucking way.” Kellen abruptly climbed off the bed, crossing the room to the full length mirror that was perched against his wall, and lifted it from its resting position to bring it over to his wardrobe, arranging the mirror against the cupboard so Ella could see herself on the bed. He then crawled back onto the mattress and reclaimed his spot on top of Ella, sitting on her stomach. “Look at yourself, Noella. Look how breathtaking you are.” Ella turned her head and met her reflection in the mirror.

Her blonde hair had spilled out of the weak elastic holding it together in a ponytail and now torrented over the comforter like leaked honey. Lucid, crimson color swept across her cheeks and flowed down her chest to where her breasts were nearly tumbling out of her bra. She barely skimmed those details, only devoting a fleeting moment to their inspection, and chose to bestow all her focus onto her eyes, on how they glowed, how they smiled, on the rapture pouring out of them.

“What do you see?” Kellen asked her, tracing shapes on her cheek with the tip of his nose.

“I see…peace,” she whispered, her back flying off the mattress when Kellen sucked at the skin of her throat.

“You want to know what I see?” She nodded. “I see my heart in a physical form. I see my salvation, my hero. I see perfection.”

“I need you closer if you’re going to say such sweet things.” Ella hooked her ankles behind Kellen’s back and wrenched him down into her.

“I’m scared…” Kellen’s eyes suddenly filled with tears. “I’m scared I won’t be perfect for you, Rose.”

Ella captured Kellen’s face between her palms, smudging away the streaks of tears on his cheeks.

“You don’t have to be perfect, Kilic,” she said, nuzzling her nose against his. “You just have to be mine.”

“Easy. Done. I’m yours, Noella. Without a doubt fucking yours .” She swallowed a sob.

Ella looked at Kellen and saw every version of him that he’d been for her. Her enemy. Her reluctant colleague. The fierce protector of his siblings. Her ally. Her best friend. Her guardian. Her lover.

The extent of her feeling—the extent of her love for him—suddenly engulfed her so forcefully that she couldn’t breathe. This man who had spent her first four weeks in Cavale making her life a living hell, throwing her into walls and nearly drowning her in a pool, was not the man who hovered above her now with tears in his eyes, essentially declaring his love, yet somehow, someway, she even loved the man he’d been then, because it had led them to this moment, here on his bed. There wasn’t a single thing about her life, no matter how tragic it had been at times, that she would take back or change, because everything she’d been through had brought her here. If she hadn’t suffered abuse at the hands of her mother, if her own school counselor hadn’t been such a colossal failure and never noticed the warning signs to help Ella, she never would have been inspired to become a figure of support for children that she’d lacked growing up. She never would have ended up going to grad school to become a school counselor. She never would have landed her job at Delmarth.

All of that pain, all of that agonizing uncertainty that made her look up at the sky and beg whatever God could hear her to help her understand why, why this, why her, had culminated in this.

In him. Her ending.

Her beginning.

The start of her life.

The start of her heart.

The love of her life.

It all was so clear to her now. How could she have ever wasted so much of their time denying this?

She would waste none of their time ever again.

“I cannot imagine ever feeling this way for anyone else,” she swore in a hushed whisper, those words not sufficient to express the magnitude of her feelings, but they were a start as she came to terms with the depth of her love for him. “I know I never will. You have all of me, Kellen Kilic. No distance will ever come between that. That kind of feeling cannot be constrained by time or space or even the membrane of an interdimensional void. No matter where in the universe I am, you have all of me, forever.” Kellen’s fingers curved around the insides of her knees.

With no preamble, he proceeded to roll them on the bed and position her legs on either side of him so she now straddled his waist. Her hands flew out to steady herself and sunk into the duvet on either side of his head.

“Did you just whisper the most beautiful declaration?” He gripped her chin to guide her head down, then mumbled against her lips, “Say it one more time, sweetheart. Loud enough for the whole universe to hear.”

“You have all of me, Kellen. Forever.” Ella could’ve drowned in his loving gaze and died happy.

“A couple weeks ago, you asked me what I thought this mind connection thing between us was. I said I didn’t have any theories.”

“Which I knew was a lie,” Ella said, tracing his mouth with her index finger. Kellen caught the tip of her finger between his teeth. The impression of the sharp edge of his tooth piercing the pad of her finger created an incendiary throb between her legs.

“I think the mind connection between us is a mating bond brewing.” The oxygen in Ella’s chest dribbled out of her lungs through a gasp. With his hands fondling her backside, he declared, with such a staggering amount of conviction that it left her breathless, “I think you’re my Cavalisha, Noella Rose.”

Ella couldn’t speak for several minutes.

“Is that even possible?” she stammered when she could finally talk again, when her breath had returned to her and she no longer felt like she was going to faint. “I’m not from Cavale. I’m not a Primordial.”

“Aros’s mate is a human, not that I’m comparing myself to Aros Cavalian.” Kellen tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I think you were meant to come here, Noella. To heal our world. To heal me .” He found himself blathering, a floodgate opened by the innocence of her gaze. “We’re raised to believe the Gods will provide us with the guidance and support to reach our fullest potential. There are contingencies to that support, though. It rests on the expectation that we will extend our deepest veneration in return, that our undying love for them will be rewarded with prosperity. Believing in the Gods has never gifted me anything other than isolation and loneliness…until the day I met my siblings. And then, the day I met you.” Kellen’s eyes trickled up Ella’s body, an achingly slow ascent before landing on her face. “Those are the only times I have ever felt I had a God on my side. The deeper I’ve fallen into you…and I say fallen into instead of for because it feels as though my heart tumbled out of my chest and landed inside you, and I will forever be searching for my soul within the depths of your being…I’ve begun to see that it was not the Gods who led me to you, for they are not the Gods I believe in most. It’s you, Noella.”

Kellen’s hands framed her face, his thumbs smearing away the beads of tears collecting on her cheeks.

“You are my divinity,” he proclaimed, planting a kiss between her brows. “You are my God, Noella. You are the only thing I will ever follow in life and death, the only being I will ever worship.”

“Kellen,” she sobbed, her fingernails scoring his back to drag him closer so she could curl around him. “You paint such beautiful portraits with your words.” He kissed away her tears, one by one. “I only hope that someday I can offer you something as precious as the gifts you’ve given me.”

“You already have, baby.” Kellen’s hand swept down Ella’s back, pressing her closer into him so there wasn’t a single point on their bodies that weren’t connected somehow through touch. “The gift is you, right here in my arms. The way you’re looking at me right now, like the amount of passion you feel for me could combust you, is more precious than anything you could ever paint for me with words. All I need is the promise of that look, on me, forever.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“I promise,” she vowed, that pledge flooding her bloodstream, becoming the collagen that fashioned her bones.

Kellen reeled up so Ella was no longer hovering over him, but seated fully on his torso. Her fingers plunged into his hair, her head tipping back from the weight of desire as Kellen’s lips traveled across her stomach, drifting up to her bra, where his tongue flicked over her nipple through the lace fabric before he replaced his tongue with his teeth, gathering the material into his mouth so he could suck at her breast.

“Kellen,” she groaned, grinding her pelvis into his, eager for a spark of friction to relieve the burn there. “Take it off. I want to feel you.”

“I want more time valuing you in this glorious ensemble.” Ella groaned a sound of pure frustration. Kellen laughed, the sound skittering under her skin. “Getting impatient, are we, sweetheart?”

“I want you, Kellen,” she snarled.

“And I want you, my beautiful, precious Noella.” He licked up her throat to find her lips again. He pulled his head back to look at her as he said, “We only get this once. A first coming together of our bodies and hearts. We will have a lifetime of this kind of connection, but we only get one chance to first experience it. I don’t want to rush any of it. I have relished the time we spent getting to know one another. I want to maintain that respectful pace. I want to savor every minute of your heart’s surrender, because you deserve an unhurried worship, not a rushed adulation.”

Kellen kissed away the tears building in the corners of her eyes. “You are so sweet,” she croaked, not understanding how she got so lucky as to be loved this beautifully by someone this special.

“I have loved being your friend, Noella, but I’m going to love being your lover even more.”

Kellen’s mouth crashed into hers, and for a moment, they were simply a clutter of tongues and teeth and groans of need, the personification of lust in their creation of an entangled statue. Ella finally had the chance to gather the fabric of Kellen’s shirt and drag it up over his head, chucking it across the room without a care for where it landed. Her hands couldn’t touch all of him fast enough, forgetting his request for a slow pace as her fingers drifted across every burly, powerful sinew of muscle, her fingernails sketching lines down the hard ridges of his chest. Kellen’s head fell back at the sensation of her marking him, a groan vibrating inside his throat. Ella seized his chin to lift his head.

“Mine,” she declared, the corner of Kellen’s mouth quirking up at the possessive edge to her tone.

“You have me body and soul, Noella Rose, in every lifetime we’re blessed to exist in together.” Ella tipped forward and traced her tongue over the stretch of his abs as a reward for his declaration.

“Mine,” she asserted again, her teeth skimming the scales outlining the sides of his throat. Kellen answered that assertion by sliding his hand inside her jeans and giving her ass a sharp squeeze.

“ Mine,” he growled back.

“Yours,” she answered, prompting Kellen to finally put them both out of their misery and skate his hand around the inside to the front of her jeans, reaching the apex of her thighs. He slid his finger underneath the lace material of her panties.

“Does this match your bra?” Ella nodded. Kellen hissed, “Did you wear this for me, Noella?”

“Don’t give yourself that much credit. I always like to match.”

“If this has been existing under your clothes the entire time we’ve known each other, then I sincerely apologize for ever suggesting that you don’t have a fashion sense.” Ella pulled back when Kellen tried to kiss her jaw.

“When did you suggest that?” she asked with confusion, not recollecting them ever having that conversation.

“The night of The Dow.”

“I don’t remember you saying that.” Kellen’s eyes rounded, grasping his mistake. “What haven’t you told me, Kilic?”

“Um…” He removed his hand from inside her pants. He took a deep breath, then said, “The night of The Dow, I came back to my apartment and found you in the hallway. You were wasted and leaning against my door because you thought it was yours. I helped you get back inside your own apartment.”

“You put the trash bin next to my head,” Ella realized. Kellen nodded. “I woke up wondering how I’d gotten inside my apartment. Why don’t I remember any of that?”

“Because I took those memories away from you. I was trying to convince myself back then that I hated you, and it made it easier to swallow that lie when you hated me too. If you had remembered, I was afraid it would’ve made you soften to me, and that would make it harder for me to keep my distance from you. Not that I was ever able to.” Ella glided her fingers out of his hair to cradle his face.

“It’s always been our destiny to end up here,” she murmured, her thumbs floating over his mouth.

“I couldn’t agree more.” Kellen pressed a kiss to her fingers.

“While I truly adore slow and sweet Kellen, I’m ready for you to fuck me now.” Kellen coughed out a stunned cackle.

“Lift your hips so I can get these jeans off you. I need to see the matching set in full.” Ella heeded the command and rose up on her knees so Kellen could unbutton her jeans and slide the denim down her thighs. “ Fuck,” Kellen gasped when the denim fell away and he could see the black lace thong. He didn’t hesitate to lurch upward and clamp his mouth over the bud of her clit through the lace, his hands slithering up the backs of her thighs to keep her from toppling over.

“Kell,” she moaned, her fingers diving into his hair, making a home for herself in his curls.

Kellen’s mouth disappeared from between her legs when he leaned back.

“You’ve never called me Kell before.” His expression was wholesome awe. “Say it again.” Ella smiled.

“Kell,” she purred. Kellen rewarded her by yanking her panties down and returning his lips to her clit, this time with no barrier of lace hindering him from the connection of her skin and his teeth.

“Tell me how you want it,” he begged her, sucking at the sensitive bud, his eyes locked on hers.

“You. On top. I want to be able to look at your face the whole time.”

“Would you like to come for the first time with me inside you, or on my tongue right now?”

Ella’s skin was no longer composed of human flesh, but of uninhibited fire. “Everything. I want everything with you, Kell.”

“Thank you for gracing my ears with my new favorite words.” Kellen’s tongue flicked her clit, and she nearly yanked a handful of his hair out of his scalp. He worked her in tender strokes, upholding his promise to not rush a single gesture, even as her hips drove towards him in a silent entreat for more. When his tongue slid inside her and applied that extra force she’d been craving, she exploded almost instantly, her orgasm rampaging through her with unexpected potency, her thighs clenching from the pressure to remain upright. The scruff peppered over Kellen’s jaw tickled her thighs as he drew his head back and presented her a gleaming smile, her arousal glossed over his lips.

“No more waiting,” she demanded, repeating his words from earlier.

Kellen rotated them so she now lay beneath him. Ella clawed his jeans down his wiry legs, his erection springing free, and circled him with her fingers, leaning up to surround the crest of his cock with her lips.

“No,” Kellen gasped, tugging her hair gently to jerk her head back. “If you do that, I will come right now, and I want to come for the first time inside you.” Ella nodded and slipped her fingers off him.

Kellen replaced Ella’s hands on his cock with his own.

He inclined forward and positioned himself at her entrance. It suddenly occurred to her that they needed protection.

“What about a condom?” Kellen laughed at her nervous squeak, kissing her on both cheeks.

“I take a magic-infused birth control pill with my morning coffee. We’re good.” Ella eased against the mattress.

“So men take birth control in Cavale, not women?” She grumbled, “I wish the Earthly Plane could catch up with that.”

“Women take birth control on the Earthly Plane?” Kellen exclaimed, “That’s fucking bullshit. Why should women have to suffer through that when they’re the ones who end up carrying the child?”

Ella gushed, “You just reached a new level of perfect.” He cackled, teasing the tip of her nose with his teeth. “I want to see your wings,” she suddenly declared before he could slide himself inside her.

“Right now?” he spluttered. She nodded. “I…I’ve never done that before.”

“I want all of you, Kellen Kilic. I want to feel and claim all of you.” Kellen’s eyes softened before he bestowed a kiss on her nose.

His muscles flexed before two brilliant dragon wings unfolded from his back, the golden sheen varnished over the black scales catching the ambient light and painting gilded beams onto the walls around them, orange sprinkled within the hue from the orange outlining the rims of his wings.

“Beautiful,” she breathed, reaching up to trail her fingers across the leathery membrane.

“I was thinking the same thing looking at you,” he said, dropping his forehead onto hers. “You ready to become mine, Noella Rose?”

“I’ve been waiting my whole life, Kellen Kilic,” she answered before he sheathed himself fully inside her.

“ Holy fuck,” Kellen roared. Ella’s fingernails tunneled into his biceps as he reared over her.

“ Wow,” she gasped, her breath palpitating out of her. She’d never experienced anything like this before. Her whole body was filled with frothing energy, a sensation she didn’t have a name for surging through her bloodstream, rippling across her bones, becoming the petroleum that powered her body.

“Fuck,” Kellen said again, this time through tears. “You were worth the fucking wait, sweetheart.”

“So were you,” Ella cried, understanding now what it felt like to be truly worshipped.

Kellen sobbed before he began thrusting inside of her, no rush to each piston of his hips, a slow, sweet glide of himself in and out of her. That energy under her skin kept amplifying, like it was trying to swell large enough to break free from the confinement of her flesh and stretch over to reach him, like it belonged with him somehow. Ella had no way of confirming for sure, but she wondered if that feeling was a mating bond between them, if Kellen was right about his hypothesis that they were Cavalisha.

He certainly felt like the other half of her soul, the missing piece of her she’d been searching for all her life.

They couldn’t stop kissing. She could only breathe properly now when his mouth was fastened to hers. Any separation, and she lost her breath and forgot how to function without that connection.

You’re so close, that female voice yelled in her head. End this all now. Tell him you love him.

Too many things were happening at once for Ella to have time to question the voice or listen to it. Those three words on Ella’s tongue turned to molten lava before she could breathe life into them.

“Look at the mirror,” Kellen commanded her, sucking at her earlobe. Ella’s eyes flung to the mirror, examining their joined bodies and Kellen’s wings arching above them like a shield to protect them from the rest of the world. “Do you see how perfectly your body fits with mine? We were made for each other, Noella. You are not just my friend. You are not just my lover, or my prized God. You are my perfect counterpart. The mate I choose for myself, whether there’s a true bond between us or not.”

Noella’s climax ripped through her. Her eyes scrunched as she screamed, his name rolling of her tongue over and over again, a litany she sang to the Gods as thanks for giving her the gift of this beautiful man.

Kellen followed closely behind her with a thunderous bellow accompanying his own climax, going still inside of her as he emptied himself, all his love, all his pain, into the safekeeping of her body.

She took all of it in her with gratitude, and with her lips over his, she swore an oath to never let him feel that pain again.