12. Chapter 12

After he was naked, I stood in front of Ajax, and he gripped my dick, but not playfully or arousingly. It was forceful to control me.

“First, we need to put the cocksling on. I want your dick begging and leaking for release by the end of this,” he said.

He picked up the sling from his bed and pulled it over my length; it was snug, like a cock ring. Then he rested my nuts in the pocket of the sling, which was more comfortable than a ball stretcher. It held everything in tightly, but it didn’t hurt.

“How does that feel?”

“Good, sir.”

“I gotta admit, it looks sexy as fuck,” he said in a low growl.

Ajax looked at me again and gently tugged on my cock. “This is sexy, too.”

He turned me around by my hips so my back was to him. “Put your hands behind you.”

I did as I was told, my entire body thrumming, feeling nearly whole again, almost at peace.

He grabbed my wrists and started binding me with the satin ropes. I always preferred those because they didn’t chafe my skin, but my Dom liked it when my wrists had rope burn, so he never went easy on me.

When he finished tying me up, he asked, “How does that feel?”

I tugged on my wrists, unable to pry them apart at all. My stomach rolled in excitement, and the sensation went straight to my nuts being hugged tightly.

“Really good, sir.”

“What color, Aiden?”

“Green, sir.”

Ajax turned me around and stood, towering over me. He placed his hand on my head and pushed me down easily onto my knees.

“Choke on me. If you’re really good at it, I’ll reward you by letting you come. I want to see watering eyes, Aiden.”

I opened my mouth wide and stuck out my tongue without taking my eyes off him.

He held his cock and eased it into my mouth. I took a deep breath of him through my nose as he shoved it deeper and deeper. I loved the scent of a man near his dick and balls—the musk, the earthy scent, along with something that was always their own. Each man had a distinct smell, not that I’d been around a lot of them.

His pubes tickled my nose, and my eyes watered from gagging.

“That’s it. Show me those tears,” he rasped.

I never practiced controlling my gag reflex because I enjoyed how it pleased my Dom. He loved my watering eyes and spit falling down my face for him. I hope Ajax did, too. He seemed to like it.

Ajax gently carded his fingers through my hair. “Fuck me, you were made for this, Kitten.”

I wasn’t made for it, but I was certainly shaped for it. Regardless, I ate up his praise .

“How had I not realized how soulful your eyes could be? So large, with thick lashes.”

Ajax pulled away and eased back into my mouth, pushing me to test my boundaries. My eyes remained glued to his to show my unwavering desire to be so good for him.

“You’re beautiful like this, Aiden, with your mouth stretched, tears spilling down your face, just for me.”

I wanted to shut my eyes and cry at his words—words I desperately needed to hear. Words that I hadn’t heard in years.

I coughed around his length from the gag, breathing through it, but he pulled all the way out.

“Color.”

“Green.”

Ajax nodded and pried my mouth open, shoving his cock into my mouth harder. His movements picked up, and the sounds of gagging, gurgling, and slurping filled the small apartment.

His eyes rolled into his head for a second before he looked at me again. “Jesus, the noises… You’re doing perfectly, Kitten.”

My throat hurt, my ass stung like shit from being completely owned—I was in fucking heaven. As much as I hated to admit it, I was right in choosing Ajax for this.

“Yes, god… I’m going to come soon. What an amazing mouth you’ve got, Aiden.”

I liked him saying my name. No one had called me that in so long, except for Cueball a couple of times.

Ajax suddenly groaned, pulled out of my mouth, grabbed his dick, and shot his load onto my tongue and all over my face.

“Fuck, fuck…. Fuck!”

He dropped his cock and placed his hands on either side of my face, forcing me to keep looking at him. “You look stunning painted in my cum.”

Ajax lifted me by my head to stand, leaned down, and licked the side of my face. “It tastes good on you, too,” he growled, sending shivers up my spine.

I desperately needed to come, but I was good at holding it back. I had years of practice .

“Thank you, sir.”

Ajax fisted my hair and yanked my head back. I swallowed hard, the back of my throat aching from the pounding I’d received. “Jesus, why do I like that so much? I didn’t think I would. I wasn’t sure this was for me, but fuck… Do you want to be kissed, Aiden? Do you think you deserve it yet?”

“That is up to you to decide, sir.”

He slammed his lips to mine, still covered in his cum, and shoved his tongue into my mouth. My body was practically bent backward, completely helpless, as he covered me with his strong body.

The kiss told me I’d done a good job. That I was a good boy, and I had pleased him.

Suddenly, I was tossed onto my back on the bed, and my knees were shoved against my chest.

“Let’s keep rewarding my kitten. I think he deserves it.”

My kitten? It sounded like he was claiming me as his, but that was impossible. Maybe Ajax hated me a little less, but he still didn’t like me. Did I want him to? I wasn’t sure yet.

When Ajax ran his tongue over my needy hole, I cried out. He still hadn’t touched my dick, but I’d take rimming any day. The slurping noises made me leak like hell. My stomach and dick were wet with pre-cum. He didn’t hold back sucking, licking, and nipping. When I loosened, he eased his tongue inside as much as he could.

He pushed my legs so far back that he practically bent me in half as he continued to consume my ass.

“What a sinfully tasty hole you have, Aiden.”

I whimpered as my body sunk into his mattress, so relaxed, especially when he ran his tongue over the wounded flesh on my ass cheeks.

God, I was so needy for relief, but I kept myself under control, holding back, knowing Ajax wouldn’t leave me hanging forever. Or at least, I hoped.

When he pulled away, he eased my legs back down on the bed and ghosted my dick with his breath as he looked at me. It bounced as if trying to reach for his mouth.

“Do you need relief, Kitten?”

“Please, sir.” My voice came out desperate and breathy .

Ajax gently pulled off the cocksling, ran his tongue along my length, and curled it around the head before swallowing me whole. I strangely needed to touch him, to run my fingers through his soft, thick hair, but I was still bound. Not that I would do it without permission.

Once he removed the sling, all the blood rushed to my dick, making the pressure unreal . It wouldn’t take much to blow.

My skin was flushed, burning for release as my spine tingled. Ajax wasted no time on me, letting me come quickly, bobbing his head, sucking in his cheeks, and using his tongue on the sensitive points.

I thrust into his mouth on instinct, so he pushed me down by my hips. Thank god he didn’t stop to punish me. I didn’t think I could take that. I was too fucking close.

I thrust again when I suddenly climaxed. My back arched, needing more, but it grew to be too much. I wanted it to linger. I wanted it to end.

Then Ajax popped off, wiping his mouth with his hand.

I was suddenly so tired and… emotional. It’d been so long since I got to let go like that. I was at home, at peace, and a fucking wreck. It made no sense, but I had no control over the warring emotions. I was helpless against them.

Ajax eased me over onto my stomach, untied me, and reached for some salve sitting on his nightstand. Soon, gentle hands worked the cream into my ass cheeks, easing the sting.

“Stay put,” he said, leaving the bed to go into his bathroom.

After he ran the water and shut it off, he returned and rolled me over to clean my face of residual cum. His eyes were focused and intent, trying so hard to take care of me. I wasn’t used to it. I needed the care, but it was confusing to have Ajax do it, someone who loathed me.

When he finished, he tossed the rag onto the floor, then took one of my wrists and massaged it, then the other.

“You were so good, Aiden. Perfect,” he whispered soothingly.

That was my catalyst. His words sent me over the emotional edge. I pulled out of his grasp, rolled over onto my side, grabbed his pillow, and cried into it.

It was so fucking humiliating. God, and I was so confused about Ajax, and always crying around him.

When he pressed a hand to my shoulder, I shrugged him off .

“Aiden…”

“Blaze,” he tried again.

He sighed, and just when I thought he’d toss me out of his place for being such a loser, he laid down next to me, spooning me from behind, but he didn’t reach for me. He simply gave me his protective body while giving me space.

Without thinking too hard about it, because I needed it, I reached behind me and grabbed his arm to hold.

God, I was so tired.

He held me for a bit until I calmed down. But then he had to fucking ruin it by talking. “Why are you crying, Blaze? This was supposed to be pleasurable, not upsetting,” he whispered, his breath on my neck.

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.”

I growled at him and tried to get up, but he wouldn’t let me. “Let me go.”

“No. Talk to me.”

“I can’t. You won’t understand. Besides, giving you all my control was hard enough as it was. I don’t need to lose more of it right now. You said to forget about the ‘ whys .’”

Ajax removed his arm without a word, letting me sit up. I set my feet on the cold floor with my back to him, wiping my face as if I could erase my shame.

“Did I do a shitty job again?” he asked.

My body deflated, and I shook my head. “No. You were… great. Thank you.”

I stood, gathered my clothes, and brought everything into the bathroom for some desperate privacy. After taking a piss, I got dressed and washed my hands and face.

I rested my hands on the counter and stared at myself in the water-stained mirror, always hating what looked back at me—always hating my fucking face. No amount of piercings and tattoos changed that.

I wondered if I’d ever like myself. The only time I had was when my Dom owned me. I’d been almost happy. But that had all been a lie. Could I find it in Ajax? I didn’t know. And I didn’t know if I wanted to find that with him.

When I came out of the bathroom, Ajax stood there, now fully dressed in a plain white T and jeans, staring at me with concern. I liked his disdain better. It was easier than this… fucking pity.

Even worse? I didn’t hate him anymore. He gave me all that I needed and more, and without a lot of questions. I could trust him to continue this. Maybe.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

No . But I didn’t tell him that.

“I will be,” I lied.

He said nothing, staring at me, trying to peer into my fucking soul, but he was no Cueball. Finally, he nodded, rubbing his neck. “Okay. Well, uhm… you don’t have to go.”

“I do, though.”

He nodded. “See ya, Blaze.”

“See ya. I’ll text you to see if you want to… hook up again.”

Fuck, what we did was no hookup.

“Sure.”

I turned the knob to his door and pulled it open. Before I walked out, I craned my head to look back at him. “Thanks for this,” I whispered as the last shreds of my dignity disintegrated into dust.

“Anytime.”