Chapter 6

6

“ O kay, what the hell is going on?” Katy demanded, finally cornering me at my locker before the start of lunch.

I shoved my heavy pre-calculus text into the locker before shutting it and turning around to face her, Larkin, and Tate.

“Are you okay?” Larkin asked, reaching out to touch my arm.

Katy’s eyes narrowed. “You’ve been like this since this morning. What gives?”

I leaned back against the bank of lockers, not exactly wanting to rehash why I had barely spoken all morning. Why I couldn’t look Remy in the eye, and why I turned and started a conversation with Ainsley, intentionally walking us to the main building while Remy was supposed to go the opposite direction for a meeting.

Tate clutched her books to her chest, her hazel eyes studying me with too much intensity. “Did you and Remy have a fight?”

Katy snorted, but smiled. “What did my idiot big brother do now?”

Sighing, I looked around, grateful the guarding didn’t extend to inside the school building during classes. Since it was lunchtime, the hallway was basically empty except for the four of us.

My stomach sank when I realized Remy would be waiting for me at the end of classes to walk me back to the cabin, and I was going to have to talk to him.

Or, worse yet, maybe he would send someone else to walk with me.

A babysitter for his damaged mate.

“Hey!” Katy said sharply, snapping her fingers in my face. “Skye, where’d you go?” Her brown eyes were wide with worry, and I realized I had completely spaced out.

Suddenly exhausted, my chin dropped to my chest. I couldn’t bear to see the looks of pity when I told them what had happened.

“Remy didn’t do anything,” I answered softly. “It’s me. I’m the one who messed up.”

“It can’t be that bad,” Larkin told me, moving to my side and nudging my shoulder with hers.

Scoffing under my breath, I shook my head. “It was. I had some kind of flashback to when I was living in Long Mesa, and lost it. Like, I turned into a total basket case.”

“What caused the flashback?” Tate asked curiously.

I glanced up at Katy, who made a face, but held her hands up in surrender.

“I’ll make an exception to the I-don’t-want-to-know-what-you-and-my-brother-do rule,” she quipped, a half smile deepening the dimples on her cheeks. “What happened?”

“We were... messing around,” I stumbled over the words, feeling my cheeks heat. “It was good. It was really good. And then, he was on top of me and kind of had me pinned down.” I shivered at the memory, and not from fear.

I loved the way it felt when Remy surrounded me, when he infiltrated every single one of my senses until my entire world became just him.

“Okay,” Katy said slowly, nodding her head. “So, you were having fun with your boyfriend.”

“Your mate,” Larkin added quickly. “Which is totally fine.”

“Yeah, but suddenly it wasn’t me and Remy,” I explained, frustration lacing my tone. “It was me and Cassian and his friends. I was being held down while they... They did stuff to me.”

“Fuck,” Katy whispered, her eyes narrowed with rage.

Larkin and Tate had gone pale.

“It didn’t go too far,” I said in a rush. “A teacher came out and saw.”

“And kicked their asses?” Katy demanded.

A bitter laugh escaped me. “No. When she saw it was Cassian, she didn’t care. He ran the school. Most of the adults in the pack feared him, especially when he was with Preston and Marc. The three of them were like some unholy trinity of hate, sadism, and brutality. No one messed with them, especially not over me.”

“So, she left you ?” Tate’s expression was horrified.

I shrugged. “Cassian said they could finish with me later. They left me in the dirt and went inside, and I ran home.”

Larkin leaned her head against my shoulder. “I want to punch all of them for you.”

“Cassian is already dead,” Katy replied with a smirk, a glint of approval sparkling in her eyes. “But I wish we could resurrect him so I could kill him all over again for you.”

I exhaled, trying to be comforted by the fact that Cassian was gone and not a threat anymore. I would never have to see him again.

But still, there was a part of me that wished I had seen him. Or at least have seen his body. Maybe seeing him dead, not breathing and lifeless, would help with the nightmares. But Remy had told me that by the time they were done getting me to the infirmary and went back, Cassian’s body was gone.

He had planned on taking me back to Long Mesa with him, and even said he had a car on the way for us. It was why he had picked the spot he had; it was close to the road. They must have taken his body.

A chilling thought froze me in place.

Cassian was gone . Which meant someone would replace him. And I would put money on it being Preston.

Preston, whose brother and best friend I had killed.

I could feel myself starting to spiral, but I shoved the emotions down, swallowing the bile that rose up. Instead I refocused on my friends, on what was right in front of me.

“Did you tell Remy this?” Tate asked. Her brow was wrinkled with worry and concern as she watched me.

I shook my head so fast I got dizzy. “No. No way.”

“Why not?” Katy looked completely puzzled.

“Because,” I replied stubbornly. Because it was embarrassing and humiliating and made me feel like I needed a thousand showers to scrub myself clean.

And I didn’t want any of that dirt touching Remy in any way.

“Because you still feel ashamed it happened?” Larkin’s voice was soft and gentle.

I looked at her, knowing she was exactly right. “A little.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong!” Katy exclaimed, taking me by the shoulders all of the sudden and giving me a quick shake. “Skye, you’re a survivor . The fact that you’re not currently curled up in a ball in a padded room right now after surviving your former pack proves that.”

“Remy would never hold anything like that against you,” Tate added. “You know that, right?”

“Of course I know that,” I said, exasperated as I knocked Katy’s hands off of me. “Remy’s incredible. But sometimes I realize how much it must suck to be stuck with someone so damaged.”

Tate frowned. “You’re not damaged—”

“I can’t even make out with my boyfriend without having a panic attack,” I interrupted her, arching a brow. “He missed almost a month of classes last semester because I was in a coma after being kidnapped and almost dying.”

“Also not your fault,” Katy pointed out.

“But don’t you see? None of this would have happened if I wasn’t here,” I insisted. “I’m the problem in this relationship, and Remy is too good a guy to bring it up. He’s trying to deal with all sorts of stuff happening at school, and I’m making it worse. I can’t even be normal for a freaking day. ”

“Wow, okay,” Katy started, shaking her head and holding up a hand to stop me, “let’s start with that . First of all, I have never seen my brother as happy as he’s been since you joined our pack. Even before you two bonded, he was different whenever you were around.”

“Yeah, because I was a mess,” I retorted. “And clearly I still am.”

Katy threw up her hands. “Skye, honey, I love you like a sister, but I’m about to literally slap some sense into you.”

Tate put a hand on Katy’s shoulder. “Calm down. That’s not exactly helping.”

“If the situation was reversed,” Larkin started quietly, looking at me with serious eyes, “if Remy had been abused and came from a horrible pack that left him scarred, would it change a thing about how you feel for him? Would it make you wish you had bonded to someone else?”

The idea of someone hurting Remy seemed impossible, but even more impossible was the idea that I wouldn’t love him for any reason. Remy was it for me, and not just because of the bond. It was all the little things I saw him do.

The way he took time to explain things to younger pack members instead of simply barking orders.

The way he united our pack when things got crazy, and how people respected and looked to him for leadership.

The way he protected every single member of his pack.

The way he never once judged me for a damn thing.

Even this morning when he could have demanded answers from me, he gave me space and time.

I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it. It would be like living without a heart; all life would cease without him. My lungs wouldn’t breathe, my brain wouldn’t think, my body wouldn’t move without him.

“Nothing would ever make me love him any less,” I whispered hoarsely. “He’s mine.”

Larkin gave me a small smile. “You have to know he feels the same way.”

She made it sound so simple, so easy. And maybe it was.

I sighed loudly. “Maybe you’re right.”

“Maybe?” She hip checked me with a grin. “Only maybe ?”

Rolling my eyes, I started to laugh. “Okay, okay. You’re definitely right. You’re both right,” I added when I saw Katy open her mouth.

Instead, Katy smiled smugly at me. “Just as long as you realize how crazy you sound.”

I rolled my eyes again. “Got it.”

After a second, Katy sobered, her expression going gentle and solemn. “But seriously? I think it might help you to talk to someone about this.”

“I’ll tell Remy,” I replied, already dreading having that conversation, but knowing it was necessary.

“That,” Katy hedged, “but I was thinking maybe someone else, too? Like a professional?”

“A therapist?” I knew my face probably looked as stunned as I felt.

“Might not be a bad idea,” Larkin agreed, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Yeah, but telling someone everything that happened? Spilling my guts to a total stranger?” My spine stiffened as I resisted the idea.

“It’s not like that,” Tate said quickly, reaching out to take my hand. “After what happened with my parents, my father had me see a therapist in our pack. It helped me work through a lot of what happened with them. I’m not saying it’s a cure, but you might be able to get a handle on what triggers your anxiety and find ways to cope and work through it.”

“There’s a guidance counselor here at school you could try talking to,” Katy added.

“And there’s no pressure,” Tate went on. “You talk about whatever you’re ready to talk about.”

I swallowed, letting the idea settle even as doubt crept in from the corners of my mind. “But... but what if they don’t believe me?”

“After what happened to you last semester? There isn’t a single person in the school who would doubt your story,” Katy said honestly.

She must have seen the panic starting on my face because she was quick to add, “No one knows specifics. They don’t know what happened to you before, or really even the pack you came from.”

Tate’s face broke into a smile and she giggled. “My favorite theory is you had a stalker that was obsessed with you, and you jumped off a cliff rather than be with him.”

My jaw dropped. “What?”

Larkin clicked her tongue. “Or the one where Skye was being kidnapped to be Trace’s new mate? You know, since his dad lost Remy’s mom to Gabe, they needed to even the score.”

“You can’t be serious,” I sputtered, at a loss for words. Were people really speculating this?

Katy rolled her eyes, shaking her long hair out. “I swear, people will never get over that stupid fight from when my parents were younger.”

“It did fuel the fire between our packs,” Larkin commented with a shrug. “Blackwater and Norwood have a lot of bad history, and your parents are a part of it.”

“Basically everyone thinks it was a fight for your honor that got way out of hand,” Tate finished, still grinning at me. “I even heard a few guys say they wished they had known it was a contest because they would have tried for a shot with you.”

“Stupid boys,” Katy muttered. “Why do they always think they can fight to win a girl?”

“Um, years of normalization?” Larkin answered, her tone heavy with sarcasm. “Some packs still do that. If two males want the same female, they challenge each other for her.”

Katy looked absolutely disgusted. “Freaking medieval, archaic shit.”

“Anyway,” Tate cut in loudly, shutting them both down, “the point is, it might help you to talk to someone who can be objective and won’t judge you.”

“I’ll think about it,” I said with a thin smile as my eye caught movement at the end of the hall.

My heart stumbled in my chest as I locked eyes with Remy.

His shoulders were set in a hard line, every inch of him looked powerful... and exhausted. He didn’t make a move towards me, though. He stood still, waiting for me to come to him. Still letting me set the pace.

This time yesterday, he would have come up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. Now there were yards and miles separating us.

I hated that separation more than I hated anything.

Taking a deep breath, I squared my shoulders and took a step towards my future.

Towards my mate.