Chapter 30

30

“ S o, you actually saw what was happening?” Elias’ voice was hushed with fascinated awe as he leaned forward to speak to Remy. He had literally been on the edge of his seat since Gabe ushered him into the cabin and Remy explained what had happened.

Thankfully he kept it on the vague side. The last thing I could handle right now was everyone knowing the details of that memory.

Remy’s hand was curled around mine in a death-grip. He hadn’t let me go since we sat on the couch together. Like holding onto me was the only thing keeping him from getting up and hunting Preston down.

His gaze flickered to me for a moment before looking back at Elias. He gave a slow nod.

“It was like it was my own memory,” Remy admitted.

Elias turned to look at me. “And have you been able to see Remy’s thoughts?”

I frowned, shaking my head. “No, but we haven’t shifted around each other in a few weeks.”

“Have you ever heard of this happening before?” Gabe asked. He had been leaning against the wall since Elias came in, hovering in the background to give us space.

Elias sighed and leaned back. “No, but then again, Remy and Skye are much younger than most bonded mates. The progression of their bond doesn’t seem to conform to what we’ve identified as normal behaviors.”

I barely contained a snort. I was more than a little over being told how not normal our bonding was.

But there was something a little more pressing I needed an answer to.

“Do you think this will keep happening?” I asked quietly, unable to look at Remy. “Remy will be able to relive my memories?”

I had barely been able to look at him since I realized he had seen inside my head.

He had seen and felt what I experienced.

It was one thing for me to tell him about something that happened, but the idea of him experiencing my humiliation and fear in first person, high definition? That was fucking terrifying.

Elias frowned. “Maybe? It’s likely a new manifestation of your bond, which has defied most of what we knew to be true of bonded mates.”

I couldn’t swallow around the sudden lump in my throat, my mouth went desert dry.

“You could both try shifting again and see if you can project something the other can see,” he suggested. His dark eyes sparked to life as he leaned forward. “I would be fascinated to observe the two of you. Maybe we could all learn something.”

Anxiety clawed at my insides. Remy squeezed my hands, but they were practically numb and filled with ice.

“I don’t think now is a good time,” Gabe said diplomatically for the both of us, pushing off the wall. His eyes were on me as he spoke to Elias.

“Of course,” Elias said quickly, flashing us a smile. “I should probably get going.”

He got to his feet, and I moved to stand as well, but Remy’s iron-clad grip wasn’t letting up.

“Skye, Remy,” Elias said, dipping his head. “Don’t hesitate to reach out if I can be of any further assistance.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Gabe said, his gaze solemn as he opened the door for Elias and stepped outside with him.

I stared at the door after it had closed, my insides a tumultuous mess of nerves and fear.

“You’re shaking,” Remy murmured beside me.

Was I?

I scrambled for an excuse. “It’s kind of cold, and I’m tired—”

“So, when you get cold and tired you can’t look at me, too?” he asked quietly.

With a dry swallow, I turned my head, barely meeting his gaze.

His eyes narrowed as he sighed. “Are you mad?”

“No,” I answered quickly, forcing myself not to let my gaze skitter away.

It wasn’t a lie; I wasn’t angry. More like humiliated, frustrated, and slightly annoyed.

“But you’re upset,” he guessed.

I exhaled hard. “It’s just—”

I stopped myself when Gabe opened the door and came back in. He paused by the door, looking at us.

“Are we okay here?” he asked softly, but I had a feeling he was talking to me.

“Yeah.”

Gabe nodded, his gaze sliding to Remy. “Skye, can you give us a minute? I need to talk to Remy.”

“Sure,” I said, starting to stand.

Remy’s hand tightened around mine, anchoring me to his side once more. “Skye can stay. Anything you need to say to me, she can hear.”

“Fine,” Gabe said tersely, sitting down across from us. “We need to talk about today.”

“I know,” Remy replied. “Dad, I’m sorry—”

Gabe held up a hand. “Am I missing the part where you want to be Alpha of the pack now?”

Remy stayed quiet.

Gabe leaned forward, his forearms resting on his knees. “You pull a stunt like you did today again, and son or not, I’ll consider it a formal challenge.”

“Okay,” Remy replied with a sharp nod, his dark eyes full of an unnamed emotion.

Gabe grimaced. “I mean it, Rem. I know that you were reacting to the situation, but you need to get your wolf in check. You all but openly challenged me in front of the others.”

“He didn’t mean it like that.” I jumped in when Remy didn’t speak for himself and the need to diffuse the situation got too intense. “He was upset because of my memory and... what he saw.”

Gabe’s eyes cut to me. “I get that, Skye, and I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing if someone hurt Mallory. But I’m the Alpha of Blackwater, and I won’t be disobeyed, no matter what the reason or who the person is.”

He leveled a hard look at Remy. “You were lucky it was only our friends with us today. Something like that happens in front of the Council or our enemies? You damn well better be ready to fight me for the pack.”

The gravity of the situation crashed around me, leaving me more shaken than before.

“He wasn’t...” I trailed off, looking helplessly at Remy. “Tell him you didn’t mean it.”

“I understand,” Remy replied instead, his expression unreadable as he kept his eyes locked steadily on Gabe’s.

With a deep sigh, Gabe rubbed his temples. “Okay. I’m guessing you two aren’t hungry?”

“No,” I mumbled as Remy shook his head.

Gabe stood up. “I’m going back to the lodge to meet Nero and Luke for dinner.” He looked down at us, a frown creasing his handsome face. “Do I need to remind you what an epically bad idea it would be to go after anyone from Long Mesa?”

Remy’s jaw clenched. “I know.”

Gabe crossed the room, but hesitated by the door. He turned back, his eyes kind. “I love you, son.”

“I know,” Remy repeated, his tone softer. “I love you, too, Dad.”

“That goes for you, too,” Gabe told me. “You’re one of us. I know whatever Remy saw was awful, kiddo, but that’s over. You’re one of us now. We protect our own.”

That thawed some of the ice that had settled in my veins earlier. I managed what I hoped was a grateful smile as he left.

After several beats, I tried pulling away from Remy. I was almost surprised when he let my fingers slip through his.

I scrambled to my feet. “It’s late.”

It was barely after seven.

I started towards the stairs. “I’m exhausted.”

My mind wouldn’t stop working, my blood fizzing and popping with nervous energy. Sleep wasn’t happening any time soon.

My hand touched the banister. “I’m going to get ready for bed.”

I was going to lock myself in the bathroom, take an ungodly long shower, and pray that, by some miracle, Remy was asleep when I came out.

Would it be obvious I was avoiding him if I slept in the second bedroom tonight?

“Good plan,” Remy agreed, getting up. He arched his eyebrows at me. “Let’s go.”

So much for that idea.

I leaned against the railing. “Remy—”

“Tell you what,” he said, cutting me off, “I’ll give you a choice. We can talk about this down here or upstairs. Either way? We’re talking about what happened.”

I nudged my toe against the first step. “Any chance we could not talk about this and forget it happened?”

I was stalling. It was stupid and pointless, but it was all I could focus on because talking about this was the last thing I wanted. What I wanted was to hide under the covers until the next morning.

Or next year.

The odds of Remy letting that happen were nonexistent. I loved my mate in every way, but sometimes I wished he wasn’t such an alpha.

“Fine,” I muttered, turning and heading up the stairs like it was a slow death march.

And for my pride, it kind of was.

I headed into our room when I got upstairs, Remy right behind me. I turned when he closed the door, not sure if I wanted to talk first or if I wanted him to start.

He brushed past me, sitting on the bed before swinging his long legs up onto the mattress and leaning against the headboard.

“Come here,” he said softly, holding out a hand.

I shuffled forward a step, letting my fingers glide over his as I paused by the side of the bed.

“Remy—” I broke off with a squeak when he grabbed my hips and lifted me up, settling me on his lap so I was straddling him.

“That’s better,” he murmured, a small smile tugging at his lips as his eyes met mine. He brushed the hair out of my eyes. “No more running, remember?”

Closing my eyes, I nodded. That was the deal, wasn’t it?

I guess that included emotional running.

His hand slid up my thigh. “Can you tell me what you’re thinking? What you’re feeling?”

I met his gaze for a second before looking away. “Okay, I feel... embarrassed.”

He frowned, his eyes narrowing at me. “Why would you feel embarrassed?”

“Because,” I said stubbornly, “that was one of the more humiliating moments in my life. Having you see that, or experience that? It sucked.”

“Baby, you didn’t do anything wrong, okay?” He framed my face with his hands. “You have nothing to be ashamed about.”

“I was weak,” I argued, lowering my lashes.

“You were young and vulnerable,” he countered bitterly, his hands falling back to my legs, “and they preyed on that.”

“It wasn’t the only time something like that happened,” I confessed, the truth whispering out of me. “Pack runs were the worst because I could never shift. That memory was just one time when Preston was being extra douchey. I was always the last one. People always stared at me. It made me feel so gross.”

His face looked calm enough, but I could feel the barely contained rage thrumming in his blood as he tensed and loosened his muscles under me.

I shuddered. “Even right now I just want to take a shower. And I hate that you saw that.”

“I hate that you lived that,” he answered fiercely, his eyes burning hot.

I traced the back of his hand on my thigh. “But that’s not my life now. Now I have our pack, our family. I have to focus on that.”

“I was so angry,” he replied, his voice tight. “I’m still so fucking angry. I want to kill him, all of them.”

“I know, and I love you for being angry for me, but if something like that happens again,” I cleared my throat, “you can’t go after Preston or Linden.”

Jaw clenched, he looked away from me.

“Promise me,” I begged, not wanting to see him and Gabe fight again.

He turned, his molten gaze pinning me to the spot. “I can’t.”

Disbelief washed over me. “Are you serious right now? Rem, you heard what your dad said. What you did earlier could have had a lot of really bad consequences.”

“What do you want me to do, Skye? Apologize for wanting to protect you?” He glared at me. “I’m not that guy. I’ll never be that guy . Cassian hurt you, and I couldn’t stop that. Preston hurt you, and if I can do something about that, I will.”

“I don’t blame you for what happened with Cassian,” I said softly. It killed me that he would blame himself for any of the chaos and pain Cassian caused.

“I blame myself!” He shot back, eyes flashing. He raked a hand through his dark hair. “I was right there.”

I settled my hands on the hard planes of his chest as it heaved beneath me. “I made the decision to go over that cliff with Cassian.” I held his eyes. “Because I didn’t want you paying the price for me.”

“It’s not your job to protect me,” he muttered, but a corner of his mouth hooked up. “I’m the alpha, right? Pretty sure protecting you comes with the job description.”

I arched a brow and linked my hands behind his neck. “I’m the alpha’s mate. Pretty sure that makes it my job to protect you.”

His gaze dropped to my lips. “It does, huh?”

“Yeah.” I tilted my head to the side, a genuine smile dusting across my lips.

“Okay.” He was fighting a smile as he leaned forward and kissed me.