Chapter 14

14

RHODES

M y hands ached from holding the wrench too tight for the last three hours. I hadn’t stopped working on the bike, methodically removing and rebuilding entire sections that honestly didn’t need it. I just needed the familiar feel, the control it offered me.

At least I could fix some of the things I broke.

At some point Larkin had dropped off a sandwich on the workbench that went untouched, but I appreciated the gesture and the way she sat silently watching me work for a few minutes before leaving.

About an hour ago Remy had come into the garage. He didn’t say anything, just grabbed a set of tools and started working on the back brakes like we had done a dozen times.

Skye had brought us both bottles of water, only pausing to touch my shoulder and then Remy’s before leaving.

I appreciated it, the fact that my friends were staying close but still giving me space.

The white noise in my head was still buzzing, blocking most of what I was thinking and feeling. I needed that mental block right now. I wasn’t ready to start figuring things out.

Today I would be numb. Tomorrow I would start to figure shit out.

Like the house.

Jesus, did we have a mortgage? Bills that needed to be paid?

Sighing, I set down the wrench.

Remy didn’t lift his head from what he was doing. Instead, he only asked, “What’s up?”

“I’m just realizing I have no idea what to do next,” I admitted, sitting down on the hard cement of the floor. Within seconds the cold started seeping in.

Remy glanced over. “I would suggest reattaching the engine if you want this thing to actually run.”

“I’m talking about my dad,” I said quietly.

Remy paused, turning to give me his full attention. “Okay. Let’s figure it out.”

“Your dad said he... his body would be back in Blackwater later today.” I swallowed around the sudden lump of emotion clogging my throat. “Do I want to see him? Do I have to see him? Before they... cremate him, I mean?”

“I think that’s your call, man,” he said slowly, his intense eyes studying me, watching me.

“But what do I do ?” I needed a fucking rule book or manual or some shit on dealing with sudden death of a parent you weren’t sure you cared about.

“Rhodes, there’s no wrong answer. You do what you think is right,” Remy told me firmly. “If that’s seeing your dad tonight before he’s cremated, then do that. If that’s not seeing him, that’s okay, too.”

“What if I don’t, and I change my mind later?” I asked, still unsure.

Remy frowned. “Honestly, Rhodes, I don’t know what to tell you. That could happen, but if it does, it won’t mean you didn’t love him any less.”

Something in me bristled. “I didn’t love him. He was a drunk who couldn’t be bothered to be a parent.”

Remy dropped his eyes. “Rhodes, you don’t mean that.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“No, you don’t,” he replied, looking me in the eye. “If you did, you wouldn’t be having these thoughts. It wouldn’t matter.”

I closed my eyes, willing the sudden surge of emotions back.

I didn’t want to care. I had spent my whole life not caring. It was pointless to give a shit now about a man who couldn’t handle a week of sobriety for his son.

“There’s nothing wrong with loving your dad,” Remy said quietly. “It doesn’t make you a weaker man to care about someone else, Rhodes. That’s who you are—it’s one of the reasons you’re my best friend. My beta. I need a guy who can give a shit even when the other person isn’t worth it.”

I pressed my fist to my forehead. “I shouldn’t care.”

“Yes, you should,” he retorted, heat in his voice. “Your dad not being able to get his life together is on him , Rhodes. Your mom being weak enough to walk away from her kid is on her . The fact that you haven’t let them shut you down means you’re stronger than they are.”

“The fact that it took me years to admit how I feel about Larkin might prove you wrong,” I muttered.

“Bullshit. Larkin is here with you .” His eyes flashed as he shook his head. “I know you thought you would be too much like your dad or your mom to really commit to any kind of relationship, but it’s pretty freaking obvious to anyone that what you and Larkin have is a hell of a lot more than what your parents had.”

The garage door opened and Skye poked her head in, her green eyes huge on her face. Huge, and fierce.

Remy was immediately on his feet, with me close behind.

“Someone’s at the door,” she said in a low tone.

Remy frowned. “Who? Katy’s plane doesn’t land for another few hours.”

I looked at him, stunned. “Katy’s coming home? Why?”

“For you, dumbass,” he replied, side-eying me. “You have a family that loves you, man. You aren’t going through this alone.”

“Speaking of family,” Skye said quietly, opening the door so we could come into the house. She blocked the doorway leading to the foyer before we could turn the corner.

“Look, say the word and she’s gone, okay?” Skye said, the heat in her voice surprising me. “I mean, Larkin’s ready to kick her ass already, and I’m happy to help.”

“Who’s here?” Remy demanded, eyes narrowing.

I could hear voices coming down the hallway. Larkin’s and... another.

One I only heard in my dreams.

“My mother,” I said slowly.