Chapter Fifteen

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

I wake up in North Security headquarters, my body still humming with the aftermath of last night. The early morning light filters through the blinds, casting soft, golden stripes across the room. I’m alone in the room.

My mind swirls with memories of his release from jail, the way he looked at me with such raw vulnerability. The way he claimed me under the hot spray of the shower, like a man starved for touch, for connection.

I reach down and gently stroke Tricks’s fur as he lies curled up at my feet. He gives a contented sigh and snuggles closer. My loyal little companion has been through so much with me. I can’t help but smile as I think about all the tricks we’ve practiced together for our new show.

I slip out of bed and pull on my clothes quickly.

Urgency thrums through me.

I have him in body.

I need him in spirit, too.

Tricks stirs and yawns, looking up at me with those big, trusting eyes. “Stay here, buddy,” I whisper, giving him a quick scratch behind the ears before heading downstairs.

The house is quiet, the only sounds coming from the soft slap of my feet on the cool marble floors.

Logan stands on a large balcony, framed by the sunlight. He stares at the horizon, lost in thought. The sight of him takes my breath away—so strong yet so vulnerable.

I take a deep breath and walk toward him, my heart pounding in my chest. “Hey,” I say softly, my voice barely above a whisper.

He doesn’t turn around immediately but his shoulders tense. “Hey,” he finally says, his voice rough.

I step closer until I’m standing beside him. The view from here is breathtaking—rolling hills and distant mountains bathed in sunlight—but all I can focus on is Logan.

We’re down to heys because they’re the only words that seem safe. Everything else is sharp, dangerous.

Words like circus and home and love.

I take another deep breath, summoning all my courage. “I know you don’t want me to talk about this, but the debut for the show is tomorrow. You deserve to see it. And they deserve to have you there.”

He shakes his head, looking away again. “I’m done with that life.”

“The circus needs you. And I think you might need the circus.”

Something dark flashes across his handsome face. “Because I’m a freak?”

My voice trembles despite my best efforts to keep it steady. “Am I a freak? Is Travis? That’s some bullshit. They got into your head.”

“They were always in my head,” he says quietly. “I was born with them in my head. That’s how I was made, Sienna. With cruelty. With rape. And what did I do? I went looking for it. I wanted it.”

I grip his arm tighter, forcing him to meet my gaze. “And what about everything you’ve gained? The family you’ve built? The community that depends on you?”

He looks at me for a long moment, conflict raging in his eyes.

“You’ve built something incredible—a family, a home for so many people. It’s a beautiful thing. Something to be proud of.”

He rubs his face, eyes weary. “I set up tents, Sienna. Sold popcorn.”

“You’ve given us all a place to belong. You helped me when I had nowhere else to go. That’s not something just anyone can do.”

He looks down at his hands, clenched tightly on the balcony rail. “And I fucked you. Did you think about that? Would I still have helped you if I didn’t want to suck on your tits? If I wasn’t already imagining how your cunt would feel around my cock?”

The crude words hit me like a blow, which is how he meant them. “Yes,” I say, my voice shaking. “You would have still helped me no matter what.”

He finally meets my eyes, pain like white water rapids. “I’m glad you believe that. I know the truth. Which is that you’re just a good fuck.”

I flinch. “Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“You’re being such a bastard, but then, you know that. Would I still have run away with the circus if you hadn’t had green eyes and hard abs? Yes, we have sex. Yes, we like it, but that’s not all we are. We’re safety. We’re home .”

My voice trembles, but I can’t stop now. “I’ve spent my whole life an outsider. Forrester never felt like home. Not once. It was a prison. The only place I ever belonged was the circus. With you.”

His eyes flicker with something—pain, maybe regret. “Look how well that turned out. You’re right back where you started.”

“I used to think that if I could just be strong enough, tough enough, then maybe I could make it on my own. But the truth is, Logan, I’m terrified. Terrified of losing you, terrified of going back to that emptiness.” My voice cracks, and I swallow hard against the lump in my throat. “Because I’m not back where I started, as long as you’re standing by my side.”

His hands grip the railing so tightly his knuckles turn white. He looks out at the horizon as if searching for answers in the distance. “I want to stand by your side, but I’m not sure I’m standing at all. I’m down. Way, way down.”

“No,” I whisper.

He turns to me then, his eyes filled with a storm of emotions—fear, longing, love. “I don’t want to drag you down with me.”

“You won’t,” I promise.

Logan’s lips crash against mine, and for a moment, the world fades away. The kiss is desperate, filled with all the emotions we’ve been struggling to express. I melt into him, my body responding instinctively to his touch.

As the kiss deepens, becoming more heated and sensual, desire ignites within me. But a small voice in the back of my mind reminds me of the conversation we were having, the importance of what we need to resolve.

Reluctantly, I start to pull away, my breath coming in short gasps. “Logan, wait,” I murmur against his lips. “We need to—”

Suddenly, his demeanor changes. His grip on my arms tightens, and his eyes flash with a mixture of pain and anger. “If you’re not going to fuck me, then leave me alone,” he growls, his voice rough and cold.

I take a step back, shock rippling through me. My mind reels, trying to process this sudden shift. I can see the hurt behind his eyes, the way he’s pushing me away to protect himself from more pain. But the harshness of his words, the callousness of his tone, cuts deep.

My heart aches for him, for us, but a surge of self-respect rises within me. I won’t let anyone treat me this way, not even Logan. Not even to prove my love.

“I understand you’re hurting,” I say, my voice trembling but firm. “But I won’t let you push me away like this. I care about you too much to watch you self-destruct.”

I take another step back, creating more distance between us. “When you’re ready to talk—really talk—I’ll be here. But I won’t be your emotional punching bag, Logan. I deserve better than that, and deep down, you know it too.”

He glares at me and then turns to walk away.

The Texas hill country stretches out before me, a patchwork of rolling hills and wildflowers. It’s so different from the flat, dusty plains of Forrester where I grew up. Here, the land breathes, the horizon seems to promise something new with each dawn.

I close my eyes, letting the memory of my old tree house wash over me. I can still remember the rough bark under my fingers, hear the creak of the wooden planks as I climbed up to my secret haven. Lying on my back, I’d watch the sunlight filter through the leaves, creating a mosaic of light and shadow. It was in that sanctuary that Maisie had found me one afternoon, breathless and excited.

“The circus is coming to town!” she’d shouted up at me. Her blonde hair glowed in the dappled light as she beamed up at me. That was the day everything changed.

Back then, running away with the circus felt like an escape. A way to break free from a town that never accepted me and a father who made home feel like a prison. But now? Now, I crave the circus for entirely different reasons.

I want it back not as a means of escape but as a place to belong. As home.

But can I really do it without Logan?

I stay on the balcony, my thoughts a tangled mess of memories and hopes. The distant sound of a car engine purring to life pulls me from my reverie. My heart leaps in my chest. Could it be Logan? Has he decided to come back and face everything with me?

I turn quickly, eyes wide with anticipation. But instead of Logan’s familiar figure, I see Liam North standing there. His presence is commanding, almost predatory, his lean muscles coiled like a panther ready to strike.

Both men are tall and handsome, but where Liam is a smooth, sharply honed blade, Logan is a serrated knife—brutal and raw.

“Morning,” he says, his voice smooth but edged with steel.

“Morning,” I reply, trying to mask my disappointment. It’s not Logan.

Liam’s eyes flicker with understanding as he takes in my expression. “He’s upset.”

“Yeah,” I admit, my shoulders sagging slightly.

He steps closer, his gaze steady and assessing. “He’s been through hell. Give him time.”

I swallow hard, fighting back the sting of tears. “What if that doesn’t work?”

“I see the way he looks at you. If you can be his anchor, he will be okay.”

I look at Liam, searching for any sign that he might be right. His confidence is unwavering, but I’m not convinced.

“He said he’s done with the circus,” I say quietly, more to myself than to Liam.

“People say things when they’re hurting,” Liam responds. “Doesn’t mean they believe it deep down.”

I want to believe him, but the doubt gnaws at me. “What if he doesn’t come back? What if he can’t?”

Liam’s expression softens just a fraction. “Then you’ll find a way to keep going. You’re stronger than you think, Sienna.”

His words are meant to comfort, but they only add to the weight on my shoulders. I’ve always had to be strong—strong for myself, for my mother, for the circus. But right now, all I want is Logan by my side.

“Thanks,” I murmur, forcing a small smile.

Liam nods and gives me one last look before heading inside, leaving me alone with my thoughts once more.

The sun continues its climb in the sky, casting long shadows across the landscape.