32. Chapter 32

I stepped out of the intensive outpatient clinic today for the last time—that was the plan, anyway. I was filled with hope and promise, yet I understood that my life would never be easy. There would always be ups, downs, and setbacks. I just hoped I was prepared for them.

At least, I had no more feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness… for now.

My drugs were really kicking in, too. At first, it was hard to remember to take them at the same time every single day. I used my new phone to set an alarm every morning to do just that.

I had some side effects, like tremors and nausea, but it was getting better. My sex drive was still at an all-time low, but Aiden had been fucking patient as hell, helping me through the guilt of being unable to help him with his needs.

After he visited with his mother… his caregiver? What the fuck was she, anyway? Because she was neither of those things. We’d gotten home that day, and he looked so distraught. I knew he needed me for the sex, but I just hadn’t been able to give it to him. He never asked for it, but I noticed the tension he desperately tried to reel in. Still, I did the best I could, holding him for most of the night.

I blinked at the sunlight and smiled, seeing Aiden leaning against the brick building, smoking while waiting for me. His black bangs fell in his face, but the sunglasses blocked his pretty eyes. He looked sexy as fuck, wearing navy-blue-and-white pinstripe shirt sleeves, baggy black shorts with a chain on his belt loop and pocket, paired with black Chucks .

His head was looking up at the sky, absorbing the sun on his face as he took a drag. Aiden must have sensed my presence, because he looked right at me and smiled. He dropped his smoke to the ground and stepped on it.

“Well?” he asked.

“All done.”

I stepped into his open arms and held him tightly.

“I’m so proud of you, Precious,” he said.

“Thanks.”

I pulled away, grabbed his hand, and kissed his ringed fingers. He had a new tattoo on them, still red and irritated, but I loved it. There was an ‘A’ on his index finger, a ‘J’ on his middle finger, another ‘A’ on his ring finger, and an ‘X’ on his pinky.

I scolded him for getting my name on his hand, but he dismissed me, claiming he was never leaving me, anyway.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

“Good. Really good. Tomorrow may be different, but for now, I’m doing great.”

Aiden wrapped a hand around my neck and pulled me down for a kiss. “I love you,” he said when we came up for air.

“I love you, too.”

His fingers threaded with mine, and I looked at him, wanting to broach something we hadn’t really talked about yet but probably should .

“Baby… Would you like to see if you can get in to visit my therapist? To, you know, have someone to talk to?” I asked gently.

Instead of getting angry with me as I’d expected—because no matter how sweet he’d become, he could still get pissy—he smiled softly.

“Nah, you’re my therapy.”

“Aiden…”

“I’m being serious. As long as you’re in my life, I’m fucking good.”

“Baby, I’m not a cure-all. I’m barely hanging myself together as it is.”

“You’re wrong. All I need is you. That’s it. I’ll take a depressed Jaxon, a manic Jaxon, a sweet and tender Jaxon, or a Jaxon who’s so good at punishing me. I don’t care which one I have because I love all of them.”

“Well, I won’t push. If you change your mind, tell me. And I love all my Aiden’s, too. My feisty Aiden, my unusually sweet Aiden, my pissy Aiden, and even Blaze, if he’s still in there somewhere.”

His grin turned crooked as he tugged me toward my bike. “Come on, Precious. Let’s get to work.”

He hopped onto my bike, and I climbed on behind him. We put our helmets on before he took off toward Alpha’s since we had to work soon.

It was Friday night, and it was busy as hell at Alpha’s. There was a pretty well-known local rock band called Bastard Sedition. They’d played here several times before, and they were always a hit, filling up the bar with fans.

I kept my eyes on the crowd, making sure everyone behaved, that no fights broke out, and there were no dipshits trying to drug girls.

My eyes caught the movement of my black-haired spark plug waiting tables. Stix, Nacho, and Pippin took off from work tonight, so Aiden filled in for Nacho, and Alpha filled in for Pippin. It was odd to have three of us off on a Friday, our busiest night of the week, but I guess Alpha knew what he was doing.

He really needed more staff to run this place, which was why he worked such long hours. At least Aiden helped out now. He’d been terrible at waiting tables at first, breaking glasses frequently, but eventually, he got the hang of it. And because he worked six days a week, he made pretty good money, including tips.

I looked toward the front door, where Stone was checking IDs when Harley walked in. Stone scowled at him but let him in anyway because Alpha hadn’t said otherwise.

When Harley looked at me, I gave him the bird, making him laugh as he meandered toward the bar.

As soon as Alpha saw him, he started aggressively wiping down the counters with a rag, looking pissed at the world.

I had no idea what Harley had done to him, but it must have been bad. But why hadn’t Alpha just barred Harley from coming into the bar?

I mentally shrugged. It was Alpha’s business, not mine.

Other than Harley’s visit, the night was uneventful, and I was ready to go home with my guy.

I let Aiden drive again because he liked it so much, and I enjoyed holding onto him.

When we got to my apartment building, we parked, and he took my hand, yanking me up the stairs quickly.

“What’s the rush, baby?”

“What? Oh… Ah, gotta take a piss.”

Weird. Why did it sound like he was lying?

Aiden unlocked the door, and we walked inside, closing the door behind us. He rushed to the bathroom, so I guess he really did have to piss.

He stopped in the doorway and waved me to him. “Come here. What’s up with that?” He was pointing at something.

God, please don’t tell me my wall finally collapsed. I was so fucking screwed.

I stepped inside the bathroom with Aiden, blinking several times at the tub, trying to register what I was looking at.

“Wha-? Huh? Uhm… how?”

I walked over to the tub, stepped inside it, and pressed my hands to the cold white tile.

“Careful, the grout’s still probably wet.”

“Who… ”

Aiden’s smile was huge as he walked over to me. “I’m glad they got it wrapped up in time. Cueball, Stix, Nacho, and Pippin joined forces to fix your wall. Stix is especially good at it since he’s been fixing up his house with his mom and Stone.”

My eyes watered as I gently touched the wall again. “God… I have the best family in the world.”

Aiden stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around my front. “ We have the best family in the world.”

2 months later

I yawned and stretched in bed, and then the smile stretched as much as my body did at the sudden hard-on. I’d had periodic hard-ons in the morning, but then they would quickly die off. This one was lasting. Not only was I finally fucking horny, but like, I could go at it all day if I wanted to. I could feel my libido leaching into me.

I rolled over, pulled a sleeping Aiden against me, and gently thrust into his ass while cupping his cock through his underwear. I could tell he was waking up from the swelling under my palm.

“Wake up, sleepyhead,” I whispered in his ear.

He shifted and groaned before stretching. His dick was now hard as steel.

“Come on. I wanna play.”

Aiden yawned loudly. “Wha’ time’s it?” he mumbled.

“It’s time for sex.”

He snorted a sleepy laugh. “I could get down with that, but… I need to clean up, then.”

“Who cares?”

“I care.”

“So what if my dick gets a little dirty? We can take a shower afterward.”

“Gross,” he mumbled and yawned again.

I leaned over and nibbled his gauged ear. “Come on, baby… let’s be spontaneous. Who knows how long I can keep up this hard-on?”

I slipped my hand in his underwear from the back and fingered his hole .

“Pretty please? Let me in, Baby.”

“We’ve resorted to begging now?”

“Anything you want.”

He breathed a heavy sigh, thinking about it.

“Come on … it’s been like forever since we had sex.”

Aiden rolled over and draped his arm and leg over me while I slipped a hand under his T-shirt and tugged on one of his new nipple rings. “Fine, but don’t blame me if you pull out and find your dick dirty,” he said, uncaring about our funky breath, which I found ironic compared to his complaints.

“I love it when you talk all dirty.”

He rolled his eyes and tried to shove me away.

“Okay, okay… sorry,” I said, pulling him back to me. “Seriously, if it bothers you that much, go clean up and shower. I’m sure I’ll get hard again. But it’s not like we haven’t done it before without you cleaning up.”

Aiden smirked. “But that wasn’t overnight. I guess I should be jumping up and down now that we’re going to have sex again instead of whining like a little bitch.”

I kissed his nose. “I love my whiny little bitch.”

“Okay, you can have me, Precious.” He rolled over onto his stomach, but I rolled him back over.

“Nuh-uh.”

I climbed out of bed, grabbed the lube, and pulled him with me. “Stand and face that window. I want the world to see you getting fucked this morning.”

“You and your need to exhibit…”

He complained, but he didn’t hesitate to get naked, plant his hands on the windowpane, and bend down to expose his ass so I could work him open.

Most people out there were busy with their own lives, rushing to get to work or whatever their destination was. Plus, it was sunny, so the sun reflected on the window. Still, it was fun to imagine everyone seeing how gorgeous Aiden’s inked body was.

After oiling up our dicks, I shoved lubed fingers into his awaiting hole. I wanted him stretched, but I didn’t want to spend forever working him open. I was desperate to be inside him.

I pulled out my three fingers. “You ready for me? ”

“Yes… Get your cock inside me. It’s been too damn long.”

“This may sting,” I warned.

“Good. I want to still feel you inside me for a while.”

I spread his cheeks apart, bent my legs to lower myself, lined up my dick, and pressed the tip against him. Once it was nudged inside, Aiden just bore down and pushed back, swallowing me right fucking up.

“Fuck me… I’ve missed this, Baby.”

“God, me, too…” he breathed through the burn.

After a few unsatisfactory pumps into his ass, I pulled out, spun him around, and kissed the hell out of him as he clawed at my arms.

“Please tell me that’s not all we’re doing,” he complained.

“No way. We’re so far from being done.”

I lifted him and shoved his back against the wall. He wrapped his legs around my hips, getting the idea. With one hand, I held him, and with the other, I got my dick lined up and shoved back inside him.

Aiden threw his head back and groaned. “Fuck…”

I could do that now since I’d gotten back most of my strength and had gained weight.

“This is so much better,” I rasped in his throat, nipping it.

“Mark me,” he said, exposing his throat more.

I bit near his jugular, licked away the sting from his salty skin, then sucked hard, drawing the blood to the surface.

Aiden bounced on my dick as I met him with deep thrusts. Because it’d been a while, I wouldn’t last long, but if this libido kept up, we could do it again later.

“I’m not going to make it much longer,” I panted. “Stroke yourself. Come for me.”

He grabbed his dick and quickly pumped it as I continued to push in and out of him. I buried my face on the side of his neck, loving his sleepy and aroused smell.

Slaps, squelches, and groans filled the small apartment. Pressure, burning to come, and tingles spread across my body.

“I’m going to come,” he rasped.

“Hurry. ”

His body froze as we were hit with his white-hot cum, which quickly cooled. That did it for me as his ass squeezed like a vise.

Aiden hung on for the ride, gripping my hair.

That was all I needed to come, filling him finally. The orgasm was one of my stronger ones, and I couldn’t stop throbbing. But all great things must come to an end.

I stood there, still holding Aiden, trying to catch my breath as his hands fell away, resting on my shoulders.

“Goddamn, I really missed that.”

I lifted my head and reached for his lips. Our kiss was languid and soft, full of exploring tongues, uncaring that we hadn’t brushed our teeth yet. A kiss that said ‘ I love you ’ without having to say it out loud.

“Come on. Let’s take a shower,” I said, carrying him to the bathroom.

“And brush our teeth,” he quipped.

After we showered, we had some coffee and breakfast so I could take my meds, and then we curled up back in bed. We didn’t want to do anything responsible yet since we didn’t have to work until tonight, but I wanted to go out and do something later since it was warm and pretty out.

The TV was on, but the volume was off. Aiden’s head rested on my chest as my fingers played with his smooth, shirtless back. I could hold him like that forever.

I hadn’t officially asked Aiden to move in with me, but he hadn’t left my apartment since he forced himself into my life during my lowest point, and I was so fucking grateful for it. But I wanted to make it official now.

“Aiden, Baby?”

“Hmm,” he said sleepily, completely relaxed against me as I continued the soft touches on his back.

“Move in with me… like, permanently. I love having you here, and it’ll be even better with all your shit in my place.”

Aiden lifted his head and rested his chin on my chest. “You sure?”

“Definitely.”

“Can I think about it? I love being with you here all the time, but… I don’t want to leave Cueball hanging. He’s got that apartment all by himself now. Stone already moved out a while ago, and now me? I’ll have to see if he can afford it.”

Several months ago, Aiden… No, Blaze, wouldn’t have cared about anyone. Maybe he did, but he acted that way to keep everyone away. Still, he wouldn’t have been empathetic like that, at least not openly.

“Sure, talk to him. If you can’t, it’s no biggie. I know you’re not going anywhere.”

He smiled. “I want to. I’ll let you know, okay?”

“Sounds good.” I leaned forward and kissed his head. “One day, you and I will do some cam shows, make decent money, and get a bigger and nicer apartment.”

“Thank you,” he said.

I furrowed my brow. “For what?”

“For imagining a future with me. I never thought I’d find love or find someone who loved me back enough to want that. It’s… healing.”

“Fuck, babe. Anyone would be crazy not to care about you, and those who didn’t were nuts. They had no idea what they were missing in truly knowing you.”

Aiden smiled and snuggled tighter into me, leaving it at that—no disputing, arguing, or doubts. And that was perfect because I knew all was right in his world.