21. Chapter 21

After stepping off the bus, I headed toward Ajax’s apartment and stopped. I found his bike lying in the middle of the sidewalk, like he’d gotten home and just dropped it.

“Well, he found his bike,” I mumbled to myself.

I stepped up to it and took a closer look. The bike actually seemed fine except for some scratches on the paint. I lifted it up with some effort, but I managed to walk it toward the building and leaned it against the bricks. Hopefully, no one would steal the damn thing.

After dusting off my hands, I headed inside the building and rushed up the stairs as the apprehension filled me. Ajax still hadn’t answered his phone. Sure, he could’ve forgotten to charge it, but I didn’t think so. He was so off last night, beyond his drinking.

When I reached his apartment, I found his door slightly ajar. My gut twisted, worried something had happened to him.

I eased the door open and looked around. “Ajax?”

His studio apartment appeared neat—very neat. Everything was in its place and orderly, and the place smelled of lemony cleanser. Ajax tended to be clean, but not so much that you could bounce a quarter off the made bed. The place had changed, too, with lots of new decorations, from throw pillows, rugs, and pictures on the walls, which had previously been bare. The tiny table in the kitchen had two placemats and a flower arrangement.

He even had two brand new lamps sitting on top of new nightstands flanking either side of his bed.

What the hell?

Did he have that kind of money? Ajax worked two jobs, but I doubted it would make him rich. Not that I knew what he got paid, but I couldn’t imagine a mom-and-pop hardware store paid all that much. Alpha’s Rejects was always hopping, so I guess the tips could’ve been good if he split them with everyone else.

His place had previously been pretty barren and devoid of a lot of personal items, but now he made it homey and comfortable. What did that mean? It was like he was… nesting.

My eyes pinged on a picture on the table next to the bed. I lifted the frame and looked at the image of Ajax and me. I was sleeping with my head on his shoulder, and he was grinning into the camera. The picture was… sweet and so unlike us. Looking around again, all seemed to be in order. The most important thing was that there didn’t seem to be any signs of a struggle or that he’d been robbed.

A loud bang made me jump. My heart raced as I drew my attention to the bathroom, with light peeking through the cracked-open door. I walked forward and pushed the door open to find Ajax shirtless, wearing shorts, and holding a sledgehammer over his head before he slammed it over the tiled wall.

“Oh, fuck,” I said, wondering what the hell was going on, but I was relieved to see he was okay.

Ajax spun around, wide-eyed, and dropped the large hammer with a loud clang. Then he smiled brightly, as if I had brought the sunshine inside with me.

“Baby!”

He lunged at me, lifted me off my feet, and spun me around the small space. When he sent me down, he gave me a sweaty kiss.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he said, making my hammering heart beat even harder. “Have I told you I loved you?”

Too many times already , I thought.

I ignored him and looked at his head, lifting his damp hair away to check his wound. “Are you okay?”

“Never fucking better.”

I glanced over at the bathtub, seeing the tile on the wall now smashed in pieces on the floor. “What are you doing? Are you allowed to do that? I’m assuming you want to replace the tile?”

He scratched his head. “I don’t know… It’s just that I hate this fucking tile, which I can never get it clean enough, and it’s ugly. I found some better stuff over at the hardware store where I work that I really like, and it could really spice up the place. Modernize it, you know? And it’d be fucking clean. I need it to be clean. After that, I’m going to patch up the walls, maybe put a fresh coat of paint on them. I get sick of counting the cracks at night, not letting me sleep. Hey! We can pick out paint colors!”

He suddenly grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the bathroom. I stumbled and crashed into him when he abruptly stopped. “What color do you think I should get? Green? I really like green. What’s your favorite color?”

“Uh…”

“But charcoal gray would be super cool, and it would go well with the walnut color of those new nightstands. Do you like the nightstands? I just bought them. Oh! And those lamps I found at a vintage store. Cool, right? They’re totally retro. It’s about time I spruced up this place. I’ve lived here long enough.”

I shook my head at his rambling. Ajax always had this vibrant energy about him, even when he was pissed at me, but this was beyond what I understood about him. It was like he’d taken a bunch of drugs or something. I still wasn’t sure he’d taken any last night, but he could’ve. If so, did he take more?

“Ajax? Where is all this coming from? ”

I reached for his face again, looking a little wild and a lot exhausted. He still had dark circles under his eyes, but they were more pronounced, and his cheeks were starting to sink a bit.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean—”

“Oh, how does homemade spaghetti sound? I make a mean sauce, and I add lots of red peppers to make it extra spicy.” He grabbed me again and punched his hips at me. “It’s spicy like you, my little enchilada.”

I snorted a laugh. “You did not just say that.”

“My little jalape?o.”

I rolled my eyes.

“I know! My little tomatillo.”

“You’re crazy!” I laughed.

He suddenly lifted me and kissed me. “Need you.”

“Again?”

“Forever and ever. All the time. Every day.”

“I don’t know if my ass can take it, Precious. I’m still sore from last night.”

“I’ll kiss it and make it all better.”

“It’s hard to say no to you.”

“Yes!”

Ajax tossed me onto his neat bed, wrecking it as he wrecked me once again.

I squirmed as I slept from my aching ass, from being fucked to being spanked again. Suddenly, I bolted upright, wincing at the banging coming from the bathroom.

Was Ajax going at the tile again? At this hour? What time was it, anyway?

I glanced at the clock, which read it was after midnight. The neighbors were going to be pissed.

And right on cue, someone below hammered their ceiling to shut him up.

What had gotten into Ajax? Where had all this wild energy come from? This level of energy was beyond, even for him .

I fell back into bed, suddenly remembering what today was. The realization hit me as hard as Ajax hit that wall. No matter how hard I tried, it was impossible to forget the day you were born. I snagged my phone and scrolled through it, hoping… wishing. It was fucking stupid since five years had passed, but still, there was always this lingering hope she would reach out to me on my birthday, of all days—to remember that she gave birth to me.

I quit celebrating it, not really caring anymore. Why should I when no one else did?

With a sigh, I climbed out of bed and pulled on my underwear as a plan formulated in my head—a plan for me to help with my growing apprehension, being newly twenty-five years old, and to help Ajax blow off whatever steam he had. Clearly, sex wasn’t enough, and he desperately needed his sleep. The noise also needed to stop before someone called the cops or, worse, the landlord.

I stood in the bathroom doorway and watched him hammer his energy into the tiled wall. It was a disaster. Bits of porcelain and debris were everywhere.

As soon as he paused, I called to him.

“Let’s get out of here, Precious,” I said. “Does that bike of yours still run?”

Ajax dropped the sledgehammer and turned to face me with a huge smile on his sweaty face, making my heart skip a beat, recalling all the times he’d recently told me he loved me. I pushed aside the growing emotions, shoving them deep in my mind and locking them away.

“What’s the plan?” he asked.

“It’s a surprise.”

“Fuck, yeah! I love surprises.”

“Then let’s get dressed and head out. I’m driving.”

I still didn’t have a license, and I hadn’t ridden a bike or driven a car in five years, but I could remember, right?

We tossed on our clothes, grabbed the two helmets, and headed out. The bike was waiting where I’d left it. I stood it upright and hopped on, starting the engine with his keys. Ajax dropped the helmet on my head, then put his on, and he got on behind me as he rambled about what he wanted to do with his bathroom.

I tuned him out and drove off, instantly getting lost in the engine, purring through my body. Fuck, it’d been so long since I’d driven. I missed it. It was freeing, feeling the road under the wheels and the rumbling of the engine straight to my nuts.

I drove us through the quiet streets of the city, everyone asleep but us. I was tired as hell, and my ass ached something fierce, but I pushed it aside.

It was my birthday, and for the first time in years, I was going to celebrate it.

Soon, the city gave way to the suburbs. The house was in a wealthy neighborhood, sitting on a few acre plots. I pulled up to the house, sitting like a monster. It was ugly as fuck. Truly. Maybe it would’ve been better suited in Tuscany, but here, where most of the homes were Tudors and Colonials, it was a sore thumb.

When I turned off the engine, we climbed off the bike.

“Where are we?”

“Whose house is this?”

“What are we doing here?”

“How are we going to get in?”

“What’s the plan, baby?”

“Who lives here?”

“Are they friends of yours?”

Weird that his incessant questions didn’t annoy me. Two months ago, I would’ve wanted to punch him. Now, it was nearly adorable. I didn’t do fucking adorable.

“To answer your gazillion questions, this is where I grew up. I’m ready to do some fucking up around here. How about you? Ready to destroy some things?”

He grinned deviously. “I should’ve brought my sledgehammer.”

I snorted a laugh, looking over at him, trying desperately to squash those growing feelings, but failing miserably.

“Good point. I bet we can find some goodies in the garden shed where the landscaper keeps his shit.”

As we headed around to the back of the house, I said, “Put your helmet back on. Mom has cameras around, but security was never tight. Still, we don’t want to get recognized.”

I lit a smoke and walked toward the large shed as Ajax followed me, bouncing all over the fucking place .

After a few kicks, we had the wooden door open. We walked in, and I grabbed a hammer, while Ajax grabbed a shovel.

“Did you know it’s my birthday today?” I asked.

“It is? Wow! Happy birthday, baby. I need to get you a present. Maybe we should fuck again.”

I rolled my eyes to the heavens I didn’t believe in.

“This is my present… to myself. Even when I lived here, Mom didn’t give two fucks about my birthday. She usually took a vacation with her girls for a week. No doubt, she’s gone now, trying to forget she gave birth to me.”

“What a fucking bitch! What is it we’re doing exactly?”

I gently hammered the palm of my hand. “We’re going to mess shit up, Precious. My mom keeps forgetting I exist. So, fuck her. And fuck my birthday.”

“Fuck birthdays!” he yelled back, making me laugh.

I yanked Ajax to me, wishing I could see his face, and nodded. “Yep, fuck birthdays.”

We walked toward the house through lush landscaping full of trees, which would hide us despite the well-lit place. Besides, the homes were spread far apart.

“Take that shovel and tear up all the flowers in the front,” I said. It wasn’t very destructive since flowers could easily be replaced, but it would keep him busy and distracted.

Ajax whooped and started bashing the plants, while I took the hammer and knocked out the lights that I could reach. Then I headed toward the door leading into the garage from the side of the house. Now for the big test. Did she change the code to get inside the garage? As long as I’d lived here, she never changed it.

I opened the panel on the wall and typed in Mom’s birth year. The garage door quietly slid open. Once I slipped inside, I headed toward the security panel and typed in the same code. A beep went off, and the flashing red light switched to green.

“Idiot,” I mumbled.

Before I did anything, I wanted to grab my ID and birth certificate, if I could find them, but the door was locked. There was no way inside unless I had a key, and the door was too sturdy to kick in .

With a sigh, I turned to face inside the garage. There, sitting all pretty, was my Ford Mustang Shelby , the car I got as a replacement after I trashed my last one. Next to it was my Ducati , untouched after all these years, along with Mom’s Bentley . Why were they still here?

With a sudden rage, I screamed out and slammed the hammer into the windshield of her car before smashing it into the hood. All my frustrations and hatred for her grew the more I destroyed instead of making me feel better.

Years of being ignored and treated more like a cat threading around her ankles, seeking attention rather than a human being and her child. Desperate for love and affection, my stepfather seized on it and used me for his own perverted needs. I still struggled to regret what we did, but I hated him for using me and then abandoning me.

“Fuck you, Mom .”

“Fuck you, Howard .”

“Fuck this house.”

“Fuck this life.”

“And fuck this birthday!”

Ajax suddenly burst in and repeatedly yelled ‘ fuck’ as he bashed in my old car with the shovel, making me cackle in pleasure, making me forget my pain and anger, even for a second.

And that right there suddenly made me realize he was my one person. I would do fucking anything for him. Was it love? Probably. Was I afraid? I was terrified .

After superficially destroying the cars since Mom could fix them up easily enough, I stared at the wrecked cars. I wanted to do so much more, but we needed to get out of there. This was more about blowing off steam and anger than destruction.

“We gotta go,” I said to him.

I wish it had been more of a catharsis, but it did open my heart up more for Ajax. I wasn’t sure why the destruction helped, but maybe it was because he came with me and destroyed with me without asking too many questions or even stopping me. Who cared that he wasn’t himself? It made him happy, and he…

Nope. I still refused to go there.

Suddenly, I was on my back, dazed, and unable to breathe. When I came to a second later, I found Ajax on top of me, smiling like crazy.

“We need to fuck on your car before we go.”

“We need to go before we’re arrested.”

“Whatever. Then we can fuck each other in jail.”

I snorted a laugh. “You’re fucking nuts, you know that, right?”

“I’m your nut.”

In seconds, our helmets were ripped off, and I was flipped onto my stomach and shoved onto the hood of my car as Ajax ripped my T-shirt off and worked my pants and underwear down.

Unless things changed, there were no cameras in the garage, so I didn’t worry about being seen.

Jesus, I wasn’t sure I could take another pounding, but I did it for him. If he needed me, he could have me.

While his spit-covered dick slid in effortlessly since I was still stretched, it burned like a motherfucker. My ass was raw as hell. I clawed at the hood of the car and let Ajax have his way with me.

“Fuck yeah… I love your fucking hole. My hole,” he grunted. “This hole belongs to me to do with what I wish.”

“Yes, it’s yours. Always yours,” I said.

Ajax fell on top of my back, thrusting, and bit the fuck out of my shoulder. I grunted and winced at the pain. He did it again on my other shoulder. After several more bites, he licked away the sting before biting me again. I had to have been bleeding. It hurt that much, but I let him do it.

Thrust. Bite. Thrust. Bite.

My body was going to be fucking bruised and in pain for a while, but it belonged to Ajax now. He owned all of me, inside and out.