Chapter 1

1

TATE

I ’d always been a fan of the Blackwater Alpha house. Situated at the top of a mountain that overlooked the town below, it was surrounded by thick evergreens, the scent of cedar and pine heavy in the air as we all got out of the SUV that had driven us to my temporary home.

Home .

I stared up at the house that could arguably be called a mansion. The log cabin was bright and inviting with warm lights glowing from almost every window as if to beckon us inside. The wrap-around porch had multiple seating areas and flower boxes that were in full bloom. With three levels, the house served a multitude of purposes.

The top floor was where the Alpha and his family lived. With no less than eight bedrooms and six bathrooms, it was more than enough space for Alpha Gabriel, his mate, and their four children. Except, wait. Gabe wasn’t the Alpha anymore. Remy, his son, was Alpha now since Gabe had been injured in the blast that killed my—

Nope. Not going there tonight, Tate .

The main level boasted a giant kitchen that would make any Michelin-starred chef drool. Multiple sitting rooms and a large, formal dining room rounded out the space that I was usually in when I visited the Blackwater pack. The last time I’d been here with—

I squeezed my eyes shut against the memory. No .

The basement level with a ground level walkout to the backyard was where Blackwater pack business was conducted. Where the Alpha and his council met. It was where my dad could usually be found when we were in Blackwater.

Fuck. No.

Tears gathered behind my eyes as I pictured my father in their council room, his big laugh booming through the space as Katy and I would try to eavesdrop as children. Dante and Remy were always included since they were pack heirs, but now it was all over.

Dante was no longer an heir.

I was no longer the Alpha’s daughter.

And my dad…

My dad was dead.

“Tate.” Ryder’s warm hand curled around mine as he hesitated getting out of the backseat of the SUV. I stared down at the tattoos across his knuckles, knowing the ink extended up both arms, covered most of his strong back and chest, and collared his neck. My boy loved his ink. He’d gotten his first tattoo when he was fifteen and had added dozens more over the next three years.

On my other side, Dante pressed against my shoulder, making his presence known and felt. He had dark hair and eyes like Ryder, but that was where the similarities ended. Dante was big and wide with muscles upon muscles where Ryd was leaner and slightly taller. Dante looked like he was stepping out of a GQ ad with perfectly cut and styled hair and a strong jaw. Ryder’s hair was messy and longer than usual, dark scruff shadowing his jaw.

They were both staring at me with identical looks of worry, and I knew they were just waiting for me to break.

Not. Fucking. Happening .

I cleared my throat and lifted my head despite the exhaustion weighing down my limbs and wanting nothing more than to sleep away the next year. “I’m fine.”

Dante’s brows slammed down, his hand on the small of my back. “Tate.”

I nudged Ryder’s knee with mine. “Let’s go. I’m tired and could use a shower.”

Ryder and Dante exchanged loaded looks, but finally came to some sort of agreement without speaking. Ryder jumped out and turned back, reaching for me. Part of me wanted to push him away, but I was dead ass tired and I pretty much fell out of the door as he caught me.

“I’ve got you, pretty girl,” he murmured against my hair, his arms around my waist, as Dante jumped down and slammed the door shut.

Dante’s dark eyes found mine, and he stepped forward as if to reach for me.

I twisted away under the guise of a massive yawn, stretching my arms out wide and effectively dislodging Ryder’s hold on me. I didn’t wait for them as I trudged forward, up the stairs, following the others until I realized Skye and Remy had peeled away from our group and were headed into the forest alone.

Bitterness filled my mouth as I watched them go, my own pain eating away at my happiness for them like acid dissolving old bones. Their reunion was full of celebration, while being back with my guys only served to remind me of what was missing.

Or, rather, who was missing.

I turned away and focused on moving one foot in front of the other, following behind Katy, Rhodes, and Larkin while my boys flanked me. Before Katy could open the front door, it slammed open and one of her twin brothers appeared, quickly followed by the other. Their identical faces were full of hope.

“Where’s Skye?” one asked, his concerned gaze bouncing from each of us. A frown pulled at his mouth when he realized she wasn’t with us.

His twin elbowed him out of the way. “Remy’s probably with her, Dax.” Okay, that made this twin Sam.

Dax scowled and moved aside so we could enter.

Rhodes scruffed up his hair as he walked by. “They need some alone time tonight, kiddo. They’ll be back in the morning.”

Dax glared at him and tried to smooth out his dark hair. “Dude, not cool.”

“Dude,” Rhodes mocked with a grin, “don’t care.”

Sam, the more diplomatic of the two, stepped between his twin and their older brother’s beta. His bright blue eyes landed on me. “Hey, Tate. I’m really sorry about your dad.”

I gritted my teeth and forced a tight nod as the loss of my father fell over me like a lead blanket, the crushing weight of grief nearly driving me to my knees. “Thanks,” I managed. I felt Ryder’s fingers brush my hand, and I quickly took a few steps toward the house, out of his reach.

I was hanging on by a thread, and my initial reunion with my guys on the tarmac after getting off the plane had almost sent me into a grief spiral. I knew when I was finally alone with them, I’d break down, but I didn’t want to do that here in front of everyone.

Dante let out an aggravated huff that said he hadn’t missed the way I’d sidestepped Ryder. They knew me well enough to know I wasn’t okay.

Katy turned in the middle of the foyer and looked at me. “We’ve all been staying here since… Well, since the guys got back.”

Remy, Dante, Gabe… but not my dad. It shouldn’t have been possible for my heart to break anymore, but it did.

“But if you’d rather stay somewhere else—”

“I’m fine,” I cut her off with a tight smile. If I kept this up, my face might crack from all the pressure to act normal.

“We’re good,” Dante agreed, stepping up and wrapping an arm around my shoulders before I could move. He tucked me against his side as Ryder came up beside me and laced his fingers with mine, squeezing them.

I dropped my gaze to the floor as tears blurred my vision. Everything in my world had shifted, but these two were my constants.

Hold it together, Tate.

Rhodes sucked in a deep breath. “Look, it’s been a long day. We should all get some rest.” His mate, Larkin, leaned against him with a muffled yawn. The look he shot her was one of total adoration and love.

Katy ran a hand through her red hair, looking just as exhausted as I felt. “I’m not ready to go to sleep yet,” she admitted. “I’m going to make some coffee, I think.”

Larkin lifted her head, concern in her eyes. “Want me to hang out with you?”

Rhodes looked ready to argue, but Katy beat him to it when she shook her head and said, “Nah. I’m just not tired yet.”

It was a lie, but none of us were going to call her on it. She’d been stressed to the max since her girlfriend, Maren, got kidnapped.

Another pang ripped through my chest. Maren was the closest thing I had to a sister, and she wasn’t here either.

“We’re gonna play some video games in the den,” Sam said, grabbing Dax’s arm and towing his twin away. Katy turned and walked toward the back of the house a moment later.

“Maybe I should—” Larkin started.

“Bed, baby girl,” Rhodes growled into her hair before giving her a gentle push toward the stairs. Larkin shot him a dubious look, but walked up the stairs with him at her heels.

“Tate,” Ryder murmured, so much emotion in his tone as he uttered my name like a prayer.

“Upstairs,” Dante rumbled, and we both moved to obey.

Ryder went first, taking my hand and leading me up to the room they’d been sharing while waiting for me. It was a nice guest room with a king-size bed and its own en suite bathroom. There was a wardrobe against the far wall and a writing desk situated under the large picture window. The walls gleamed, the wood looking freshly polished.

I could smell Dante and Ryder here, their scents a familiar mix of snow and cedar.

Dante shut the door behind us, and my face crumpled a second before my legs gave out. A ragged sob ripped from my chest, so painful that I forgot how to breathe.

They both caught me at the same time, Dante at my back and Ryder at my front as they sank to the floor with me and let me cry.

“I know, princess,” Dante murmured, stroking my back and pressing against me.

It was like my heart shattered and the jagged pieces were slicing my insides to ribbons. I wouldn’t survive this loss. My dad was… he was the only family I’d had left.

Ryder’s lips touched my forehead. “We’re here. You aren’t alone.” He always knew the way my mind worked. The three of us didn’t have a conventional relationship, and by most standards, it shouldn’t have worked.

Until recently, Dante had been in line to be the next Alpha of the Brooks Ridge pack. He was my father’s heir. As such, there were certain patriarchal standards, as Katy would say.

While Dante falling in love with me would have been absolutely normal, falling in love with Ryder, his best friend and beta, was almost offensive to the formerly stuffy Alphas Council of North America. Ryder had been forced to be viewed as our friend in public even though he was just as an important part of our dynamic as I was or Dante was.

It was the three of us against the world now.