Chapter 5

5

I was completely mesmerized by the scenery as we drove. Watching the landscape change from brown and dirt to green and lush was a crazy dichotomy. The further north we got, the cooler the air became and the more vivid the colors grew. By the time we crossed into the Washington state limits, I felt like a little kid. Every mile brought new wonders. My current favorite was the mountains looming in the distance, their snowy white peaks hiding amongst clouds.

Mom hummed along to a song on the radio I had never heard, her fingers drumming on the steering wheel. Her blonde hair was pulled in a ponytail and bounced as she bobbed her head to the beat. She had smiled and laughed more the closer we drove to Washington.

I loved our road trip. If it were up to me, we would never make it to Blackwater and just drive around seeing all the places I never knew existed.

“Are we staying in another motel tonight?” I asked, hoping the answer was yes. The first motel we came to, my mom had sighed and apologized to me as soon as we opened the door. I wasn’t sure why she was apologizing—I launched myself at one of the two beds with a laugh.

My entire life I had shared a tiny bed with her. For the first time, I had my own bed to sprawl out in.

“No,” she replied. “I called Zoe when you were in the bathroom at the diner. We should be in Blackwater territory in the next half hour or so. She’s coming to meet us at the border to introduce us to Gabriel.”

I twisted my hands together in my lap, picking at a fraying hole in my jeans. “You think they’ll let us stay?”

She glanced over at me, reaching over to place a hand over mine and squeezing. “Yeah, baby. Gabriel is a good man from what Zara and Zoe say.”

I took a deep breath, steeling myself to ask the question that had been plaguing me since we left New Mexico. “Do you think we’ll be omegas here, too?”

She paused. “I don’t know.”

I swallowed and nodded, looking out the window.

“Hey.” She waited until I turned back to look at her. “Skye, what happened in Long Mesa. You need to understand that I won’t let that happen here. I wouldn’t bring you to another pack to let you be turned into a...”

“Whore?” I supplied softly after she had trailed off.

Her jaw clenched. “Yeah.”

“I don’t blame you for what happened,” I told her gently. “It wasn’t your fault, Mom.”

She blinked, tears sliding down her cheeks. “Actually, sweetheart, that was all on me. I never should have stayed. I should have taken you and left. Shit, I should have left when I was still pregnant with you. I’ll never forgive myself for letting you grow up the way you did. Seeing the things you did...” Her hands clenched hard around the steering wheel. “That’s on me. I’m so sorry I failed you. I should have tried harder.”

“You didn’t fail me. You got me out.”

“Not soon enough,” she said bitterly.

“Why did you stay?” I had always wondered why, but never asked her. I would always tell myself there was no other option, but I knew pack members sometimes left. Some, like Zoe, married into a new pack. Others left for different reasons. Rarely was a pack member forbidden from leaving.

“After… After I moved into the omega house, I was constantly guarded. I think they knew I would try to run, and that would defeat the goal of punishing me. Keeping me present in the pack showed that no one was above their laws.”

“They’re assholes,” I muttered.

A smirk twisted her lips and disappeared just as fast as she slid into another memory. “Then after you were born, I was constantly afraid they would take you from me if I stepped out of line.”

She sighed again, her shoulders slumping as she took the ramp to get off the highway. “Even still, I actually tried once to get us out. Right after we saw your grandmother. Do you remember that?”

“Hard to forget when your grandmother tells your mom she should kill you,” I replied tersely. “Even if I was only five.”

“Stupid, old bitch,” Mom muttered, stopping at a red light. “I shifted and took off.”

“I remember. You didn’t come back until the next day.” I frowned, remembering how worried I was. That was the only night we had ever spent apart.

“I knew there was a hole in the northern corner of the fence. A grate for drainage.” She smiled wryly, her mind caught on a memory. “I used it a few times when I was a teenager. Zara, Zoe and I would leave and go into town. Go dancing.”

“And get knocked up?” I teased.

She sighed, and for a second, I regretted my offhand comment. “Yeah. That, too.” She paused and then shook her shoulders. “Anyway, I realized after seeing my grandmother that you had no shot in the Long Mesa pack. I knew I earned my omega status. I betrayed the pack, and I could own up to my mistakes. But, usually, there are ways for an omega to work their way up in the pack ranks. I knew you would never be allowed to be part of the higher ranks of the pack, but assumed that as you got older, you would be able to establish your own place in the hierarchy. Especially since you’re a female.”

I snorted. “Yeah. That was never gonna happen.”

She nodded. “Which I realized after talking to that old shrew. They would always keep you down. And even if you got pregnant in the omega house, odds are they would take your child or sentence it to the exact same fate. So, I decided to get you out. I was trying to figure it out, watching the guard shifts at night when Linden caught me.”

I sucked in a sharp breath.

“He told me in no uncertain terms that you and I were pack property. If they ever caught me trying to escape—with or without you—that the guards had orders to shoot you on sight or rip you apart. Whichever they wanted. The next day, the drain was filled with cement and closed off for good. It’s part of the reason why the eastern part of the compound floods when there’s a storm.”

She looked at me again briefly. “I wasn’t going to risk your life. I knew we had at least a decade to figure something else out. I was working with Zara on a plan to get you out before you turned eighteen.”

“Get us out, you mean,” I corrected.

“No, honey. Just you. I didn’t think I could get us both out. Besides, all that has ever mattered is keeping you safe.”

I growled. “And leave yourself to that psycho? To those assholes? Great freaking plan, Mom.”

“Hey!” She snapped, her green eyes flashed with irritation. “You don’t get to judge. I was doing everything I could to keep you alive.”

“What about my father?” I demanded.

Her eyes flashed with warning. “We aren’t discussing your father.” Her knuckles turned white on the steering wheel.

Shocker.

“We never discuss my father,” I snapped back. I should have stopped then. I knew I should stop, but this had been on my mind for seventeen years. “Why didn’t you go to him for help?”

Her teeth clenched together. “It wasn’t possible.”

“And now? Why don’t we go to him for help?” I pressed.

“It’s still not an option.” Her nostrils flared and she kept her eyes glued to the road in front. “Drop the subject, Skye. It’s not open for debate.”

“Why? Why not?” I kept pushing.

“He doesn’t even know you exist!” She finally yelled. The silence that followed filled the car like a physical being.

“He doesn’t know I exist ?” I parroted back hollowly.

She shut her eyes briefly, huffing. “No. And believe me when I say it’s for the best. Long Mesa is nothing compared to the world your father came from. It was... something that could never happen. I was an idiot to even think it could work. That night was a stupid moment of weakness from a silly girl who thought she knew love could conquer all.”

“A stupid moment of weakness,” I repeated softly, turning to stare out the windshield. “So, I was just the result of your stupid moment of weakness?”

“Yes,” she replied vehemently. “You were the only good thing that came out of that night. The only good thing in my entire life. I would endure a million more stupid moments of weakness if it meant I got to be your mother. I might regret a lot of things where your father was concerned, but you need to really hear this, Skye: I have never for a second regretted having you.”

I blinked back tears, not realizing how much I needed to hear that. The raw emotion in her voice created a fissure in my heart. I knew she loved me. I had always known that.

“Do I hate that I pulled you into this twisted world? Absolutely. But I will never, ever be sorry that I had you. That I was able to raise you. I’m just so damn sorry that you’ve had to endure all you have these last seventeen years.” She swiped at her eyes with her fingers. “You’re my world, baby girl. I love you.”

I sniffled and glanced at her. “I love you more.”

A small smile played on her lips as she turned the car down a side road. “I love you most.”

She took another turn onto a dirt road and drove a few minutes more before she stopped the car. I looked up to find a woman and a man standing several feet away beside a gray sedan in the middle of the clearing in front of us. They straightened as they saw us.

“We’re here,” Mom said, turning off the engine and giving me an encouraging look.

Here goes nothing.

Stepping out of the car and into the lush woods of Washington was mind blowing. My senses were immediately assaulted by new sounds and scents. I felt my wolf perk up. She wanted to explore this new landscape, and wanted the feel of the soft earth under her paws. It was so different from the arid, dry place we had left behind. It was still mid-September, but here was a chaotic world of colors, cool breezes, and waning sunlight.

I closed the door and met Mom’s gaze across the roof of the car. She smiled, her eyes full of hope. Taking a deep breath, I walked around the front of the car with her, falling into step slightly behind her to approach the man and woman ahead of us.

The woman’s face broke into a beautiful smile as we approached, her teeth bright white against her dark skin. She looked fit and strong, her head high and shoulders set back. There was a striking confidence to her I couldn’t help but be drawn to even dressed in jeans and a flowing blouse. “Welcome, friends,” she greeted. She seemed to hesitate for a second, but then reached forward with a laugh to hug my mother.

“It’s good to see you, Zo,” my mom said, hugging her tightly.

Zoe pulled back and glanced at me. Her hazel eyes ran up and down me as she shook her head slowly. “My God, is this Skye?”

Mom turned and smiled at me. The pride in her gaze made something flutter in my chest. “Yes. A little different from the last time you saw her, huh?”

Zoe’s eyes sparkled as she lifted her brows. “The last time I saw her, she was naked and dipping her crackers in desert sand before eating them.”

Mom’s head dropped back and she laughed loudly. “I forgot she used to do that.”

“I used to eat... sand?” I blinked, stunned. That didn’t sound appetizing at all.

Zoe winked. “It was a phase. Didn’t last long.” She reached her hand back to the man with her. His green eyes were shining as he watched her. He laced their fingers before raising her hand to kiss the tips of her fingers. “This is Michael, my mate. He’s part of the Blackwater council and one of Gabriel’s betas.”

Immediately I dropped my eyes and shifted back a few steps to show deference. Years of constantly submitting had been drilled into my head. My shoulders hunched, and I tried to seem as non threatening as possible. I felt my mother mimic my motions beside me.

“Oh, hey, no,” Michael said quickly, stepping forward. He reached out and touched my mom’s shoulder. “You don’t have to do that. This isn’t a test. You’re friends of Zoe’s, so you’re friends of mine. Please.”

We both looked at each other, unsure, and then at the man before us. He smiled kindly. “Zoe told me a bit about your old pack.”

Mom’s back went ramrod straight and she visibly swallowed hard before glancing at Zoe, trying to figure out exactly what he knew. What Zoe knew or what Zara had told him. “I... I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he answered. “Gabe will have questions. Zara told Zoe a little of what was going on a few days ago. She called right after you two got on the road.”

Mom went still. “A few days ago?” Her gaze zeroed in on Zoe. “You haven’t talked to her since?”

Zoe shook her head with a sigh. “No. To be honest, I’m a little worried. I called the house since she wasn’t answering her cell phone, but Linden said she was busy.” Her bitter tone left little unclear about how she felt about her brother-in-law.

“But you couldn’t speak to her?” Mom asked carefully.

Zoe nodded once. “He said Zara was busy planning the memorial for Warren and she would be indisposed for a while before he hung up. Asshole.”

Michael wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pressing his lips to her temple. “We’ll figure out what’s going on.”

“Damn it,” Mom hissed under her breath. “I knew we shouldn’t have left her.”

“We could go back,” I offered quietly, my stomach twisting violently at the thought of crawling back to the compound. But I would for Zara. She had risked everything to help us.

“No!” Zoe and my mom shouted the word at the same time. They both looked horrified at the suggestion. Even Michael was frowning.

“Your uncle asked if I had seen you or your mother,” Zoe told us seriously. “He knows you’re missing. If he asked me that means he probably knows Zara and I helped you.”

Mom drew in a deep breath. “This is exactly why I wanted her to come with us.”

Zoe gave her a sad smile. “You know my big sister. She never would have left Bella behind, and Bella thinks her father can do no wrong.”

“Gabriel and the council are working on a solution,” Michael informed us. “Zoe still has a few friends in the Long Mesa pack we can reach out to.”

“It’s not the pack you remember, Zoe,” Mom told her, her jaw set in a hard line. “It’s so much worse than Zara probably told you.”

“Zara hasn’t told me much,” Zoe admitted. “Linden frequently monitored her calls.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. My little brother is nothing if not completely paranoid. He’s been running Long Mesa the last few years even while Warren was still technically the Alpha. His father didn’t bother controlling him. Truthfully, I don’t think he could. I half expected Linden to challenge him any day.” Mom shook her head, her ponytail swishing over her shoulder. She absently reached up and twisted the ends around her fingers.

“We should get going,” Michael said. He pulled a set of keys from his pocket. “We’ll leave your car here. I’ll have some of the pack members bring it back to our house later on this evening. Gabriel and Mallory are expecting us for lunch. She’s cooked enough for an army.”

I tried not to tense but failed miserably. Michael caught it and gave me another open smile. “Don’t worry. Mallory is always looking for an excuse to throw a party, but Gabriel convinced her to keep it low key. It’ll just be the six of us today.”

Telling myself to relax and breathe was a lot easier than actually putting the words into practice. Again, Michael caught my hesitance.

“Skye, you’re safe. You and your mom are safe now. Trust us, please.” His gray eyes studied me, imploring me to trust him.

Zoe smiled at her husband, looking at him as if he had just climbed into the sky and plucked out the moon just for her. She turned that smile on me and held out a hand. “Let’s go home, honey.”

Taking a deep breath, I stepped forward and took her hand.