Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

T here wouldn’t be enough room in a single Fae Court to accommodate all of Underhill’s creatures. Worse, how would we get them here?

We had no portal. Our access to Underhill had been cut off, and while I’d been named mistress of that land, I wasn’t her. I wasn’t my mother.

She was gone, dead, killed by Sigella. Tea-drinking traitor.

“Fuck,” I whispered under my breath. No matter how we situated the creatures, there was no way they’d fit at the Alaskan Court with Queen Hyacinth, or even split between the Alaskan, Irish, and Louisiana Courts. We needed a solution tonight.

Queen Hyacinth—who’d insisted I call her Cinth since I’d seen her vagina—and my sister, Kallik the Oracle, were leaning over a map of the Earth realm. We’d convened at the Alaskan court to discuss possibilities , of which there was only one.

One none of us wanted to agree to.

All because Underhill, the long-standing home of the fae and all fae creatures was no longer safe. More than that, my home realm was being destroyed by….

My heart clenched. No , I wouldn’t think about the one doing the destroying.

For the last twenty-nine days, I’d done all I could to avoid thinking of Cormac or Aaden, and the creature they’d become. Andas, he called himself.

If I thought about them too much, then I found myself longing to turn away from those I needed to protect. I found myself yearning for something with him that could never be.

A hand settled on my shoulder. “Little sister.”

I blinked and turned to Faolan, Kallik’s mate and now my brother-in-law. Brother. Family.

As much as I’d lost, the forces governing balance had tried to rectify it by gifting me with replacements. I’d lost my mother, and those forces had given me her power—or a weaker semblance of it. I’d lost Kik, my brother and true family, and those forces had given me Faolan and Kallik and Cinth. Except no one could replace Kik, and no one could fill my mother’s boots. Certainly not me.

And, as it turned out, no force in the realms could replace Cormac and Aaden.

“You have an idea,” Faolan said to me quietly. “I can see it in your face.” He was the calm one of the group, that was for sure. A good balance for Kallik.

That word—balance—made my guts clench.

Creatures from several realms expected me to take on my mother’s job and provide them with that balance, but someday soon they’d figure out I was undeserving of their faith.

“Yes.”

His eyes searched mine. “Then you should tell them. You’ve never held back before, Silver, but this last month that’s all you’ve done.”

“How do you know that?” I didn’t snap, though, and I didn’t push him away. I was fucking exhausted. Tears, grief, and loss had dampened the fire that had burned in my soul my whole life.

“Because in many ways you are a mirror of Kallik, and I know her better than anyone else.” He didn’t shift his eyes from my face. “Which makes reading you and your emotions significantly easier. Far from perfect, but…easier.”

I swallowed hard. We had to move an entire realm of creatures tomorrow. Faolan was right—I had to speak now, or we wouldn’t save them all.

Leaving any creature behind to suffer the tyranny of Unbalance as Underhill was destroyed wasn’t an option I could live with. The creatures there were family, from Old Man the dragon to the naga to the rainbow flock who’d helped to defeat the sluagh, and everyone between, even the tarbeasts.

I’d been declared their protector, and whether I wanted that title or not, it was my responsibility to fulfill the role as best I could until a worthy replacement could be found.

I turned to the table and steeled myself. “We must let them assimilate as they wish. You cannot contain them.”

Silence met my words as Cinth and Kallik faced me, cutting off their conversation about saving a quarter of all the species and leaving the rest in Underhill to become slaves to Andas. Hyacinth was already shaking her head. “I understand how you feel, Silver, but that isn’t possible. Human and fae relations are tenuous at best after Rubezahl’s attacks. If we unleash these fae creatures on Earth?—”

“If we don’t do this, a realm of fae beings will die. There isn’t enough room, food, or shelter for the creatures of Underhill at any one court. Even if the other courts accepted some of Underhill’s creatures, there still isn’t enough room for everyone, and I won’t leave three-quarters of my people behind to die. The humans will survive. I will instruct the creatures from Underhill to stay as hidden as possible and to attack no human unless in defense.”

That would be a large request for creatures who had only ever existed in a kill-or-be-killed world.

“They can’t attack at all,” Cinth spluttered.

I met her panicked gaze, saying coldly, “This is the way of life and death, Queen Hyacinth, and if humans and fae in the Earth realm have forgotten this, then they will be reminded to their long-term benefit. I will not order any creature to lie down and die. They could have young to protect or a herd. They could also be unable to stop their defensive magics and abilities.”

Humans had forgotten they were mere animals in a realm. Earth didn’t belong to them, and they—like any other creature—would need to adjust to a change in their habitat. Or perish if adapting was beyond them.

The alterative was killing an earth-equivalent of fae creatures. That made the decision very simple. To me, at least.

Kallik gave me a doubtful look. “You think Old Bastard can stay hidden?”

Old Bastard was the largest of the dragons in Underhill. Other dragons existed, but none of his size. I was fonder of him than most, and he’d also earned rare respect from my mother during her reign.

“Old Man will reside here at the Alaskan Court,” I said, certainty coming to me as I spoke. “As will the rawmouths. They’ll stay close to where you and Cinth can keep eyes on them.”

Hyacinth shook her head again. “The humans will believe we’re warring against them. It’s the excuse they’ve been waiting for to try and take our lands and magic. Silver, there are too many of them and their weapons are formidable. There’s a reason we haven’t pushed for more of a presence in their world.”

“Convince them otherwise,” I said. “There’s no other way.”

Kallik’s lilac eyes closed, and her essence pulsed as she accessed the unique oracle magic that allowed her to study much of the past, present, and future. “The path has cleared. We must follow Silver, or we will face a worse catastrophe.”

“Ah, fuck me with a beetroot tickle,” Hyacinth muttered.

Kallik’s lips twitched. “That would be an extreme waste of a good beetroot tickle.”

I had to agree with her on that point.

Her best friend waved a hand and slumped onto a chair, her skirts fluffing up around her like one of her delicious puff pastries. “You know, sometimes I detest that you made me queen, Kallik. This is not…it was never what I wanted for my life. It was meant to be temporary.”

Kallik’s smile faded. “I know, my friend, I know.”

If Andas—Unbalance—succeeded against us, then Cinth wouldn’t need to worry about being Queen of All Fae. Dead fae didn’t worry about much at all.

Silence fell as we stared at the map of the world before us. The choice was a simple one, but the consequences wouldn’t be. I’d grown up fighting for my life, and if my savage, relentless urge to survive was any indication of how humans might react when their survival was under threat, then we’d face a vicious battle on another front.

“I’ll let the human ambassadors know what’s happening. I’ll tell them this is temporary and the creatures will behave.” Hyacinth straightened in her chair, and despite what she’d said, I believed she was the best choice for Queen of All Fae—her diplomacy alone was worth its weight in naga treasure.

This was a temporary situation, but not in the way she’d assumed. Once Andas destroyed Underhill, there would be no home for the creatures of Underhill to return to. Worse, a potential war between the fae and humans would only contribute to his strength.

Andas must be sitting in the scale realm right now, roaring with laughter as we all slid into turmoil and chaos. Feeding him.

I walked out of the war room, closing the door behind me. I didn’t need to argue more for Underhill and its creatures. Cinth would do as I asked because I was the Mistress of Underhill and Kallik had informed us there was no better path.

Convincing her didn’t make me feel any better about what would happen after the creatures of Underhill escaped their home. My home.

I strode through the palace, ignoring the other bustling fae, the warrior half-fae, and the subservient full-blooded humans. Escaping to my room was hardly a solace, but the chamber provided a quiet place that I’d hidden in more than once in the last twenty-nine days.

“Oh! I thought you wouldn’t be back until much later.”

I looked up as Orry, my silver bat friend, floated down from the ceiling, her pale wings spread wide. Behind her was a mess of flowers.

“Orry, what were you doing?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

“I was trying to surprise you. I found these flowers that complement your hair in the palace gardens. I was hoping to weave them through a braid?” She landed on my outstretched hand.

“Of course,” I said, despite the weight in my gut that wanted nothing more than to be alone.

Orry directed me to sit on the edge of the bed, then fluttered around behind me, her tiny claws dragging through my hair as she swept the long strands into an intricate braid, adding flowers as she went. I’d been born with silver hair that had gone blonde for a time before changing into glimmering silver hair that was as metallic as my mother’s golden hair had been. Looking back I could see that my hair had shown the signs of my mother preparing to leave the realms.

“What’s going to happen?” she asked quietly. “To Underhill and its creatures?”

“The queen will do as I asked.”

“You’re going to set them free, aren’t you?”

I let out a long, slow breath. Why did this task fall to me? Mother, why did you leave me alone in this mess? “How did you know?”

“You’ve been muttering in your sleep for the last week.” Orry finished the braid and crawled onto my shoulder, hugging my neck. I lifted a hand to her tiny body and gently held her.

“Thank you, Orlaith, for being my friend.”

“Don’t talk like that,” she whispered.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re going to die. Like you want to.”

“That’s not the plan.” I tried to smile, but my face couldn’t seem to remember how. There’d been too much loss. Mother. Kik. Cormac. Aaden. My men might be trapped inside Andas, but I knew I’d never see them again. Not as they’d been. Mother had set me an impossible task when she’d ordered me to reach them.

Her words were burned into my memory. He does carry the souls of the men you love. You have a chance to reach them. Reach them, and they can stop Unbalance.

Now that the problem of saving the fae creatures from their impending doom had been decided, I had no further reason to delay carrying out her final order to ‘reach him’—whatever that meant.

I stood and walked to the open balcony doors.

Alaskan summer was fast fading, and the nights stung with cold as winter snapped at us, eager for its turn. I gripped the balustrade and peered out across the court and Unimak to the ocean beyond. The wind tugged at my senses, bringing the scents of salt, flowers, and magic. A pinprick of white in the night sky swept closer.

“I don’t believe you,” Orry said, near tears.

I took a breath that didn’t fill my lungs. “Andas is without mature and strong henchmen now. He’s on his own, and I’ve been tasked to defeat him by somehow reaching Cormac and Aaden within him. They must be the source of his power. If I can’t beat Unbalance, then he’ll kill me and everyone I love. But I know what killing him will take from me. That’s why I speak as if I will die. Because I’ll either die in spirit and heart if I kill my men, or in body if I can’t find the strength to do so.”

The white speck in the distance grew larger in size, and wide-spread wings and long legs took form as it grew closer. The being raced toward me, somehow feeling my need even though I’d said nothing.

Was this part of being Underhill’s chosen protector?

Orry let go of me and flew forward to bop Peggy on the nose as she landed gracefully on the balcony.

The pegasus was the last of her kind. She’d loved Kik, the last land kelpie, and he’d loved her. At least my friend and brother had known true love before the sluagh killed him.

“Peggy,” I murmured.

“Get on. We need to fly. Bat, you stay here.” Her command was sharp, and Orry and I both obeyed without question.

As soon as I hopped onto Peggy’s back, she launched into the air, her powerful haunches shooting us straight up as her wings caught a current of winter-kissed wind. The sharp cold was a slap in the face as Peggy soared high, so close to the stars that I could have sworn they were within reach. The temperature this high up was freezing. My skin and bones ached as if I’d plunged into the icy end of the purple sea.

“What is it?” My teeth chattered as Peggy leveled out, her wings stretched wide to either side.

“This is the last moment of peace you’ll have for a very long time,” Peggy whispered. “Once the creatures of Underhill come here, then Unbalance will try to claim Underhill, the very source of fae magic. You stand between us and that future.

I shivered, although not from the cold that wanted to wrap around me again.

“Peace is fleeting,” I answered, willing to accept her gift.

“True, and all the sweeter for the moment it touches our hearts.” Peggy banked through a cloud and the moisture stuck to my skin, freezing in little ice droplets.

I could have pulled red essence from the stars to warm myself and dispel the ice, but I let the droplets stay. Maybe they’d help freeze my emotions and heartache too.

“Did I call to you?” I asked. “How did you know…”

“That you needed something more than your friend Orlaith could provide? Do you know why Pegasi limit our riders?”

Despite being raised in Underhill, I didn’t know the answer. I’d heard of Peggy before Kik had taken me to her, and everyone knew that attempting to ride a Pegasus was a death wish, but I hadn’t realized there was a deeper reason for it. “No.”

“Our riders become part of our family, and as part of our family we can sense each other from afar. Almost like homing beacons. More than that, we can sense strong emotions. Your distress called me.”

The words poured out of me, up above the world where speaking such things felt safer. “Everything could go wrong, Peggy. Everything is going wrong, just the way Andas needs it to. Underhill will be under his power, destroyed for us.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and confessed something I hadn’t wanted to admit to even myself. “Fae will weaken without a connection to Underhill. They’ll lose their magic and, given enough time, they will die. They’ll have no option but to do whatever Andas wishes in the end. That’s if we can even make a portal big enough for them to come through tomorrow. You’ve seen the size of Old Man. It’s all…destined to fail. I can’t see a way through it.”

“You have too little faith in yourself, young one.” Peggy drifted lower until her legs skimmed the ocean and her wingtips sent up a spray of salt water. “Underhill believed you could face Unbalance and win. You have every creature of Underhill behind you. Even the queen and oracle are following your orders. Do you think a person is given so much respect and trust without having earned it?”

I was a hunter, a savage thing by Earth standards, and a daughter of Underhill. I had spent my whole life doing Underhill’s bidding, as had we all. I didn’t bid others. I could never be as powerful and confident as my mother had been.

“Peggy, if I fail, I doom every soul that depends on me. Every fae. Every dragon. Every naga.”

Peggy pulled up short and landed on a small outcropping of rock. “Dismount.”

I slid off her back, and as soon as my feet touched, she spun to face me in the air, her wings barely beating but nonetheless holding her in the air. “You are the chosen one, Silver, Mistress of Underhill. The fae realm shines with your essence. The mantle was passed on to you, and you alone. Young one, you possess all the knowledge and strength needed to meet your destiny with the fearlessness you are renowned for in all realms.”

With that, she spun and flew away, leaving me on a rock in the middle of the damn ocean. “Peggy!”

“Regain your heart of fire, Silver,” she called over her shoulder, “Remember yourself. Find all you know, for you will need everything to face the coming darkness.”

I stared after her retreating form. I hadn’t touched my essence, or the magic that connected me to Underhill once in the last twenty-nine days. No one else had noticed.

On that rock I stood, freezing. On that rock, I allowed my suffering to rise and consume me, because my heart deserved to feel everything that I’d battled back for nearly a month. For the first time in my twenty-one years, I couldn’t forge on through my pain, so I had to find another way to keep going.

I had to suffer and be unafraid of it. I had to be as fearless in pain as I was against any unknown predator. I had to learn this predator’s weaknesses so I might survive.

As the sun slowly rose on the thirtieth day, I was rewarded with my answer.

Suffering was a poison—one that ate at a person over time. And so I’d desensitize to this suffering in the same way I’d sometimes desensitized myself to other poisons. In time, I would suffer without being frozen by it.

I couldn’t say what I might do to Unbalance in the end, but I didn’t need to worry about that just yet. I had to focus on letting the suffering in little by little in the hope that I could do what was needed when the time came.

I closed my eyes as the surrounding waves swelled up and over the rock, soaking me through, chilling me again. Cold, the darkness was cold. Andas, Unbalance, was also cold.

But the magic of Underhill was light and warm.

Underhill was fire.

I was fire.

A spark grew within me, and I lifted my hands as silver magic coursed through my body, joyous and vibrant after its imprisonment. I’d never seen my essence shine so bright. Fire coursed through my veins, my heart, and my soul. The fire blazed a path around the suffering I’d let in, cordoning the poison off.

I might not be what everyone thought, but I did possess the power to do one thing for those I considered family.

The creatures of Underhill needed a portal.

One step at a time, one foot in front of the other down the path.

Silver surged into my fingertips.

“Here we fucking go,” I whispered.