Chapter 2

2

I was staring at the small glass vial on the sink countertop in the master bathroom when I heard the door downstairs open. Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply, tapping into my wolf’s abilities to smell Remy as he jogged up the stairs.

The scent of pine and earth filled my nostrils, but instead of the peaceful feeling it usually triggered, a cramp tugged sharply at my stomach and a wave of heat swept down my spine.

“Shit,” I hissed, my body folding over at the pain as I gripped the edge of the counter. Breathing through my nose, I tried to ride out the wave of pain that almost sent me to my knees.

“Babe.” Remy appeared behind me in the mirror, looking like he wanted to touch me. Those warm eyes that looked like melted chocolate were full of love and concern.

“Welcome home, honey,” I deadpanned, grimacing as the wave leveled out and left me panting.

He snorted and rolled his eyes before stepping closer. His chest brushed my back and it was all I could do not to arch into his touch with a purr. As it was, the arms he wrapped around my waist sent pulses of arousal straight to my core as wetness slicked my already damp folds.

“What can I do?” he murmured, his lips brushing the damp skin along the back of my neck.

I managed a strangled laugh. “Other than screw me into next week?”

His gaze heated, and my panties were officially unsalvageable. I squeezed my thighs together and could feel my arousal had seeped out to smear across the insides of my legs.

Kinda gross, but not uncommon for a heat cycle. At least my body would produce massive amounts of lubricant for the next several days of intense fucking it would need to curb the worst pains of my heat.

Most women were married by twenty-one. There was one woman to every four men in our species, and a heat cycle meant their best shot at getting pregnant—something that didn’t always happen, despite being in heat. And some women only had a single heat cycle their entire lives.

But, having a bonded mate, like I did, drastically increased my chances of getting pregnant to the point it was almost guaranteed.

And that was a terrifying reality that I wasn’t sure I was ready to face.

I needed Remy.

Not just because I wanted him between my legs as much as possible under normal circumstances, but right now it was everything I could do not to tear the clothes from his body and straddle him until we were both breathless. But we needed to have a serious talk about our future.

Before I lost what little control of my brain I had left, I reached for the vial of clear liquid and held it up for him to see.

He paused, knowing what it was instantly. We didn’t keep things from each other, and we’d both known about the small gift Lulu had given me last year. The insanely powerful elemental had warned me years earlier that when I went into heat, I’d definitely be able to conceive. And because she was one of my closest friends now, she’d taken steps to give me a supernatural birth control that would work on my shifter genetics.

Remy didn’t even flinch as he met my eyes in the mirror. “Guess we need to talk about this, huh?”

I nodded, and turned to follow him into our bedroom. My eyes swept the space, taking in the empty areas where boxes had been before Mallory helped me push them into a guest room next door.

Or what could be a nursery , my wolf whispered, making it clear what side of the fence she was on when it came to getting pregnant.

Shaking my head to clear the thought, I looked around the room that was only furnished with a bed. That was all we’d had time to set up in here, but at least there was that. While I wasn’t entirely sure about the nesting thing, my wolf seemed happier once we’d moved the clutter of the boxes out of the room.

Remy sat on the edge of our bed and drew me between his open legs, his hands resting with easy familiarity on my hips. “Where’s your head at, babe?”

I ducked my head, not wanting this to just be a me choice, but to an extent, it was. It was my body that would potentially get pregnant.

“I don’t know if I want a baby right now,” I admitted even as my wolf rebelled at the idea. I felt like a failure and an asshole for saying it, but I just wasn’t sure I was ready.

Having a baby was what I was supposed to want. And I did… but maybe not right now.

Remy nodded, zero condemnation in his eyes. “Okay.”

“Just okay ?” I parroted, arching a brow.

“Skye, we have the rest of our unnaturally long lives to have kids,” he reasoned with a lopsided smile that made my heart do funny things. “I’ve never put you on a schedule, and I don’t plan to now. If you aren’t ready, then we aren’t ready. That’s it.”

I wound my arms around his neck, tangling my fingers in his dark hair. “But what about what you want?”

“I want you.” He grinned and slid his hands down to cup my ass, a possessive and totally Alpha look in his dark eyes. “And I have you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Ha ha. I know you want kids, Rem.”

“Of course I do,” he agreed. He’d grown up in a big family, something that wasn’t normal in our world. But his parents were bonded mates and had been able to have him, Katy, and their twin brothers, Dax and Sam.

I’d been the product of a one night bonding that never should’ve resulted in a pregnancy. Luckily for me, my parents were also true mates and thanks to some crazy good (or bad) luck, my mom walked away from the night they bonded with a souvenir.

Not that they’d fallen right into their happily ever after.

My mom and I came from one of the shittiest packs known to shifters and they’d forced her to break the bond she had with my father, leaving her alone and at the pack’s mercy for the next seventeen years. We had paid the price of that night for years , and I’d always sort of rebelled at the idea of having a child for fear they’d endure the trauma I had.

But with Remy and our pack, I knew any child I had would be loved and adored and so treasured. It was enough to make my heart ache from the fullness of knowing how happy our baby would be here.

It also definitely helped that my mom and dad had found their way back to each other and managed to re-bond.

“The pack will expect it,” I added. As far as we’d come as a species, there were still some deeply ingrained beliefs that would take awhile to sand away. One of those was that the Alpha of the pack was just that; the ultimate Alpha male and had the family to show for it.

Our pack would be expecting a pregnancy announcement in the near future.

He snorted and shook his head. “You think I give a fuck what they think of us? Babe, anyone who doesn’t realize the stress we’re under with the roles we’re juggling is an idiot. And you know if anyone says a damn thing, Rhodes will beat the shit out of them.”

I chuckled and nodded. Remy’s beta, who was one of my closest friends, too, wasn’t one who liked to see his friends and family getting hurt, emotionally or physically. And he was definitely more of a punch-first-ask-questions-never sort of guy.

It was why we loved him, and why he and Larkin made such a balanced pair. I could see the outline of their house out the side window of our bedroom. One day we’d all live here together and raise our families.

But I knew in my heart, this wasn’t the time for it.

“I want to wait,” I told my mate, my tone firm and finite.

“Then we’ll wait,” Remy replied with a shrug.

Still, I had to know. “You’re sure you don’t mind?”

His eyes narrowed. “The only thing I mind is you thinking I’m not a thousand percent with you.” His hands tightened on my hips. “It’s your decision, Skye, and I’ll back you in every way.”

“I love you,” I murmured, never ceasing to feel amazed at how much I truly loved him. He wasn’t perfect by any means, but he was perfect for me , and that was all that mattered.

“I love you, too,” he responded with a soft growl. “Now, go take your medicine so I can strip you naked and devour you.”

A tiny whimper slipped past my lips as a fresh surge of arousal tugged at me hard enough to cause another cramp. Remy was still teasing, but I could also see the seriousness as he sniffed the air and smelled my pooling desire.

Yeah, there was no hiding that from him.

Feeling at peace with my decision, I went back into the bathroom and downed the vial of birth control.